Tag Archives: thoughts

Some Things that Aren’t True

 

We all have an ego, which feeds us information about ourselves and life that isn’t true.

Which defines you.

Most thoughts the Ego creates stem from fear and are designed to keep you from making ANY changes. It just wants you to stay in the known. But the problem is that most of your greatness and dreams lie in the unknown, which can be scary. The Ego is your false self, a voice in your head telling you things to limit you.

This little writing is about some daily popular lies your Ego creates for you. If you do nothing else, look at your thoughts objectively and see if they are in your best interest. If they are causing you to suffer, harm yourself, and not allowing you to step into the best possible version of yourself, then make a change. Of course, like all things, YOU are the one who needs to make the decision.

Lie # 1 You are what you own.

Your are not what you own
You are much more than this……

Many of us buy into this one. Our Ego equates accumulating things with being critical, safe, successful, and happy. Yet, even though this thought is in our heads, experience teaches everyone that the enormous pile of material goods will not make you a good person. Once a purchase is made, there is a momentary feeling of gratification followed by a search for the next thrill of possession. If only it were this simple. Buy something and be a better person. The funny thing is that what you own will never make you happy.

Our society is so consumer-oriented, and we are all conditioned to consume from birth. Propaganda teaches what things you need to be popular, influential, or successful. If a person feels a lack, we are introduced to fill it with popular clothing or highly processed foods loaded with sugar. All of that is not going to make you any closer to happiness. You are what you own is a lie that we all believe, but it is still a lie. In the end, when you are taking your last breath in this drama called life, you will not be thinking about the things you own. You will wish for the people who mattered to you—those you loved and loved you back, even for a short time. The lies of the Ego push love to the background with a need to make you safe. What you own doesn’t create character, love, enjoyment, or happiness. Find your true self.

Lie # 2 You are what you do for a living.

In American society, this is particularly true. When you

You are not your job
Are you happy?

Meet someone, and one of the first questions asked is, what do you do for a living? Why? We can glean their success, value, and personal development by the profession one decides to pursue. This is a lie, as well. What someone does for work does not define their character, caring, kindness, and ability to care about others. This is your Ego, looking to measure yourself against someone else and making yourself feel better about your life, choices, and prospects. It has no merit at all as to your value and contributions as a person. A profession is what you do to make money, not who you are.

This is your Ego, looking to measure yourself against someone else and making yourself feel better about your life, choices, and prospects. It has no merit at all as to your value and contributions as a person. A profession is what you do to make money, not who you are. A better question to ask a person you just met is, “What excites you right now?”  That passion is a more realistic indicator of what a person is all about.

What you choose to do to make money is not a vote of confidence or an indictment of your ability; it is a reflection of current circumstances. The e will change but will still have little to do with your value, and your actions will show this.

Lie # 3: What others think of you defines you.

One of the most harmful lies your Ego tells you. It  s a simple fact that some people are going to love you,

Prison of what others think
Who wants to live in prison?

Some are going not to like you so much. Most of the reasons for this have nothing to do with you but more with that person’s biases and experiences. When someone notices something about another that bothers them, it reflects something they don’t like about themselves.

Often, I have created imaginary thoughts in others’ minds, in which I make explicit assumptions about their thoughts of me with absolutely no factual evidence. To give validity to these thoughts (which don’t exist) is insane.  So  thoughts that help me – 1. What someone else thinks of me is none of my business. 2. Ego is not who you are ev r form assumptions about another’s thoughts. 3. if someone thinks something negative about you, it doesn’t make it accurate.

One of the most challenging lessons here is not caring about what others think about you. Your thoughts and feelings about what you do should be necessary.

The bottom line is that you have control over the thoughts that you entertain and add validity to in your life. Cho sing to add value to negative thoughts about yourself is a self-defeating activity that can be changed at any moment.  You are not your possessions, your job, or what others think of you……….That begs the question, “Who are you then?”  Looking for this answer is the first step to expanding consciousness, a deeper understanding of life, and a feeling of fulfillment.

The Essential Lessons

What We Should Teach

There are many life lessons we will learn

Presented with the opportunity to teach anything I wanted, and assuming that anyone wanted to learn, there is no doubt that I would try to teach a few of the things I have learned from life that I think are important.

 There were many important things that I never considered early on in life, which have proven invaluable and nearly vital knowledge today.

 These lessons may not be mind-blowing, but I think they are essential for you to be all you want to be in life. Whether you believe they have a place in your life or not is up to you.

1. There is Greatness in You

No matter the circumstance of life, each of us has the potential for greatness inside. How that greatness shows itself is different for everyone, but it is nonetheless. The secret is to find your area of expertise and allow it to grow.

greatnessIgnore the limiting thoughts of others. DonDon’tt your own negative self-talk discourage you. Follow the feeling in your heart that tells you quietly and confidently what you should be doing. Know that you are great, and allow it to show. Some of us have hidden our talent for so long that we have forgotten what direction to look or what to look for.

The first step to finding out what your skill set might contain is to start to look for it. Once you do, I have found that things tend to fall together quite naturally to develop and present you with a path to follow.

Before any of that can happen, you have to accept that you have greatness in you with the potential to do whatever you dream of.

2. Love or Fear will rule you.

There are two forces inside each of us, and everything we do comes from them: love or fear. You can choose which one you pay attention to in any situation.

 Love is not just romantic love. That is a tiny part of the entirety of the emotion, and it includes all branches of this positive emotion. Kindness, acceptance, joy, peace, love, humility, empathy, and truth are all things that come from this positive force.

Fear or Love Frame the Phrase Adyashanti Fear is the opposite and leaves its calling cards behind, evil, anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority, and ego. Following these feelings and thoughts will bring more situations to make the same choice. What you think is who you are.

With every situation you encounter throughout life, you will be faced with this simple choice of how you approach it, and your choices will determine what kind of life you experience.

It is important to remember this choice because sometimes you may be in a situation where someone elselse’soice will affect you.

How positive the impact you have in life will, in a nutshell, be boiled down to which of these two opposing forces you align yourself with.

 

3. Gratitude is the Attitude

I do not know if gratitude can be taught or not, but it is vitally important to have a good life. Often, we spend life looking at what we dondon’tve and wondering why.

This thought pattern will only bring more awareness to what you dondon’tve. Since you spend all of your thought on the lack in your life, that is precisely what you will continue to experience.

InspiringsFramedPrintGratitudeBestowsReverenceThe alternative is to focus on what you do have, and even if it isnisn’tch, being genuinely grateful for what you do have will open the door’ for more to come into your life. Since your thoughts are about gratitude and being thankful, the world will find a way to see that you experience more of these things.

Being grateful is recognizing what you have and experiencing some joy about it. Being grateful will allow you to enjoy that thing and experience a feeling of joy surrounding it.

 If you are experiencing joy, even on a small scale, it is hard not to be happy. If you are happy, well, isnisn’tat the purpose of this little game called life? I think it should be, and I am grateful to be able to tell you this.

4. Live in the Present Moment

Speaking of being happy, you must learn how to live in the moment. That means you are aware of and appreciate what is happening in your life. It would seem simple to do, yet very few people do it.

 Distractions take out minds to all sorts of places rather than where we are. You cancan’tjoy today if your mind is lost in yesterday or tomorrow. If you arearen’tesent, then your happiness will evade you.

33214115972027956_gojpenAi_f Look at people walking down the street today; most are focused on anything other than where they are. On the morning commute, almost every eye is looking at their phone or Apple Watch searching for something that is not with them.

The present moment and all that it has to offer is ignored for a fantasy of thought that takes you anywhere, but at the moment, you are actually in.

This is important because if you live your life half aware of what is going on right in front of you, it will be challenging to experience long-lasting happiness. Simply because if your joy is in the past or uncertain future, it is not with you right now.

conclusion

I would include many other lessons in my lesson plans for life, but that will have to wait for another day. I am grateful to all of you who have read to this point! You just made my day! Remember that the end game of life is to be happy. So if you are making decisions or having thoughts and experiences that arearen’trking to that end, you need to change them. You have the power to do this anytime you want, and you have to like it.

 Reflections on the way things used to be…….. lead to knowledge

Thinking About Positive Thoughts

positive thought“Every good thing begins with one positive thought.” ~Bryant Mcgill

Do you realize any small, minuscule, infinitesimal positive thoughts you entertain in your head could lead to great things in your life?  Our thoughts build on themselves, adding momentum to whatever you create.  They remind me of being a kid and building a snowman. You start with a small round ball that easily fits in the hands of the smallest of children. Then you put it on the ground covered in snow and roll it along. The ball will grow in size as long as you can find the power to push it along. Soon you have created a snowball that is so big it is difficult to pick up. You need three of these snowballs to create a decent snowman.  carefully placing each on top of the other and decorating it in the fashion you choose

That is the way of our thoughts. As we move them around, they collect more of the same charge of energy you used to create it, and soon your little thought has transformed into an action, which can be duplicated by others, and soon it can’t be stopped. You are the potential catalyst for all good things that happen in the world, and of course, you can be a part of the negative aspects.  We each decide how our thoughts will infect the world around us in every small moment.  Does the snowman you are building wear a smile or a frown?

Positive Thinking

positive thought
Like a snowball rolling down a hill, your positive thought can grow to enormous size! Choose your small thoughts carefully. They can destroy or create the world.

So what does it mean to have to think more positively?  Every second of each day, there is a choice that all people have regarding the thoughts they entertain. I have heard the average person has about 70,000 thoughts a day. Our minds are constantly creating ideas, opinions, and interpretations based on our experience in the world. Thinking positively is a choice somebody has to make; we all choose this course, or we choose to be negative.  It isn’t anybody else’s fault. You choose the thoughts of love over fear, and you are on your way to a positive mind frame.

To be more specific about these choices, there are choices of love over hate, laughter over crying, creating over destroying, perseverance over quitting, praise rather than gossip, healing thoughts and actions over those that hurt another or yourself, giving rather than taking, action over procrastination, growth over stagnation, or choose to live rather than to exist.  Each favorable decision will allow for your energy to grow in either direction. Positive or negative, it is all up to you, and the most minor positive thought can lead to at least one small good thing. As with all things, there is a possibility of growth, just like the snowball.  This can be created in either direction, again chosen by you alone.

What Are You Growing Today?

So the challenge for you today is to look at the thoughts you are entertaining. Where do they fall on the chart, positive or negative? Our thoughts lead positive thoughtto words that lead to actions that lead to the reality we are experiencing. Look at your thoughts critically and ask: Is this a thought I would like to grow? If it isn’t, it is time to make a different choice. Our future is created in every choice of thought we make today, at this moment.

We are responsible for the reality we create through our thoughts and our personal energy. Are your snowballs made of white clean snow containing all of life’s potential? Or do they contain the dirt and grime of negative thoughts brought on by negativity?  Life is created through energy, and you, yes, you, play a part in charge of the energy around you in your life and how others in your life experience because of you. Positive attracts positive, and negative attracts the same.  So the snowball you hold in your hand at the beginning will determine the type of snowman you are left with at the end. You are responsible for that in all moments of your life. What are you building? Watch your thoughts.

Every good thing begins with one positive thought.  Keep in mind that the reverse is also true.

“Change your thoughts, and you can change your world.” –Norman Vincent Peale

“There is only one corner of the universe, you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” –Aldous Huxley.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” –Alice Walker.

 “You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.” –Rachel Hollis.

“If you say you can or you can’t, you are right either way.” –Henry Ford

Getting Better or Getting Worse

In all things, we are either getting better or worse. Wisdom is one of the factors in our lives that determines the soundness of our actions or decisions, based on our use of the experience we have, the knowledge we have acquired over the years, and the excellent judgment we have produced. When do you know that you are wise? When do you know that your decisions are sound? It takes some thought and effort to evaluate everything we experience in life.

Thoughts to Seek

Our minds are a powerful tool, producing a non-stop stream of thought left unguarded or unwatched; it has just as much negative energy as positive energy. Our mind reacts to the input you give it. From the books, you read, shows you watch, games you play, or people you choose to spend your time with. All have input into the machine of the mind. Like children, our thoughts will run wild and unruly without discipline. There are thoughts you can choose to seek, which will make you stronger.

Any thought that weakens you in any way should be avoided and eliminated. How can you control what you think? In some ways, you can’t, but what you can do is choose the thoughts you pay attention to. When a negative thought comes up, and you know it doesn’t serve you become your best self. Let them slide by you without addressing them. Then move your thoughts to something that does move you toward your best self. Invest your energy into these thoughts and follow where they lead you. And your thoughts will become a more valuable and powerful commodity.

Which Thoughts are the Right Ones

Recognizing the thoughts you should hold onto is easier than you might think. Look simply at the source and result of the thought. Does it come from fear? Or does it come from love? It is easy to recognize which is which. Thoughts of fear are negative and bring with them all the downside of fear. Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, arrogance, self-pity, dishonesty, arrogance, false pride, and ego are thoughts you should let slide by you. While thoughts of peace, acceptance, happiness, joy, humility, kindness, serenity, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. These are the thoughts you want to pay attention to.

The paradox is that no matter what you do, all of these thoughts exist daily within each of us. It is the ones we give our attention to which will dominate our lives. Every person will represent their dominant thoughts or the ones they choose to focus on. If fear is your predominant thought pattern, the negative list will be on your way to feeling happy. When you are worried about what you are getting out of something, it will generally be negative. When you are concerned about what you give to a situation, it will probably be a positive experience. These thoughts empower you and allow you to enjoy the knowledge that life is providing you.

Why It Is Important

It is essential to know that you control which thoughts you focus on because if you are entertaining a constant flow of fear, they will eventually wear you down. You will slip more and more into a mindset of fear allowing all of the negative things above to creep into your reality. For example, hating someone will wear you down, make your reality less enjoyable, and never once harm your enemy. Letting these things dominate leads to easy anger, needless conflict, and general unhappiness.

Learn to embrace the positive in you and follow those thoughts, and you will see the enjoyment of your life improve. Rather than fearing getting robbed of something or not getting your fair share, you will be looking at what you can share. The positive thoughts allow a person to live in harmony with the things around him and not let needless anger cloud their judgment. Wherever you are in your mental world, please take a moment and evaluate it and remember.

We are constantly getting better or worse, and the thoughts we choose to pay attention to in each moment will determine both the level of our improvement and the amount of enjoyment we get in life.

“Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.” – Roy T. Bennett.

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” – William James.

“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.” – Roy T. Bennett.

“The positivity in our life is a function of our thinking. So think positive, stay positive!”

 

Welcome to the Morning

There seem to be two ways to look at the morning. Once it is the beginning of yet another day, the possibility of what you can create has begun. Either way, you look at it, today is here, and we have an opportunity to attack our lives with a dynamic passion or with a weak resignation to the fate of the calendar. Here are a few ideas to make this day and every day the best they can be. It is always a matter of the thoughts and emotions you will accept from yourself.

Positive In, Positive Out

One of the first choices we make each day happens when we wake and Monday accentuates this attitude because it will often set the mood for the week. A positive thought is essential to your day and your energy throughout life. Rather than look at your job and existence as drudgery or something you have to “get through,” you can view it as a great joy and adventure. It is always your choice to energize your life with positive thoughts and peaceful emotions at every possible opportunity.

Some days can be challenging; challenges are always going to arise. You will have bad moods, but you can change your attitude when you realize that your attitude is a choice of thought. All emotions result directly from the thoughts we entertain. Choose a different idea if you feel angry, upset, frustrated, defeated, or any other negative emotion. This optimistic attitude about yourself is available at any moment throughout the day. Your thoughts will energize your life one way or another. Positive thinking in mind leads to positive energy.

Become More Conscious of your Energy

As your day gets going, be conscious of the energy you are producing with your thoughts, words, and actions. Through your power, you can make your life better in every way. You can choose to eat healthier and participate in activities that increase your vibration. Your life will naturally be a more positive experience for you and those you deal with daily. Many people get in trouble when they start looking at things and become concerned that their needs aren’t being met.

When you adopt this mentality, you will be operating from a mindset of lack and fear. Fear of not meeting your needs will pollute your day with negativity, anger, jealousy, and worry. There isn’t any adverse action or mindset that can’t be neutralized with its opposite positive thought and action. Feelings of lack contradict beliefs of abundance, fear with love, anger with peace, worry with confidence. These things can be done instantly because we choose the thoughts we entertain in our consciousness.

Make Today Great

There is no other day that we are guaranteed to have than this one. It is up to us to choose if we want today to be great or not. Yesterday is over, and no matter how good or bad, it is now a part of history, and we can’t change anything about it. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to anyone. Today is all we have, and you can choose to be more conscious of what you appreciate in life and the great things that make you the best version of yourself. You can decide to make today optimistic or pessimistic. It is all up to you to choose hope and joy in your life. Make today as powerful as you can.

 

All our dreams can come true–if we dare to pursue them. –Walt Disney

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. –Les Brown

Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless. –Jamie Paolinetti

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. –Lao Tzu

 A year from now, you may wish you had started today. –Karen Lamb

Know Your Focus

What do you think and talk about Expands

Do you want to know what is important to someone?  Anyone at all? Look at their lives, and you will see the things in them that describe what they are thinking and talking about.  It never fails. This process means listening and observing below the surface of the conversation.  If you are living from your ego, then you are a fixed mindset person, which will dictate your focus on making sure your image is protected rather than nurturing who you are.  What you think and talk about expands, and what you ignore and keep to yourself does not.  Where is your focus today? Choose it wisely.

Focus on Growth through Change

I hope to develop a continual focus on growth as a person, which means embracing changes.  This philosophy is not straightforward because sometimes change hurts emotionally.  To face a difference in your life may require you to leave all you know and move to a new location. You may have to leave a loved one behind.   It may require you to abandon some beliefs you have held on to.  Growth is a process that embraces change, and change can only be accepted and influential if you focus on it as a benefit.  Attitude is everything, and when push comes to shove, most people don’t want to change a thing in their lives. Either they like something in their lives and fear losing it. Or, if things are bad, they might worsen if change happens. Dislike of change can be an instinctual reaction.

Every day there are changes from the day before. Sometimes the changes are subtle and almost invisible. Other times they are monumental and life-altering. Change is inevitable and constant; learn to embrace the changes coming to you.  Focus on accepting the changes happening in your life. See them become better and speak about them that way.  Focus on the growth you see in your life as a good thing, and it will be. Look at difference as a painful loss, and that experience will be yours just as easy.  Your focus will determine the growth of an idea in this genre.

Challenges Are Great

The same mental attitude applies to the challenges we face. Focus on the positive things a problem brings. Learn to embrace them. An issue will pop up all the time, and some people try to avoid them at all costs.  It is much easier to drift down a river unencumbered. But no matter how much you try, eventually, rocks will be in your way, and either you learn to navigate around them or get crushed on them.  That is a matter of mindset.

Look at successful businesses but never look at the terrain ahead.  What works today may not work tomorrow.  Embracing the challenge of the effects of new technology or a societal shift in purchasing will be the difference between failure and thrive moving forward. How you focus your mind will determine the fate of your business. There is little chance to grow if your focus is where you are. Focus where you want to go, allowing you to handle what rocks are in your way.

Do you Think People can Learn things, or are they born with the talent?

Ego tells us talent is everything. But is it?  Where is your focus? There will be cases where a person is just gifted with a God-given ability to do something, but to be great, you can’t have a fixed mindset. A limited perspective will lead you to make attachments in your mind to a particular outcome of any activity, limiting the number of experiences. There is a near unlimited list of possible issues that exist, some you may never have thought of and would enjoy the best. Limiting your experience is also a sign that you live through your ego.  Challenges are avoided, and if you would instead give up than be proven wrong,  you are anchoring your experiences to a fixed point.

 

Most people, including me, have a narrow focus when we approach some things with a fixed mindset. I catch myself all the time having thoughts that could come from growth.  Noticing these thoughts for what they are will allow you to make a different choice and grow from an experience. Skills can be learned, developed, and mastered over time.  Decide what you want to do, and then pursue it. Ask questions, and learn from all sources that make sense.  Do not be afraid not to know something because you will find the answers once you know you don’t know.  Other people will help you become better, which is not bad.

The first sentence of this writing tells a story about what you think about and talk about as life expands. If you focus on your problems, guess what you will have more of?  If you focus on the good things in life, imagine what you will have more of?  It is all up to you and your focus.  Look long and hard at the decisions you are making that direct your attention. Then look at your life and what you are getting out of it and see the connection between them. If you don’t like it, change your focus to something more growth-oriented, making a difference.

“That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it because once you get there, you can move mountains.”- Steve Jobs.

“The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.”- Brian Tracy.

“The successful man is the average man, focused.”

 

Can You Think??

“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason, so few engage in it.”
― Henry Ford

thinking
At the very least, you think, my friend.

What It Means To Think

The ability to think is a craft that has been too often disregarded by most people today. We let so many other things fill our minds rather than pure, sober thought. When we use our thoughts, they are often twisted, harmful vines of gossip or judgment that do no positive good to ourselves or anybody else.  The good news is that it is not too late to learn how to focus on the moment, allowing your thoughts to lead away from the negative and toward the positives of creativity.

Conformity Is A Cage of Mediocrity

From the moment I was born, people seemed to push me into a box of conformity.  We are all persuaded and made to “just fit in”  and not be different because when someone is conformity is the jailerso bold as to be different from the crowd, there is no reward, only ridicule from peers and teachers.

The problem with conformity is there is no originality, and without original thought, there can be nothing new, and nothing new will change.  It is a paradox that people strive to fit in when anybody who ever did anything worthwhile stood out, was different, and had original thoughts.  So the first thing you should do is stop being one of the crowd and start being yourself.  When you see a question, don’t just look for the answer; look for the process to get the answer.  Think outside of the box, and don’t be afraid.  Your greatness is just one thought away because ideas do become things.

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

Choose your thoughts? A perfect friend of mine once told me that there was no way he could choose his studies because his brain just worked too darn fast to try to control.  That may be true. I have no way of knowing, but even my quick-thinking friend can choose which thoughts he gives credence to and which ones he lets float away.  Your mind is a you are what you thinkmachine that works hard to allow you to understand the world. It will think about many things. Some are positive about things you like and support.  Then there are the negative thoughts of gossip, anger, hatred, discrimination, greed, etc.  You choose what to do with your thoughts, entertain them, or dismiss them entirely.  Which direction you decide to go in will determine much about the quality of your life and what you experience.  So always choose your thoughts wisely. What you think will determine the pleasure you experience in life.

What You Put In Your Mind Matters

An old saying is that what you put into your mind is exactly what you will get out of it.  Today we are a society of easy answers and quick fixes.  There is instant entertainment available virtually everywhere now, thanks to smartphones and tablets.  This modernization is all wonderful, except that many people choose mindless games to play and programs to watch with little intellectual value.

Some entertainment can be great, but there are so many negative messages sent through the media and on the internet that it can become difficult to feel even the slightest bit positive about ourselves.  This manipulation is because marketers figured out a long time ago that you will do almost anything to feel good if they can make you feel bad about yourself.  This most often involves buying whatever they sell, making you prettier, sexier, thinner, or more attractive.

Even the shows that should be educational, like the news, drive their programming on negative stories designed to instill fear or spread cheap gossip. Suppose you want to be able to think then, for at least a small portion of time every day read an actual book.  Read about philosophy or ideas that might broaden your mind.  Reading is an interactive process that increases your ability to think. The more you do it, the greater your power.  If you don’t believe me, put down the phone, turn off the computer or television, and read for just half an hour a day.  The results will astound you.  Reading is the key to the doorway of thought, be brave and open it.

Keep Your Mind Open

Once you start thinking, you will think you know it all and are pretty sure open mindabout how the world works.  The most intelligent thing that anyone can do is to understand that no matter how smart they are, they do not, nor will they ever know it all.  There is always something else to learn, some theory to try, some perplexing problem to solve.  Every thought is a step on the path of growth, and you can’t be too surprised when today’s fact turns into a stepping stone to help you reach tomorrow’s truth.

Thinking is a lot like building a pyramid. You can create the top until you place all of the concrete stones at the foundation, then the next level, and then the next.  Keep your mind open to give credence to thoughts you haven’t considered, test them, question them, and evaluate their merits.  Only then can you glean the wisdom or folly of every idea you encounter.  A closed mind will never shed any light on the world, whereas an open mind may provide an opening as bright as the sun.

Someday, You May Need This

When you read this, you may not pay attention right now, which is OK. You may want to hold on to your entertainment, and you may not like to read. Maybe you don’t want to stand out from the crowd because people might talk about you.  That is your choice, and I respect that.  At the moment in life, you think, “ Is this it?”  or “what is life all about?” I want you to come here and read this.  Those questions are the spark of all proper thought, and you will have a hard time finding happiness until you learn to evaluate the messages from your mind.

“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
― Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader

Being Outside the Norm

Outliers- a person or thing differing from all other members of a particular group or set.

You were born an original, don’t be a copy.

I have always been an outlier in my life, a person who is different from everyone else. This observation isn’t to say I am any better or worse than anyone else, I just am myself, and that person seems to not quite fit into the molds others so quickly pour themselves into. I have felt something wrong with me for a long time, a shortcoming of intellect or the things I enjoy.  Some people look at my differences and see a weakness that needs to be fixed so I can fit into their ideas of “normal” and find their version of happiness and safety. That would be a crime.  My greatest strength and most valuable commodity are that I am an outlier, and I see the world differently than everybody else. I don’t ask anyone to think like me, speak like me or act like me. I ask only for my true self to be on full display, which differentiates me from others and is my value.

Thoughts of an Outlier

The older I get, the more I learn, and the more I understand, the less I know. But there are a few nuggets of knowledge this outlier has found to be accurate and helpful.  We are all in control of a large part of the reality we experience, and it is done through the beliefs we carry around in our subconscious minds.  What we believe about ourselves and life tells us precisely what types of things we will accept from others and what we expect from the experience. The level of success you will reach and the value you see in yourself are all dictated inside of you.

You can change your programming through a consistent effort of conscious thought and action in your life. It begins by examining how you talk to yourself and noticing what you say to yourself. If you are critical, cruel, judgmental, or unaccepting of who you are on the inside, what chance do you have in the outside world of finding success?  Reworking the inner dialogues, you listen to and your beliefs about yourself will take work but will lead to a version of yourself that can accomplish almost any goal. This outlier believes we are in total control of what we ultimately experience. If it doesn’t make any sense, you have to accept responsibility for whatever it is and change your thoughts and expectations about who you are.

Actions of an Outlier

Actions are the things we do. I have developed a list of things I like to do and experience.  I enjoy time by myself, writing, learning, and thinking about life. But I have found my favorite thing is to have an honest conversation with someone about the things in life, I guess.  Not a debate but a discussion about the validity of my thoughts, where they are weak, where they are stable, and where they are in between. Finding a partner as an intellectual equal is a gold mine of creative juice and thought provocation.

I also think as an outlier. I enjoy creating adventures in close-by places and spending time with another who wants the small things in life. A good meal, a beautiful natural spot, a movie, a concert, time spent just quietly together talking about our hopes and dreams. Finding these adventures in life has been a great find and one I think is unique to me. It seems like people are looking for other things that are more complicated or refuse to see the joy that can come from sharing small thoughts, a stop for ice cream, or hiking a mountain. I know people who look at me, the outlier, as if I am crazy because I am not like them.  I look at them and feel sorry for them, understanding they are limited by their vision and expectation.

Company for an Outlier

Just being an outlier, by definition, is going to involve some lonely moments. You are not like the whole group, and although I am OK with the way it is, there are moments when you wish there were more companies. When a company comes, it is delightful and painful to realize the potential fellow outlier was a fake—just stopping by to see how you lived because it looked interesting.  But then they retreat into the comfort of society.

You have no choice here because you are what you are, even if the person judging you is someone you care about.  The judgment is like all others, a reflection of themselves, not of you. They must live with that, and you have to be true to yourself and be the best person you can be.  This outlier believes in honest and open communication. If I do something, I am going to explain why. That is the responsible thing to do if you care about someone. Anything else reveals a character flaw that will negatively affect your life until you rectify it.  I have carried many mistakes out into the edges of my existence, allowing them to change me.

Become an Outlier

I will encourage you to find your path in the world that is different from those walked by any others.  I know people who pay verbal homage to this idea but in action don’t follow through; their lives are empty and lost. They wish they had the strength to become a real outlier, but the leash of their programming has them caught entirely in their little lives. No matter how big their dreams are, they will never take the steps necessary to achieve them because, deep down, they think being an outlier is too dangerous and wrong.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Thinking differently, and acting uniquely like yourself is the most critical decision you can make. Finding your style can be hard to do and open you up to the judgment of others, but that is where greatness comes from and a real contribution to the world.  Become an outlier today and be yourself; you are the only person you can be.  It will start with being more conscious of the thoughts you think, the words you speak, and your actions.  Look around and see just how far from the group you have strayed and know that it is precisely where you need to be, an outlier. I am the outlier.

“Achievement is talent plus preparation. The problem with this view is that the closer psychologists look at the careers of the gifted, the smaller the role innate talent seems to play, and the bigger the role preparation seems to play.”

“Hard work is a prison sentence only if it does not have meaning. Once it does, it becomes the kind of thing that makes you grab your wife around the waist and dance a jig.”

“Hard work is only a prison sentence when you lack motivation.”

“Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.”

 

Your Thoughts

We are too smart for our good sometimes. The mind is a fantastic tool to enhance lives and solve problems. Still, I often forget it is just a tool to navigate our movements through life most efficiently and beneficially possible. I forget an instrument is not infallible, and this tool is not our identity.  Left working on its own, the thoughts created by your mind will mislead you, make you feel unwanted and unnecessary emotions, and move your actions in circles rather than in the direction that might benefit you.  Too often, we trust our minds and identify with our thoughts. We believe them and give credence to them, allowing them high power over our lives.  The sad fact is our minds lie, mislead, and produce thoughts based on past programming, and following thoughts blindly will lead to treating perceptions as reality and having emotions run your life. Don’t trust your mind.

Tricks of the Mind

Our thoughts will trick us into believing something that isn’t true. The mind will often produce a story based on half fact and half rumor to support a thought you have and make it seem valid.  It does this to justify your feelings and your actions even when your steps are not proper.  All evidence is produced to make it seem ridiculous to question any part of it. Did you treat that person fairly?

How you choose to look at something often dictates what you see.

Were you open-minded?  Was that statement you made right or speculation? Our minds will find a way to make it seem right, but it may not be.

Like a lawyer arguing a case with no opponent, you will only get evidence that supports your thoughts and none that contradict or question. Unless you make a conscious effort to find it, eventually, the validity of thought will be revealed in the value of your life. Choosing not to question your beliefs will lead to a life of not getting what you need, but what is easy. We pay attention to each thought and believe going to bring a feeling with it, and it will lead to your actions in what you do and how you treat others. Much of what we “think” is done on the subconscious level, and thoughts are produced because of experiences in the past, not the thing you face today.

Confusing Movement of Thought

If you are honest, the truth is far from our minds. Our thoughts can prevent us from seeing if we don’t ask conscious questions. Opinions tend to overcomplicate things by adding a view upon the idea and creating wild speculation about what might occur if this happens or that does.  The mind also produces many different possible solutions to a problem, which makes finding the exact answer hard in a world of choices that is no choice.

The hard lesson is that we think things into reality—nothing ever created in existence, which was not a vision in someone’s head first. Change is a fear producer in mind, and our thoughts will support this fear with a litany of “what if,” doomsday scenarios that lead us not to move forward. They keep us safe in our place, stunt any possible growth, and stop us from reaching for the next goal. There is no moving forward.  We listen to alternatives from our thought which cause us to walk in circles of safety rather than trying something new. Your heart will always know the correct answer for you, but if you are listening to a thousand loud thoughts, you can’t hear the quiet calm voice inside of you. Don’t let the clouded judgment of untamed thoughts move you in cycles and circles in your life.

The Mind Avoids the Truth

Ask yourself any question, and your mind can move out on unconnected tangents of thought to avoid the more complex, more difficult choices and directly answer questions. A specific issue may be uncomfortable, painful, or just what you don’t want to hear. The mind is a deceiver, and it knows how to make you feel like you are

Too often, we allow our thoughts to avoid hard truth and bury our heads in the sands of the past.

Being busy and productive even when you are not. Look for absolute truth with probing questions like, “Is this thought true?” Or “Is this thought relevant to the problem at hand?”

We will follow our thoughts into a place we shouldn’t allow them to take us where no action or movement exists. Thoughts about our past often provide no value other than to keep us spinning our wheels today. Thinking is the gatekeeper of our powerful tool of imagination. Instead of using this power to create today, untamed thoughts will turn into fantasies of the past, which will have you running in place, thinking of dead dreams, and a waste of your power. Using your mind well will allow you to create the world you live in and your experiences. Or you will be used by your meaningless thoughts, creating nothing but an eddy of mediocrity and unguided powerless action.

Question Your Thoughts

Take the time today to look critically at the thoughts you are producing and the subsequent issue of their power.  Are your thoughts pure?  Are you 100% sure? If you are not, you are letting your perceptions rule you, not the facts.  Anything you are not sure of is just speculation, and if one side of the coin can be seen as accurate, then so can the other with a bit of effort. “That relationship ending was bad.” How was it wrong? List these things, then look and see if there is an argument for how it was good.  Momentary pain can make something seem devastating, but the benefits might be very positive in the long term.  Sometimes, just looking for them in your thoughts will reveal this to you.

Either we know the truth about something, or we don’t. Being honest about this will lead to seeing the power of your mind and the gifts it can provide. Following thoughts we are not sure of will lead to a rise in our anxiety levels. By merely admitting we are not sure and don’t “know” the answer, our negative emotions will decrease, and there is room for positive thoughts to exist.  Create this room for positive thinking by questioning the validity and truth of all of your thoughts.

  1. “A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.” — William James
  2. “Clear thinking requires courage rather than intelligence.” — Thomas Szasz
  3. Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?” — Winnie the Pooh
  4. “Few minds wear out; more rust out.” — Christian N. Bovee
  5. It is well for people who think, to change their minds occasionally in order to keep them clean.” — Luther Burbank
  6. “Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.” — Benjamin Lee Whorf
  7. “Misery is almost always the result of thinking.” — Joseph Joubert
  8. “Most of the mistakes in thinking are inadequacies of perception rather than mistakes of logic.” — Edward de Bono
  9. “Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it.” —  Ralph Waldo Emerson
  10. “What we think, we become.” — Buddha

 

The Unknown

face the unknown
Be grateful for What is Currently Unknown.

All of us have a deep desire to know what will happen next.  Where are we going? What is the next step? What should I do now?

Sometimes it seems like it would be much easier if our lives were scripted in a book that we could read beforehand.  Follow the script, and you will eventually come to your happy ending, and everything will be alright for all situations.  That is just not the way that life works, and I, for one, am understanding of it and most grateful for it.  Face the new experiences of life and bravely embrace the unknown. You don’t have any other choice, and you have made your choices, which have put you where you are. Be responsible and own your situation, regardless of the fear and the unknown.

Don’t Fear What You Don’t Know.

I have found the unknown to be very undesirable on a few occasions. First, when things are going just wonderfully.  When you look around and think, “Wow, I overcome your fear of the unknownam so happy right now.”

This attitude is a problem because if I feel on top of the world, I have the built-in fear that there is no place to go but down.  Since that is the case, I tried not to get too happy for many years because it could be taken away.  I never realized that happiness is not extrinsic from myself; it is inside.  I have had experiences that were fun, happy, wonderful, and I never wanted them to end.  I also have experienced scary, uncomfortable, painful, and sad things.  In the past, I thought that my happiness couldn’t exist in the presence of something terrible.  I found that my joy depends not on what happens to me but on how I look at the world from the inside.  We are not in control of many things outside of ourselves, but we are in total control over how we handle them.

I know many people who have everything they should need in the world.  A healthy relationship, money, family, you name it.  Yet they choose to be unhappy, which I can’t understand.  I also know people who seem to have very little but are extremely happy.  It takes me to a quote I heard, warning you to be careful when you find something that makes you happy because it can be taken away from you.   Happiness comes from within you.  So if you accept whatever happens as the experience that it is, sad things make you feel sadness for a time, but your happiness is not at the whim of fate.  It appears or strays according to your own choices.

Let go of your fear of the unkownLet Go

People do all sorts of things to make it seem like they control life.  We create strict schedules for our days and manipulate people and events to control outcomes.  These things never seem to work out in the end as we would like.

Often, the things we do to control life shield us from new and exciting experiences, and when it comes to business manipulating others leads to a poor working environment. Letting go of the need to control everything and understanding that it is impossible to do anyway is a step in a positive direction. You are just one person in the world with your thoughts, insights, and needs. Let others have theirs. You can only control your reaction to events as they unfold.

Make your plans to the best of your ability and allow things to unfold. The people you are with may surprise you with much more than you ever thought possible. Or perhaps with much less than you would hope. But either way, there is a lesson in it for you.

Not Knowing Lets You Grow

Being grateful for the things you don’t know is intelligent because it allows you to experience something beyond your scope of reality.   Most people would never stretch themselves beyond what they already know if they didn’t have to.

It is very comfortable to sit in your life, where you seem to know everything you need to be safe and feel in control.  Yet, there is the world out there that may require you to stretch outside of that comfort zone to contribute what you are meant to give to its well-being.  The Unknown Provides this.  Once a new experience comes to you, you have to experience growth to deal with it regardless of its nature.  If you stop growing, you will be moving in the other direction.  Nobody stays the same.

I choose to accept the unknown of each day as a part of life that was sent to teach me what I need to know to grow.   So today, I am grateful for the things I don’t know and hope I dare to deal with them as the experience of life unfolds.

Don’t let fear run your life. Be the captain of your destiny. 

“The unknown always passes for the marvelous.” Anonymous

“Replace the fear of the unknown with curiosity.” Anonymous

“Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.” Anonymous

“Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.” Julien Smith

“We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we project onto the unknown.” Teal Swan

“A hero is somebody who voluntarily walks into the unknown.” Tom Hanks

“Awaken your mind to the unknown.” ATGW

 

Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Positive Thinking