Monthly Archives: April 2021

21

Choices

Leave a comment

“At some point in our life, everyone must decide if they are a creator or a critic, a lover or a hater, a giver or a taker.” ~ Unknown

the choices are all yours
Choose wisely

Life is a short ride, and the decisions we make each day determine if that ride is a thrilling experience that makes you hold your breath or if it is a calm walk through the park.

The choices we make every day will determine the tone, happiness, and satisfaction we get out of life. Choose well.

Critic or Creator

It is an easy choice to become a critic of anybody or anything. It is my experience that a person who will be critical of how one person lives, or the things they do, will quickly decide it is their duty to point out the parts of your life worth criticizing.

Since being critical is almost always a window into a person’s own feelings of inadequacy, it is often helpful to listen to a critic, if only to understand what they lack in their own life.

The other choice here is to be a creator of things and focus on what you can add to the world rather than what is wrong with everyone else. Creation is the best way to connect to your true self and understand who your authentic self is.  Creativity in all forms is a magical thing and to be a creator is to bring more light into the world. Imagine your thoughts, ideas and creations will never be brought to light unless you do it yourself.

Many people find it easier to critique because they are afraid to create fear of what someone else might say.  I urge you to create! You are a master at whatever you do.  Pay as much attention to someone being critical as you would to a mosquito buzzing by your ear on a summer’s day, insignificant to the enjoyment of your life.

A Lover or a Hater

Love or hate, its your choice
simple choice. You are never too young or old to make

This is the simplest choice that everyone faces every day.  When you look at someone or something, you have the option to love what they are or what it is you are looking at, or you can choose to hate them or it.

People bring their hate onto others for so many silly reasons, their race, religion, sexual orientation, or even what part of the world they are from.  It is just as easy to find a reason to love someone to find a reason to hate them.

Once you choose to head in one direction, most often, you are going to continue down this road, always finding more and more reasons to hate people and things.   One person who hates one ethnic group will often easily add several others quickly to their list of undesirables for no apparent reason.

The good news is the choice to love is also one that will grow the more that you use it.  Not everyone will be exactly like you, but everyone is a human being living on the face of the earth.  Hating someone or loving them is really an example of how you feel about yourself, and when you realize this, you will be less than eager to dish out hate.

Every person is born with unlimited potential, and you may be the fuel that allows someone to realize their talents. It doesn’t matter where someone is from, the religion they practice, the color of their skin, or anything else. We are all spiritual souls having a human experience.

The choice to love is easy and takes no more effort than hate does.  It is simply a frame of mind.  As time goes by, situations arise, and you may feel wronged or unfairly criticized, but when you look at situations from a large perspective, ask yourself: “Is it really worth it?”

Some people I know will swear that it is. Some have gotten over their hurt and see it wasn’t.  I think that if people understand that their feelings are a choice, they are the person they have chosen to be. I am happy for them.

Givers or takers

There is a symbiotic relationship that exists between everyone, and there are those that are

giver or takere
Gratitude is the key to this transaction in both directions, givers and those that are takers, and we make the choice which one we are.  Most of us will be on both ends of this spectrum at one time or another, as I have.

The secret to giving is that you are really giving a gift to yourself every time you do it.  If your intent is true and to give something to another, you will receive as much back or more.  That is how it works.   Some of the greatest givers I have known were not rich people financially, but they were quite rich in their souls.

I have been fortunate to know many people who would gladly share their last dollar or meal with you if you needed it.

They did this cheerfully and with no expectation of repayment.  My personal gratitude for these gifts is immense, and I understand how lucky I was to receive them.  I, in turn, try to live the same way, being a cheerful giver when I can.

When the taker of a gift or help doesn’t see the gift with gratitude that problems arise, many now are given help from others and are not grateful but feel it is an entitlement or an expected part of living.

These people will never continue giving, only looking for more of a gift from others, never being satisfied, or looking for a way to give back.  Nobody should be too proud to accept help or forget what it feels like to need.  Heartfelt gratitude is the key, on the one side, for the gift you have received and the fact that you have enough to give.

What Do You Choose?

Who do you want to be in your life? What do you want people to remember about you? All of this is totally in the hands of the decisions you make each day.

 

21

Fears

Leave a comment
Moving past our fears
Everyone Experiences Fear

So you have a goal in mind, and you feel it just might be your passion. It is right there in front of you like the low-hanging fruit on a tree. All you have to do is reach out and pluck it, and it is yours.

Yet you don’t reach. You stand or sit and watch the fruit as it hangs there, tantalizing your senses.  It is often fear that stops us from following our passions, and for me, I have often found fear to be a huge barrier to doing what I want.  What is it that I am afraid of?

What If I Fail?

I think that we all have this fear in our minds to some degree.  Being successful is ingrained into our consciousness from the first days we begin school.  So failure is looked at as something undesirable. Our education system teaches this as a rote fact.

Yet when you analyze it, really, it is just one of the many possible outcomes of trying.  All great discoveries and people became geniuses to the world as they stood on the heap that was Moving Past the Feartheir previous failure.  Failure is not fatal; it isn’t even detrimental to accomplishment.  So often, we need one more piece of the puzzle to reach a new height, and you can often learn what that is through the experience of failure.

Sometimes we fail, but the choice of how you deal with that is always up to you.  You can quit, roll up in the fetal position, and rock slowly, asking yourself: Why? Or you can analyze the failure and see the shortcomings of whatever you have done, correct them, and try again and again if necessary.

I have been paralyzed by fear before, and in hindsight, it always makes you feel foolish.  Find the encouragement you need to keep going, your friends, your family in the books you read, or whatever you come in contact with daily.  Don’t let this fear stop you. Fear is nothing but a thought. You don’t have to pay attention to it.

What If I Succeed?

As strange as it sounds, I have been hurt by a fear of success.  How can I be afraid of

moving past failure
Moving past failure

succeeding?  Well, surely you have not met me.  The human mind seems to be great at creating problems where none really exist.  My mind is an expert at this.

Perhaps it is the egoic ramblings of my conscious mind that worries that if things go too well for me, something bad will clearly be followed soon.  This fear of Karmic retribution can sometimes make you want to keep things as “even Stephen” as possible.  Never reaching too high to avoid falling to a scary low that perhaps you might not want to experience.

This is the worst of all fear because it is stopping you from reaching your limits.  All of us will have experiences in life, and one of them should be reaching our potential in any given area of interest, especially if it is doing something that we are passionate about.

Put this fear to bed by understanding that life is full of ups and downs, and no matter what you do, no matter how even-keeled you try to stay, there will still be setbacks.  Being great at something will not result in a punishment later unless you choose to create one. Fear is only a thought in your mind that you choose to pay attention to.

What Will Everyone Say?

For me, this is the biggest fear there is.  Perhaps it was a childhood weakness, or maybe it was high school trauma, but for whatever reason, I have been deathly afraid of what other.

Moving Past the Fear
What do they think about me?

People might think of my actions.

The foolishness of this fear really jumps out at me as I write these words because the only person who is hurt by this type of phobia is definitely me.  Let me share my anti-fear recipe here.  First of all, what other people think is their problem, not mine.

Secondly, any bad thoughts that someone has about you are often due to their own inadequacies and fear, not yours. Other people are always mirroring into your soul. What you see in others often exists within you.

Thirdly, what you think they think is most often not accurate anyway.  This is because it is most often my ego that produces these thoughts of someone else.  Really they are your own perceived weaknesses projected onto someone else.  When you think about it that way, you can see it makes no sense to be afraid.  Fear is a thought in your mind.

Escaping Fear

In the end, the scary thing is that we all are going to face fear, and it is most likely going to happen every day, whether we like it or not.  It is in how we deal with the presence of fear that our lives will be defined.  Will I shrink from the negative thoughts that fear creates? Or will I rise above it and start to pay attention to more positive forces in life.

I think most people who can achieve their dreams can look fear in the eye, recognize it for what it is, and move on with their actions anyway, which take them to the finish line.  Fear is nothing more than a thought, and that is it.

Fear is not a real tangible thing unless we allow it to become that through our inaction.  

 

21

Improve

Leave a comment

Improvement and growth are what life is about.  I try to be a little bit better today than I was yesterday. The great thing about this is there are literally thousands of ways improvement came come. I focus on the big categories of life, spiritual, mental, and physical. Still, there are specific things each day you can focus on to improve your energy, productivity, and enjoyment of life.  Today there are three that I am focusing on just because I came across them in my notebook.

Enjoying Life

There are days when everything flows perfectly, just as you want it to. But other days are not so fluid. Often we blame the weather, other people, or life in general for the problems.  The enjoyment you get out of life is never from how smooth things go but how you react to them.  Each moment has good things in it, and if you can avoid attachment to a certain outcome, then all results become something you can enjoy.  We are not all-powerful gods, and occasionally things out of our element are going to happen.  Learn to roll with it.

This means I am focusing on enjoying the rain and the sun, the cool and the heat, the love, and the anger. It is all there, so it must be there for a reason. Those who judge me are there to remind me not to be judgmental. Those who love me are there to remind me to love others. There are just too many good things and experiences in life to focus on the bad ones.  I am working on enjoying life and all of its experiences. It is a short ride, after all.

Improve Relationships

Relationships with others are the way we get our bearings about ourselves. I am fortunate to have great relationships with special people, but there is always room for improvement in all of them. I want to get better at making sure that those I love know it and understand how much they mean to me.  In a relationship, there are two parts, yours and theirs. Allowing them to grow and for you to grow as well is a good thing. I am looking for new ways of appreciation and love. 

I am fortunate to have been in relationships where we embraced new things all the time and tried fun things together. It is fun and allows us to experience life on a level of adventure, which is fun and exciting.  I want to make sure that I never take that for granted and continue to enjoy all the things we do which are new and interesting. I have a suitcase of memories, but I want to fill a large storage building with them.  So I want to continue to improve in enjoying all relationships and all the things that are unique about others. People enter your life for a reason, and most often, it is to teach you something. There are a rare few that stay for the duration, and those are the ones that teach, allow us to teach them, and learn together with you. Improving yourself and your life.

Move Away From Worry and Fear

This is a broad range of topics for how I look at others and life in general. It can be difficult to keep an even keel and see the good in all people when they do such a good job of hiding it. But look, and you will find it and see it.  Much of my mindset is positive, but I am not perfect and have moments of poor quality thinking.  Sometimes fear creeps in and makes you look at people harshly.  Worry and fear are a combination we all face daily. We are afraid people won’t meet our needs in some way. What is anger but a loud alert to the world we are afraid of not having our needs recognized or met?  Worry is the same, and we create grand scenarios in our minds that will never happen and give them our attention. Even though it is only misplaced imagination, the stress you feel is real, and that releases hormones into your system, which are detrimental to your health.

To lessen the effects of fear or worry, it takes an active consciousness.  I am endeavoring to be aware of my thoughts and their resulting feelings.  Determining if they are something I should really be afraid of or if it is just a figment of my imagination created by misguided thought? Most people never look at their thoughts in any real constructive way. That makes you a slave to any thought that pops into your head.  We think we react to, and thoughts of fear and worry are prevalent in our lives because we are inundated with messages of fear through the media and society in general. My goal is to remember that love is greater than fear, and it is always a choice. I can’t control how others live their lives, but I can improve how I experience mine.

So that is it, I will endeavor to become a better person today than I was yesterday!! I will enjoy life more, value my relationships and improve them, and move away from worry and fear towards love.  How about you?

“The health of your brain is much more about your actions than your age.” —Dr. Daniel Amen

“You’re either green and growing, or you’re ripe and rotting.” —John Addison

“Growth is actually contagious, so if you want to reach your goals, you’ve got to get around people who are going in the same direction you want to be going, and you will catch the success.” —Dr. Henry Cloud

“Beginning today, set an intention and a relentless focus on living your life as the greatest person you can be, in all situations.” —Brendon Burchard

“When you are at that intersection in the road, and you’ve got two paths to go down, because of the impact of certain people in your life, you’re able to choose the right path.” —Jason Witten

21

Rain

Leave a comment

“Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.”

Rain is an inevitable part of your life, and it doesn’t matter where you live. If you live in a tropical climate, you probably experience a rainy season and devise ways to deal with it.  If you live in a desert, you probably dream about what it would be like to be drenched in the rain. Wherever you live, the rain will have a symbolic or emotional meaning to you.  Personally, I have developed an appreciation for the rain I experienced in my life, and it has been there clearly in the background.  Watching the gentle rainfall on a calm lake in summer. Each drop forming soft circles of impact and a soothing sound of comfort and peace. Rain is a symbol of rejuvenation and cleansing. All lives need this from time to time.  There has been a lot of rain in my life.

The Soft-Spoken Rain

rain 2I love the rain when it falls outside, on a warm spring, summer, or fall night. Lightly dancing its tap dance on the roof and reminding me just how lucky I am to be sitting inside.  Rain is also great for sleeping as well, the sound of rain hitting the ground is one of the most soothing sounds you can listen to.  Torrents of peace flowing out of the sky, landing softly on the grass for you to enjoy.  As you drop off to sleep, there is no thought or thankfulness for the rain, just an inner warmth or affection for warm blankets and the soft-spoken rain.

In my youth, I would look forward to the summer nights when the rain would fall and tap out its unique, soothing song on the roof. Always different, always wild, taking me to calmness and the gentle arms of rest and rejuvenation. No song has ever been as soothing and as sweet as the whispers of that rain, singing me to sleep.

The Cleansing of Rain

rain 4Sometimes, it seems that no matter what kind of mistake you have made in your past, the falling of rain from the sky can provide you with the solace that whatever you have done is not permanent but a passing part of life.  Mistakes are not meant to be tattooed on your skin, and they are meant to be temporary teaching moments.  Rain allows nature to wash clean, and just as the rain changes nature, so are we.  The coming of the rain hastens to heal the scars that lie underneath, and it will allow you to refresh your soul and start again.

The Sad Rain

rain 3There is a bit of retrospection that the rain can bring on. It is only natural to remember moments of bliss, love, and affection that we once created during the rain.  Those moments as miraculous as they were, are now gone. Remembering these lost times is always a bitter-sweet moment. It is better to have experienced those times and the clarity and emotion of the experience.

Yet, there is a wistful realization in the rain that just like each drop is unique and falls only once, those moments were the same. You will never get them back, and that is at the root of the morose pall that surrounds the rain. You would think people would want to avoid this, but really most want to remember and relive those perfect times regardless of the pain they cause.

Here Comes The Rain

No matter what we do in our life, there is going to be rain. You will always have the choice to love it for the benefits it brings, eventually ending and leaving for the sun. Or you can choose to hate it as a nuisance, a pestilence that brings nothing but cold, wet, and muddy weather.  The choice of how you feel about the rain is all up to you.  Dread it, love it, praise it, hate it the rain doesn’t care what you think it is going to continue to fall.  It’s up to us whether we get wet or use an umbrella.

“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.”- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

“Do not be angry with the rain; it simply does not know how to fall upwards.”-Vladimir Nabokov.

“The rain began again. It fell heavily, easily, with no meaning or intention but the fulfillment of its own nature, which was to fall and fall.”-Helen Garner.

 

21

Kindergarten Lessons

Leave a comment

As I move through any day, I am bound to encounter all sorts of behavior, some of it positive and hopeful and some selfish, mean, or hurtful. It always makes me remember that the world would be a much better place if people remember what they learned in Kindergarten and live by them.  For me, Kindergarten happened a very long time ago. Still, I remember the basic lessons I learned and how practicing them today allows my work and personal life to be a much more positive experience. I challenge you to put your own 5-year-old vision on your behavior and experiences and see how you are doing your own behavior and decisions.  The world seems full of people who have forgotten; I am writing this to remind you.

Be Kind

One of the first lessons I learned was that you should be kind to other people. Even though we are all individuals sitting on a mat on the floor, we are all a part of the same society, and we can either make that society better or worse by

kindergarten kindness
In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

practicing kindness or not.  That is a choice, and I learned how good it felt to be kind and to have kindness practiced toward me.

I think that all of those little people I was in class with all felt the same.  The world could use a little of this focus as most people have decided to split the world into an “us” vs. “them” situation.  Even though what constitutes each side differs from the individual, there are too many examples of how poorly we treat each other because of the perception of a difference.  What stops people from seeing the opportunity to practice kindness and understanding rather than anger, fear, and contempt?

Share and Cooperate

Most people seem to be on a mission to collect all the “stuff” they can in life as if the things we possess define who we are.  I don’t remember specifically what the toys were in the kindergarten room I attended, but I do know I learned to share them with my classmates and found that playing with others was far more fun

Sharing is cool!

and enjoyable than having a toy all to yourself.

In fact, when the whole group played a game together, it was the most fun of all.  You didn’t have to be the most athletic or smartest, you just had to try, and the group accepted that effort. If you didn’t, our teacher’s kind and gentle guidance would guide us back to a positive place.  I go to a gym most days and see many people there, most practice cooperation and understand that you need to share equipment and wait your turn for some things.  Some obviously have never understood the concept of being considerate of others.  I find myself wanting to explain to them in clear terms about the concepts of sharing, taking turns, and empathetic to others.  Though if they have come this far in life being self-centered and insensitive, their life experience made them forget kindergarten lessons. I feel sorry for them. Life must have been very difficult for them indeed.

Take Turns and Work Together

When you are five years old, your problems are far less complex than as an adult; however, dealing with a challenge is a skill that will determine the success or failure of many ventures.  Everything in the kindergarten classroom was designed to build this concept in each of us. We took turns being first in line to maneuver around the school. We took turns doing daily chores.  We shared cleaning

One of my favorite toys when I was 5. I would share it with you for sure.

responsibilities and we did them together.

I encounter many people today in all areas of life who seem to have concern only for themselves, their experiences, and that everyone does things their way or wrong.  At the highest levels of government, this seems to be the norm in the United States today.  Rather than cooperate for the good of all people, politicians are more concerned with being “right” rather than doing what is clearly right. What is right are the things that help people live a healthy, happy, and safe life. Kindergarten teaches this; unfortunately, as life has given us challenges, we have been hurt and turned away from these positive lessons and moved toward the perceived safety of isolation.

What You Can Control

One of my favorite activities during the day in kindergarten that I remember is the weatherboard. We would sit in front of a felt

Weather time!!

board with two images on it, and our wonderful teacher would call on us and allow us to put a piece of clothing that would be appropriate for the weather on that day.  Growing up in Greenville, Maine, there were many winter jackets, hats, and mittens.  It taught you to dress for the weather and that some things in the world are out of your control.

Even though there are things that are out of our control, we have the ability to react to these things any way we choose. We can be angry about it, or sad, or happy, but no matter how we choose to feel, the weather was still cold, or rainy or snowy, or not snowy enough.  What we can do is dress appropriately and do the best we can.  It is a lesson that I have needed to remember throughout my life.  Things happen which I can’t control, and all I can do is react in a way that will be true to who I am.  If you can master this skill, then you will enjoy your life a lot more.  Too often, we spend too much time complaining about the weather rather than reacting positively to the weather and all things that are happening out of our control.

In the End

Kindergarten is a year in your life usually happening when you are five years old, and if you paid attention, the lessons there could guide you through life.  The developmentally appropriate

I am not sure who’s kindergarten class this was but I hope they paid attention.

learning is designed to allow a child to build social and academic skills which will allow them to fit into the school system.  My challenge to you is when you move through your day, encounter the people you do, and experience things of all kinds. Regardless of your current age, you remember what you learned all those years ago in kindergarten and practice it with everyone you come in contact with.  Be kind when you can, share and work together,  enjoy the people in your life and understand letting things you can not control determine your mood is unhealthy.  Most of all, if you remember your kindergarten lessons, you will have a much happier life and be a better person.

“The Universe is one great kindergarten for man. Everything that exists has brought with it its own peculiar lesson.”- Orison Swett Marden

“The kindergarten children are confident in spirit, infinite in resources, and eager to learn. Everything is still possible.” Robert Fulghum

 

21

Time To Be Happy

Leave a comment

Do you catch yourself looking at life and saying, “I will be happy when I have accomplished this, or when that happens?” This is a common mistake of focus many people seem to make. When you postpone your happiness to another moment, you are possibly giving it away forever.  There are no guarantees in the future, and if you can’t feel happy now at this moment, what makes you think tomorrow will be any different.  As I see it, the key is to find happiness in whatever you are doing right now.  There is always something that can provide the spark of joy to your life. All you have to do is learn how to notice it, and the rest will take care of itself.

Backward Thoughts of Success

We have received some bad information from the influencers in our lives, and it isn’t their fault because they were taught the same faulty information. We were told we would be happy if we gained an education. Then we were told we would be happy if we moved to a promising career that provided good pay and security in life. Then we’re told we would be happy once we had a family and started to raise the next generation.  Then it is a looking forward to retirement and the happiness that waited there.  All of these things can be great, and you can be happy experiencing any of them, but if you wait for happiness to come, you will most likely never find it.

Happiness comes in all moments and is available to each of us at all times. It is up to you to focus on it and away from the things causing you not to enjoy the day. Many things connect you to the now and the joy that exists there. Focus your mind on something natural, the sky, a flower, birds flying around, or anything else that resonates with you. Each of these things connects you to the source of all this and will calm your mind and ease your thoughts if you let it.  Spend time counting the good things in your life. Please take a moment and appreciate each one as you think of them. The human mind can only hold one thought at a time. Thinking of positive things picks up your mood, makes you grateful, and allows you to look past the bad.

Choose It

If you are looking at your life and are not happy with one aspect or two or the whole thing, then it is time to look in the mirror and make a conscious decision to move in another direction.  You have the ultimate control over the people you spend time with, the job you work, and the activities you take part in.  Happiness is available to you at any moment you decide to take part in it. There are many different things you can do to bring on happiness, and here are just a few–

*Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself— It is easy to get into a rut of self-pity about where you are at and what is happening to you at this moment. Let go of these feelings and move on to something more positive. It is unproductive and unhealthy to wallow in self-pity. Happiness will come when you leave it behind, and focus on what is good in your life and be happier.

*Be Kind— It is simple but bringing kindness and joy into the lives of others brings it into your life as well. It is simple and easy, there are thousands of opportunities every day to be kind to someone, and it doesn’t cost you a cent.  Many people pay for tolls or coffee’s, but a kind word costs nothing. Practice kindness and be happy.

*Appreciate both sides— There are two sides to every story. Sunshine and rain, darkness and light, laughter and tears, fast and slow, all of these are going to have their moments.  Practice enjoying them all. The warm weather isn’t as good if you haven’t had the cold weather to compare it to. Enjoy it all and be happier.

*Accept What Is— It is impossible and unhealthy to try to control everything in life. Not only will you fail, but you will be spending a lot of time in worry and angst that could be better spent enjoying what is in your life right now. Accept people for who they are, and do your best with the situations you are facing.  Resistance to what is will cause misery.  Accept what is and experience happiness.

*Say Yes More— Rather than dismiss things on automatic pilot, say yes to new things, activities or places.  Saying yes opens you up and of course, saying no closes you down. As long as it is inside your moral compass, saying yes will expand your horizons and bring new experiences and things into your life and be happier.

*Exercise— The simple act of walking regularly will improve your physical stamina and your mental outlook as well. God built the human body to move, and that movement brings positive emotions and thoughts into your life. When you feel better physically, you think better about yourself and the world.  Running, walking, lifting, martial arts, yoga, aerobics classes, biking, or whatever resonates with you will do. More exercise and you will have more happiness.

*Dream— You should always be working on a dream of some kind. Dreams give you a focus and make life enjoyable. Not only the achievement of the dream but the steps along the way to that goal. Many people have their life planned out to a point and then stop thinking there is more to accomplish. There is always something to work for and achieve. Dream more in your personal and professional life and find more happiness.

Happiness Quotes

“We don’t laugh because we’re happy – we’re happy because we laugh.”   William James

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.”   Elbert Hubbard

“Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.”   Ludwig Jacobowski

“Now and then, it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.”  Guillaume Apollinaire

“Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness.” Frank Tyger

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” Mahatma Gandhi

21

Sorry

Leave a comment

Sorry- feeling distressed, especially through sympathy with someone else’s misfortune.

sorry
In the game we played as kids, some never learn the value of the word sorry.

Life is a continual path of choices. Each person will make many choices every day, from when to get up in the morning to what they eat that day.  As we move along that path, there will be opportunities to do good things or bad things. To choose to be kind and considerate of others or to make decisions with our own self-interest at heart. All people are going to make decisions they are not proud of at some point. It is part of being human.  Recognizing the wrong you perceive is difficult, but we all have the power to make it right. Say, “I’m sorry.”  This is the first step in making things right for you.  It all starts with a conscious awareness of the things you have done and do which actually cause harm to others.  Your thoughts will reveal your emotions about the things you have done, the words you have or have not used because of them, and the actions you have or have not taken.  I’m sorry is an important place to start when building understanding.

Sorry About My Pride

Pride is a feeling we all have, and it can be a positive thing, but sometimes we let it get in the way.  There are people out there with such fragile egos Im sorrythat admitting they made even the tiniest of mistakes is a threat to their whole identity.  Don’t be one of these people.  It is your ego, or your false self, speaking these words.  Never be too proud to say you are sorry.

Good people make bad choices all the time. That is a part of the process of life called learning.  Be conscious of your choices and the way they affect other people.  Seeing that your decision hurts someone else isn’t an indictment of you and your character. It is a recognition of humanity in someone else.  I’m sorry is a way to state express your understanding of the pain in another person.  You see them, understand them, and will try to help them.  It is a simple matter of putting someone else’s well-being ahead of your own.  It costs nothing, so don’t be too proud to use this phrase.

How Can I Make It Right

Along with the honest sentiment of being sorry for your choice or action, the question should be; How can I make it right?  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, and we learn this from physics. It is true in other Sorryparts of life too.  Hopefully, when you have hurt someone or made a poor choice, there is a way to make it right. Even the worst of behaviors can be atoned for in some way.  It starts by taking responsibility for yourself and your behavior and working toward doing what is right.

Most often, the thing to do is to stop doing the thing that is hurting someone else. That is the moment of choice because either you will put someone else ahead of yourself or are not.  I’m sorry it loses its power if clearly, you are not sorry enough to change your behavior. If you are the source of someone’s misfortune, then show your contrition by stopping that behavior. Stop making the same mistake over and over again. Use them to discover how to live a better life.

Sorry Doesn’t Fix Everything.

Simply saying that you are sorry doesn’t fix everything, and even bargaining a manner to make things right might not do the trick. Having feelings about remorse in the way you treated someone is the first step in your humanity.  And who says it is your job to fix everything.  We can do the only thing to try to become a little bit better a person than we were yesterday. To leave a little more joy in the world and less anger and pain.  To understand where you were wrong, the mistakes you made, intentional or unintentional, and sorry for them.  You can’t control the reactions of others, and who is to say what their emotional state is?  You are responsible for your actions and the footprint that leaves in the world.  This mark begins by being more conscious of your thoughts, emotions, words, and actions today and taking responsibility for feeling and saying you are sorry when you are wrong.

“If we have made an error, done a wrong, been unjust to another or ourselves, or, like the Pharisee, passed by some opportunity for good, we should have the courage to face our mistake squarely, to call it boldly by its right name, to acknowledge it frankly and to put in no flimsy alibis of an excuse to protect an anemic self-esteem.” – William George Jordan.

“An apology is a good way to have the last word.”-Unknown

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”-Paul Boese 

 

21

New Tricks

Leave a comment

doggieWe all know the old saying about not being able to teach an old dog new tricks, but I am here to tell you that an old dog may, in fact, be taught new tricks, sometimes the method of the lesson need to change, but the lessons can be learned. Sometimes it takes a painful experience and others just an open mind, but this old dog has learned many new tricks, and I continue to learn them every day. With each new morsel of knowledge, there is excitement for some new understanding and some regret for not figuring these things out a lot earlier in life. But we are all developing and need to be patient with ourselves and our abilities.  To learn is one of the great things about being a human being living free on the face of the Earth.

Learning is your responsibility.

Learning new things and taking in fresh information is one of the parts of living life that make it interesting. Show me canstock22929502the person who thinks he knows it all, and I will show you a person with no clue about life.

Each day, there are new things to think about, learn about and do that there is no way one person could ever complete, learn or participate in all of the learning opportunities present themselves. The only thing stopping one person from having more knowledge today than they had yesterday is their own mental limit on that desire. Choosing not to practice home learning.

The curiosity that we all innately experience is usually enough to push us in the direction of learning something new.  All you need to do is have thought and expose yourself to the ideas and experiences around that thought. The natural growth of the mind will take over from there, and personal growth will inevitably occur.

New Ideas Are Everywhere

xxx
Follow Your Passion!

If you are looking for a new idea, all you have to do is meet a new person, open a new book, read a news article online, or stop at a location you have never been to before.

Look at things, and observe their attributes. What questions come to mind?  Being inquisitive is the fuel that will lead you to search for answers.  It is the fire to overcome your ignorance and comfort and reach out to new people and investigate new thoughts.

It doesn’t mean you disregard everything you have ever known or done, there are great building blocks in everyone and everything, but it does mean that you shouldn’t be afraid to question what you know and look to test that knowledge.  Don’t be afraid to grow, and it is what you were meant to do.

Seek Your Purpose in Life

What direction should your inquisitiveness lead you? In the direction that excites you.  I think we all have an internal tracking device inside to help guide us toward the things that keytolifelonglearning1make us happy.

If you see something and you are excited about it, that is a loud calling card for you to pursue.  In some form or fashion, you should learn about that thing.  Passion is nothing more than high-octane fuel for your ability to learn. If it is passionate about creating with wood, then create with wood.  If it is painting, then learn to paint.

If writing is your passion, then write and don’t care what anyone thinks about the thoughts you create.  Do what you are passionate about, and you will not only be successful, but you will enjoy life a lot more too. Seek your purpose in life at every opportunity.

You’re The Best Around, Push Yourself

This can be the most difficult thing to do because as we grow older, we become settled in our ways.  The comfort of routine takes over our lives until we get to the point you rely on the

Learn Something new, and you will become a new person.
Learn Something New, and you will become a new person.

Consistency to have life make sense.

To push yourself, you are going to have to step out of your routine.  No matter how old you are, it is possible to change your course, try something new, drive in a new direction, or just be yourself.

The limits of your ability are certainly never going to be tested if you follow the safe and well-trodden path that routine actions provide.  Step out of it, try new things, travel, meditate, read books of philosophy!  Try yoga!  Push yourself to go to places in the world and your mind that you never dreamed existed.

Learn, Learn, Learn

Learning is a life long advernture!
Learning is a lifelong adventure!

There is no way that I can express in words the excitement that learning something totally new can provide.  There is a question in your mind; you search for an answer, that question eventually will have an answer.

Then it will be replaced by another question.  Don’t ever stop answering those questions. Learn with all that you have.  You will never know everything, but if you stop looking, death will not be far away.

Learn what you can, discuss it with who will listen, and ask those who have more knowledge.  Using this model, there is absolutely nothing you can’t learn and nothing you can’t accomplish.  

21

What If

Leave a comment

What If…….

what-ifThere are questions we ask ourselves all of our lives that can haunt us if we let them. What if that decision was wrong? What if I shouldn’t have done that? What if I had tried out for the chess team in high school? What if I said yes?

There are a million of these questions that can consume your time. Still, they don’t add up to anything in the end because the fact is whatever you are “what if-ing” about didn’t happen, will never happen, and so should concern you about as much as what the weather was in Borneo in the year 1656.

There are many other what-ifs you can worry about that could make a difference in the world, and I think I would instead focus on those.

What if ………..

kind wordsOne kind word from you could make someone else’s day or even save their life. You never know the storm that is brewing underneath the surface of anyone.

Their surface smile could be hiding a storm of emotions below.  One kind word or gesture could be the human contact they needed to keep moving forward. There are many words we let slide with no thought or regard for their destination and potential impact. Speak as if your words could save a life. What if that were so?

What if………….

gratefulInstead of thinking about the things we don’t have, we spent time being grateful for the things we do have. I have seen people make gratitude lists, and it changes the way they look at the world. Gratitude has the power to transform the way you feel about things.

They do not have to be monumental, giant things, be thankful for the little things.  Being alive, a peanut butter sandwich, coffee, or whatever little things bring you comfort and joy throughout your day.  In most philosophies, gratitude is the key to abundance. What if we all were a bit more grateful?

What if………….

Bring down the barriers that enslave us all freedom is priceless to all creaturesThere were no separations between people. That means that nobody grouped anybody. Instead of being sectioned off because of your age, nationality, economic status, or color of your skin, recognize we are all members of one group, human beings.

When you look for differences among people, you find separation. Separation is the first step toward discrimination because it creates us vs. them mentality. The smaller the circle of us becomes, the more likely we are to have a problem.

This is true for any conflict of every size, including the race riots of the 1960s to economic conflicts of today. What if there were no separations between people, just people?

What if………….

governmentThe people who were elected to represent the people represented the well-being of the people.  In the United States, the government and big business have become synonymous in a definition.

What if that wasn’t the case, and they were focused on helping people who live here as much as they are concerned about helping themselves.

Should any person in our country be hungry? Should any person have to fear suffering from domestic violence? Is there any good reason that the educational system is broken beyond repair? Children treated with kindness and hope would change the world.   What if we had a representative government that represented the people and not big business?

What if………..

urlPeople spent more time using the most potent force in the universe, love. Instead of choosing to participate in activities like gossip, discrimination, judgments of others, or worrying about what is in it for me?  Imagine spending their time focusing on understanding, kindness, acceptance, and what they can do for others.

How different would the lives of every person be if they spent all of their effort on spreading loving-kindness? Hatred can only be defeated by love, not more hate. What if people spent more time thinking and acting with respect?

What if it is a question that we can ask all of the time? Some inquiries can be used to hold us back or be used as a catalyst to find the best in ourselves and others.  

 

 

 

21

Contrast

Leave a comment
You can hide the true emotion behind the Black and White. Happy or sad or both?

It would be nice if life were a series of clear, clean, and easy choices.  That all decisions fell in the clear understanding of this side or that. Where my choices were simplified to the very essence of black and white with no other variance or color to consider, as much as I see the value of these two choices, I know there are many different hues and shades out there and all sorts of gray that exist along the lines of even the seemingly most simple choices.  Still, it is a positive thing to see, understand and appreciate the contrast these two colors bring to life make each better.  Black and white have both symbolic and real influences on thought and art. Allowing something to be highlighted, enjoyed, understood, and allow our ideas to be shared with the world.  When you look at the simplicity of the black and white world, it is a very complex thing.

Not Colors At All

When you use black and white, they officially are not colors, which eliminates any of the emotion that comes with color.  This lack of emotion is comforting to others, and it explains the beauty of the image of black and white.  Black absorbs all other colors.  I look inside myself and see the black can cover everything, never allowing anything else to have a realistic opportunity to affect my life positively. The

This flock is flying, but what type of bird it is can’t clearly be known; it is no bird and all birds simultaneously.

Bright thoughts and actions I could take will be swallowed up by the dark and leave no expression other than that.

The white is an absence of color.  It makes your life bland, never allowing any other colors to appear because they would define you and express yourself clearly so all could see who you are and what you stand for.  This is an uncomfortable place because you lose your sense of self when all of your thoughts, emotions, and activities are clear for the world to see. It is an uncomfortable feeling to have yourself thrown open wide to the world, and there is no place to hide, no retreat from the field of white. We all need a piece of ourselves to stay ours and ours alone.

The Dance of Contrast

Only through the cooperation of the black and white inside of us can we comfortably display our inner selves to the world.  There is safety that exists inside this contrast.  Lines are clear and allow subtle lines to stand out and scream their expressions loudly. There is a comfort in this too many because there is a clear

Finding our own balance in this dance is difficult sometimes.

statement about what something means if you look closely, but there is still an absence of color and something with the power to absorb all color right in front of you.  These forces working together provide a pallet that can still have thoughts and emotions clearly on display and keep them hidden in plain sight.

This dance of contrast provides some with the freedom to live their lives but never have to admit the colors inside, and there is still plausible deniability.  Those who can create this dance are amazing as you look at the images and see the lines between black and white. On the surface, it seems a simple contrast that allows the best of each part of the image to show through clearly. But that is only on a quick look. Take a little longer to look, and you see that those lines between the two are not as clear as you would believe.  The contact of white and black creates a grey, and it is in the grey we are all defined.

Definitions of Ourselves

The battle of black and white takes place within each of us. Nobody is completely “good” or “bad,” for lack of better words.  We are all capable of great good and positive things with an equal ability to crate pain and to create havoc in our lives and the lives of others.  It is the basic struggle of humanity to allow the best parts of

Know your dark side

us to shine and bring brightness to the world, but the good would have no real meaning without the darkness. Because the struggle between the two provides the value of whatever results.

To those who never contemplate the black inside, placing it in clear contrast to the white, there is no real understanding of who you are and what will make you happy, and the reasons for this happiness.  If you have never seen your dark side, you will never know what you have had to overcome. Also, there is a lack of empathy for others who lost their battle with the darkness.  I have learned that no matter how dark, there is still a light existing with a desire to rise back to the surface.  Sometimes all people need is an opportunity to do the right thing to redeem themselves. It is always in the gray areas where our character is truly defined and revealed to the world.

Seeking Color

I am consciously trying to put the darkness of my thoughts and feelings forward because they are a part of me, just as yours are a part of you. But in looking at them and embracing them, I can put them behind me and take strength from them and propel my inner goodness to the front.  The contrast between black and white allows this to happen.  Through this process, all the other colors of life are allowed to rise to the surface of my existence. The reds, blues, greens, and yellows of life are then able to show their face to me, and through them comes the hope of all things.  Love, kindness, joy, fulfillment, understanding, caring all come through these colors and are valued because of the contrast from their opposite. It is all a choice for each individual to make each day. Do we move toward the white, the black, or the grey in between? That is your battle in all of your days in the world of your thoughts and your art.

  • “I’ve been forty years discovering that the queen of all colors is black.” – Henri Mattise.
  • “I think it’s because it was an emotional story, and emotions come through much stronger in black and white. Color is distracting in a way, it pleases the eye, but it doesn’t necessarily reach the heart.” – Kim Hunter.
  • “When you photograph people in color, you photograph their clothes. But when you photograph people in Black and white, you photograph their souls!”― Ted Grant.
  • “Black and white are the colors of photography. To me, they symbolize the alternatives of hope and despair to which humanity is forever subjected” – Robert Frank.
  • “What I love about Black & White photographs is that they’re more like reading the book than seeing the movie” – Jennifer Price.

Contr