Life is a strange play. We move through many of our days, never thinking things could be any different. But things are always in a constant state of flux, for the one constant we experience on a minute-to-minute basis is change. It washes over our lives in inevitable portions, perhaps not wanted, but it still comes anyway. When things are not so pleasant, there is hope that changes will bring relief from what you are experiencing today. When things are going well, we hide from change because it will ruin all of our current conquests and the kingdoms we have built.

For me, the last year was an experience in the latter. Things changed for the worse as people I relied on left my life seemingly complete proportions. There was nothing I could do, and I have spent the past months trying to pick up the pieces that used to be me and see where they fit. The feeling of significant loss is a form of suffering, and I can be aware that I had built too many attachments to the way things were. Perhaps too much trust too soon in some people. I have spent too much time looking at the past and wishing things would magically snap back to where they were a year ago. But that hope is holding me back from moving forward into whatever the following stages of my life will bring, which can be equally good if you allow them to happen. Loss is still something you need to grieve, which I have been doing lately.

Shutting Doors

When you look at all the cycles in your life, it can be challenging to find the courage within yourself to shut the door at that time in your life. Even if it was painful, disappointing, or negative, there are positive things about people and experiences you might not want to let go of. So you leave the door open just a sliver looking for the memory of that good thing to open the door and walk back into your life. But it will not and the focus you spend looking toward that door, hoping, is not paying attention to the other entries you may be able to open, behind which great things lie.

Who knows what will be hiding behind the next door that opens. It could be great; it could be just ok. Life doesn’t often allow us to choose, and we can only decide our reactions to and actions once they are open. The only thing you can be sure of is that doors will continue to open for you as long as you are alive and functioning. To End, a chapter of your life on your terms can be next to impossible, but how you accept an ending is always up to you. To fight against it is the greatest form of suffering—resistance to the reality of your life.

Be The Force of Change

Each moment presents us with choices, to do what we always have, to believe as we have always believed, or to make a conscious decision to start to think about something else different from the past. In my experience, life provides us with cycles of life that serve to offer us lessons about how to live but, more importantly, about who we are. You can be proactive in your choices of dealing with change by deciding exactly how the end of your chapters will play out for you.

If you seek out the things that need to change and then take positive steps in the direction you want, you initiate the change in your life and create the action. In this way, you are being the hammer of change and involved in just what new things enter and old things end. My experience is that life will reward this type of situation with answers, knowledge, and clarity about your vision of where you can go and the joy you can experience. The hardest part of initiating change is the fear that it won’t work out. But it always does, in its inevitable conclusion. Life will work out if you let it and are willing to accept what comes your way. Only through acceptance can you thoroughly move forward.

Leave the Past

The bottom line in life is that you have to leave the past behind you and live in the present as best you can to make the future the best possible. The people who seem to live best are the ones who can recognize an ending, take a bow, let the audience applaud, and allow the curtain to close. Then take the makeup off, remove their costume and leave the theatre, moving into the next play of their life.

To continually relive old plays is a trap of mediocrity. Each stage we perform in life provides a purpose, and you should never forget the lessons, but do not try to live there. It will only stop you from moving forward. Leave your life moments that have finished where they are and move forward into a great new day. These are easy thoughts to think about but much more difficult in actions taken. Our minds connect to people and things. It is hard to let them go because it is painful when seemingly tangible things turn to dust and leave us. We need to be able to understand why. With the seeming hope, we can avoid painful losses in the future. Perhaps we can make the pain less, but I think pain comes with a purpose and the lessons we learn through it are lasting and valuable as long as you don’t let them make you bitter. Allow them to make you better!!!

“The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”  Steve Maraboli

“Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.”–  Shannon L. Alder.

“If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go the past that drags you down.”   Amit Ray

“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.”  –Deepak Chopra