Tag Archives: New Beginnings

Put The Past Behind You

Life is a strange play. We move through many of our days, never thinking things could be any different. But things are always in a constant state of flux, for the one constant we experience on a minute-to-minute basis is change. It washes over our lives in inevitable portions, perhaps not wanted, but it still comes anyway. When things are not so pleasant, there is hope that changes will bring relief from what you are experiencing today. When things are going well, we hide from change because it will ruin all of our current conquests and the kingdoms we have built.

For me, the last year was an experience in the latter. Things changed for the worse as people I relied on left my life seemingly complete proportions. There was nothing I could do, and I have spent the past months trying to pick up the pieces that used to be me and see where they fit. The feeling of significant loss is a form of suffering, and I can be aware that I had built too many attachments to the way things were. Perhaps too much trust too soon in some people. I have spent too much time looking at the past and wishing things would magically snap back to where they were a year ago. But that hope is holding me back from moving forward into whatever the following stages of my life will bring, which can be equally good if you allow them to happen. Loss is still something you need to grieve, which I have been doing lately.

Shutting Doors

When you look at all the cycles in your life, it can be challenging to find the courage within yourself to shut the door at that time in your life. Even if it was painful, disappointing, or negative, there are positive things about people and experiences you might not want to let go of. So you leave the door open just a sliver looking for the memory of that good thing to open the door and walk back into your life. But it will not and the focus you spend looking toward that door, hoping, is not paying attention to the other entries you may be able to open, behind which great things lie.

Who knows what will be hiding behind the next door that opens. It could be great; it could be just ok. Life doesn’t often allow us to choose, and we can only decide our reactions to and actions once they are open. The only thing you can be sure of is that doors will continue to open for you as long as you are alive and functioning. To End, a chapter of your life on your terms can be next to impossible, but how you accept an ending is always up to you. To fight against it is the greatest form of suffering—resistance to the reality of your life.

Be The Force of Change

Each moment presents us with choices, to do what we always have, to believe as we have always believed, or to make a conscious decision to start to think about something else different from the past. In my experience, life provides us with cycles of life that serve to offer us lessons about how to live but, more importantly, about who we are. You can be proactive in your choices of dealing with change by deciding exactly how the end of your chapters will play out for you.

If you seek out the things that need to change and then take positive steps in the direction you want, you initiate the change in your life and create the action. In this way, you are being the hammer of change and involved in just what new things enter and old things end. My experience is that life will reward this type of situation with answers, knowledge, and clarity about your vision of where you can go and the joy you can experience. The hardest part of initiating change is the fear that it won’t work out. But it always does, in its inevitable conclusion. Life will work out if you let it and are willing to accept what comes your way. Only through acceptance can you thoroughly move forward.

Leave the Past

The bottom line in life is that you have to leave the past behind you and live in the present as best you can to make the future the best possible. The people who seem to live best are the ones who can recognize an ending, take a bow, let the audience applaud, and allow the curtain to close. Then take the makeup off, remove their costume and leave the theatre, moving into the next play of their life.

To continually relive old plays is a trap of mediocrity. Each stage we perform in life provides a purpose, and you should never forget the lessons, but do not try to live there. It will only stop you from moving forward. Leave your life moments that have finished where they are and move forward into a great new day. These are easy thoughts to think about but much more difficult in actions taken. Our minds connect to people and things. It is hard to let them go because it is painful when seemingly tangible things turn to dust and leave us. We need to be able to understand why. With the seeming hope, we can avoid painful losses in the future. Perhaps we can make the pain less, but I think pain comes with a purpose and the lessons we learn through it are lasting and valuable as long as you don’t let them make you bitter. Allow them to make you better!!!

“The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”  Steve Maraboli

“Forget what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.”–  Shannon L. Alder.

“If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go the past that drags you down.”   Amit Ray

“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.”  –Deepak Chopra

 

Have Faith and Move On

What Appears to Be the End is Only a New Beginning

It is hard to let go of things that have ended, one of the most difficult lessons you can learn is all things have a shelf life, and when it is time to what appears to be the end may only be a new beginningmove on, you need to be able to do this with faith. Understanding what you are moving toward is a piece of the puzzle you will need to achieve dreams and have positive things happen for you.

Relationships end, jobs are lost, people relocate, loss occurs, and even though there will be a natural pain coming with these experiences, it is a normal part of the grieving process. It isn’t easy, but it is part of being human.

Many people, including myself, have had issues moving on when a loss occurs. Even though it is obvious the time is ripe for change, new and exciting things are on the horizon. It is human nature to look back at the idealized safety we created in the past instead of moving with courage into a future, allowing you to chase and realize all of your dreams.

Moving led to new beginnings

Moving can be a traumatic experience for anyone, especially when you are a kid. I moved when I was 1, and at the time, I thought it was the biggest tragedy a person could experience. I had a great group of friends I had known all my life, and I knew where I fit in. I was comfortable and happy. Moving was traumatic. I had to deal with people who didn’t know me, and

beautiful reflection
Let Go And Begin Anew

might not like me. There was a lot of initial trauma, and I spent a lot of time worrying about what I was missing out on in life. Still, eventually, as I pushed through the new situation, I made some new friends and had experiences that I would never have had, both positive and negative, that led to growth.

Left to my own choices, I would have taken the most accessible road and missed some great things I have found. Everything in my life has led to growth, allowing me to evolve, and I learned valuable lessons. There was a lot of Idealizing of the past, but there is no way you can argue with your current reality.

Death and Dying

Experiencing a loss of a loved one is difficult to deal with, and nobody would ever characterize it as a good thing. Still, it’s my experience that you can gain something positive from this experience. Perhaps a better appreciation of the relationships you still have in your life or a greater awareness of the world around you. If you think of those who have passed with love, they are always with you. If they are inside your heart, mind, and spirit, a part of them is still alive.

Maybe the lessons that the loved one passed on left with you are lasting things. For myself, everyone whom I have lost has left a positive impact on my life. I am eternally grateful for the gifts they gave me. There were examples of how to live or how to treat other people guiding me through my life. I miss them all. I appreciate them all, they didn’t want to go, but it was their time. Cherish all who matter to you and treat everyone with kindness and dignity.

Losing a Job

When it comes to losing jobs, many have come and gone in my life. Some I liked and was sorry to see them go. Others not so much. In some cases it

starting over not the end
Starting Over Is OK

seemed like the end of the world when the job ended. In retrospect, I can always see the positive that came out of a seemingly negative situation. It could be that it was personal growth or a better experience that allowed me to be happier as a person.

It can be devastating as you get older to start over, but what a great gift it can be to allow you to grow and find what will make you happy. My experience is that the real problems come when you spend your time worrying about the past instead of addressing today. As traumatic as losing a job can be, a job does not define who you are, and your life isn’t ended because you lost a job. Change is life. I have always chosen life.

Relationships Ending

Relationships, unfortunately, end at some point (sometimes). People move, things change, priorities differ, and unexplained cruelness. These lessons are hard to deal with, and these can be with friends, coworkers, or in intimate relationships. All relationships have a cycle, and it is just some are larger and longer than others. If you look at the entire board of life, all relationships eventually end—even the most reliable end with one of the participants’ death.

Every person who comes into your life is there for a reason and often teaches you something. There are friendships I have had that have been lifelong. Some relationships lasted for a few years or even a shorter time. I appreciate them because I have learned a lot from everybody I have ever met. Even those I wish never happened because of the pain they caused brought learning experiences to me. Although sorrow was the teacher, they have made me stronger and hopefully a bit wiser.

Sometimes the lesson was how not to behave or what not to do, but most often, the experience is about how you can grow as a person. Letting go and appreciating the lessons you learned becomes more complicated when emotions are involved. Love is one of the world’s best feelings, but the fear of losing love has led to many personal tragedies. Time is the only cure for love because eventually, everyone gets the lesson and appreciates the great things that love has given them. Ultimately, you have only two choices, learn something or be miserable. Which is a better way to go through life?

The next time you face an apparent ending, take a moment and attempt to add some perspective to the situation. Once you get past the fear of losing something, you may find a silver lining if you allow it to work in your life. Look at what you learned and gained in wisdom and experience. Take that lesson with you into the future, and appreciate those giving you something positive daily. Value the experiences of life, and don’t be afraid of the changes inevitably coming your way. You have changed, life has changed, and everything will change again before you finish with this ride. Embrace all the good moments you have and the people you spend them with.

“You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling, but the staying down.” —Mary Pickford

“Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” —Guy Finley

“The beginning is always today.” —Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” —George Eliot

 

Accepting New Beginnings

moving-on-doesnt-mean-you-forget-about-thingsThere is nothing as exciting as a new beginning.  Reading yesterday, I came across this theme that is often a problem for me and many others. Endings are hard.  All things in the history of the world have had a beginning, a middle, and an end. That is the way of all things.  Often, when the end is harsh, a lingering regret remains, which does not allow a person to let go and move forward. The item you can be sure of is that right now, whatever is happening in your life is changing in some way and moving closer to its inevitable end.  We should be grateful in many ways because, without endings, there would be no new beginnings.

Painful Endings

I have experienced some endings in the job world that have been very difficult and painful. Some have looked to the past with longing and wished I could go ending 3back to the security of that situation or the parts of the job that I enjoyed.  However, looking into the past only brought sadness and regret.  Like many endings, there is no way to move onto something else that perhaps will provide you with greater enjoyment and fulfillment current situation is ended.   Every new beginning comes from an ending of something.

Accepting this can be difficult if it involves a relationship or even death because the emotions around these events will never seem optimistic in any way.  Yet if you analyze the situation, there is a simple choice for you to accept what has happened and move on with your life or to refuse to accept it and live in a past of regret and unhappiness. The choice is always yours.

Tough Relationships

When it comes to relationships, imperfect endings can moving on 2provide you with the learning experiences needed to propel you toward the person who can fulfill your needs.  It is a matter of perspective. That relationship ended because it lacked in some way. There was something that wasn’t fulfilling or favorable for you.

If you knew that within a day,  the person who would fulfill every one of your needs was going to enter your life, would you be all that sad?

In effect, you are holding on to an unfulfilled past at the expense of a complete future.  We often lack the perspective we are in life right now, feeling pain and just trying to survive.  If we could rise above life and look down and observe our paths and the next steps in front of us, we would be much more accepting of the change.  All things in life are generally working toward your greatest good, and fear makes us address things any other way.

Hard Times

We are afraid of the hard times in life because they are not fun to go through, and they hurt and are painful. Yet without these moments of challenge, many people would lack the depth and character that will make them the people they are destined to be.  Perhaps a  perspective needed to be adjusted, or a belief required to be changed to reach their full potential.

Not everything in life will work out how you want it to, but it will give you something that you needed to know to reach your full potential.  It is a fact that no matter what situation you are currently in, it beginnings 4will pass one day and cease to exist. It may be in a day or many years, but even the hardest of times will end and fade into memory. They will leave scars, but those scars will help build the character that will allow you to be the best person you can be if you adhere to their lessons.

Endings can be painful, but there is an excitement of a new beginning that will provide each person with a glimmer of hope in their heart that a dream may come true because of this endeavor. A person will never know unless they dare to accept the ending and the strength to take the step into the future.