Research indicates that in many cases when people are feeling physical pain, general malaise and chronic weariness the cause can be linked to unexpressed emotion. As a society, and especially as men, we are not taught how to properly express our feelings or even to notice the message they are trying to send us.
Many of my difficulties in life have come from a lack of acceptance. Whether it was not accepting someone else’s behavior, my circumstances or just the way events have played out. My lack of acceptance has and always will lead to difficulties. Acceptance is the opposite of judgment, the positive side to that negative coin.
It is in our nature to judge others, we do it naturally, judging someone else’s behavior, actions, motives or past. It is a biological need to do this because it will help protect you from harmful situations and people and of course this is important to your survival.
It really jumps out at you when you observe people being judgmental about the behavior of others. It seems that today the judgments of others are high and the reactions to others are based on blind judgment and hate, it stands out and makes you wonder why it is that way. When you judge someone else in this manner you define yourself, not them. I think it is important to remember this.
Yesterday I had one of the most interesting visitors I ever experienced. It was from my 10-year-old self and it was eye opening to remember how great that person was and even better to know that all of the great things about him
are still there inside of me now 40 years later.
All experiences in life are an opportunity for growth and learning. The person you are today has been built brick by brick from the things that you have gone through both good and bad. Those things that were not so enjoyable or were extremely painful are often considered darkness and the darkness that comes into our lives can be difficult to get rid of even many years later. Unfortunately, as we are going through these dark times there is no real way to gauge the benefits that are coming to us down the road, but that doesn’t make the value any less tangible. What makes a situation dark? Is it something that another has done to us? or is it our own weakness and inability to say goodbye and move on?
Why We Judge
It can be so easy to look at someone else’s life and quickly dissect all they are doing wrong or at least could be doing better. Their lives seem a simple puzzle. They are too lazy, too rich, too poor, don’t care enough, or care too much. People look so quickly and coldly that they never really see the harm that judgment can do to their own lives.
Minds work overtime, sometimes and I wrote this list originally several years ago but continually update my core beliefs as new evidence and experience prove old ideas in need of tweaking or total replacement. So here are the current version of MY CORE BELIEFS. Presented in no particular order, here are a few of the things that I hold as truths for my life.
We Are All Connected
Call it God, the Universe, or whatever your religion dictates, but to me, we are all connected through divine order. All people contain the same abilities for great love, and equal power to commit evil. That is just a part of this crazy game called life.
Keeping it All Positive
No matter how confident and successful you are, life has a way of throwing challenges your way that will push you to make decisions every day which redefines who you are. In everyone’s life, there are going to be events that force a constant expression of this experience.
In the end, even after facing a challenge I like to think that we have become a more galvanized feeling of who we are, and we hold on to beliefs with a more critical and realistic passion.
I was having a discussion with a friend the other day about all of the things we had done that in retrospect seemed like bad ideas.
Failed relationships, poor decisions, wrong turns on the path of life all came up, and my friend said the magic phrase, “If I knew then what I know now, things would be different. If I could only do it all over again.” That thought is probably one that everyone has had at some point in their lives. I, myself, have thought this before, but not any longer.
To fear or to love?
All situations in life can be broken down into a simple choice. Will you think and act out of fear? Or will you think and act out of love?
I believe that EVERYTHING you think will make a difference in your life. I believe this because of a lifetime of experience and entertaining the wrong types of thoughts. Basically, I lived much of my life under the influence of fear but have chosen to make a change and look at things with thoughts of love.