Monthly Archives: September 2022

22

Move Toward the Positive

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Suppose you are honestly looking at your thoughts and see too many ideas and feelings falling into the negative. In that case, it is time for you to reevaluate how you are thinking and to start learning how to say “goodbye” to negativity. It is simple to do, but it isn’t easy. We are hardwired to be harmful, and changing that programming takes a slight rise in your level of consciousness and embracing the present moment of your life. Here are some ideas on how to move toward the positive.

Negativity Rising

Negativity rises from us as we deny the present moment of experience we are having. That means we spend too much time living in our future or our past and not enough time in the only moment we have, the present. Much of our negativity comes from fears we face, which result from putting our thoughts in the future. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, and worry are all from a fixation on the future and projections of the mind about what might happen. Our brains can create all sorts of doomsday scenarios for all aspects of our lives. We could be fired, get into an accident, lose someone, become a victim of a crime, or do any other horrible thing. A negative mindset is a natural result if you live with these fantasies.

So too, are the visits of the past and their ghosts of forgiveness. Suppose you allow your mind to troll through memories, searching for moments of guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, or any other negative experience. In that case, you are taking yourself to a place of negativity that may or may not even be real. We all remember things the way we want to remember them. Two people can see the same event and come to two different stories. Your memories of wrongs done in the past are as accurate. The past is over, and there isn’t anything you can do to change it. Learn whatever lesson you can glean, but leave the emotion out because all that will do is take you into a negative headspace, which is out of the only place we can live here, at the current moment. Forgive the past and those in it, most importantly yourself. It is all water over a dam, and it is our most significant challenge to let it go.

Today is All We Have

Accepting where we are at this moment is the beginning of any significant journey. When it comes to leaving negativity behind, look at where you are and decide what you want the tenor of this moment to be. Your thoughts will determine if you will spend time in the painful negative or the positive area of your life. Look at the things in your present moment—the weather, the sounds, the feelings, and the experience right now. Look at your thoughts and bring them into the present moment, rather than focus on the past’s wrongs or future worries. Focus on your experience now because that is all you will ever have.

Through a conscious look at the present, you can observe the things creating negativity, unease, discontent, and tension within you. Usually, they will arise because of an unnecessary judgment of others and resistance to the present moment. We develop habits of thought, just like we develop patterns of behavior. Most people take the same route to work because it takes less thought and effort to do this. The same can be said for our thoughts. Our patterns are developed and continually play along on an unconscious loop. Only the light of conscious awareness can interrupt these patterns. All negativity is a resistance to what is in one form or another. Stop resisting and move forward happily.

Self Observation

This is the tool for operating on a more conscious level of living. Watch your mental environment and see how it contributes to your emotional state. Our thoughts are naturally attached to an emotion based on our experiences in life. Try to direct your attention inward and observe the thoughts your mind is producing. Look at what you are feeling because of the ideas you have. Negative thoughts will lead to negative emotions. When an uncomfortable feeling appears, look at how you are avoiding, resisting, or denying your life right now.

Often people resent others and are not used to expressing this because of the fear of hurting feelings or making someone angry. But the emotion you feel is there for a reason, and bottling it up is unhealthy and leads to resentment and negativity. The cure is natural. Stop doing what you are doing and speak to the people involved, fully expressing what you feel. Or let go of the negativity you are feeling around the situation. It serves absolutely no definite purpose. All it will give you is powerful negativity in your life.

Acceptance

When negativity arises, learn to accept the things about you which have allowed them to rise to the surface. It is a part of your story, not one that has to run on forever. Once you practice accepting your thoughts, emotions, and reactions to things, please take the next step and start to notice the catalysts to these feelings as they come up in your mind. Seeing the entrance of all negative emotions will allow you to stop yourself from creating them in the first place.

An honest acceptance of all things, people, situations, actions, and feelings about them will eliminate negative emotions. You are living in this moment and conscious of your experience, and that will allow you to function without judgment and resistance to your life as it is. Negativity has no chance to be created in your life.

“Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others.”- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“I think we manifest the very thing we put out. If you’re putting out negativity, you will retrieve that same sentiment. If you emanate joy, it comes back to you.”- Robin Wright.

“There are so many great things in life; why dwell on negativity?”- Zendaya.

 

22

The Rooms You Live In

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Are we looking for answers or looking for ourselves when we visit?

Perception is a unique thing people experience. Each person can see or experience something and choose to have specific thoughts and emotions about it. Two people can have the same moments together and take away a different perception of that thing.

This change happens all the time in relationships, and recently I have been reminded what I have perceived about other people, the places we have gone, and the emotions we shared were not the same. Throughout the past year, I have had many adventures that greatly valued me. I look at these experiences as rooms in my memory. I can visit any time I choose and remember the joy of the shared experience. The sad truth is that I am only half of those memories, and perhaps my thoughts and emotions about these times were less than I imagined. In this story, you will have to judge the value of my room of memory.

Entering a memory in your mind is like entering a standard room from your childhood home. You walk around and see things that bring up thoughts and emotions. However, some of the things you think you remembered well, you did not remember clearly. Or at least it must be so, or how else could that experience carry no weight with another? It was only you that loved that moment. A special memory of something loses its magic and loses its power. Somehow knowing what you thought was one thing was another makes it seem like a waste. I have entered many rooms lately and seen many valuable things destroyed.

The Entryway

The beginning, a friendship that turned into something more, the exciting beginning where I remember every detail and know that I was out of breath simply because I was near you. I felt fun, alive, spontaneous, and invigorated. But most of all, I felt accepted. I look around the room and see the world’s giant telephone, a cold day in Rockland, pancakes at a diner, all things that happened, or at least I think they did.

But if they did happen and the events of this room are actual, how could it be like a museum now? Where did they go? If joy like that was meant to be so fleeting, then why bother anyway? I do not know the answer to these questions, and I only see as I look at the dust-covered thoughts of that time that there is no way to touch them now.

The Living  Room

This place is one of my favorite rooms to visit because it is all I loved about being with you and all the things you hated about being with me. The emojis I would send you every day to tell you something about how I cared about you. A cello because it is your favorite instrument, a boat because my ship came in the day I met you. A red balloon because of a movie we saw together. All of these things are in this room.

But we know now that they don’t have any real meaning. These things are only remembered here by me, and that is making me wonder if they ever happened or if they ever existed at all. Was it all in my imagination? No, it couldn’t have been because I am in this room. But I am here alone remembering…………

The Entertainment Room

Well, then, there is this room of yours where I have difficulty opening the door. As I step in and look around, I am hit by the feeling of being kind and friendly. I once thought I had never met anyone as kind and gentle as you, and you were all of that: supportive, accepting, understanding, and everything a person could want. I often wondered what I had done to deserve such a beautiful soul in my life. Like a sunset or a sunrise, as the sky turns a fantastic color, it will only be for a short time, and so were you.

As I move around the room, the mood changes from kind and sweet to selfish and aloof. The kind words, pleasant thoughts, exciting ideas, and support receded and were replaced with uncaring, unfamiliar coldness. I think the person I knew and loved died that day, which took away one of the best friends I had ever known. She was gone, and only a shell of her was left behind. A sad replica of something beautiful is all that is left. This feeling only stands to remind me of the promise of opportunity lost. That room is the most difficult to visit, but it teaches the best lessons.

The Recovery Room

There could be no trip like this without a recovery room because we all need time to heal and start to come back from these moments of pain and suffering. Please make no mistake about it; you caused a lot of suffering: your choices, your words, your actions, and nobody else’s. Fortunately, even in a horrible situation like this, where you feel deceived for months, there are valuable lessons you can gather. There has been little about you that has been kind or nice in a very long time.

First, your situation is not the thing but how you think about it. I have learned to be less of an enslaved person to my thoughts and emotions, and I had to survive you. Second I have learned that though it was all a lie. I enjoyed being a part of a duo and that there is a power in that combination. Even though your joyful moments were seemingly all fake, mine was not, and I am grateful for the experience of being happy and sharing those moments. I cherish them even if you don’t. Because I can’t make you remember these things with fondness, but neither can you rob me of the joy I had in those moments.

As I close the door, I wonder why I bother to visit these places of memories of camping, sightseeing, birthday celebrations, and daring fun. They happened in my life, but what did they mean? I have to admit I have no concept of what is meaningful to anybody anymore. Or at least I don’t know what should be significant for me. These are my rooms, and I am doomed to wander them looking for answers I never found.

 

22

Wisdom Comes from Suffering

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Change is a constant factor people deal with every day of their life. All situations are continually changing and morphing into something else. Most of the changes we experience are so subtle that we don’t even notice them today. But that doesn’t make them any less real.

They are there, allowing the cycle of all things to flow into your life. All items have a beginning, a middle, an ending, and the force of change powers that cycle. Sometimes we let the changes happen out of our control, and others when we are the force of change. The muscles that cause people to initiate change and make positive changes are the focus of today’s thoughts. Change is not all fun and peace in your life. It can be painful, angry, and violent. When you lose something extraordinary, that means the world to you because it paints it in a different light because of change. Wisdom comes from suffering, and change brings suffering. It is time to delve into your knowledge, enhance experiences, and be grateful for them, the pain, and your path. Change uptime.

Why We Initiate change in Our Lives

Things will change naturally, but there are times when we all initiate change in our lives. One of the primary reasons is that we experience pain. We have attempted something in the past, and it was painful. Something is happening now, and it is sad. Or we can connect the dots between right now and the future, giving a good chance of bringing the pain. If any of these are your experience with anything, you will probably decide to change it. Pain or, more accurately, the fear of experiencing pain will dictate change.

Evaluating all aspects of the change you decide to make is essential. Pain is a great teacher, but it also builds fear in us. Then we lose our confidence, and our ability to accomplish things is compromised. Use your courage to face fear and embrace changes that you want or need in your life. Change for the sake of making your life better rather than fearing pain.

How to Change

Here is a simple method to create positive change in your life. First, get a clear and focused vision of what you want your life to change. Too many times, you have the opportunity to change your life in a good way, a job that suits you more, a better place to live, or some other aspect of life that you could address, but if you have no plan for change, you are likely to stand pat where you are. Even if that place is not so positive, get a clear and focused goal.

Then it is essential to be open to using all of your opportunistic forces to develop the tools and skills you need to change your life best. Find examples of people who had achieved what you sought before you and use them as positive role models. It is estimated that 80% of success in anything requires a role model to show you the way. Most people are very generous with their time and are more than willing to help somebody do what they have already done. Don’t be afraid to seek those role models to help you positively change your life.

Finally, it is essential to resolve all of your inner conflicts and embrace changes. We all carry baggage from our past, and that past existed for a reason. Usually, it teaches us a lesson if we pay attention. Don’t let a lack of confidence or an awful experience cost you your dreams today. We all have ability and talent, and let yours develop. Don’t let an issue from the past stop you from changing in positive ways.

Change, change, change.

Embrace the magic that change can bring and allow yourself to grow from it all. Please don’t spend your life fighting against it. Life is a constant dance of transformation. From birth to death, we all are continually changing. Don’t fight it. Embrace the change you face as the opportunity it is. Ten years from now, you will look back and see how different you are from 10 years ago as you were ten years before. Move all of your positive direction changes, and life will become a much more enjoyable experience.

“The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.” —Kakuzō Okakura, The Book of Tea.

“I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.” —Georg C. Lichtenberg.

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” —John F. Kennedy.

 

22

Our Shadow Selves

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education from dark to lightHow often do you look at yourself in the mirror? Not just how your hair looks, or to shave or do some other grooming habit, but look yourself in the eye and see who is looking back. This is a daunting thing to do because you may see something you didn’t expect, darkness. Each person born into existence has been taken with two choices, dark or light. You may argue against this simplistic idea, but look at yourself honestly, and you will see it reflected in you, the potential for both darkness and light. What ultimately wins in your life is totally up to you and the choices you pursue.

Equal Parts Exist In You

All people contain the ability to love deeply, show compassion, help their mlkfellow man, and give entirely to virtual strangers. There is also the capacity to be petty, mean-spirited, selfish, and discriminatory without too much coaxing. I watch this each day in the faces of others and some days in my reflection.

This dichotomy exists in all of us; at some point, the dark side has shown its face. Looking at yourself, you have seen and felt this before if you are honest. We are doomed to spend our lives with these two elements fighting for our attention, thoughts, emotions, and behavior dictating. If you fail to see this is true, you will be subject to some rude awakening. They will often be brought on by people who are choosing the darkness, and these experiences will hurt you and change your life path. Sometimes we need the hard slap of coldness to move us in a direction we need to go. Even though darkness exists, golden rules all and, in the end, destroy the dark.

Favorite Dark Side Activities

Separation is the place where one’s dark side can take control of their behaviors. Any time you put yourself on one side and somebody else on the other, you are in danger of dark side activity.

This is because when you label someone like them, or different from you,  or not like you, subconsciously, you permit yourself to discriminate, take advantage, and even commit violence against another human being. Notice this in society as people are labeled immigrants, Muslims, terrorists, illegals, or any other category. This happens to justify behavior, attitude, or action.

This is the real power that many government officials and the national media use to justify many policies that can’t be classified as any other thing but dark. Separation leads to the justification of dislike and even hatred and can also influence the seemingly most beautiful people to accept others’ poor actions.

Separation of race, religion, economics, sexual orientation, or region of the world one comes from is nothing but a pretext for discrimination. All you have to do is look around you and see separations. Recently economic divides have been convenient dividers.

Justifying cutting benefits to people with few resources. The dark side explains this quickly, “They should get a job.” “Why are we paying for them to sit around all day and do nothing.” We are all in this together, but we forget this very quickly.

As a rule, when you talk about people like us, those, or we, you are probably separating and ready to perpetrate or accept others’ poor treatment. Or, at the very least, become taking of the discrimination of others.

Love Is the Answer

Thank Albert, I agree.
Thank you, Albert. I agree.

Of course, the light is love, which is always good and right. The solution to dark side behaviors is the use of love, and the best part is that you have one hundred percent control over how much love you share daily. With every interaction you have and every thought that you entertain.

Every time you see someone, you have the opportunity to treat them with love or indifference and separation. Treating someone with passion does not mean that you have to give away all of your money or do anything complicated; in fact, it is the easiest. Just be present and appreciate that every person is a valuable, beautiful soul with unlimited potential.

This can be directly talking to one person or sharing a friendly smile with another, but it mostly means avoiding separations. If you divide every belief with others, you won’t, and you can’t. It is just impossible.

You can recognize their humanity and accept them for their changes. We are all human beings living on this planet, just trying to do the best we can with the gifts and circumstances that life has given us. That is it.

Doing this and being aware of it will change the lives of the people you come in contact with and your life. You are on the right track when you think thoughts like, “We are all in this together.” “Our existence on this planet is better together.”

Putting everyone into the same category, including yourself, avoids separation and removes the unwritten right people feel to discriminate or hate because someone is just a little bit different.

Embrace Your Light, Understand your Darkness

In All Of Us
In All Of Us

So the next time you look at yourself in the mirror, look deep inside yourself and recognize these two distinct characters. There is equal ability to love and hate; everyone has it, and understanding the darkness in ourselves won’t let it win over your actions but will give you the power to choose the light.

It is important to remember that everyone matters in the trip we call life. From people who love and support you to those you have felt have wronged you in any way, if you neglect to see how your love and acceptance of everyone, you are participating in separation, closing in on hate, and preparing the way for discrimination or violence.

Love is always the answer; if you can embrace this practice, your life will inevitably change for the better.

“Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.” Mark Twain

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” Plato

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first and is waiting for it.” Terry Pratchett

“Look at how a single candle can defy and define the darkness.” Anne Frank

“When you light a candle, you also cast a shadow.” Ursula K. Le Guin

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.” Og Mandino

 

 

22

To Forgive Changes Your Future

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Forgive-stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

forgive Who hasn’t been wronged, betrayed, let down, hurt, or disappointed by the behavior, attitude, or actions? Each person you pass on the street or see in your life has felt the pain caused by another. Some are big, and some are small, but that anger about the pain and the fear of it happening again makes us plot our revenge. But the true power is to forgive. Forgive them, forgive her, forgive him, and forgive yourself. To do anything else is to give away your power. Be conscious of your thoughts and emotions that lead to your words and actions. Forgive.

Why It’s Hard to Forgive

Events occur in life, and some events bring permanent change. Change can be difficult and painful. The end of a relationship, modification of a job, or loss of a loved one or friend you once relied on. The pain of loss, change, or loss of trust changes you forever. Anger is the emotion people use to protect themselves. It tells people that something is wrong and provides a false Forgivefeeling of power in a situation you are powerless to change. It is a symptom that something is wrong, and you need help.

Forgiveness is problematic because it feels like what you experienced was wrong. Perhaps you were a victim of abuse, a violent act, or just a thoughtless act of emotional coldness. Many feel forgiveness lets a person off the hook, but that is not the case. A person’s actions are karma, and your reactions and consequent actions are yours. When you forgive, you take power away from what others did to you and return it to yourself. No offense is forgotten or justified, but you are no longer carrying the burden of acts others committed against you.

It is like holding onto a hot coal and thinking of someone who harmed you when you don’t forgive. The only guarantee in the situation is that you will be hurt. Not a good bargain and nobody else even knows of your suffering. You are choosing to carry the hot coal of pain around. Let it go!

Forgive Yourself

The most difficult person to forgive is always ourselves. People always feel they should have known better, been wiser, more robust, less trusting, kinder, more caring, less mean, or just plain luckier. The reality is that you weren’t, and what happened, happened. What is, is. Accepting that and forgiving yourself for it is the path to moving forward positively. Mistakes, misjudgments, and negative situations are a part of life. Let them ruin you or allow them to make you the most vital person possible. To forgive is the key to your power over everything that ever hurt you.

You will know you forgive someone when all anger feelings are missing when you think about them and the situation you were involved in. A searing feeling in your gut comes up when you harbor anger or resentment. When that is lacking, then you have indeed chosen to forgive.

Final Thoughts on Forgiveness

Bringing the concept of forgiveness into your conscious decision-making is forgiveessential for your overall health. If you are spending energy harboring anger toward someone, it is time to let it go. No matter how long you have been carrying your anger, each new day is a chance to let it go and take power back into your life. Let forgiveness become a part of your conscious thoughts, words, and actions today.   Changing the thoughts you entertain about a bad experience will allow you the change the emotions surrounding it, and if you can do that, you are free.

The person who gets the benefits of your forgiveness is you!

 

22

Happiness is an Inside Job

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finding happinessI don’t know about you, but finding happiness in life depends on my perceptions of things and the people around me.   When you focus your actions around the things you can control (inside/out)and avoid letting the stuff outside of your experience, you can’t control the behavior you are living outside in. You will continually find yourself living at the whims of the things that happen to you rather than dictating what you would like to happen to you.

There seem to be two choices in life. Either I live from the outside in or from the inside out. The choice dictates how large the portion of happiness I  experience at any particular time is. But what does it mean to live from the inside out? There are factors we can control in life and others outside of us that we do not. We are blessed with the choice of the outside or inside dominating our consciousness, so we control the amount of happiness we experience. Awesome!

From the Outside In Not Finding Happiness

Too often, We can find ourselves allowing the things and the people who come into our lives to dictate our mood. A great example of this would be when a finding happinessperson cuts you off in traffic, and you let that act affect your mood negatively, your anger rises, and you let your whole day get away from you. When we allow others’ decisions and choices to dictate our moods and actions, we are far from finding happiness in life. It can be the same as the people we care about. If they are in a bad mood for no fault of your own or are mad about something else, it is all out of your control.

That leads to me not taking responsibility for my life. It is too easy to send blame in the direction of whatever or whoever has changed my mood. I blame the traffic, blame the crowd, blame loved ones, or blame my friends. All of these are a cop-out because the only one who can choose to be angry or suffer because of someone else’s act is you. All you can control in this situation is your reaction to someone or something. Make sure it comes from a place of love. Finding happiness starts with accepting responsibility for our actions and lives, which means seeing the outside influences for what they are.

From the Inside Out

This is when you are at your best because the opposite of what is described above is happening. All thoughts and emotions about life events come from inside, and we choose their influence on us. We do not have to be angry unless we decide to be. There is no need to be frustrated unless we choose to be. We don’t have to let the non-stop external stimulus dictate our mood because the choices are made from our positive perspective, accepting full responsibility for all aspects of our lives. When your emotions radiate from inside yourself out, they will be more positive, and they will also radiate outward from you either positively or negatively.

This is the ultimate responsibility because when you choose the reactions that you experience, your true self is allowed to come through. Each of us has this ability, but it gets clouded through the lens of what society has told us is essential, rather than making decisions based on what we feel is right or wrong. There is no unhealthy attachment to things outside of you because you’re living from the thoughts, words, and actions inside of yourself.

You Are The Shot Caller for Finding Happiness

finding happiness
Whatever Walter White says goes!

Living from the inside out allows us to be the best representation of ourselves that we can be. What the media tells you about how you should look no longer matters. Finding happiness does not come from what “they” tell you to do, be or look like; it isn’t relevant anymore. What they ask you to enjoy isn’t a part of your story anymore  (unless you allow it), and you are becoming your best self if you pay attention to the thoughts and emotions that radiate from you.

You are responsible for your moods and emotions because what you think, say, and do comes from inside you and radiates in waves out into the world rather than the other way around. Your inner goodness is a force that needs to be shared with the world. We are all happier when we focus on what we can control and make good choices and leave the things we can’t control, helping ourselves and others find happiness. Please focus on the things you can manage and push them in the direction you want to go. You have no idea what power you possess until you focus on deploying it in a valuable and vital way from the inside out.

“You can’t teach anybody anything, only make them realize the answers are already inside them.”
– Galileo Galilei

“How soon will you realize that the only thing you don’t have is the direct experience that there’s nothing you need that you don’t have?”
– Ken Keyes, JR

“Uncertainty is the only certainty, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”
— John Allen Paulos

“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”
— Sydney Banks

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
— Maya Angelou

22

Life’s Best Teachers

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Learning From Mistakes Of Life

everyone makes mistakes
Mistakes help you learn.

Life is continually teaching each of us lessons. We need to pay attention to the daily events we experience, our reactions to them, and even others’ experiences in our lives to learn something on any given day.  One of the things that I have noticed about myself and everyone I know is that we don’t like to make mistakes. When we do, we beat ourselves up for them for days, years, and sometimes, for the rest of our lives.  It makes you wonder why we are so afraid to make mistakes.  Are we born perfect knowing everything? Aren’t mistakes an inevitable part of growing and developing as a human being?  If you show me someone who has never made a mistake, I will show you someone who has never tried.  It makes me wonder why we are so afraid to make mistakes as a society.  When you look at our educational system, it is designed to celebrate the achievements of a select few, while the majority of students, who may be the most creative thinkers and eventually the people who would change the world, are held up and discouraged by this unrealistic expectation of our society to conform.  Be perfect, or you are a failure.  Why are we so afraid to fail?

Everyone Does it; what Are they Learning From Mistakes?

mistakes
Even Lincoln had a few hiccups before finding success.

We are afraid of mistakes because we have an unrealistic idea that successful people don’t make them, ever.  When you look into history, you see the accomplishments of our great leaders. You imagine that they never made any mistakes.  Throughout his life, Abraham Lincoln failed miserably at almost everything he tried until he became president. Lincoln’s brilliance was that he didn’t let his previous failures stop him from continuing to try.  He wouldn’t have been the wise and talented leader he became if it wasn’t for the experience of those mistakes he made in his life.  Lincoln was not perfect; he was the ideal leader for that time in history.  Today the media would not allow Lincoln to become President because his mistakes would be broadcast as an indictment of his competence rather than an example of his character and perseverance.

Learning From Mistakes Doesn’t Equal Weakness

Another reason we fear learning from mistakes because they allow others to see our weaknesses.  Most

we all make mistakes
Whiteout can’t cover up some mistakes.

When you make a mistake, you feel like the whole world is watching, even though there may only be a few people aware of your misstep.  We equate these mistakes with being less of a person rather than just a natural part of the learning process.  If you never made a mistake, you have never tried anything new, and if you have never felt angry, upset, and embarrassed about a mistake, then you have never lived.  It is not a weakness to try. The ability to fail, evaluate why it happened, make adjustments, and try anew should be the backbone of any great educational system.  That learning process can carry over into every aspect of your life.  You will never really learn if you don’t look honestly at your mistakes and take the lessons you will give yourself. Learning from mistakes is a talent.

Mistakes in Controlled Situations

One of the many reasons that extracurricular activities are so vitally important to society is that they provide a safe place to make mistakes and quickly learn lessons about how to

buckner mistake
Even a big mistake in sports will teach lessons.

Overcome them.  When you play on a sports team, you will make mistakes during a game. It happens you miss a shot, you give up a goal, you get beaten by a player with more excellent skill, but these mistakes each provide you with a learning opportunity, and it is your choice to participate or not.  Sports can teach you to persevere, be unselfish, identify your weaknesses, and work to overcome them.  If embraced and identified, the ability to follow the learning process in a natural workshop will allow all participants to grow.  Even if you get cut from a team after a tryout, valuable lessons are gleaned.  You can quit the sport forever or identify your weaknesses, work to improve them and try again.  You may not make the team, but if you follow the process of trying, failing, identifying weaknesses, working to improve, and then trying again, you are well on your way to success.  This skill can be applied to any aspect of your life.

Living  Your Life vs. Running Out the Clock

As we grow older, many people start believing that they are immune from making mistakes.  The experience will help guide you, and wisdom will help you avoid simple mistakes, but if you make no mistakes, you have stopped trying to learn and have decided to run out of the clock.  When you have a seemingly good lead in basketball, trying to run out the clock is common practice.  Once the clock expires and you are ahead, you win the game.  Teams stop trying to create offense and score new baskets as they are satisfied with their accomplishments and running away the time.  Many people adopt this philosophy in their lives.  They plan out their lives on a plan, high school, college, career, family, retirement, followed inevitably by death.  At some point during this process, you will hit a run-out clock situation, waiting for retirement or death. People seem satisfied and never make mistakes again.  Not knowing something can be scary because if there is something that you don’t know, then what else don’t you know? That can inspire some people but scare the ever-loving crap out of someone else.  Learning and experiencing new things is preferable to running out of the clock.  Try something. If you make a mistake, evaluate why it didn’t work, make adjustments, then try again.  This is the learning process that can lead you to ultimate success. Doing nothing and running the clock will lead you to retirement or death.  Good luck. Time to start learning from mistakes and not being afraid of what might happen.

Life is a Learning Process

Life, as I see it, is a learning process, and mistakes and failure have been given to you as a gift to help you find where you have weaknesses or shortcomings, make adjustments, and achieve success in whatever sphere you want to achieve success in.  Mistakes should not be something you fear, like a monster. They should be embraced, evaluated, learned from, and then discarded into the memory of your experience.  Failure is never final until you stop trying. Hug your mistakes and value the part they play in your learning process. Taking the time to learn from mistakes is a significant part.

“You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you.” Maxwell Maltz

“When someone does something wrong, don’t forget everything they did right.” Anonymous

“When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it, and don’t repeat it.” Paul Bear Bryant

“Mistakes can turn you into something better than you were before.” Anonymous

“Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.” Anonymous

“Don’t mention a person’s past mistakes when trying to change. That’s like throwing rocks at them while they are struggling to climb a mountain.” Anonymous

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” Oscar Wilde

22

Moving On With Life

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Acceptance is the Opposite of Judgment
Acceptance means you are doing the best you can with what you have.

Many of my difficulties in life have come from a lack of acceptance. Whether it was not accepting someone else’s behavior, my circumstances, or just how events played out. My lack of acceptance has and always will lead to difficulties. Acceptance is the opposite of judgment, the positive side to that negative coin.

I Accept Your Behavior

Acceptance-2It is not my place to judge someone else’s behavior. No permission from me needed to do anything, good, bad, or indifferent. All of the behaviors of others are their business and not mine. Instead of judging someone for my perceptions of their actions, I will accept that they are doing their best with their life’s knowledge, options, and circumstances. All people are doing their best with what they have to work with.

I Accept My Situation

In life, we all have dreams and goals. Some of us have better-defined plans than others. It is a time that I stop judging myself so harshly as I reach for these dreams. Look at the distance you have traveled down your path in life. It is remarkable all of the things that you have experienced. Instead of judging yourself, continue to experience each day, comparing your life with someone else’s preconceived notions about what you should have done, except where you are. We all have a learning curve that we need to know the things we need to experience to be the best possible.

Accepting where you are will allow you to focus on moving forward rather than judging where you are or what you have been through. I have done my best with what I had to work with, and I am sure you have too!

I Accept Life

Many things in life appear to be crying out for my thoughts, judgments, and opinions that it is difficult to understand that they need none of those serenitythings, from all of the negative stories presented by the national media to the happenings in my community. None of them need my thoughts, judgments, or opinions to be happening. n fact, often, it is the choice to offer these things that bring your feelings down and bring with them fear, worry, and anxiety in the worst way.

The thing is that accepting events of the world is not the same as condoning them. Bad things happen, and having compassion for all the people affected by negative things can be powerful. If you’re getting events to build fear and worry, creating a positive attitude is challenging; even more, it allows these negative thoughts to control your actions. Look at the fear being generated today against people from different religions. l people are doing the best that they can with what they have.

I know that you are doing the best you can with what you have, and the world is a better place for it.

If you think that I can be forgiven, I wish you would…………… Accept who you are, where you are, and what is happening.

“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that something is what it is and that there’s got to be a way through it.” “Michael J. Fox

“D” e while alive and be thoroughly dead. T en does what you will, and all will be well.” “Philip Kapleau

“I am Dead, but it’s not so bad. I’ve learned to live with it.” “Isaac Marion

We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” “Dalai Lama XIV

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22

As Strong As Your Mind

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Do you know your mind? How much time do you spend consciously

subconscious mind
subconscious mind

exploring the origins of your thought? Although we like to believe our conscious mind is making all our daily decisions, the truth is that our subconscious mind rules many choices and actions. Programmed from birth to this day by the experiences of our life, the people in it, and the organizations we are members of.

Shockingly, so many people seem to live with a blissful lack of awareness about the source of most of their behavior and reality. So let’s get to know your mind. It is the entity running our life, and we are only as strong as our minds.

The Creator of Thought-Conscious Mind

conscious mindThe conscious mind is the part of the mind that produces thought. It is used to set goals, and it judges all results. It revels in new ideas and creative activities. The goals in the future are determined here, and often the path chosen is based on experience. According to Bruce Lipton of The Biology of Belief, it can process, on average, 2,000 bits of information per second. The conscious mind can only handle a few tasks at a time. We think this mind is in control. It will come up with ideas and allow us to thrive and be successful in the world. Learning to use this tool and not allow it to use us is the natural talent of the subconscious mind’s power.

Our dreams and goals are created here, and it determines the areas our focus is centered. Where our guide goes, our energy flows. Directing your thoughts toward your goals and dreams allows you to put all of your energetic flow behind them, and we can take steps to create them and make them a part of our reality.

The Man Behind the Curtain- Subconscious

The real power in our lives is the subconscious mind. It continually works on our behalf, running its programs in the background like a computer. It has a remarkable capacity. It is believed this mind can handle 4 billion bits of information per second and take care of thousands of tasks at once. It is responsible for regulating most bodily functions without a problem. The subconscious predominantly focuses on the present moment but uses past experiences to solve today’s problems efficiently.

Anyone who drives has witnessed the Subconscious mind in action. When you go down the road, and your mind is distracted by conversation or thought, and your conscious mind “drifts away,” you still drive down the street without really paying attention. You snap out of it and don’t remember how you got where you are. Thank you, subconscious mind. When the thoughts we direct with our conscious thoughts react with the subconscious mind, our world moves to make them all a reality. There are several theories and beliefs about the power of the subconscious mind. But it is undisputed that there is power here, and using it can change your life.

Minds Working Together

The real power of the subconscious mind is that many believe it dictates what we experience in reality. The experiences we have had led to the programming of the mind. This programming forms beliefs based on the_power_of_your_subconscious_mindour interactions at an early age with parents, family members, teachers, the media, or any other significant force in life. These beliefs can be positive or negative, depending on your experiences, and your thoughts lead to perceptions and how you view the world.

Your perceptions dictate your reality, success, understanding, and ultimately your happiness with your life. The subconscious responds to life through this programming, and the conscious mind can be used to create your life. Changing the way you think makes it possible to change the reality you experience daily.

So all beliefs can be affected by conscious choice, which changes the subconscious mind’s programming, where 90% of our actions come from. This process is the key to creating your life as you desire.

Much of what we believe to be accurate results from faulty programming that we built based on others’ inaccurate beliefs. Consciously evaluate your beliefs, and decide the truth in them and where they came from. Change them if they do not serve you or provide a positive life experience.

“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” Earl Nightingale

“If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” Anonymous

“You affect your subconscious mind by verbal repetition.” W Clement Stone

“There is only one process of healing, and that is faith. There is only one healing power. Namely. Your subconscious mind.” Joseph Murphy

“Once the subconscious mind accepts an idea, it begins to execute it.” Joseph Murphy

22

Learning About Your Emotions

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How one deals with trauma, disappointment, anger, and frustration is a part of everyone’s life experience. The emotions that naturally arrive with each of these events in life are often the cause of many problems we carry throughout our lives. Learning to express our emotional pain and distress positively and healthily can lead to everyone’s further enjoyment of life. The inability to process emotions we feel healthily may lead to a lifetime of trauma, disappointment, and confusion.

Learning to express our emotional pain and distress positively and healthily can lead to robust life enjoyment. The inability to process emotions we feel healthily may lead to a lifetime of trauma, unhappiness, and poor health. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Emotions As Enemies

In my youth, I learned that feelings were enemies. Not overtly, but subtly through my life experience. My male role models taught me that you should keep your

Our feelings can hurt us more than any foe if we don’t know how to deal with them.

Emotions in and not shown to the world. Since I never spoke of what I felt, I was left to guess for a reason, but as a young person, I believed it was because anger, sadness, shame, and frustration were terrible things that showed a person’s weakness. So I learned to put on a smile and keep my disappointments in life to myself. I was an expert at putting the uncomfortable things in a place where they couldn’t reach me, but I didn’t realize that they would always be a part of me until I learned to deal with them constructively.

Emotions are a natural result of life and work to help us determine what behaviors we resonate with through our actions. Painful emotions tell us something is wrong, but that “thing” was never us, just what happened to us. The lack of communication around our negative emotions and the events or thoughts that cause them leads to most of our problems in life.

Embracing all parts of ourselves, including the uncomfortable parts of emotions, is essential for health. Nobody lives without having a negative thought.

Learning to Deal with Emotions

Too often, it seems like people choose to either obsess over emotions or numb themselves through alcohol or drugs. The problem with these techniques is that the negative feeling is still.

Learning to deal with emotions and talk about them is one of the healthiest things we can do.

Waiting to be dealt with becomes a destructive part of your life. Being happy is hard when you carry so much anger, frustration, or shame.

There are many resources out there that can help you deal with your emotional baggage healthily, and links at the end of this article to help you. Here are a few that I think are effective for me.

  1. Journaling or creating something artistic to help you express what is happening inside. Emotions can be difficult to communicate, and images or other artistic creations can allow for a healthy expression of things that bother us.
  2. Learning to recognize unhealthy or harmful thought patterns or practices, accept them, and learn how to let them go gently out of your life, relieves emotional pain.
  3. Understand the role that pain has in a healthy life. It can be a catalyst for growth and teaches resilience. Minor health issues provide the experience to deal with more significant difficulties later in life.
  4. Seek the help of others. Find someone who can guide your emotional health if you don’t know how to deal with what you are experiencing. Speak about your pain to someone, which will help you release it. A professional counselor or therapist is a great option. Never be afraid to ask for help; it isn’t a sign of weakness; it is a tool to allow you to live a fulfilling life.
  5. Practice forgiveness- learn to forgive yourself and forgive others for anything they did that hurt you. Carrying around pain and anger will only weigh you down and, from my experience, stop you from becoming happy in life.
  6. Talk about it. Tell someone you trust how you are feeling. It is a simple but effective way of dealing with things.

Suppose our challenges today stem from some emotional issues that haven’t been dealt with appropriately. Shouldn’t our educational system teach kids how to manage youth’s emotional roller coaster rides?

Learning to accept emotions and deal with emotional issues more healthily allows for many of the blocks in life to be eliminated, allowing a healthy expression of yourself and providing your gift to the world. That is a good thing.