Tag Archives: false self

22

True Or False

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There are two parts of our identity, our soul or true self, given to us at birth. It’s the true person we are and the one we are always looking to get back to in life.

The other part of our identity is our ego or false self. This mistaken idea is the person we are programmed to become. We are taught these beliefs from our parents, family members, teachers, peers, and societal influences. The false self, or what others believe we should be, takes us further from our true self.

The further we get from who we are, the more unhappy we become. But we are trapped in an illusion of ego, trying to follow a script that we did not write with our best interests in mind. Most people never consider any part of their existence in any authentic detail or depth. I challenge you to look at your thoughts and beliefs and determine if they bring you closer to your true self or further away.

Some Thoughts of the False Self

  1. Being obsessed with perfection- Many people will never accept anything but perfection. Since perfection is impossible to achieve, this pursuit causes difficulty. It causes some never to give a total effort because they can never achieve perfection. Some will cheat to appear to be perfect. Some will steal to look perfect. Whatever the resulting action, thoughts, and feelings, they will make you feel wrong about who you are.
  2. The feelings of greed, a limited mindset, and selfishness show that the fixed mindset has a stronghold on you. Getting as much as you can, as quickly as possible, is a sign you are lost in excessive desires. What you have doesn’t define who you are and never will. Fearing, you will never have enough is a limiting belief that takes the joy out of everything you have.
  3. New experiences are scary. In the best of circumstances, a unique experience will cause uncomfortable feelings. In less than ideal conditions, fear of participation can result. We all have an innate fear of rejection, humiliation, failure, getting old, and the unknown, and these all lead to resistance, avoidance, and apprehension of new experiences.
  4. They are using incomplete facts and questionable logic to justify everything you do. Because what is happening doesn’t feel”good,” people apply a created justification for what they are doing in life.

How to Find Your True Self

  1. A choice is the first thought process we all have, which will allow or destroy the ability to grow. No matter where you are in life, you can make choices to change your circumstances and have something else happen for you. If you are unhappy with your situation in life, you can choose another way. It is easy to feel trapped by circumstances, but that is a choice. There is a power in choosing your action based on what you think is right that empowers dreams and gives positive energy to your life.
  2. Faith in yourself and life, in general, will allow you the ability to seek growth. All things will work out, one way or another. Even if you can’t see how they are going to come true, pursuing your goals is one of the most potent acts of faith you can undertake. Looking at how specific actions lead to thoughts and emotions that attract or repel you. Having faith that the best of things is coming your way, even when it seems dark and far away at the moment, is a genuine act of strength. Faith that you will find your significant purpose.
  3. Seeking growth opportunities in your life. Dismiss the idea that you have to be perfect in every way because it is an unreachable standard. If you approach all things as if you can master them with a bit of practice and dedication, you will be able to do just that. Having natural ability is helpful, but those who work to improve will always benefit the most and, in the long run, be able to handle challenges and setbacks. There is a strength we develop about this time. Shift your focus from, I know everything! To I can learn anything.
  4. Surrender to what is. This is the movement of the soul. Resistance is the voice of the ego. The former pulls you closer to your true self, and the latter pushes you further away. Fear is the ego’s tool, but surrender does not mean you accept poor treatment or behavior from another. You recognize it for what it is, which will dictate your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Most often, to accept a situation means you can leave a wrong place or difficult circumstances for something more positive.

It is up to each individual in the world to decide if they are going to seek their real purpose in life or follow the general script that society has programmed into them. Each person has a destiny when they enter the world, some task to accomplish, a message to leave, or some work. Our lives have meaning, and it is up to us to determine if we are following our correct path or not. You are a powerful force of destiny, but you have to start by looking for who you are and what that purpose is. Our most important journey is to leave ego and live our life from the soul.

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.” ―Winston S. Churchil

“The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, and we get lost; we turn back. Maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.” ―Barbara Hal”

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they are not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ―Dalai Lama

 

21

Soul Benefit

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your soul
Listen……….in the quiet there is an answer.

All the decisions we make are for the benefit of our soul, or they exist to feed our egoic identity. Your soul is your true self; you were born to be. All the things you do and your decisions in this area will be positive, feel good, and resonate with you. Then there are the choices we make because of the ego. These are choices made in fear and generally pull us further away from who we are.

The goal is to make more decisions that benefit our souls and remind us of all the things that make us happy, productive, and whole.  The problem is that our ego has pushed us into situations to distract us from our true identity and move us in directions further from our purpose toward filling our programming. The goal is to start to recognize which of your choices are doing what. Are they moving you closer to your soul or true self, or are they pushing you further away? The best test is to ask yourself every day, “Am I becoming the person I was meant to be?” Let the proper answer guide you.

Your Soul and Why You May Not Know It

Since your soul is your true self, when you strip away all of the things you identify with, which aren’t you, job, money, possessions, what others think of you, or more accurately, what you feel about yourself, you are left with your soul. It is an accurate representation of your connection with a creator and all other people in the world. There is no fear, anger, or judgment located here. A person living from the decisions their soul makes is going to be the best version of themselves.

The restlessness you feel about life comes from not living up to that version. Knowing your best is there inside you, but not learning how to let it out or share your skills with the world.  Most people have some of these feelings and are unaware they have another choice.

We pursue things others have told us we should want and never consider what we might want ourselves. We are too worried about looking silly or disappointing a parent, peer, partner, or imaginary audience. Look inside yourself and see what appeals to you and give it a try. The key to understanding the soul comes from creativity because you can lose yourself in a drawing, a painting, a carving, or just restoring a piece of furniture. The act consumes your attention and quiets your mind, and that allows your soul to speak to you.  Positive feelings will move you in the right direction.

Know The Ego

The ego has a distinctive negative voice, as well.  It has a constant need to try to control everything and everybody out of the misguided thought that if you control everything, then nothing painful will ever happen.  This need resists change and growth and makes all involved unhappy.  There is also a need for approval from others, which stops one from stepping out and trying something bold and brand new.

If you wait for the approval of others to let your true self shine through, you will end up living your whole life falsely.  And finally, the voice of the ego loves to express itself in the judgment of others and yourself. To judge is to be unaccepting of others, their contribution, and their differences because their differences make you feel wrong.  Rather than accepting disagreements that the soul would welcome because we are all different, those differences make us glorious.

Choose The Soul

It is a magic of people that we all have within us a divine presence, and it exists in your soul. It is the thing that connects us all with all living things if you allow yourself to feel it.  Each decision is either for the soul and becoming the best version of yourself or egoic thought, which stifles healthy growth, attempts to control things, and pushes people down paths they will not be happy traveling.  Egoic change occurs subconsciously, and if you don’t examine your thoughts at all, they probably come from that area.

But conscious thought is a guide to your soul and your true, best self. Look at your thoughts honestly and see what they are telling you. Notice what they are telling the world about you.  If we all were motivated to become the best version of ourselves, imagine what the world would look like operating from that place. We are born as a soul, and the ego we develop over time. Work your way backward and find your true self.

Thinking consciously about the things which resonate with you and bring joy to your life will allow those things to become a part of your reality. Of course, there are steep hurdles to jump in this pursuit.  We have established programming which creates our beliefs and creates our intentions in what things we have in our lives.

What would your life look like if you made only choices which made you happy?

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.  – Aristotle

Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul. – Democritus

 Begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul. –Wayne Dyer

 Each person has an idea, a hope, a dream which represents the soul. We must give to it the warmth of love, the light of understanding, and the essence of encouragement. – Colby Dorr Dam

21

Authentic

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real meHow much of your time is spent being an authentic you? How much is spent acting like you feel our culture determines you to be?   How is that identity even established? What difference does it make?  So much of our time is spent developing this persona, which, when examined closely, isn’t very real at all.  We create this imposter ourselves by trying to fit into the roles our culture demands.  Go to college, get married, have a career for thirty years, retire and wait to die.  If it isn’t time to let go of that false now, then it never will be.

False Self

Each day there is an image of myself that I imagine the world sees.  What precisely the idea entails is a mystery. I certainly hope that intelligence, kindness, and caring are a part of the picture.  It is not the substance that concerns me, and it is the inability to ask for help or even appear vulnerable that is bothersome. There are times when people get lost, down, and dangerously sad, but still put on a convincing smile and hide the pain and suffering you are feeling.

The pain and suffering are what they are. Each person has found their own story of this anguish. Although nobody would call pain and suffering good companions,  they can supply a sufficient education and help develop a depth of character that didn’t exist before. Kindness is no longer a word but an action. Understanding someone’s actions comes far before judgment because of my education in this area. Recognizing the false self isn’t who you are but who you think you should be to fit in.  Put all the thoughts of others aside and start to listen to your intuition about what will make you happy.

I Let It Go

letting go 2It has become time for me to let go of what others think and what I feel about myself because of the fear that others might contemplate my choices, decisions, and thoughts. For the first time in my life, I have to embrace who I am, faults and shortcomings included.

I feel that only by doing this can I move forward, away from the falseness of the past and toward a future that includes an honest reckoning of what I want to accomplish in life.  Time to let go of the expectations that I feel others have built up in my life, embracing the contribution that I can make that matters is only as myself. Not a prefabricated idea of a person that is only an illusion of living.

The True X Marks the Spot

In all of the greatest stories about treasure, there is

What treasure is located at your X?
What glory is located at your X?

Always a map, and at the location of the great treasure, there is a giant X.  There are many twists and turns on the path to get to this place, and often danger exists. I think that my true self is a lot like that. There is a valuable treasure of gold if you can reach the X, but getting there has been a tough road, sometimes fraught with danger and difficulty.  Inside there were more profound struggles than anyone on the outside could know.  I feel like slowly, but surely the X is coming into view for me.

Have you found yours?

21

Our Battle

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Winning The Battle In Each Of Us

Winning the Inner Battle

Inside every person in the world, there exists a conflict between your two selves.

Students of psychology have several different names for these “voices.” Some refer to them as your ego, or perhaps your superego, but I will address these two voices as False–Self and True-Self for my purposes.

These two entities are constantly battling for control of our thoughts and actions.  If you don’t believe it, who answers you in your head when you ask the simplest question?  One voice asks the other one answers.  It happens all of the time.  Now let’s get to meet your two voices.

Sometimes You’re Hard On Yourself

Too-much-EgoSelf I(ego, primitive self, jerk, whatever you want to call it.) is your stern voice. It is a know-it who does nothing but issue commands and judges every result.

This is the voice that will tell you that you are stupid for trying, or that will never work, or call you an idiot when things don’t quite turn out the way that you hoped.  This voice has been building inside you since you were born to protect you from disappointment, to keep you safe.

It doesn’t mean to stagnate your growth or cause you to carry around an impossibly negative attitude towards everything and everybody.  You will see this voice in evidence in people who continually judge others and always believe that their way is the best.

Now their way maybe, in fact, the best way, but if this voice dominates someone, they will never seek anything outside of their experience because to do so would put at risk the status quo, and that would be too scary for them to deal with.

Fear of the unknown can make many individuals cling to their old ways and habits, simply because although they may be bad, they are a known entity, and better to feel bad continually by something that you know than to risk something new.

Raising your level of hope that things can get better only to be disappointed is just too scary for most people.  It is much safer never to try and not know how you would fare than to try and fail.  Failure is only one more step to success, and without taking steps, you may never find it.

Say Hello to your true self.

Self II is the voice of your subconscious mind, the absolutely human part of your mind that subconscious-mind-powerwill create creative scenarios and ideas for you to follow.

This voice will urge you to pursue your talents and try to create something great, ignoring the critical “Self I” voice and all of its defense-minded musings.  This voice will tell you about all of your natural potentials and inform you about the skills and capabilities that you possess that will enable you to act and achieve almost anything that you have put your mind to accomplishing.

This ability to rely on ourselves and continue to develop and release our potential, I think, is what most people are looking for in life.  We have the skills and talents to achieve most things we set our minds toward doing if we allow our true talents to shine through the naturally negative expectations of ourselves and others.

People who have achieved greatness in any field, to some degree, and at some point in their life were able to find, listen to and follow this positive inner voice.

Simple Path to Success

success-sketch
I love this picture! Thank you, Google Images!

The simple path to success involves recognizing your own limiting voice and choosing to ignore it and listen to your inner positive voice, allowing you to succeed in the path you should follow.

Finding your ability to hear your own positive voice will enable you to continue to grow as a person and release your nearly unlimited potential to do whatever it is you set your mind to.

Ignoring the negative voice in you that says nothing but negative and judgmental things will allow your positive attitude to bloom into whatever you dream for it to be.  Being the best that you can be is within you.

All people have the ability within themselves to be great and powerful person including both you and me.

The following song is for all of the “Boxing” we do with ourselves.  We all do it, and it is unnecessary we are all on the same team.