Tag Archives: Ego

22

The Voices in Your Head

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egoKeep an eye on your ego. What can you do right now that is going to change your life?

That is a question that more and more people ask because they look at their lives and feel that it lacks in some way. At this point, people start to look at the possibilities, and almost as quickly as they think of something they would like to do, there is a competing voice explaining why it is a bad idea. Give it a try, find that great idea, project, or sure money-making thing, and then wait a few minutes. The voice of your ego will speak up to maintain the safe status quo.

It is no wonder we are often confused and discouraged. Learning to listen to your cheerful voice and ignore your ego’s negative chiming is one of the most valuable life skills that a person can develop.

Our Negative Voice or Ego

The negative voice in our head has had a lot of practice letting us know egowhat is possible and, more often than not, what is impossible. This is the voice of our ego based on the conditioning of life. From society, from our parents, teachers, peers, media, and anyone else we have listened to since we came into this world. It has become a constant companion to stop you from doing something “dangerous” or feeling the pain of failure. Or, more often than not, it is to allow you to fit in.

This egoic voice has been a part of our lives that we don’t even notice anymore. We accept the limits as “common sense” or “a fact” when there is nothing logical or factual about limiting who we are. Ask yourself, why not?

Positive Voice Cancels Ego

A cheerful voice in all of us knows what we want to try. It creative voicealways has and has been in constant competition with the voice of the ego. What do you dream about? Travel, a new career, a great relationship, and having millions of dollars are prevalent dreams, but think of your goals and listen to the limiting thoughts that follow.

Travel, “I can’t possibly get away, and I have obligations. Maybe next year.”

Relationships, “Nobody gets me. All of the good ones are taken. They are all crazy.” These limiting beliefs we choose to listen to will bring precisely what we have always experienced into our lives. At best, in a bad relationship or, at worst, alone.

Suppose you want something in your life. Then you must try to do it and learn to ignore the persistently negative voice of the ego in your head. You are a creative person with good ideas, and attempting to implement them will bring something positive into your life. Why not take a risk? Why not follow your dream? It is only through the effort of trying your goals have any chance of happening. Not trying because of fear, doubt, or negative thinking is the coward’s way out. Don’t go out that way in life.

You Can Do Anything

The bottom line is that you can do anything you want, and the chase dreamschoice is yours to follow the creative voice inside you, do what you feel you should, and ignore the negative limiting beliefs of ego that our lives have saddled us with.

We are in control of our experience in life, and that comes from the daily choices we make to be our dream, try what our creativity calls us to do, or retreat into the safety of our mediocre existence. We have this choice each day a thousand times. The next time you have an idea, your negative voice starts to tell you why it is unreasonable, and a positive could never happen. Ignore that voice of ego and focus on the thought of, “Why not!”

 

22

Some Things that Aren’t True

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We all have an ego, which feeds us information about ourselves and life that isn’t true.

Which defines you.

Most thoughts the Ego creates stem from fear and are designed to keep you from making ANY changes. It just wants you to stay in the known. But the problem is that most of your greatness and dreams lie in the unknown, which can be scary. The Ego is your false self, a voice in your head telling you things to limit you.

This little writing is about some daily popular lies your Ego creates for you. If you do nothing else, look at your thoughts objectively and see if they are in your best interest. If they are causing you to suffer, harm yourself, and not allowing you to step into the best possible version of yourself, then make a change. Of course, like all things, YOU are the one who needs to make the decision.

Lie # 1 You are what you own.

Your are not what you own
You are much more than this……

Many of us buy into this one. Our Ego equates accumulating things with being critical, safe, successful, and happy. Yet, even though this thought is in our heads, experience teaches everyone that the enormous pile of material goods will not make you a good person. Once a purchase is made, there is a momentary feeling of gratification followed by a search for the next thrill of possession. If only it were this simple. Buy something and be a better person. The funny thing is that what you own will never make you happy.

Our society is so consumer-oriented, and we are all conditioned to consume from birth. Propaganda teaches what things you need to be popular, influential, or successful. If a person feels a lack, we are introduced to fill it with popular clothing or highly processed foods loaded with sugar. All of that is not going to make you any closer to happiness. You are what you own is a lie that we all believe, but it is still a lie. In the end, when you are taking your last breath in this drama called life, you will not be thinking about the things you own. You will wish for the people who mattered to you—those you loved and loved you back, even for a short time. The lies of the Ego push love to the background with a need to make you safe. What you own doesn’t create character, love, enjoyment, or happiness. Find your true self.

Lie # 2 You are what you do for a living.

In American society, this is particularly true. When you

You are not your job
Are you happy?

Meet someone, and one of the first questions asked is, what do you do for a living? Why? We can glean their success, value, and personal development by the profession one decides to pursue. This is a lie, as well. What someone does for work does not define their character, caring, kindness, and ability to care about others. This is your Ego, looking to measure yourself against someone else and making yourself feel better about your life, choices, and prospects. It has no merit at all as to your value and contributions as a person. A profession is what you do to make money, not who you are.

This is your Ego, looking to measure yourself against someone else and making yourself feel better about your life, choices, and prospects. It has no merit at all as to your value and contributions as a person. A profession is what you do to make money, not who you are. A better question to ask a person you just met is, “What excites you right now?”  That passion is a more realistic indicator of what a person is all about.

What you choose to do to make money is not a vote of confidence or an indictment of your ability; it is a reflection of current circumstances. The e will change but will still have little to do with your value, and your actions will show this.

Lie # 3: What others think of you defines you.

One of the most harmful lies your Ego tells you. It  s a simple fact that some people are going to love you,

Prison of what others think
Who wants to live in prison?

Some are going not to like you so much. Most of the reasons for this have nothing to do with you but more with that person’s biases and experiences. When someone notices something about another that bothers them, it reflects something they don’t like about themselves.

Often, I have created imaginary thoughts in others’ minds, in which I make explicit assumptions about their thoughts of me with absolutely no factual evidence. To give validity to these thoughts (which don’t exist) is insane.  So  thoughts that help me – 1. What someone else thinks of me is none of my business. 2. Ego is not who you are ev r form assumptions about another’s thoughts. 3. if someone thinks something negative about you, it doesn’t make it accurate.

One of the most challenging lessons here is not caring about what others think about you. Your thoughts and feelings about what you do should be necessary.

The bottom line is that you have control over the thoughts that you entertain and add validity to in your life. Cho sing to add value to negative thoughts about yourself is a self-defeating activity that can be changed at any moment.  You are not your possessions, your job, or what others think of you……….That begs the question, “Who are you then?”  Looking for this answer is the first step to expanding consciousness, a deeper understanding of life, and a feeling of fulfillment.

22

The Natural Path of Life

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How well do you react to change? If you are like most people, the answer is not very well. All of us seem to have a natural resistance to anything being different. We continually cling to old ways, even when they have become outdated and inefficient. We adhere to careers we no longer like or living situations that make us unhappy because there is a healthy level of fear about doing something different.

But if you never try anything other than what you already do, you never evolve, and your ideas, thoughts, and emotions never become original. The growth we experience is the natural path of our lives, and all we need is to muster up a little courage to accept the changes happening all around us all the time.

Resistance

There is a natural resistance that exists in people to fight change. It is there personally as people cling to routines and avoid growing on an individual basis. Resistance also exists on a larger scale, as only well-tried and accurate methods of doing things will be accepted, and all other ideas are dismissed or even attacked. Not because they are wrong, but because they are different. All of the social upheavals in the 20th Century provided excellent examples of this. The Civil Rights movement seems like a common sense thing today. Of course, all people are equal.

But fear developed over the years and made people resist messing with the conventional way and societal expectations.

Of course, today, I would like to think that our society has solved the problem, but racial divides seem to permeate all of our community still, and at their roots are people who are resistant to change and unwilling to grow. There will be moments of resistance to change in our lives, even though change is a constant and inevitable experience.

The consciousness of your thoughts is the answer to defeating resistance. We see our beliefs as to what they are and where they guide us. The voice of your ego resists change. The ego exists and grows in the background of your unconscious mind. Its main objective is survival. So when you are in a safe situation, your ego will generate thoughts to keep you there. You would never change or grow. No matter what fantasies your ego creates, life will find a way of making change happen.

Allowing and Acceptance of  Change

There are two ways to deal with life; you can fight or flow with it. Resistance and fighting come when we think we have all the answers. Flow happens when we realize that there will be continual adjustments and changes to the experience and allow them to happen and accept them as they are. All things, our lives, careers, and relationships have a shelf life, and that is just a fact. Like life itself, all items will not last forever. It is in this scarcity that provides the value a thing possesses. Each moment in a situation should be cherished and enjoyed. Allow the lessons and the joy of the moment to seep into your consciousness and teach you precisely what it is supposed to.

Some changes will be painful, and there is a lesson in the pain. To lose something valuable to you is an experience that will allow you to become more selfish or open up and share more of yourself. Accept what happened, take responsibility for where you are, and move forward with an open heart and clear mind. Your journey isn’t over, and many great things are still to come. It is a life skill to learn to allow things to change because it will happen whether you like it or not. To accept and recognize is the action of the soul. To resist and fight is the ego.

“Transformation is not five minutes from now; it’s a present activity. At this moment, you can make a different choice, and these small choices and successes build up over time to help cultivate a healthy self-image and self-esteem.” —Jillian Michaels.

“Transformation means going beyond your form.” —said Wayne Dyer.

The only way to make sense of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.

 

22

The Best Version of You

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Once you choose START WALKING

All people find themselves at a point of decision in life. The way you decide to walk will determine much about your journey.  We are all on a trip from birth to death, and, in between, we make the choices defining us. What do you do? How do you choose the direction?

The answer I hope to find in this writing. Our minds are valuable tools; they provide information, ideas, and thoughts. Unfortunately, these things are often not very accurate because of the faulty programming of our pasts.  But we can overcome all of this, use our minds to accomplish great things, and become the best versions of ourselves. It just takes a little work, and the path will become apparent to you.

Programming Problems

Human beings are exceptional. From the moment we are born, we take in information and attempt to understand how to fit into the world, survive and thrive.  We look at how people treat us, other people, and situations to glean valuable bits of information about how to play this game.  We choose the things which work for us and stick to them, adopting them as the beliefs behind our lives. If you tried something new, failed, and were ridiculed for it, you were conditioned not to try anything out of your comfort zone again.

Random comments, nicknames, attitudes, and thoughts of others can make a lifelong impression, and if the tone is negative, these are a part of our self-image.  The source can be a parent, role model, peer, or even something seen in the media. These are lasting impressions and, once accepted, are a part of our paradigm of life, the rules we apply to the world.  These beliefs can be about our talents, worth, money, relationships, and all aspects of what makes us, us.  If left unchecked or unchallenged, a negative belief will be a part of our subconscious programming until the day we die.  We are in control of this, though.

Changing our Negative Beliefs

It is not a complicated process to change a belief. But it isn’t easy. Change is hard in any circumstance; it is frightening when you look inside yourself and honestly see an area needing a replacement.  Our ego is a part of our mind designed to keep us safe. The voice in your head tells you to be afraid of new things and attacks new ideas.  Doubt arises because of the fear of being harmed by trying something new. Even though a new career is the best option, the ego will fill your head full of doubt. A head full of uncertainty will have a difficult time making a choice.

Clearing the voice of doubt can be done by consistently presenting contrary facts.  It seems people will resist the truths in front of them until it becomes overwhelming. Life forces a change through circumstances. Usually, change comes when there is no other real choice. But if you plan a little, you can control the difference and even dictate how it moves in your life.  Realistic goal setting is one way.  What will make you happy? What career interests you? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Ten years? These might be an excellent place to start. Honestly, answering them for yourself about what resonates with your soul will show you which direction you should start to walk.

Goals Are Guides

Setting goals are one of the mainstays of achievement. However, there is little formal education on goal setting and completing these goals.  There is a direct relationship between setting goals and the progress which results. A plan will provide a target to shoot for and dictate the actions you take daily to reach your ideal result.  You may be the best archer globally, but without a clear target to shoot at, all of your arrows will go astray. Give yourself the goal and put your focus on that.  Allow your actions to follow the intention.

Setting a goal is not difficult, but having the courage and consistency to accomplish them is.  It can be tricky because of the programming mentioned above and what we believe about ourselves, our talents, the world, and the nature of life.  If it were easy, there would be no accomplishment. The great thing is that all people can do it. Learning to focus your thoughts on what you truly want in life, walk that path, and stick to it will result.  Life is not a passive play. If you approach it like that, nothing will happen.  Life is an activity, and you will never finish until it is over.

Taking the First Steps

If you are standing at a crossroads in your life, wondering which direction to walk, look inward and make the big decision of what you want. Then create your goal.  There will be many doubts, but you have to learn to put them aside or continue standing still, doing nothing.  If you set a goal, achieve it, and realize you want something else, then good for you! You will have another journey ahead, and you will always have another adventure to walk, which is a good thing in life.

Sit down, choose your direction, be proactive, and write your goal down in bright letters.  Spend time imagining what the accomplished goal will look like and feel like to accomplish.  Keep your focus until your dream enters reality, letting your daily actions be steps toward this desired end.  Consistent massive action will provide you with the information you need. The energy of life responds to your actions.  Taking action makes things happen; standing still makes nothing happen.  You are in control of this. You alone decide the energy and movement of your life. You are the only one responsible, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about your accomplishments except for yourself.

Choose your path and start to walk it. Once you set an intention through goal setting and set out to accomplish it with a positive outlook, you will see things fall into place for you. Help will come; things will work out for the best. What path are you choosing to walk?

Goal Setting Quotes:

“All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.” —Orison Swett Marden

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie.

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” —Pablo Picasso.

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” —Earl Nightingale.

“By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands—your own.” —Mark Victor Hansen.

You have the chance to be great, take it!!

Chances lost are hope’s torn out pages.
Maybe this time…………….

22

Success Isn’t Everything

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Success– the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

success questionsSuccess is something all people aspire to. It is the signal that our efforts have allowed us to move forward to achieving the things we want in our lives.  Accomplishments could be personal or professional, but one of the best ways to guide yourself toward success is to ask yourself the right questions about how you are progressing each day.  This process is a shift in consciousness for most people. Either you are drifting on a river going where life takes you, or you are steering your raft toward your success.  The paddle you drive is the question you ask yourself.  It starts with a conscious awareness of your thoughts, emotions, words, and actions to pursue your desired purpose and issues that will take you there.

Why Questions Build Success

Questions are a tool that can change your whole focus in your day.  Asking the right questions will provide focus and direction for a day. There is a reason you should question yourself.  First, an item will immediately change your attention, and changing that focus to a goal will bring answers to success questionsyou. What can I do today to help move me closer to a dream, purpose, or objective?  Where focus goes, energy flows.

What action can I take to become wealthier today?  What things can I do to build better relationships? What activities will make me happy today?  Each question will focus on that thing, and even if you don’t know for sure what to do, suggestions will come to your mind—usually a lot of them.  Then you can whittle them down to the ones you feel are valuable to your growth path. Often the first ones that come to your mind are pretty poignant.  It is good to be open to all options and not dismiss potential answers automatically.  Weigh your focused suggestions carefully, then choose the best actions.  Of course, to accomplish anything and use those questions, your answers need to be followed up with actions. Work makes everything happen.

Success May Come From Deleting Information

Another significant side effect of asking the right questions and honestly seeking an answer is your focus tends to cut through the opposition you might have to a goal.  You may have to make changes, and with change success questionscomes risk. Risk of failure, risk of learning, and most importantly, a chance of what others will think of most people.   A good question will get you to focus on what you want and delete what you don’t want.

What can I stop doing that hinders my success?  What things prevent me from accomplishing my goals?  Answer these questions and delete those barriers from your life, and you will be on your way to success.  Identifying the situations, actions, and people that hold you back allows you to stay clear of these things and work toward accomplishing the aim or purpose you seek.  How can this work for you?  That answer is up to you and the actions that result from your solution.

It Won’t Always be Easy.

Of course, the journey toward your success will not always be comfortable, but using the right questions can also help you navigate any rough waters you encounter. We are not born with all the knowledge and skills we need to success questionsaccomplish some things.  The education we need often comes from experience, and those experiences may seem complicated and unwanted.  For example, losing a job for any reason can be tough to deal with one’s life.  But along with that change comes opportunity.

Where is the opportunity here I am not seeing?  What can I do now things are changing? What can I learn from this?  How can I turn this around?  Any of these questions will bring answers to guide you. All situations provide information and use them to learn and grow.  What other positive choices do you have?  Questions can reveal the resources available to you and improve your outlook, production, and performance in your life.

Success is a matter of the Right Questions.

Learning to develop a definite pattern of questions for yourself can help build a consistent tool to empower you to overcome obstacles and reach the successes you desire to experience in your life.  The items will steer your focus toward solutions and away from the distractions and self-pity our minds often provide.  Look consciously at your goals and what is stopping you from reaching them today.

Make the conscious choice to see the possibilities in your challenges, leading you toward your goals and desires.  It all begins with a focus on the thoughts you entertain, the emotions they elicit, the words you use to express them, and the actions you take.  Your success today may be one good question away.

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco

“The key to wisdom is this – constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting, we are led to question, by questioning we arrive at the truth.” – Peter Abelard

“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.” – Francis Bacon

Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?  – the musical question only you can answer for success today.

 

 

 

22

True Or False

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There are two parts of our identity, our soul or true self, given to us at birth. It’s the true person we are and the one we are always looking to get back to in life.

The other part of our identity is our ego or false self. This mistaken idea is the person we are programmed to become. We are taught these beliefs from our parents, family members, teachers, peers, and societal influences. The false self, or what others believe we should be, takes us further from our true self.

The further we get from who we are, the more unhappy we become. But we are trapped in an illusion of ego, trying to follow a script that we did not write with our best interests in mind. Most people never consider any part of their existence in any authentic detail or depth. I challenge you to look at your thoughts and beliefs and determine if they bring you closer to your true self or further away.

Some Thoughts of the False Self

  1. Being obsessed with perfection- Many people will never accept anything but perfection. Since perfection is impossible to achieve, this pursuit causes difficulty. It causes some never to give a total effort because they can never achieve perfection. Some will cheat to appear to be perfect. Some will steal to look perfect. Whatever the resulting action, thoughts, and feelings, they will make you feel wrong about who you are.
  2. The feelings of greed, a limited mindset, and selfishness show that the fixed mindset has a stronghold on you. Getting as much as you can, as quickly as possible, is a sign you are lost in excessive desires. What you have doesn’t define who you are and never will. Fearing, you will never have enough is a limiting belief that takes the joy out of everything you have.
  3. New experiences are scary. In the best of circumstances, a unique experience will cause uncomfortable feelings. In less than ideal conditions, fear of participation can result. We all have an innate fear of rejection, humiliation, failure, getting old, and the unknown, and these all lead to resistance, avoidance, and apprehension of new experiences.
  4. They are using incomplete facts and questionable logic to justify everything you do. Because what is happening doesn’t feel”good,” people apply a created justification for what they are doing in life.

How to Find Your True Self

  1. A choice is the first thought process we all have, which will allow or destroy the ability to grow. No matter where you are in life, you can make choices to change your circumstances and have something else happen for you. If you are unhappy with your situation in life, you can choose another way. It is easy to feel trapped by circumstances, but that is a choice. There is a power in choosing your action based on what you think is right that empowers dreams and gives positive energy to your life.
  2. Faith in yourself and life, in general, will allow you the ability to seek growth. All things will work out, one way or another. Even if you can’t see how they are going to come true, pursuing your goals is one of the most potent acts of faith you can undertake. Looking at how specific actions lead to thoughts and emotions that attract or repel you. Having faith that the best of things is coming your way, even when it seems dark and far away at the moment, is a genuine act of strength. Faith that you will find your significant purpose.
  3. Seeking growth opportunities in your life. Dismiss the idea that you have to be perfect in every way because it is an unreachable standard. If you approach all things as if you can master them with a bit of practice and dedication, you will be able to do just that. Having natural ability is helpful, but those who work to improve will always benefit the most and, in the long run, be able to handle challenges and setbacks. There is a strength we develop about this time. Shift your focus from, I know everything! To I can learn anything.
  4. Surrender to what is. This is the movement of the soul. Resistance is the voice of the ego. The former pulls you closer to your true self, and the latter pushes you further away. Fear is the ego’s tool, but surrender does not mean you accept poor treatment or behavior from another. You recognize it for what it is, which will dictate your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Most often, to accept a situation means you can leave a wrong place or difficult circumstances for something more positive.

It is up to each individual in the world to decide if they are going to seek their real purpose in life or follow the general script that society has programmed into them. Each person has a destiny when they enter the world, some task to accomplish, a message to leave, or some work. Our lives have meaning, and it is up to us to determine if we are following our correct path or not. You are a powerful force of destiny, but you have to start by looking for who you are and what that purpose is. Our most important journey is to leave ego and live our life from the soul.

“It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.” ―Winston S. Churchil

“The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, and we get lost; we turn back. Maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.” ―Barbara Hal”

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they are not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ―Dalai Lama

 

22

My False Self

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MASTERING YOUR Ego

As you move through this day, please take a moment and become conscious of your thoughts and how they affect your emotions, the words you speak, and the actions you make each day.

Your ego is the false self we have created over time to protect ourselves in this world. It is not who we are but who we need to become to avoid pain. Ok, at your thoughts today. Notice the ones that are from a positive space or those that are from your ego. The ego’s voice cares very little about your happiness and certainly doesn’t care about the happiness of others. It cares about eliminating pain from your life. There are three messages to ignore. If you want to find absolute joy in life, you have to learn to move beyond your ego.

Control

The ego loves to send messages which seem to control everything. If you can try to control the people, circumstances, and activities of your life, you can make sure that nothing unexpected that will cause you pain will arise. This, of course, is impossible, and those in your life are not going to be free or happy trying to deal with your constant need for control. Control of this kind is only an illusion and will eventually end badly.

Try to plan for the future as best you can, but live in the present and do not form an attachment with a particular manner in which events unfold. Make positive choices pursue your goals and dreams. Take action toward them, and then allow the journey to guide you. Control is an illusion of the ego, created to make you think you are in charge of things. You are only human and will be disappointed if this is your goal. Let o try to control every aspect of life and enjoy living that will defeat the voice of ego.

Approval

At some point in life, most of us seek the approval of others to justify our value. Parents, peers, or society, in general, are our judges, and we measure our accomplishments according to the positive approval we receive. The need for support and worrying about what others think of us can be lifelong debilitation. If you live to be what others approve of, you never live life yourself. You feel you need or want to do will be pushed to the back. Creativity is put on the back burner because it doesn’t make any money.

Look to follow your heart and not care what others think, and you will defeat your egoic thoughts. The ego wants you to fit in, be one of the crowd, and never stand out or be original because it may lead to minimal ridicule. Better to be ridiculed for being yourself than to live a life never being truly who you are. Be what you are and let the world love it or hate it. That will defeat the egoic voice in your head.

Judgment

The need to judge others and point out their flaws is simple to understand. If you point out the flaws in others, you are automatically drawing attention away from the flaws that exist inside of yourself. If one else is wrong, you have to be right because you are the one providing the judgment. There are a few problems with this. Just because you don’t notice your flaws doesn’t mean they don’t exist. To knock others down to build yourself up is never healthy or helpful.

All people are doing the best they can with what they have to work with. Despite their differences and different choices, understanding and accepting others allows you to get yourself. Often t  flaws we see most clearly in others exist inside of us. All people are a lot more the same than they are different. Look at anyone and understand, there is a modified version of you. If you lived in their experience, you might live precisely like them. Look at o hers and yourself with softer eyes and understand rather than judge, and you will defeat the voice of ego.

Take some time today and consciously look at your thoughts in these areas. Let go of your need to control, seek approval, and judge others. Look for the ways you can allow others to be who they are, be who you are, and accept things as they are.

 “Ego judges and punishes. Love forgives and heals.” Anonymous

 “If someone corrects you and you feel offended, then you have an ego problem.” Nouman Ali Khan

“Is that you or your ego?” Anonymous

“Big egos are big shields for lots of space.” Diana Black

 

21

Learning to Surrender

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Learning to surrender to where you are in life is confusing to comprehend. It is the idea that you accept the present moment, but it doesn’t mean that you have to allow yourself to stay in an unhealthy or dangerous situation. It means that you recognize the problem for what it is, and then through conscious choice, you can start to make decisions that will allow you to move in a more positive and healthy direction. Seeing clearly and concisely is not a victim mentality but the beginning of your conscious choices.

Thinking about Surrender

Many hear the word Surrender and think you are giving in to whatever is wrong in your life. If you are experiencing abuse, addiction, or other adverse situations, you are not just allowing it to happen. Instead, it means identifying where you are clearly and in the present moment. Too often, our minds avoid the now because we hope it will change or for the reason that nobody will notice. To look at your moment and honestly understand where you are is a moment where you can pivot into a change. Knowing where you are, allows you to construct a map to flow toward where you are meant to be.

Surrender never means being passive in accepting any situation you may be living in and having no power of action. You always have that. People should never stop planning, dreaming, or creating a decisive battle in their lives. Surrender is honestly seeing where you are and flowing with that situation instead of fighting against it. Accepting your present moment without condition is the beginning of giving up your inner resistance to change, life, and who you are. Internal resistance uses mental judgment and negative emotions to say no to what is happening in your life.

Here Comes the Pain

Things will go “wrong” in life. Things will never be exactly as we think they should be in all aspects. First of all, who are we to think we understand how things should be? Millions of variables affect the world that we know nothing about. Life is much wiser than any of us. So rather than judge, accept things and people as they are, not force them to be what you think they should be. The difference between what your rigid expectations create and what is in the world is the pain you are experiencing in life.

Surrender is the power to let go of your expectations of your children, parents, spouses, loved ones, bosses, employees, and anyone in your life. When you accept people as they are and surrender your expectations, much of the pain and sorrow of life is eliminated from your life. This subtraction is a process that takes place on the inside and will allow you to make decisive, healthy actions for positive change in the outside physical world. But with no inner change of thought and understanding, external change and positive movement are nearly impossible.

Acceptance and Choice

Accepting where things are now does not make you take the situation you are in total. All undesirable or unpleasant life situations need not be accepted as part of your reality in the present moment. Stating the obvious is not acceptance but denying something as if there is nothing wrong when it is maybe delusional.

An honest recognition of a situation will allow you to choose if you want to get out. Looking at the current location without judgment or resistance to what it is will let you see what affirmative action is required from you and decide whether to take it or not. Being in the present moment ultimately will allow you the power to break out of your conditioned past and move you toward a life of surrendering to what is and away from the constructs of the egoic life.

“Surrender is deeply misunderstood as an act of weakness. Surrender is the bravest and most obvious thing a human ever does, and that’s why it’s so precious to the Divine.” – Andrew Harvey

21

You Deserve It

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you deserve to be happyDo you deserve happiness? This thought is a question most of us ask either on the conscious or subconscious level, and the honest answer we give too often is NO.  This limiting belief comes with us through the experiences that have taught us to expect less than the best. There is no reason to look at yourself and believe that you don’t deserve happiness. The only thing stopping you from living a happy life is own negative stories that you tell yourself in your mind. You always have the choice to look at yourself with softer eyes and admit that you deserve to be happy.

Your Mind is the Key on How to Feel Happy in Life

Your mind is a beautiful tool, but sometimes the wiring is off, and we 0b13574e717dd8cedbe9d364b21885a6listen to everything it tells us. Your ego has the job of making sense of the world and finding out why you are where you are.  Your ego evaluates all of your actions and most often uses negative stories to do so. These stories in your mind are the negative limiting beliefs we carry throughout life until we consciously choose to change them. Most of them come to light to keep you safe.  Your ego remembers that you tried and failed, loved once, and were hurt or trusted and disappointed.  That is where the negative stories come from, fear.

If your stories are telling you in any way you don’t deserve to be happy because of an action in the past or an event that happened to you, you have two choices, believe it and allow the limitations of that thought to destroy any happiness you have. Or you can choose to realize that you deserve to be happy, no matter what has happened in the past.

Keep in mind that no matter who you are and what you are going through, you are doing the best you can with what you have to work with at the time. That is a simple truth. You may not like the results of the situation, but learn from it, develop and grow and see what happens in the future. Your positive feelings will guide you on the path to feeling happy in life. 

Everyone Can Feel Happy in Life

Happiness truly comes from within oneself. If you need an outside stimulus to how to be happy in lifebring happiness, it will be challenging to find constant joy in your life. Every day you are given a group of opportunities to experience. Whether they make you happy or not is a choice. You decide your attitude toward them and how it makes you feel.

“A great attitude becomes a great mood, which becomes a great day, which becomes a great year, which becomes a great life. “~ Zig Zigler

If you are looking for a stimulus to bring you happiness, your moments will be short-lived and sporadic. When that thing that supplies satisfaction, material possessions, money, drugs, sex, or anything else is removed, where are you?

You deserve to be happy as often as you decide you should be because you are a  unique person, the only one that has ever existed. Each of us has an originality that allows us to contribute our special gift to the world.

Each person is the only one who can decide whether they are happy or not. Nobody else can do this. You deserve it as much as anyone. Make the choice today to feel satisfied in life.

“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.’
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.”—-Chinese Proverb

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”—–Dale Carnegie

“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”——-Winnie the Pooh

 

21

Soul Benefit

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your soul
Listen……….in the quiet there is an answer.

All the decisions we make are for the benefit of our soul, or they exist to feed our egoic identity. Your soul is your true self; you were born to be. All the things you do and your decisions in this area will be positive, feel good, and resonate with you. Then there are the choices we make because of the ego. These are choices made in fear and generally pull us further away from who we are.

The goal is to make more decisions that benefit our souls and remind us of all the things that make us happy, productive, and whole.  The problem is that our ego has pushed us into situations to distract us from our true identity and move us in directions further from our purpose toward filling our programming. The goal is to start to recognize which of your choices are doing what. Are they moving you closer to your soul or true self, or are they pushing you further away? The best test is to ask yourself every day, “Am I becoming the person I was meant to be?” Let the proper answer guide you.

Your Soul and Why You May Not Know It

Since your soul is your true self, when you strip away all of the things you identify with, which aren’t you, job, money, possessions, what others think of you, or more accurately, what you feel about yourself, you are left with your soul. It is an accurate representation of your connection with a creator and all other people in the world. There is no fear, anger, or judgment located here. A person living from the decisions their soul makes is going to be the best version of themselves.

The restlessness you feel about life comes from not living up to that version. Knowing your best is there inside you, but not learning how to let it out or share your skills with the world.  Most people have some of these feelings and are unaware they have another choice.

We pursue things others have told us we should want and never consider what we might want ourselves. We are too worried about looking silly or disappointing a parent, peer, partner, or imaginary audience. Look inside yourself and see what appeals to you and give it a try. The key to understanding the soul comes from creativity because you can lose yourself in a drawing, a painting, a carving, or just restoring a piece of furniture. The act consumes your attention and quiets your mind, and that allows your soul to speak to you.  Positive feelings will move you in the right direction.

Know The Ego

The ego has a distinctive negative voice, as well.  It has a constant need to try to control everything and everybody out of the misguided thought that if you control everything, then nothing painful will ever happen.  This need resists change and growth and makes all involved unhappy.  There is also a need for approval from others, which stops one from stepping out and trying something bold and brand new.

If you wait for the approval of others to let your true self shine through, you will end up living your whole life falsely.  And finally, the voice of the ego loves to express itself in the judgment of others and yourself. To judge is to be unaccepting of others, their contribution, and their differences because their differences make you feel wrong.  Rather than accepting disagreements that the soul would welcome because we are all different, those differences make us glorious.

Choose The Soul

It is a magic of people that we all have within us a divine presence, and it exists in your soul. It is the thing that connects us all with all living things if you allow yourself to feel it.  Each decision is either for the soul and becoming the best version of yourself or egoic thought, which stifles healthy growth, attempts to control things, and pushes people down paths they will not be happy traveling.  Egoic change occurs subconsciously, and if you don’t examine your thoughts at all, they probably come from that area.

But conscious thought is a guide to your soul and your true, best self. Look at your thoughts honestly and see what they are telling you. Notice what they are telling the world about you.  If we all were motivated to become the best version of ourselves, imagine what the world would look like operating from that place. We are born as a soul, and the ego we develop over time. Work your way backward and find your true self.

Thinking consciously about the things which resonate with you and bring joy to your life will allow those things to become a part of your reality. Of course, there are steep hurdles to jump in this pursuit.  We have established programming which creates our beliefs and creates our intentions in what things we have in our lives.

What would your life look like if you made only choices which made you happy?

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.  – Aristotle

Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul. – Democritus

 Begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul. –Wayne Dyer

 Each person has an idea, a hope, a dream which represents the soul. We must give to it the warmth of love, the light of understanding, and the essence of encouragement. – Colby Dorr Dam