Tag Archives: leave the past behind you

To Forgive Changes Your Future

Forgive-stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

forgive Who hasn’t been wronged, betrayed, let down, hurt, or disappointed by the behavior, attitude, or actions? Each person you pass on the street or see in your life has felt the pain caused by another. Some are big, and some are small, but that anger about the pain and the fear of it happening again makes us plot our revenge. But the true power is to forgive. Forgive them, forgive her, forgive him, and forgive yourself. To do anything else is to give away your power. Be conscious of your thoughts and emotions that lead to your words and actions. Forgive.

Why It’s Hard to Forgive

Events occur in life, and some events bring permanent change. Change can be difficult and painful. The end of a relationship, modification of a job, or loss of a loved one or friend you once relied on. The pain of loss, change, or loss of trust changes you forever. Anger is the emotion people use to protect themselves. It tells people that something is wrong and provides a false Forgivefeeling of power in a situation you are powerless to change. It is a symptom that something is wrong, and you need help.

Forgiveness is problematic because it feels like what you experienced was wrong. Perhaps you were a victim of abuse, a violent act, or just a thoughtless act of emotional coldness. Many feel forgiveness lets a person off the hook, but that is not the case. A person’s actions are karma, and your reactions and consequent actions are yours. When you forgive, you take power away from what others did to you and return it to yourself. No offense is forgotten or justified, but you are no longer carrying the burden of acts others committed against you.

It is like holding onto a hot coal and thinking of someone who harmed you when you don’t forgive. The only guarantee in the situation is that you will be hurt. Not a good bargain and nobody else even knows of your suffering. You are choosing to carry the hot coal of pain around. Let it go!

Forgive Yourself

The most difficult person to forgive is always ourselves. People always feel they should have known better, been wiser, more robust, less trusting, kinder, more caring, less mean, or just plain luckier. The reality is that you weren’t, and what happened, happened. What is, is. Accepting that and forgiving yourself for it is the path to moving forward positively. Mistakes, misjudgments, and negative situations are a part of life. Let them ruin you or allow them to make you the most vital person possible. To forgive is the key to your power over everything that ever hurt you.

You will know you forgive someone when all anger feelings are missing when you think about them and the situation you were involved in. A searing feeling in your gut comes up when you harbor anger or resentment. When that is lacking, then you have indeed chosen to forgive.

Final Thoughts on Forgiveness

Bringing the concept of forgiveness into your conscious decision-making is forgiveessential for your overall health. If you are spending energy harboring anger toward someone, it is time to let it go. No matter how long you have been carrying your anger, each new day is a chance to let it go and take power back into your life. Let forgiveness become a part of your conscious thoughts, words, and actions today.   Changing the thoughts you entertain about a bad experience will allow you the change the emotions surrounding it, and if you can do that, you are free.

The person who gets the benefits of your forgiveness is you!

 

The Past

udestiny historyrl So much of our lives revolve around the stories we tell. Not only the ones we tell others about our past but, more importantly, the stories we tell ourselves about the past. These stories about our perception of our history tend to color and temper our expectations for ourselves today.  What is the value of this? It is time to let go of history and move forward.

Faulty at Best

One of the things that I am sure of is that the history we remember and the stories we tell are not very accurate and controlled by the beliefs we choose to entertain. Memory is not a very trustworthy tool to use when looking at the past.  When five people witness an accident or another event, the stories will only have a base of consistency when interviewed separately. That is because we all have biases and beliefs that influence how we interpret the events in our lives. Accept that is true, and you can move forward without being attached to the results of stories from the past. Your memory is faulty, and you can’t trust that you remember things accurately at all. So living your life based on these lessons is faulty as well. Let go of history and move forward.

It Limits Today

Another reason to move past the stories that you let define you is that they will limit you. Focusing on the stories of the past that make up your character and experience establishes your identity. Who knows what new information and experience will do to change who you are and what you believe. Clinging to the past as an identifier for who you are will limit who you might become. It is like wearing a costume that you can’t get out of. Look at it, learn from it and discard it. There are no reasons to accept limits in your life.

You Can’t Change It

change the pastOne fact that is irrefutable is that no matter what has happened in the past, there is no way to change it. No matter what has happened, good or bad, it is what it is, and changing it is not an option. Many people spend their lives reliving old positive memories and glory days to remind themselves that they felt good about themselves at one point.  Or they spend a lot of time reliving mistakes and reminding themselves of the problems they caused themselves, like a badge of explanation for the problems faced today. Neither of these options is healthy or allows you to move forward. Your past can’t be changed, altered, or adjusted in any way. To think otherwise is a delusion. Learn from it and put it away, understanding that the only moment that matters is the one that you are in right now.

Our personal history can be an interesting thing to visit. There are people we met who we learned from, either good or bad. Some events affected the way we view life.  Some have allowed me to see the potential in all situations. Others make me wonder about the honesty of people. Regardless of the value, all of the past needs to be put away, so there is room for new growth experiences coming to you at this moment and in all the moments of the years to come.  One’s vision can only be clear without the shaded lens of the past.