Tag Archives: being positive

Some Things I Think About

Our thoughts are our own. No matter how hard the people we know, the media, or society tries to determine exactly what you think, the ultimate thoughts you entertain on a moment-to-moment basis are chosen solely by you.  The mood, kindness, and productivity of these thoughts (or lack thereof) will lead to who you become and what you experience tomorrow.  The things we think about the world, other people, and most importantly, we will determine the turns our life takes and the relative success or failure we find in our existence.  So the question becomes an important one. What do you think about it?  You can spend many hours with someone and lie next to them at night, but you will never know their thoughts.

What do you think about the world?

We live in a society in the United States where people experience unprecedented freedom of movement and thought. Yet, we have a culture bombarded with images of fear and lack. Watch mainstream media, and you will feel your life is at risk by walking out your door. Every person you meet has terrible intentions to kidnap you or someone you love or commit an act of terrorism.  All of this creates a culture of fear convenient for those marketing what do you think about?to you but not so good for enjoying life.  Some dangers exist. That is life, but the majority of people and situations are not going to hurt you.

It has been my life experience that most people will go out of their way to help you if you need it.  They do this expecting nothing back. It is done because it is the right thing to do. None of this makes headlines on the news, though, because madness and fear sell products. Kindness does not.  This happens simply because you are looking for anything to make you feel better or safer when you are in fear. You don’t need anything when you are happy, safe, and content. What do you think about the world?

What do you think of other people?

Other people are a mystery because we don’t know what they are thinking. But we are quick to judge, evaluate, and label them.  It is thousands of years of instinct that cause us to do this.  Our ancestors had to quickly judge another person’s threat, kindness, or advantage. Their lives depended on it.  Our minds are programmed to look for problems and threats.  Looking for the good in someone is more complex and takes a little effort. But look for the good in all people out there, and almost always, you will find it.

The thoughts you entertain about those other people will lead to how you view them.  If you are mistrustful, judgmental, mean, and limiting, then most of the people you meet will be reflecting that right back at you.  Make sure that everyone in the world is selfish jerks to muck up your life. But the real issue isn’t them, but your thoughts about them.  Even the biggest jerk in the world has something good about them.  They often have just forgotten that it is there.  If you choose, those thoughts of kindness and acceptance of others will also be reflected in others. Try to choose positive thoughts about people.

What do you think about yourself?

This is the place where nobody will know what you think but you. We never talk to anyone as much as we talk to ourselves. Yet, we don’t think about how we carry on these conversations.  How you think about your relative worth will be reflected in your thoughts all the time.  It is easy to look at our physical appearance, accomplishments, or mistakes in life and beat ourselves up continually about them.  I am too heavy, too thin, don’t have enough money, a big enough house, or whatever things we perceive we lack.  If we spend our thoughts thinking of what we lack materially or personally, we will lack.

Choose rather than focus our thoughts on our good qualities and what we can and want to accomplish in life.  We are conditioned from childhood not to brag about our good qualities. It is an easy step to mean we should be ashamed of our good qualities.  But that is a mistake. How we think about ourselves will be the most significant factor in our successes or failures. If we do not believe in ourselves, then what anyone else thinks isn’t going to matter or help.  Inside each of us is a great person with talent, and we all have great qualities. Many people have buried them deep underneath the tangled weeds of the expectations of others.  Seek that person and know the goodness in you, and good things will result.  Be kind, loving, and accepting of yourself; it is easy to be that way about others.

What is it that you are thinking? Be conscious of the positives and negatives you are thinking about the world, other people, and yourself, and you will see how you think is going to dictate the things you experience in the world.

“Your circumstances may be uncongenial, but they shall not remain so if you only perceive an ideal and strive to reach it. You cannot travel within and stand still without.” James Allen

“Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world.”  Eckhart Tolle

 

Love It or Fear It

To fear or to love?

You May Disagree
You May Disagree

All situations in life can break down into simple choices. Will you think and act out of fear? Or will you believe and work out of love?

I believe EVERYTHING you think will make a difference in your life and come with emotions attached, which affect your decision-making. I believe this because of a lifetime of experience and entertaining the wrong types of thoughts. I lived much of my life under the influence of fear but have chosen to make a change and look at things with feelings of love. No small endeavor, but I encourage all others to attempt to do the same.

How You Think Leads to How You Live

This article is about the fundamental belief that I have developed in my game of life. If you are thinking judgmental, mean, sarcastic, or hateful thoughts about other people or groups of people, there is no doubt that you will experience those things in your own experience.

These are negative thoughts which lead to unhappy experiences
These are negative thoughts that lead to unhappy experiences

If you choose to focus on accepting, kind, and loving thoughts, then that will be the overall experience of your existence. How do I know? I used to think the former and now try to focus on the latter, and although I am the same person, the experience of life has been entirely different and much more positive and enjoyable in all ways.

Fear is the chief motivation of those who are critical. A person rejects any thought or action that will lead to change or be different from comfortable beliefs. Even if things are currently going poorly, people avoid change because they fear that changes might make things even worse.

There is nothing wrong with experiencing fear itself because fear gives you adrenaline and or motivation to act. Still, if you focus on and allow it to move your actions from day-to-day, your experience will suffer from negative energy. We all face fear every day, but it is how you deal with it that matters. Each moment comes down to this simple choice between fear and love, the one you choose will define your life and you as a person.

Change is Always Possible

change-thoughtsThe most daunting task for anyone to accomplish is to change the way that you think. We have spent a lifetime accumulating experiences that come along with mental programming, which has managed to keep us safe and alive. But it also can make us unhappy and not allow us to reach our capabilities.

Yet, at some point, even though we are safe and alive, the quality of our life needs value. Once you start to pursue happiness and caring, you notice what has been making you unhappy. What is it that makes you hang your head with worry? What makes you afraid to speak? What makes you hide your individuality? What makes you disappear who you are? Fear.

Fear that you won’t be accepted, or fear that someone will take something from you that you love. Fear that someone is going to harm you or those that you care about can hurt you. The mainstream media feed these fears to gain ratings and Madison Avenue to earn consumer dollars.

The reality is that fear is just a thought and an illusionary thought at that. What you are afraid of is not accurate, it is a thought, and that is it. What if? What should? What Might? Questions that provide these thoughts; are not real they don’t exist, yet they offer genuine suffering for people. Your thoughts about things are the cause of most of our issues. Change your thoughts, and many of our problems go away.

There are many dangers in the world, and those should be avoided because they can hurt you, but fear of them will only stop you from doing what you want and becoming the best you can be. Fear limits you and destroys dreams.

Getting Out of Fear

Beliefs are merely thoughts that you choose every day to add weight to.
Beliefs are merely thoughts that you choose every day to add weight to.

Getting rid of fear in your thoughts is simple, but it is not easy.

Stop thinking fearful things. Now that would be easy to control all of our thoughts, but you really can’t.

Thoughts pop into your mind at a rapid pace, representing your lifetime of experience. Bias, prejudice, hatred, fear are all a part of your knowledge, and they are all associated with others.

You can’t stop them from popping into your mind, but you can control how much you pay attention to them. Simply noticing the thoughts of fear as what they are fake surprisingly releases you from their power. All of their power over you comes from inside your head and the thoughts you choose to give power to. Let the negative go and replace them with something more positive. The human mind is only capable of entertaining one idea at a time. If your thought is positive, so will your mood, actions, and life.

Replace thoughts of fear with thoughts of love

enigmaOnce you recognize and admit your worries and let them go, it is incredible how easy the right ideas and feelings flow. It feels better to be happy, healthier to love, and more enjoyable to live without fear.

It takes time, and you have to be honest with yourself. Recognizing your weaknesses can be painful and challenging, but you have a simple choice here. Choose caring over callousness, kindness over being mean, understanding over judgment. Keep living your life in fear and be unhappy or admit to your negative thoughts and recognize that you can just let them go and think differently.

The choice is up to you! Nobody else can make it for you.

“Fear and love can never be experienced at the same time. It is always our choice as to which of these emotions we want.”-  Gerald Jampolsky

“Love and fear represent two different lenses through which to view the world. Which I choose to use will determine what I think I see.”-Marianne Williamson

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”-  Marianne Williamson

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”-  John Lennon

Lessons

10891894_10152953817908518_7194032913393854931_nFrom time to time we all reflect on our experiences and try to bring some valuable experience from life. It is human nature to look back and reflect on the things that happened and to glean whatever helpful information we can from it. Many occasions and situations happened over the past year, which has given us a new experience or taught us a new lesson.  The year has certainly taught me many engaging lessons. It seems the older that I am, the more I learn, and I look forward to the new year with anticipation about all the things that I will know.  But before we move forward, let me look back at the year and the lessons it has taught me.

  1. Be for yourself- In all that you do, it is ok to look at the experience and determine what is going to be the best outcome for you. If you don’t look to your well-being, then nobody else is going to. Making sure that what you are experiencing is good for you and your future is not selfish. It is common sense. I have found that most situations are designed to work out in your favor, especially if one takes a moment to analyze it and see if it is ultimately for your greatest good.

2. People are Awesome-  Or at least they are if you give them the chance to be. At the end of each year, it is natural to look at the year and think of the people who have come into your life over the previous 12 months and the mark they have made on it. I have been very fortunate to have many incredible people touch my life and leave an indestructible, positive impact on me.  From all areas of life and places I hang around and write like Panera, my life has been altered and enhanced by each encounter. It affects everything from the music I enjoy to the understanding I have about others.

Often people enter your life much like the tide in the ocean. They roll in and cover an area, stay for the time they are intended, and then recede to their origins. Often the things that they leave behind on the beach of your life are pretty significant. Even though few people can remain in your life constantly forever, each leaves’ mark may have a lasting effect. They may make you smile when you think of them or force you to think of things differently.

I have been blessed this year by many tides, and the remnants of their presence will stay with me throughout life. I wonder how many people I will meet in the new year can say the same thing about. I can’t wait to find out.

3.  Living without Attachment- One of my problems is placing an unhealthy attachment to things.  I hope that I have learned how to be better at allowing things to happen as they are meant to and enjoying them for what they are, rather than being disappointed for what they are not. When I let life go, doing my part by setting goals and taking actions, each day brings an enjoyment that makes life a fantastic experience.

It doesn’t matter what you are doing; it will always be good if you appreciate what they are. There are sad things that happen, and you will not define those as “good,” but they are happening. If you learn something from them, then they are valuable. I do not know what the future is bringing, but I look forward to it all.

  1. Getting Healthy is Hard but Rewarding- I am sure that many have learned this lesson. As you reach the end of your rope and know it is time to take control of your health and fitness. No matter your goal, it can be challenging to get to the point you want to get to. Losing weight or just being healthier. The good news is that you will soon be reminded how good it feels to get a regular exercise period in your life. How happy it makes you and how much more you enjoy life because of it. I had the motivation to finally put all the excuses aside and start to get in better shape, and it has made my life a complete experience and has led to some daunting fitness goals in the new year. There is only one way to accomplish any fitness goal: one day at a time.

5. What you BELIEVE about yourself is a choice and can be changed as more information becomes available.

I learned that most people are running their lives based on the beliefs they established when they were very young. These beliefs were cultivated and developed because of the ideas of our parents, teachers, and things as distant as the media. Our beliefs about success, love, and money have been implanted in our minds, and most folks never manage to question these things.

You can change all of these beliefs about yourself at any time that you wish. It takes a simple recognition of your beliefs and how you would like to change them. Let your life experience dictate what you believe and not what someone else wanted you to think about yourself, your abilities, and how enjoyable your life experience is going to be.

6. Forgiveness is vital in moving forward in life. The most important person is that you need to forgive yourself. There is nobody else’s opinion that matters as much to you and your life experience as yours. All people have regrets and have made mistakes; it is OK. Let go of the guilt and make choices today that will honor you, and that is the only thing you can control. The past is gone, and it is never coming back, good or bad.

Once you truly forgive yourself, then I have found that forgiving others is a lot easier.  Forgiveness allows you to keep things in perspective, move forward with life, and enjoy what you experience without comparing or contrasting it to previous events. Happiness is a choice that often begins with the intention to forgive others and, most importantly yourself.

7. Being positive is a choice that you can make. Many people look at positive thinking in the wrong light, I think. It is not only looking on the bright side of things, but it includes how you perceive the world and its events. There is a natural and straightforward contrast to what we view as unfavorable, and how you think is always a choice. If you look at someone and judge them in a negative light, it is just as simple and healthier to accept them as they are. You are learning to practice substituting sympathy for cruelty, love for hate, generosity for greed, or hope for fear. All of these things are simple choices that you make in every situation.  Life will test you, and no matter how hard you try, there will be times when you fail and think things based on bias and prejudice. Each one of these situations provides you with the chance to grow and become a better person.

8. It’s OK to be Afraid

All people experience fear, and it is a natural part of life. How you deal with it is what is essential. Facing what you are afraid of head-on and honestly takes courage, and hopefully, I have developed this type of strength over the past year.  Fear of death, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what other people think of you and what you do, etc., are all genuine. There is no weakness in feeling these things as long as you face them, overcome them and take actions that you know are right.  In many cases, it does take bravery to be yourself, but that is the only natural way to experience a happy life.

I look forward to the changes and opportunities that I will have to be a better person as I develop throughout the year. This is a very Good Thing.

Positive Life

It has been one of my experiences that people are as happy as they decide they will be. We make choices every day about our attitude by the thoughts we choose to entertain. Either you choose positive thoughts, which positive words and actions will follow, or you will move in the opposite direction. That is a negative movement with negative words and actions to follow. It is backed up by research shown in books like The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. How you think can be altered to create a more positive experience in your life.  Here are some simple things to try to create a more positive outlook. Open your mind and see what you can supplant in there.

Practice Gratitude

Before you can be positive about life, you need to appreciate what you are fortunate enough to experience today. Too often, we focus our attention on the things we do not have and ignore the things we do.  A simple shift in focus to being grateful for what you have will increase your mood and create a more positive life.  Being more positive will make your life more enjoyable and even lead to better health.

The simple way to do this is to list all of the things you are grateful for. When you start your day, honestly give thanks for the good things in your life. They can be people you love, your job, the house you live in, the car you drive, the view you experience, the friends you have, a wonderful cup of coffee in the morning. Whatever you have to be grateful for, list it and think about it, and your mood will naturally become more positive.

Cultivate a Positive Attitude

In every situation, there are two sides, a positive and a negative.  Go into all situations with the idea that you are looking on the bright side of things.  Choosing before anything happens to look at things positively makes bumps in the road you encounter to be less of a barrier to success but more of a catapult to becoming your best. How can the same situation be viewed in two totally different ways? Mindset. Understanding that we are developing, learning people throughout life allows us to look at mistakes or bad experiences differently.  That they are not the end game, but a step on the way toward the end game.

There are countless cases of people who have managed through difficult times and gained a skill or lesson that allowed them to achieve ultimate success in the end. You will find the success of your goals by persevering through adversity, not being buried by it. A positive attitude is a fuel that allows this to happen. If you look at life as a game board, you are now not where you will end up. It is the next move that determines your future.  All experiences give us the chance to learn and grow, and it is up to us to grasp the lesson and become better.  A positive outlook will allow you to do this.

Limit Time Dwelling on the Negative

All of us are going to experience some negative things. Still, most often, our lives’ negative forces are not something we have experienced directly but something we are exposed to through society and the media. The media creates “news” that is designed to make you feel negative.  These negative feelings made you feel isolated from others and scared that people are out to hurt you. You have the option to decide how much time you spend focusing on the negative in your life, totally up to you. A person cuts you off in traffic, and you can spend your time thinking about what a jerk they are or send them peace because that is who you are.

Our thoughts’ tenor sends us down a channel of feeling that will continue to build on the initial thought you choose to pay attention to, either positive or negative. Limit the time you spend focusing on negative things, and you will experience more happiness and joy in the world. Focus on the good in your life and, for that matter, in the world, and you will be better off. Don’t let a negative action by someone else dictate your attitude. This is always a conscious choice. Make a good one.

Maintain Your Momentum Of Positive

Like exercising your body, you have to maintain your work on being more positive. If you stop focusing on gratitude or avoiding the negative, or cultivating a positive attitude, then you will most likely backslide into negative patterns that have been a part of your life.  If being happy and enjoying life is how you want your life to look, then focus on these and many other things that will allow you to be positive and positively look at life. It is all a conscious choice.  It starts with choosing to move toward the positive. Life is too short a ride to spend time complaining, crying, and feeling badly towards others. Time spent positively is a good time.

“The best project you’ll ever work on is you.”

“Be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”

“Surround yourself with people who have dreams, desire, and ambition; they’ll help you push for and realize your own.”

The Brady Bunch Had It All Figured Out

 

Think

Creating positive mindsetThings To Consider When Creating a Positive Mindset

Every word we use has an energy attached to it and impacts the lives of all that hear it. Too often, we use our words without consideration of how they will affect others. Words are the building blocks used to build our mindset, either positive or negative. Our words radiate around and within us long after they are spoken. All people must be vigilant in noticing the charge of our words and their thoughts. Focusing on speaking positively will allow us to create a more positive mindset. This will make life a happier and more enjoyable experience.

Positive Mindset Musts

The most negative words that are used at some point by everyone are those of gossip. Gossip has the power to draw almost anyone in and drag 3e904ff58b78afd415f20809bbd9610athem down as well. Gossip is attractive because it allows people to feel included in a secret group of thoughts that only the group currently gossiping knows. It allows someone the opportunity to judge someone, their actions, and their lives without knowing anything as a fact. Gossiping leads to many problems and lessens your life. The most important drawback is the negative energy you generate in your life.

When you participate in talking about others and their lives when they are not present, you increase your life’s negative energy. You are spreading rumors, speaking about things that are at best half-true and worst outright lies. This sticks with you and will stay with you. If you are speaking with people who thrive on gossip, guess who they are talking about when you leave the room?

Each time you speak negatively about someone else’s life, you are diminishing your own life. You destroy your integrity.  Our behavior tells the world what we are and our actions define and accentuate that. When you participate in negative talk like this, then your life will be decidedly negative. It is difficult to experience happiness when we are constantly looking at and talking about others’ negativity.

How to Speak Positively

The great thing is that we all have a choice about how we speak and the things that we speak about. It starts by paying attention and what you thinkmaking good choices, creating a positive mindset. The simple way to manage your words is to be consciously aware of all the words you use and what energy they bring.

Learn to T.H.I.N.K. about what you are going to say, and this little acronym will allow you to look at all of the things you say to yourself and others.   Use this before you say anything about anything, and it will allow you to speak more positively about yourself and others, which will make your energy and life more positive.

T- Is it true? That is a significant factor in speaking about you or someone else. If it isn’t true, don’t say it.

H- Is it helpful? If you are about to say something that is not helpful, then choose not to say it.

I – Does it Inspire confidence? If you are about to say something that does not inspire confidence in yourself or others, you should choose not to say it.

N – Is it Necessary? This is important to consider as we speak. Often the answer is no. A thought is not worth expressing through your words.

K – Is it Kind? One of the most important considerations that we should consider when looking at the way we speak about others and ourselves. Speaking with kindness is positive and builds positive energy around yourself and others.

By following this simple guide and evaluating your thoughts, and being mindful of the words you speak, you can make your life and the lives of those around you exponentially happier by developing a positive mindset.