Tag Archives: Happiness

21

HOW’S YOUR CAREER

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How do you handle the demands of your career?

One of the things we all must navigate in life is our work/life balance.  We live in a society where work is a must to live because we all need money.  But work doesn’t have to be a boring, difficult task that we hate.   Confucius advised,  choose a job you love, and you will never work a day in your life. The Secret is to find what you are passionate about and do that to earn money.

Many people will argue that this can’t happen because you can’t make money following your dream.  However, those people never looked for or found their passion, so they see it as impossible.  It isn’t, and if you set your goal for finding that type of job, right for you. You will.  It begins by honestly looking at your thoughts, words, and actions and identifying what makes you come alive on the inside. Then find a way to make money incorporating that into your life.  Or you can work at something mind-numbing, life-ending, boring, and defeating.  It is your choice.

Finding Passion

Finding our passion seems like a daunting task, but it really isn’t when you pay attention to how you feel. Most men are taught to keep their feelings at arm’s length and act.  The problems arise when you realize that you are a human and have emotions that need to be dealt with actively or deal with them passively.  This means that what your feeling will get

your attention eventually, you can pay attention and acknowledge emotional responses or be the victim of them through uncontrollable outbursts or even physical illness.

A passion is something that you do that makes you lose track of time.  You find a focus, and all other things drift away, and you are creating something new.  Creativity is the fuel for all human activity. When you are creating, you are unique, growing, and being vital to the world.  Creativity brings passion to things and allows your personality to show through.  Work at something like this, and it will be amazing. Work at something opposite of this, and it will feel like a prison sentence.

Attitude is the Key

When we look at any job we choose to do, success or failure will be determined by the attitude we have when performing this task.  Your ability will certainly allow you to perform adequately or not. But your attitude will allow those skills to rise to the surface.  Being positive is the only attitude to real success.  Nothing good was ever created through negativity. That is a fact. If you are spending all your time complaining, you allow the victim mentality to take control.  You give all your power to the problem.

Whereas being positive about things will allow growth to be possible, and your choices will give you power. There are always three choices to every situation, accept it, change it, or leave it.  A positive attitude will allow you to see all of these options more clearly.  Enjoy the little things that your job entails. There must be something that you like, or you should really be doing something else.  Focus on these positives and ignore all of the negatives.  Positive attitudes at work allow you to be your best and others to be their best as well.

Work and Grow

Work is an inevitable part of life. It provides a purpose, develops skills, and can be of value to society. We should all look for jobs that resonate with us. Not just for the money we make, but for the enjoyment they bring to our soul.  If this is a foreign concept to you, then you need to seek a new job.  To work at something you despise is a version of torture nobody should endure.  When you see your situation as limited with no other options, you are trapped. No human works at their best in this situation.  Seek the freedom of doing what you have a passion for and see what a life of enjoyment is like.  It is possible to be financially secure and enjoy what you do.  It all begins with a focus on your thoughts, words, and actions when it comes to work today.

“Be so good they can’t ignore you.”

“We rise by lifting others.”

This song by Huey Lewis reminds me of being in high school and college and the many jobs I had back then. Work is an interesting part of life.  I’m taking what their giving ’cause I’m Working for a livin’.

 

21

A Great Day

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 Be Great Today!

I say it all the time, “Have a great day!”  and I hear it all the time from others as well, but it

Have a Good Day
It is a choice

it seems like so many people are particularly glum and gloomy in their day they have definitely decided to ignore this kind and tender wish.  The unhappiness seems to be so prevalent  I decided to write a little this day to remind people exactly how to achieve a fantastic feeling on a wonderful day. The potential for greatness is there for the taking each sunrise. You have to look for it.

Raise Your Mood!

A great way to raise your mood to be happy is to seriously and consistently think about what you appreciate.  Many of us spend so much time thinking about the things that we don’t have that we feel a void in our lives from its absence.

In reality, if you focus on what you do have and you are truly grateful for it, you will find you will soon have what you need.   Try it, and make a list that you run over in your mind.  I am grateful for my home, and I am grateful for my family, I am grateful for my

Be Thankful
Be Thankful Every Day

car, I am grateful for the shoes that make me feel so great.  We all have a list like this, and referring to it consistently daily will help you develop the strong and vigorous day we all want every day.

You Control what You Think

Open yourself up to positive thoughts that are all around you. You have the choice to pay attention to all of the positive thoughts that were ever created, or you can focus on all of the negative thoughts that seemingly surround us every day.  This was best described to me like this. If you go to Google and enter the search phrase, “Inspirational Men and Women,” you will immediately have access to the stories and thoughts of many powerfully positive people and the positive stories that come with them. This positive energy is bound to get your day moving in a positive direction.   Conversely, if you Google the phrase “evil deeds,” you are going to be inundated with all of the most negative acts of people from history, and if you invest your

how to be happy
You make these choices every day

thoughts and efforts in those things, it is little wonder that you will be a bit negative on that day.  The same is true for our thoughts in everyday life; you can invite all positive thoughts to enter your mind and influence your day in the best of ways.

Choose Wisely

This is the basic choice that you have to make every day. Even when things are just piling up on you and making you feel overwhelmed, there is still an opportunity to make it an outstanding day.  For all things, there is a season. Some days you are going to be a little sad, mad or frustrating, but realizing that you have a conscious choice to have a great day, regardless of what is happening,  may help you to not only help yourself to a better day but to help someone else achieve this as well.

A Song to help you Have a Wonderful Day!!!!

21

Anger

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For those who like spelling!
For those who like spelling!

I was faced with today’s question of whether or not anger is a bad thing or a good thing. I believe that anger is one of the emotions that you should avoid because it is one of the emotions that stem from fear.  However, being the open-minded person that I am, I am willing to look at the emotion of anger from a neutral standpoint and decide once and for all if it is desirable to be angry or not.

Anger is just Anger

I am the first to admit that anger in and of itself is not a bad thing or a good thing. It is just a thing.  We all experience the emotion of anger because we are human. But, it is how we deal with that emotion that I think is important.  So, where your anger takes you in your thoughts, words and actions will determine whether that experience is productive or not.  This determines if it is good or bad for you.

Is anger Good?

Happiness is better than anger.
Happiness is better than anger.

There are some good things to anger.  The emotion itself exists to let us know when someone or something is hurting us or our needs are just not being met. It acts much like a smoke detector, warning of potential danger.   The positive possibilities exist when you look at the anger and understand why you feel this way.  Dealing with these emotions positively and discussing them with the people close to you allows you to work on that warning sign, and the next time it will bother you less.

Anger Problems

It’s not the anger that is the problem. Poor management of anger is the problem. If you are prone to angry outbursts, then you know that anger is more often than not going to entice you to say or do something that you will be apologizing later for.

Anger causes you to react from emotion and act quickly, without really thinking, and those results are usually bad.  But more importantly, I believe it is important to recognize where that anger is taking you.  If, for example, anger makes you physically violent, then that is wrong, and it is always wrong.  That is the most dramatic case, and most people would agree that it is never OK to commit physical violence no matter what someone does to make you mad.

tumblr_mdfkwiHmPt1rzcaajo1_500Everyone knows someone who has an anger management problem, and they are not pleasant people to be around.  You live your life walking on the edge of a volcano, with no idea when it might explode, spewing hot lava all over you.  I have also been fortunate enough to interact with people who use their anger as a push to understand themselves.

We should apply the same filter to other reactions which result from anger.  Much like the action to hit, push or slap a problem away from you because it hurt you, a person can react just as thoughtlessly by adding hate, revenge, or jealousy to the problem.  This would be a great example of how to turn the emotion of anger into something terrible.

Anger leads to Revenge, hatred, and jealousy, to name a few.

Negative thoughts that we entertain are going to affect our lives negatively.  Whether you believe in karma, quantum physics, or Christianity, hate is not an acceptable thought or behavior, and nothing good ever came from revenge, hatred, or jealousy.  They are nothing more than a person’s effort to “payback” someone or something that hurt them or didn’t fulfill a need.  So allowing this anger to churn inside you and spin out these other negative thoughts and actions will harm your existence.

Hating someone because of something they did to you or someone else is the same thing as hating yourself. We all have the ability to commit great evil and to show tremendous love.  How can you hate someone else for acting exactly like you are capable of?  You never have to like what they do or accept it.  Deplore the act, but forgive the person responsible because it is only through forgiveness that you can find peace.

Revenge will Get You Nowhere.

The same can be said for revenge. When someone hurts you, the most natural response is to want to hurt them back in any way you can.  Through name-calling, disparaging comments, or actions that you know will cause pain.  You can find revenge, but it will not make you a better person.  Anger is the hot rock that burns the one that holds it.  To hold a grudge, or obsess about paying someone back, is only going to stop you from moving forward.  The past

All emotions are ok, it is our reaction to them that causes problems.
All emotions are ok; it is our reaction to them that causes problems.

It is gone, it is over, and no matter how much punishment your hurt feelings get you to implement, you can’t change the act that hurt you.  This thought pattern will stop you from letting it go and move forward.

Jealousy is a Monster

Anger often is turned into jealousy about careers, love, or even possessions.  There is nothing positive about this emotion.  Jealousy is selfish and can turn one of the best experiences in life, love and turn it into a controlling, manipulative relationship.  Most of this comes from anger that you either ignore and are a slave to in your reaction to it.

These are just three negative emotions that stem from not positively handling your anger.  My experience with each of these has been inclusively negative in every way imaginable.  Jealousy stems from anger fed by insecurity. Revenge is a reaction to make someone else recognize and understand the hurt you are feeling, and hate is an emotion that has no positive aspect to it at all.

Forgiveness is Final

There is no reason to beat yourself up or think you are a bad person if you experience anger because we are all humans, and we all experience anger.  Gandhi experienced anger, but he didn’t let it consume him. He believed you had to forgive those who wronged you or the things that happened to you.  Once you let them go, they no longer have any power over you, and you can freely move on with your life.  Much like a giant burden is taken off of your back.

In conclusion, Anger is an emotion that is neither good nor bad; it is an inevitable piece of being a human being, stemming from being hurt or not having your needs met.  How you deal with anger and what you let it manifest into in your thoughts, words and deeds are where we can recognize anger as either positive or negative.

 

21

The Arrival of Happiness

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Happiness withinHappiness does not come due to what we experience on the outside of us, it comes from within, and it is up to us to decide whether we are happy with our relationships, jobs, or lives or not. There are many reasons I believe this to be true, but here are a few of my favorite thoughts on happiness.

So Often We Rely on Things

For much of my life, I was a person who thought that it took things to make me happy.  A relationship, a house, a new car, or new clothes would make me feel like I was happy.

tumblr_lxrc7kkCNo1qcwoauo1_500Yet, like many people, deep down, I was not happy.  How can this be?  I dreamed of getting something and following a plan and got it all, yet I was not happy inside.   This feeling of unhappiness made me research how others look at happiness and what this crazy game of life should be about.  This is what I learned. If you found something or someone you rely on for happiness, then I feel sorry for you because if that person or thing is taken away, so is your happiness.  And worse you have no control over this, you are a prisoner of your situation.

Things Do Not Make You Happy

No matter how many things I accumulated, any happiness was short-lived and didn’t last.  Two things resulted, I wanted more stuff to get happy about, and I worried that I would lose my stuff, and of course, then I would never be happy.

Finally, I started reading about how happiness comes from within, and it is based on your thoughts, emotions, and perspective on life.   Regardless of your experiences, you always have the ability to choose to be happy about life.

Find What You Love, Love What You Find

The more people I meet, the more obvious it is that everyone is born with some skill or talent.  Many forget it as they grow up and have expectations put on them, and are happiness-quotes-1conditioned to think and feel as society tells them.

Think back to when you were young and the dreams you had. You may have dreamed of being an astronaut or a cowboy or whatever, I don’t think the dream is important, but the person who dreamed was. Remember them and how they thought before a world of expectations and conditioning turned them into what we are today.

I think that what you love will come to you.  It doesn’t really matter what book you read or a philosopher you follow, and all agree that finding what you love to do is important.  Once you find that, do it and don’t worry too much about the money, it will follow your passion.

Choose to Be Happy

If you look at some aspect of your life and aren’t happy about it, change that thing.  I know it sounds simplistic, but isn’t looking outside of yourself for an answer unnecessarily complicated? You look in the mirror and see what is there. You then choose what you think of that reflection.   Choose to look at that person with love and understanding, and you will find your happiness in other areas will go up as well.

Today I am grateful that happiness comes from within, and I hope that if you are unhappy with an aspect of your life, you will decide to change it.

  It’s a GREAT day to be ALIVE.

 

21

Now or Never

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If not now, then when?

if not now then when jonathan hilton
The question that can launch a thousand ships

 

There is often something that we have meant to do in life we continually put off until tomorrow because of the potential consequences. Perhaps we are too busy, or maybe we are afraid of the price we pay, to do this thing. The fact that there is change involved and change is a scary thing because nobody really can guarantee you that whatever you are looking to do will, in fact, make your life experience all that much better.

This fear is enough to stop many adventurous people from pursuing a new adventure, but should it? Isn’t the point of life to stretch ourselves and create all that we are capable of?  Or is it just a game of accumulation, the one with the most possessions at the end wins?

The short answer, I believe,  is life is about growth, because you can have everything in the world and not achieve happiness, you can know that you are producing something unique, in a voice that no one else has, be totally broke and still be happy.  So if you look to stretch yourself, you have to ask yourself, if not now, then when?

All Great Things

Most of the great things that man has ever accomplished were created by taking a chance and changing the status quo.  In fact, there is really no place in your life that you can look

changes jonathan hilton
All change can be scary

that life hadn’t changed radically from their existence even fifty years ago.

Socially there was still legal segregation in the United States, and it was considered bad by the establishment to listen to Elvis. What would they think of Jay-Z or Katy Perry or the fact that the current president of the US is African-American?

Now with Technology

This is what a phone should look like!
This is what a phone should look like!

Technologically we have gone from the television being a new thing, with three channels, to a massive entertainment source that you can watch on your phone.  Speaking of phones, if you had told me that I would have my own Star Trek communicator that I carried around with me all the time, I would never have believed it.

The phone was attached to the wall, and you had to be home to use it.  Our current phones would really be science fiction.  What if Steve Jobs had said, “Not today world, we don’t need a cool hand-held phone that talks to you.” We would be lost completely.

These things never existed and never would have existed if it wasn’t for the fact that someone thought, if not now, then when?

Are You Living in the Moment?

So when it comes to your personal life, if not now, when? When you look at your life, and you see or even more significantly feel that something needs to change, it can be difficult to take the plunge.

live-in-the-moment-for-the-sheer-joy-ofMaybe you are hoping that things will change on their own, or you will feel differently tomorrow.  However, if you are always looking to tomorrow for things to get better or improve, you may be missing out on something, a great opportunity for happiness today.

 

Putting off your own happiness is not a good thing because you were not put on the Earth to be miserable with life.  Saying I will start being happy when the kids are grown, or after the autumnal equinox or when my next birthday comes, or some other random event you are resigning yourself to wait for.

This is a prime example of not living in the moment because I have said many times. There is no guarantee that you will be around until the next autumnal equinox or even until tomorrow, for that matter.  Today is all that there is, and now is the only time you are sure to have.  If you wait, it may well be too late.  It is OK to be afraid; everyone is afraid, but those who find success learn to deal with the fear and move forward anyway.

There will come the point in your life when you have to cross your Rubicon and challenge what you need to challenge, change what you need to change, or create what you need to create.  Then and only then will you be in control of your life and your decisions.

So if not now, when?

21

Time To Be Happy

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Do you catch yourself looking at life and saying, “I will be happy when I have accomplished this, or when that happens?” This is a common mistake of focus many people seem to make. When you postpone your happiness to another moment, you are possibly giving it away forever.  There are no guarantees in the future, and if you can’t feel happy now at this moment, what makes you think tomorrow will be any different.  As I see it, the key is to find happiness in whatever you are doing right now.  There is always something that can provide the spark of joy to your life. All you have to do is learn how to notice it, and the rest will take care of itself.

Backward Thoughts of Success

We have received some bad information from the influencers in our lives, and it isn’t their fault because they were taught the same faulty information. We were told we would be happy if we gained an education. Then we were told we would be happy if we moved to a promising career that provided good pay and security in life. Then we’re told we would be happy once we had a family and started to raise the next generation.  Then it is a looking forward to retirement and the happiness that waited there.  All of these things can be great, and you can be happy experiencing any of them, but if you wait for happiness to come, you will most likely never find it.

Happiness comes in all moments and is available to each of us at all times. It is up to you to focus on it and away from the things causing you not to enjoy the day. Many things connect you to the now and the joy that exists there. Focus your mind on something natural, the sky, a flower, birds flying around, or anything else that resonates with you. Each of these things connects you to the source of all this and will calm your mind and ease your thoughts if you let it.  Spend time counting the good things in your life. Please take a moment and appreciate each one as you think of them. The human mind can only hold one thought at a time. Thinking of positive things picks up your mood, makes you grateful, and allows you to look past the bad.

Choose It

If you are looking at your life and are not happy with one aspect or two or the whole thing, then it is time to look in the mirror and make a conscious decision to move in another direction.  You have the ultimate control over the people you spend time with, the job you work, and the activities you take part in.  Happiness is available to you at any moment you decide to take part in it. There are many different things you can do to bring on happiness, and here are just a few–

*Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself— It is easy to get into a rut of self-pity about where you are at and what is happening to you at this moment. Let go of these feelings and move on to something more positive. It is unproductive and unhealthy to wallow in self-pity. Happiness will come when you leave it behind, and focus on what is good in your life and be happier.

*Be Kind— It is simple but bringing kindness and joy into the lives of others brings it into your life as well. It is simple and easy, there are thousands of opportunities every day to be kind to someone, and it doesn’t cost you a cent.  Many people pay for tolls or coffee’s, but a kind word costs nothing. Practice kindness and be happy.

*Appreciate both sides— There are two sides to every story. Sunshine and rain, darkness and light, laughter and tears, fast and slow, all of these are going to have their moments.  Practice enjoying them all. The warm weather isn’t as good if you haven’t had the cold weather to compare it to. Enjoy it all and be happier.

*Accept What Is— It is impossible and unhealthy to try to control everything in life. Not only will you fail, but you will be spending a lot of time in worry and angst that could be better spent enjoying what is in your life right now. Accept people for who they are, and do your best with the situations you are facing.  Resistance to what is will cause misery.  Accept what is and experience happiness.

*Say Yes More— Rather than dismiss things on automatic pilot, say yes to new things, activities or places.  Saying yes opens you up and of course, saying no closes you down. As long as it is inside your moral compass, saying yes will expand your horizons and bring new experiences and things into your life and be happier.

*Exercise— The simple act of walking regularly will improve your physical stamina and your mental outlook as well. God built the human body to move, and that movement brings positive emotions and thoughts into your life. When you feel better physically, you think better about yourself and the world.  Running, walking, lifting, martial arts, yoga, aerobics classes, biking, or whatever resonates with you will do. More exercise and you will have more happiness.

*Dream— You should always be working on a dream of some kind. Dreams give you a focus and make life enjoyable. Not only the achievement of the dream but the steps along the way to that goal. Many people have their life planned out to a point and then stop thinking there is more to accomplish. There is always something to work for and achieve. Dream more in your personal and professional life and find more happiness.

Happiness Quotes

“We don’t laugh because we’re happy – we’re happy because we laugh.”   William James

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.”   Elbert Hubbard

“Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.”   Ludwig Jacobowski

“Now and then, it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.”  Guillaume Apollinaire

“Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness.” Frank Tyger

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” Mahatma Gandhi

21

Smiling

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  What makes you smile?    

Smiling is my favorite
Mine Too!

I have always felt that the endgame in life was to experience happiness, and one of the ways that we show this is to smile. Smiling shows an appreciation for whatever is unfolding in your life.

There are many different smiles we share with the world, and I am here telling you that there are so many things that make me smile. I am not sure that I can mention them all here. I am trying to encourage others to smile and feel a bit more positive about life.

Good Things Make Me Smile

You are a good thing that makes me smile.
You are a good thing that makes me smile.

This is a generic way to say that I encounter many good things daily in the course of my life. Some are natural and don’t involve other people at all.

 Like the way, a sunlit morning looks on the trees or reflects off the water and tells me that life is moving and happening all around.  One look at the sheer space that a big, blue sky has to offer, and a smile has to come to your face.

 Look at the configuration, and if there are clouds, you are looking at a configuration that has never existed before and never will again.  That is reality, and that makes me smile.

People provide a lot of good things to smile about as well. A friendly wave, comment, or “how ya doin’?” are enough reason to smile.

 In these transactions, I can tell you for sure that the more smiles you share, the more you will see on the faces of others. Good things, a warm and delicious meal, a perfect glass of iced tea, perfectly constructed mac and cheese, all will bring a smile to my face because they are all good things that warm your heart and make you feel good about being alive. 

Kindness Makes me Smile.

be with who makes you happyThere is nothing more important in bringing a smile to my face than kindness. It can be the act of being kind to someone else, or it can be the gift of receiving someone else’s kindness.

 Try it sometime. Do something kind for someone, with no regard for yourself and what you will receive, and you will find a smile appear uncontrollably on your lips.  It is the same when you are the beneficiary of kindness, and smiles are the natural result.

Often when I notice how unhappy some people are, I wonder when the last time a transaction of kindness had entered into their life.

 It must have been some time if they are that unhappy about life.  Perhaps we need to make kindness a mandatory activity in our society.  Who could be against that?  Thinking about making a law about kindness makes me smile, apparently.

Memories Make Me Smile

one thing each day that makes you smileI have memories that sometimes I like to recall, and they make me smile as I remember the people and events that have positively touched my life.

Some are funny; some are just goofy, some were serious, some involved love, some involve friends, and some involve family.  All the “good” and “bad” in all of these relationships and memories combine today to make me smile as I reach into the past with my mind.

One of the great gifts our imaginations give us is the ability to reach out and touch these things at the drop of a hat.  To be with that person you haven’t seen for over 25 years or go back to that place halfway across the country or even the world.

  There are happy memories of special times spent with special people recalled and bring a smile to your face. It could be as simple as the food from a Pizza Joint or a local diner.

The smile is for the experience. Even though it is long gone, the love for the moment and the other people in it nonetheless are worthy of a  smile.

“Good” Entertainment

Stewie makes me smile.
Stewie makes me smile.

This is a completely subjective thing because what I think is good, you may cringe at, but the fact remains that good entertainment makes me smile. This covers everything you do yourself, like reading books, enjoying the artwork of others, and all things in between.

 There are jokes, and there are quips. There is the sheer beauty of a mind that you can observe and appreciate.  Who hasn’t laughed out loud at a television program or the circumstances portrayed in the pages of a book?

If you have never laughed out loud or smiled uncontrollably due to the art around you, then you need to reevaluate your activities.  In the last week, I have smiled because of television shows, music, art, writing, and the Boston Red Sox, to name a few.  There seems always to be a reason to smile if you look for it.

Smile all the While

Whatever it is that makes you smile and share your happiness and good nature with others, you should really start to spend more time doing these things.

There is no shortage of faces in the world, seemingly angry and upset about everything.  Smile at them because there are few times in life that your smile won’t make someone else’s day a whole lot brighter.  So the only thing left to know is……………..

What makes you smile?

Look around you every day and see there are always things to smile about. Simple things from freedom of movement, choice of activity, time spent with special people, a perfect sky, a new shirt, an old shirt, love, something that matters, fun for the sake of it, a new adventure, a favorite activity, seeing someone be successful, experiencing something for the first time, appreciating it may be the last time, a great meal,  any of the things we shouldn’t take for granted. Whatever it is in your soul that makes you smile today, do it and share your smile with the world.

21

The Happiness Choice

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Why Don’t we all choose Happiness?

Happiness is a goal that everyone wants to experience. How many times have you just wanted to be a5c051b4717d998bbf35faca2927241chappy with life, your choices, the people that you know, and the things that you own? Yet, there is a deep feeling of angst inside that what you have and what you are is not enough. You would be happier if you were taller, thinner, had a more beautiful car, or a more interesting significant other. The real source of happiness is within you.

The Difficulty with Things

One of the reasons that everyone isn’t happy is that they depend on things to make them so.  If you need something to happen or something to own to make you happy, then you are in trouble. What is going to happen if that thing is taken away from you?  Or it might never occur, so you will run the risk of having your happiness stolen or never happen at all because you are dependent on some exterior force to provide you with the feeling of joy.

Happiness is nothing more than a choice. Although it is unrealistic to expect everybody to be happy all the time, it is a personal choice to decide if you are comfortable at any given moment or not. Only you can make that decision for yourself.

What Makes YOU Happy?

choosing to be happy
Your choice

What makes you happy? Money, property, things?   Or do you look for love, friendship, meaning, kindness?

It is all up to your choices to look for something to be happy about or, conversely, to be unhappy.  There is always a reason, and it depends on where you focus on how emotions and feelings will go.

Often the problem isn’t with other people but with you because you have such a small list of things to be happy about and such a long list of things to be angry or unhappy about that it is challenging to be grateful for the great things that you do have.

You can change your outlook simply by adjusting thoughts you focus on, like the good things in your life.  All negative thinking, emotions, and ideas of an unhappy nature stem from fear, whereas all happy or positive emotions stem from love.

When you look at the things that make you happy, they always stem from some form of loving emotion, and when you are unhappy, you are focusing on some fear-based foolishness.

Fear Makes You Unhappy

It is important to remember that if you are happy now,  not everyone will be pleased because too many people are focusing on fear.  They find your happiness almost an insult to them. Since misery loves the company, they are often not satisfied being unhappy by themselves. They feel the need to make you miserable too, and everyone else comes in contact with them.

But these energy drains don’t have to be a pain in your life. Understand that your choices and experiences result from what you decide to focus on and nothing else.

It would be a much better world if the things that made you happy could make everyone happy, but that is not your responsibility or job. You can only manage your own experience and determine if you will have happiness or misery in your day. Nobody else is responsible, and you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. It is impossible.

I believe that when we do the things that make us shine, we will bring happiness to others.  In a world full of self-centered, egotistical people, that is the best you can do to find one real connection.

We only have one chance in life to live, create greatness, make mistakes, learn our lessons and decide to get better as a person or allowing the perceived weight of our shortcomings to weigh us down.  Happiness is there for us if we choose to carry it with us. Joy is found in the memories of loved ones, here now and passed on. Or in the smile of someone who likes spending time with you.  Every person has a heart capable of creating unlimited happiness.

 

 

Philosophy

Remember How to Play

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Remember How To Play In Life

Playing Catch
Remembering the fun of play

Many years ago, I can remember being a kid and just wondering who was going to be available to play after school.  There were not many things that were more important to my elementary school self than what I would play, where I would play and who would be available to play with.  Growing up in the town of Greenville, Maine, Tuesdays were always a difficult day because the bulk of my colleagues were Catholic and they had to go to Catechism, which significantly cut into my options.  I often urged some of my friends to skip their religious instruction for a rousing game of kickball or football or anything outside that involved a game of some kind.

I was fortunate to have a built-in playmate in my brother who was only a bit more than a year younger than me, and we always had Joel Wortman.  I can remember us getting home from school watching a little TV, eating a snack and then playing until the call to dinner would end our fun.  If there was a game, we played it.  For whiffle ball, we arranged the back yard like a Fenway, with the house being the “green monster”, the rock in the ground was first base, the worn patch was second and we would throw something down for third.  There was never a complaint or a problem with the facilities.   It was the game that counted.

playing catch
Remember those days when there wasn’t an organized game to go to, people just played for the sake of having fun

Play was such an important part of our lives that I wonder how it ever faded away, but it definitely did. As you grow older it becomes less and less a part of your life as you move into the “fun” of adulthood, the games of youth are left behind.  As young adults the opportunities for play are plentiful, but most of us confuse competition with play.  See any adult softball league to see this factor in action, too worried about winning a game that should be enjoyed just for being played.  Like many things as adults we forget what is important and that is just playing.

I enjoy playing golf because it gives you the opportunity to get outside, move around, socialize with your friends and just play.  Golf is only hard when you worry about how well you are playing, and much like life, golf is a game that can’t be won, only played.

Many people have play in their heart, and when they have children of their own, the spirit comes back out and they now have the approval of society to play again, like they did when they were young.  Some of the best parents I have known didn’t forget how to play.

Without researching too very hard here are some of the benefits that you can gain right now from playing.

climbing a tree
I couldn’t stop laughing as I climbed a tree for the first time in many years. It was harder than I remember.

Play Provides Connections to Others

As you play any game with someone else there is a connection that is made. A shared memory or experience created through play will be carried with you through the laughter and joy that you share with someone else.  Play has also been shown to help develop compassion, trust, and the ability to connect with others.

Play Helps You Learn About People

There are many social skills that are keenly honed through play.  Creativity, acceptance, tolerance, risk-taking, social etiquette are just some of the lessons that playing has taught me, and I assume can teach anyone.

 

Play Makes You Happy

When you play you will find that it is difficult to be mad, sad or otherwise pissed off at anyone.  I am told that this is because endorphins are released into your bloodstream resulting from play.  I know that it is impossible not to smile when you are truly enjoying playing.

I wasn’t sure if I remembered correctly or not, and the only way that I could know for sure was to actually try to play.  It was harder than you might think to find a venue to play where you are allowed to be yourself and not interfere with anyone else.  Then I really focused on playing and having fun and surprise, surprise it was better than I remembered.  I played catch, ran around and climbed trees, which was not as easy as I remember, but really a lot more fun.  I mean it has been over 30 years since I tried to climb a tree.

My advice to you is that you take a moment or two and play with all your heart.  You will remember what it is like to have fun.

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Questions

Joy Looks Like This

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What does your joy look like today?

Joy Noun A feeling of great pleasure and happiness. A thing that causes joy. Synonyms delight - gladness - pleasure - mirth - rejoicing
Joy- A feeling of great pleasure and happiness. A thing that causes joy.

by Jon Hilton Day 17

Can anyone really define their joy as one particular aspect of a day or even a life?

I certainly can’t so when I started to answer this question for today I had many thoughts about what gives me joy right at this moment and in the overall canvass of existence.

 My joy today looks like many things of which I am going to try to give you a glimpse of what is making experience great pleasure and happiness today.

Freedom’s Just Another Name

There is something about times of complete and utter freedom that makes me extremely happy and fills my heart with joy!

freedom There are times in each day where you have to perform specific tasks for your job or your loved ones, and that has a reward on its merit.  Yet, most days, there are moments where I have complete and utter freedom to do whatever I desire at that moment.

What I want in life isn’t all that wild and unattainable. I like to write (surprise), I want to think, and I like to read.  Finding the time and freedom to do these things fills me with joy today.

 I think that having and exercising your free will every day for some time can make you feel rejuvenated and brand new. I know that when I have moments when there is no requirement on me other than those I place on myself are precious.

 In most days, there is a small portion where I experience the freedom of choice, and that looks like a joy to me today.

Be Creative, and Things will Flow

tumblr_la3fh5yX2q1qcgiqwo1_500I have always thought of myself as a person that lacked creativity.  Since I was a young lad, I was told that I lacked the artistic creativity that used to make art.

The sad part was not that people said these things, but that I believed them.  If you think this, it cripples your ability to find answers you are looking for in life.

For example, some writers suffer from writer’s block. They can’t get the flow going no matter how hard they try.  One of the most effective ways I have found to break down chunks of any kind is to do something creative.  I find that as I allow myself to become completely engaged in an activity that is on the creative side, generally, the blocks just go away, and words and ideas start to flow freely.

Surprisingly drawing is a form of expression for me, which allows me to do this.  Even though I really have no talent in this area, if I am struggling in thought, engaging in a brief drawing session will allow me to find some clarity. Creativity looks like my joy today.

The Music Man

musicI have often written about how much music means to me, and it is a daily love affair that is only limited by the number of songs that are available for me to hear.  I find that there is nothing that explains your emotions better than music or speaks to your soul like the words of a song.  No one genre brings me joy because many songs and artists I wouldn’t think I would like to perform songs that I find that I can relate to, at least to some degree!!

Music works magically like a time machine and transports you to different times in your life and you can almost more than remember those people who were in your life at the time, you can only touch them with your heart and feel them with your soul but touch them and feel them you do.

Songs by Billy Joel take me to 1985.  George Michael, (the singer not the Bluth.), reminds me of 1988.  Hey there, Delilah takes me immediately to 2007.  It is not a phenomenon that is unique to me.  I avoid these trips of nostalgia because today is pretty impressive, but there is a time for everything.

As I drive down the road listening to some great music from today and yesterday, I know that my joy looks like music today.

You Look Like Joy To Me!

I LOVE YOU! and all of you wonderful thoughts and creations!
I LOVE YOU! and all of you beautiful thoughts and creations!

If you are reading this, then you are what my joy looks like today.  I was thinking about what makes me joyous, and that is when something I write is read by someone else and has an effect on them in any way.

It can be a positive or negative reaction, but to be moved enough to comment, either way makes me very happy.

 As anyone who writes probably has realized, this is all just the thoughts that come into your head.  They never existed before you thought them and wrote them down.

 If someone else can read them and take something from them, find inspiration, commiseration,  or agitation, then I think that is pretty cool.

Like all great relationships, there is a two-way street. I read a lot of blogs, and if I didn’t have work to do, I would read a lot more.  It is all interactive literature for me.  I love reading about all things; it is the best way to learn new things.

 It is the personality and the presentation of the information that counts.  Much like music, there is an unlimited number of bloggers out there providing great information.  I learn something about interacting with each one.  I find new ones every day like a treasure hidden just waiting to be discovered.

Some of you have become great friends, and I feel I know you better than people I see in person every day.  So you reading these words right now, that means you, my joy, looks like you today.

Hey There, Delilah, by the time that we get through, the world will never be the same. 

 

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