Tag Archives: don’t be a door mat

A Better Me

Some of our thoughts and activities are ingrained in our minds and behavior that we don’t even question their presence when they come into our consciousness. Taking a moment and becoming more mindful of your behavior and thoughts will allow you to become more positive in all that you do. Sometimes there are poor actions toward other people we participate in, which do not let us be the best versions of ourselves.

These are things we accept all the time, but they are not loving acts toward ourselves, others, or life in general. Eliminate these things, and life will be a happier, kinder, and more enjoyable experience. Here are a few examples of things that we should avoid doing.

  • Pretending that something didn’t happen or what happened didn’t matter. If you have feelings of suffering because of something, then it matters. Anything you wish to address in life starts by identifying a problem and developing a clear understanding of why it bothers you to the best of your ability. Ignoring things or pretending they don’t worry will lead to resentment and anger. Speak and deal with suffering all the time; it is always healthy.
  • Acting like you are OK when you are not. All people have done this. Nobody wants to look weak, and some people can’t accept help. It is the fixed mindset that strong people can handle everything efficiently. That is not the case; strong people know when to ask for help. It is a sign of intelligence. Never be afraid to admit to yourself or somebody you care about that you need something. When asked, you should go out of your way to be there for anyone who needs you.
  • Accepting Bad Behavior from Others. Poor behavior from someone else should not be tolerated. If you see someone doing something that doesn’t resonate with you, don’t accept it. If it is someone you care about, then they should understand. If someone is continually participating in behavior, you don’t like it, and you always have the choice to find a higher quality of people to spend your time with. It can be challenging when you have feelings for someone, but when they continually show you, they are not living a healthy-minded life, distance yourself.
  • Excusing Wrong-Doing by Pretending that it is all right. If you think something is wrong, you have an obligation to yourself to say something, or you are complicit in that act. We all have a personal code, and pretending that something is OK to keep the peace in a relationship will end in pain. Don’t allow someone to treat you with anything less than honesty, integrity, and dignity.
  • Allowing Yourself to be a Doormat. Of course, this isn’t OK. Accept nothing but the best from the people you spend time with. Anyone who would treat you and your feelings like a doormat must be asked to leave your life. All people have value in life, opinions that matter, and shouldn’t be subject to treatment that is any less.
  • Blaming Yourself for Other people’s Poor Behavior- Sometimes, people look at poor behavior from others and blame themselves for making them behave that way. People who act abusively or neglectfully are practicing learned behavior, which can be shifted and unlearned if they realize it is wrong. Never accept blame for someone else’s actions; be your person and responsible for yourself. That is the best we can do.
  • Never Dismiss Your Feelings-  All thoughts lead to emotions. You are going to have positive and negative emotions. The negative ones are usually there to warn you and protect you from pain. Deal with them. Where did they come from? Are they valid? Talk about them, work through them. All feelings you have are proper for you and your experience. Never dismiss them.

These are a few instances that I think people fall into and cause harm to themselves and those they are in relationships with. Always have pride in yourself and seek out the positive things in life. It is never a loving act to allow malicious behavior in your life, especially toward you.

Remember, if somebody continually mistreats you, there is something wrong with them, not you. Ordinary people don’t go around injuring others for no good reason. 

“It takes very little to govern good people—very little. And bad people can’t be governed at all. Or, if they could, I never heard of it.” Cormac Mccarthy

The moment you feel you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment to absolutely and utterly walk away.” Alysia Harris

Being nice to those who treat you badly isn’t being fake. Your spiritual maturity has risen above the desire for vengeance.” Michael Binot

 

People who are mean or unkind or rigid – think about it – cannot laugh at themselves.” Eileen Brennan