Letting Go and Moving On

by Jonathan Hilton

ten quotes changeSometimes a change will come as quick as an Earthquake totally changing the landscape of your life.  Other times changes happen so slowly as to be almost imperceptible to the observer.  Yet no matter the time they take, change is constant, and powerful, like a river carves a great canyon where none existed before, change affects your life each and every day.

I say this because there have been many changes over the past year for me to absorb.  Experiencing the events happening in my life right not is the easy part, but for me to actually let all of the past go, that has been the hard part.  Yet all things do change and all things do eventually end.

Even though I know that there was an ending many years ago, I still kept a hope alive that in time there would be a reconciliation in some way.   I always wanted to make sure that I was available, should this moment arise.  This thought has been stopping me from living let-go1life to its fullest, and the change that is taking place is that it ends today.

This is no monumental feat or grand accomplishment, in fact to all other people it will mean nothing at all.  Yet to me it is the ultimate in letting go.  I have forgiven, I have understood, but I have never let go, and it is time that I did.

So when you look at the world today, looking up at the clear blue sky, or later tonight seeing the moon hanging in front of its pitch black canvas, understand that in a small way, the world is different today than it was yesterday and a very small part of that is because it was finally time to let go and say goodbye to yesterday and accept the promise of the future.

David’s Dead

Part 1

David’s Dead

The anticipation of the voice at the other end of the line was immediately crushed as I heard the words, “David’s dead”.  They were flatly spoken and yet the emotion behind them was calling for help.  I had just turned 18 and was dealing with the end of high school, baseball season, a new relationship and looking forward to the rest of my life, but the largest lesson was taught to me with those words, ringing through the telephone.  Paul was dead and my life would never be the same.

huey-lewis-and-the-news-the-power-of-love-1985-4Kristie and I had been classmates all through high school and knew each other in passing. We really didn’t have a lot in common, she was very intelligent, and I was limited in the academic performance that was expected of me.  She had just been accepted to attend Cornell University in the fall and I would be heading to a technical college.  We just traveled in different circles.  But as life will often do we noticed each other one day.  In fact one of the first things I said to her directly was to ask Kristie if she would go to the prom with me.  I was as smooth as sand paper and as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs but she said yes and that was the beginning of the most important experience in my young life.

As we spent time together it began clear to me that I must have been a total idiot to have missed this charming, beautiful and kind person for almost four years.  It was April and I was having the best conversation of my life.  It was the kind of talk that makes you not want it to end. There were no lulls and each revelation revealed was understood.  I have experienced others which were as good, but honestly none that were any better than talking to Kristie Falls in April of 1985.  I have no recollection of the topic of the conversation just that I looked into her blue eyes and was lost.  I was quickly realizing that I had never been in love before.

It wasn’t long before I was spending all of my time looking for opportunities to spend time with her and we quickly became inseparable. It was the second week of April and we were on the cusp of April vacation, the last blast of freedom before the final quick sprint to graduation and moving on with our lives. The first Saturday night of vacation was the first chance for us to get together and for us to go out with all of our friends. The culture of the time, there were parties at different places, someone’s house if their parents were gone or if not, then at a local beach, or secluded pit.  Needless to say the first Saturday of vacation was a good enough reason for most people in Maine to let loose.  And there were several different parties scheduled for that night.  I would have never imagined that the events of that evening April 13th, 1985 would be permanently embedded in my memory almost thirty years later.

This story is based on real events, the names have been changed, but the events are real. I hope you enjoy part 1.

My Favorite Posts 2013

In the spirit of being grateful and letting go for the new year, I am looking back over the year of 2013 and choosing some of my favorite posts.  It seems like many of these were written years ago not months ago but here they are.

  1. I’m Really Blue, are You?  Written to check out the colors that associate with my personality.  Fun post to write.
  2. Embrace your Inner Geek  because we are all geeks in one form or another.
  3. My Core Beliefs because I still believe in them.
  4. The Darkness in the Mirror- I look in mirrors all the time.
  5. Everything you do Matters- because it does.
  6. My Next Step– Again an interpretive drawing exercise. I remember how much fun it was to do the drawings and read the interpretations. I wanted to reread it so that I could see how close it was.
  7. Like Monkeys Building Walls-  I really found that I have a really like monkeys.
  8. Are You Truly Living-  Because I think it is an important thing to know.