Tag Archives: Ghosts

Letting Go

 

burningFire is an element that represents many things to many different people. To me, it has a symbol of purification. This is because when I looked into the fire, I saw the future ahead of me and the past was left behind.

The Significance of the Fire

There needs to be a bit more explanation than that I suppose.  In life, there are people who come into your life and cause only a ripple in the large tangle of life’s experience. Then there are those that are destined to leave a deep emotional crater, that you are destined to carry in your life.  How much and how long you carry it is up to you.

I started the fire for purification purposes. It needed to be done, a weeding out of cluttered possessions that served no purpose other than to remind me of things that were gone. As long as I held these things, there was the hope in the back of my mind that they would somehow summon those ghosts from the deathly slumber of their existence. It was time for a funeral, it was time for purification.

A Picture is Worth…………….

fire footage
Pictures burned as memories drift into the sky, never to be seen again.

The pyre I started was solely for me to observe and as the preparatory flames burned I said a silent goodbye and started to cleanse my existence of those memories. It was the pictures that went first.  Each happy moment of fake smiles and skin deep beauty were at first singed and then ever so slowly erased from existence.  As they went all of the lies, jealousy and foolishness went with them. Watching them go one by one was fascinating. Playing back entire years of events.  Then wiping them and their cursed impact away.  As the last fake image of yesterday disappeared into the either, candy swirled emotions of relief and fear engulfed me.

Possessions Mean Little to Me

campfireThen it was time for the things. Things that at one time held a vat of feelings and memories of special moments that will never be lived again. Knowing that there was a beauty in the world was great, but knowing that beauty can cut you deep and leave you with nothing but scars and disappointment. Onto the fire went the every single thing that had ever been given or held any attachment whatsoever.  Some of them burned well and caused the fire to burn ever higher.  Some did not, there was a bottle from a special occasion, that only the label disappeared in the wall of flame.

Your Words Showed Their Value

Eyes on FireLast and not least were the words. Words are empty when the emotions that once supported them. Now they are like the crack of a whip every time you read them and realize that they are no more. Let them go, place them in the fire.  Read one final time and destroyed forever.  That is the way of relationships that are born in the fire. They are often ended by the fire. How else could it possibly be?

The cleansing was over, the end had come. The fire went out, the past was gone with its last searing growing ember. Never to be mentioned again in conversation, but the scars remain, not only from the past but from the first moment I looked into the fire.

The Leaf Is So Simple

The Leaf Is So Simple

A leaf in Autumn 2
The leaf is so simple but full of memories

The leaf is so simple. I remember never being able to understand how a green leaf could change into so many different colors? Or why a tree would shed it’s most valuable skin? I always think back to my childhood when I recall memories. Probably because the best ones derived from innocence.

Jumping in Leaves

Everyone remembers jumping in the leaves. It’s priceless. You tend to forget year after year that those leaves do in fact have pointy stems. That is, until you get one in the eye. Or that they’re rather fragile the older they get and crumble making their way into your clothes causing you to become itchy.

Garbage Bag Ghosts

leaves in garbage bags
Making Garbage bag ghosts. Scary!!

Stuffing garbage bags in the shapes of ghosts and using them as lawn decoration was always a favorite. Watching Mom fight with the bags while they try to blow away because she refuses to put a rock in them.

Halloween Thoughts

Halloween was always a good time. Trying to pick an outfit that will keep you warm in the biting cold but still look cool enough to wear in front of your friends. Mom was always good at coming up with last minute ideas and making them amazing.  Something about crunchy leaves kicking around while you’re trick or treating brings life to the holiday. Sparking spook and scary feelings.

Pumpkin Hunting

looking for the perfect pumpkin
Finding the Perfect Pumpkin

Finding the perfect pumpkin was the most important Fall pastime. Perfectly round, no blemishes, and just the right size. And the baby pumpkins that sat on the table. I used to love coming home from school and walking down our long driveway. It clutters in leaves entirely and makes the most earthly sound when you walk through them. I’d walk out to meet my sister when she got off the bus half an hour later just to take the walk again.

There’s always a smell that reminds me of the previous year. Something different that I’ve never smelled before, but always follows a memory. I haven’t found it yet this year, but I’m confident I will.