Monthly Archives: April 2022

22

The Best Version of You

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Once you choose START WALKING

All people find themselves at a point of decision in life. The way you decide to walk will determine much about your journey.  We are all on a trip from birth to death, and, in between, we make the choices defining us. What do you do? How do you choose the direction?

The answer I hope to find in this writing. Our minds are valuable tools; they provide information, ideas, and thoughts. Unfortunately, these things are often not very accurate because of the faulty programming of our pasts.  But we can overcome all of this, use our minds to accomplish great things, and become the best versions of ourselves. It just takes a little work, and the path will become apparent to you.

Programming Problems

Human beings are exceptional. From the moment we are born, we take in information and attempt to understand how to fit into the world, survive and thrive.  We look at how people treat us, other people, and situations to glean valuable bits of information about how to play this game.  We choose the things which work for us and stick to them, adopting them as the beliefs behind our lives. If you tried something new, failed, and were ridiculed for it, you were conditioned not to try anything out of your comfort zone again.

Random comments, nicknames, attitudes, and thoughts of others can make a lifelong impression, and if the tone is negative, these are a part of our self-image.  The source can be a parent, role model, peer, or even something seen in the media. These are lasting impressions and, once accepted, are a part of our paradigm of life, the rules we apply to the world.  These beliefs can be about our talents, worth, money, relationships, and all aspects of what makes us, us.  If left unchecked or unchallenged, a negative belief will be a part of our subconscious programming until the day we die.  We are in control of this, though.

Changing our Negative Beliefs

It is not a complicated process to change a belief. But it isn’t easy. Change is hard in any circumstance; it is frightening when you look inside yourself and honestly see an area needing a replacement.  Our ego is a part of our mind designed to keep us safe. The voice in your head tells you to be afraid of new things and attacks new ideas.  Doubt arises because of the fear of being harmed by trying something new. Even though a new career is the best option, the ego will fill your head full of doubt. A head full of uncertainty will have a difficult time making a choice.

Clearing the voice of doubt can be done by consistently presenting contrary facts.  It seems people will resist the truths in front of them until it becomes overwhelming. Life forces a change through circumstances. Usually, change comes when there is no other real choice. But if you plan a little, you can control the difference and even dictate how it moves in your life.  Realistic goal setting is one way.  What will make you happy? What career interests you? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Ten years? These might be an excellent place to start. Honestly, answering them for yourself about what resonates with your soul will show you which direction you should start to walk.

Goals Are Guides

Setting goals are one of the mainstays of achievement. However, there is little formal education on goal setting and completing these goals.  There is a direct relationship between setting goals and the progress which results. A plan will provide a target to shoot for and dictate the actions you take daily to reach your ideal result.  You may be the best archer globally, but without a clear target to shoot at, all of your arrows will go astray. Give yourself the goal and put your focus on that.  Allow your actions to follow the intention.

Setting a goal is not difficult, but having the courage and consistency to accomplish them is.  It can be tricky because of the programming mentioned above and what we believe about ourselves, our talents, the world, and the nature of life.  If it were easy, there would be no accomplishment. The great thing is that all people can do it. Learning to focus your thoughts on what you truly want in life, walk that path, and stick to it will result.  Life is not a passive play. If you approach it like that, nothing will happen.  Life is an activity, and you will never finish until it is over.

Taking the First Steps

If you are standing at a crossroads in your life, wondering which direction to walk, look inward and make the big decision of what you want. Then create your goal.  There will be many doubts, but you have to learn to put them aside or continue standing still, doing nothing.  If you set a goal, achieve it, and realize you want something else, then good for you! You will have another journey ahead, and you will always have another adventure to walk, which is a good thing in life.

Sit down, choose your direction, be proactive, and write your goal down in bright letters.  Spend time imagining what the accomplished goal will look like and feel like to accomplish.  Keep your focus until your dream enters reality, letting your daily actions be steps toward this desired end.  Consistent massive action will provide you with the information you need. The energy of life responds to your actions.  Taking action makes things happen; standing still makes nothing happen.  You are in control of this. You alone decide the energy and movement of your life. You are the only one responsible, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about your accomplishments except for yourself.

Choose your path and start to walk it. Once you set an intention through goal setting and set out to accomplish it with a positive outlook, you will see things fall into place for you. Help will come; things will work out for the best. What path are you choosing to walk?

Goal Setting Quotes:

“All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.” —Orison Swett Marden

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie.

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” —Pablo Picasso.

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” —Earl Nightingale.

“By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands—your own.” —Mark Victor Hansen.

You have the chance to be great, take it!!

Chances lost are hope’s torn out pages.
Maybe this time…………….

22

Success Isn’t Everything

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Success– the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

success questionsSuccess is something all people aspire to. It is the signal that our efforts have allowed us to move forward to achieving the things we want in our lives.  Accomplishments could be personal or professional, but one of the best ways to guide yourself toward success is to ask yourself the right questions about how you are progressing each day.  This process is a shift in consciousness for most people. Either you are drifting on a river going where life takes you, or you are steering your raft toward your success.  The paddle you drive is the question you ask yourself.  It starts with a conscious awareness of your thoughts, emotions, words, and actions to pursue your desired purpose and issues that will take you there.

Why Questions Build Success

Questions are a tool that can change your whole focus in your day.  Asking the right questions will provide focus and direction for a day. There is a reason you should question yourself.  First, an item will immediately change your attention, and changing that focus to a goal will bring answers to success questionsyou. What can I do today to help move me closer to a dream, purpose, or objective?  Where focus goes, energy flows.

What action can I take to become wealthier today?  What things can I do to build better relationships? What activities will make me happy today?  Each question will focus on that thing, and even if you don’t know for sure what to do, suggestions will come to your mind—usually a lot of them.  Then you can whittle them down to the ones you feel are valuable to your growth path. Often the first ones that come to your mind are pretty poignant.  It is good to be open to all options and not dismiss potential answers automatically.  Weigh your focused suggestions carefully, then choose the best actions.  Of course, to accomplish anything and use those questions, your answers need to be followed up with actions. Work makes everything happen.

Success May Come From Deleting Information

Another significant side effect of asking the right questions and honestly seeking an answer is your focus tends to cut through the opposition you might have to a goal.  You may have to make changes, and with change success questionscomes risk. Risk of failure, risk of learning, and most importantly, a chance of what others will think of most people.   A good question will get you to focus on what you want and delete what you don’t want.

What can I stop doing that hinders my success?  What things prevent me from accomplishing my goals?  Answer these questions and delete those barriers from your life, and you will be on your way to success.  Identifying the situations, actions, and people that hold you back allows you to stay clear of these things and work toward accomplishing the aim or purpose you seek.  How can this work for you?  That answer is up to you and the actions that result from your solution.

It Won’t Always be Easy.

Of course, the journey toward your success will not always be comfortable, but using the right questions can also help you navigate any rough waters you encounter. We are not born with all the knowledge and skills we need to success questionsaccomplish some things.  The education we need often comes from experience, and those experiences may seem complicated and unwanted.  For example, losing a job for any reason can be tough to deal with one’s life.  But along with that change comes opportunity.

Where is the opportunity here I am not seeing?  What can I do now things are changing? What can I learn from this?  How can I turn this around?  Any of these questions will bring answers to guide you. All situations provide information and use them to learn and grow.  What other positive choices do you have?  Questions can reveal the resources available to you and improve your outlook, production, and performance in your life.

Success is a matter of the Right Questions.

Learning to develop a definite pattern of questions for yourself can help build a consistent tool to empower you to overcome obstacles and reach the successes you desire to experience in your life.  The items will steer your focus toward solutions and away from the distractions and self-pity our minds often provide.  Look consciously at your goals and what is stopping you from reaching them today.

Make the conscious choice to see the possibilities in your challenges, leading you toward your goals and desires.  It all begins with a focus on the thoughts you entertain, the emotions they elicit, the words you use to express them, and the actions you take.  Your success today may be one good question away.

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco

“The key to wisdom is this – constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting, we are led to question, by questioning we arrive at the truth.” – Peter Abelard

“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.” – Francis Bacon

Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?  – the musical question only you can answer for success today.

 

 

 

22

Open or Closed?

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When something happens in your life, do you open up your heart to it? Or do you close your heart down and resist the reality of the situation?  All of our choices come down to this simple distinction.  Your decision in this area will determine your general mood and overall happiness.  To close yourself off or open yourself up to life.

Closed

Think of a time when you closed your heart down.  It could be a very justified situation like someone hurt you, and you closed that experience off because it hurt you in the past.  Then when anything arises which reminds you of that actual situation. However, it makes a lot of sense to want to avoid these things that hurt us once. Closing your heart, mind, and soul to them doesn’t stop them from existing. It only prevents you from dealing with them.  And, of course, things don’t go away. If you resist them, they only linger in the background and do their damage later.

Being closed will feel contrary to you because you are stopping the natural movement of energy through you.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So if you have energy moving through it and you close down and repress it, there will be consequences.  Resistance will lead to feeling bad and have you operating with low vibrations. Spending all that energy reflecting and ignoring things can make you worn out and tired.  There is a better alternative.

Open Up Buttercup

The best practice is to learn to keep your heart open, regardless of how you view the situations you see.  That doesn’t mean you accept poor treatment or unhealthy conditions for you. Instead, you healthily deal with them, allow disappointment, pain, or suffering to move through you, and then let it go and move on.  One of the negative things about being closed is at least a part of you stays in a very unhealthy place for all time.  What do you change by doing this? Nothing.  Open up your heart and accept whatever is happening.  If a relationship ends, it is no good to pine away for the past.  Thank them for the lessons, absorb the learning, let go of the pain, and move on.

When you are open, your energy is naturally optimistic, and you will be functioning at your peak. You will feel good about yourself, and your point will be helpful for all you come in contact with.  Choosing to be open brings a high energy level, which will make accomplishing your goals more manageable, and you will feel better about life and your part in making it a worthwhile experience.

It is a Choice

To be open or closed is a choice, and it is a fundamental decision you make every day of your life. You can boil it down to this simple statement. Choose to be open and prepare to be happy.  Choose to be closed……… prepare to be unhappy.  Nobody else can make this choice for you, and only you are responsible for what you decide.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”
– Mark Twain

“It does take great maturity to understand that the opinion we are arguing for is merely the hypothesis we favor, necessarily imperfect, probably transitory, which only very limited minds can declare a certainty or a truth.”
– Milan Kundera

“Begin challenging your assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows to the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.”
– Alan Alda

“By all means, let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains pop out.”
– Richard Dawkins

“Let yourself be open, and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable, and a spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.”
– Buddha Siddhartha

 

22

Having Some Compassion

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Compassion- concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

CompassionLiving in the United States, it is easy to focus solely on ourselves and the things that affect us directly. Looking at everything in the light of difficulty, pain, joy, or ease with which it will impact our lives and day-to-day existence.  Compassion is a much-needed ability to show concern for the misfortunes others face and, I think to have a care for their suffering.  On a broader scope, be compassionate enough to do what you can to ease the pain of others where you can. This practice starts with increasing consciousness around the compassion you show the world and its residents in your thoughts, words, and actions throughout each day. Not just in the lives of people you don’t know but, more importantly, in the lives of people, we see every day.

What Do Compassionate People Do?

I heard it said somewhere by someone much more intelligent than me that people in all situations are “just another version of me.” If you were faced with the circumstances they faced and been treated as they were, given the morals and experiences of their lives, you might do just what they did. You might experience the things they are experiencing. So rather than judge someone for the things they have done or their lives. Recognize with compassion that there but for the luck of circumstance goes you.

Understanding that we are so similar will allow you to find a place in your heart for compassion toward most other people.  Remembering your humanity is shared with all that walk the Earth makes compassion a gift to yourself. Look around you each day, and if you look hard, you can see a part of yourself in everyone, in all circumstances. Think of what would make your experience more enjoyable and give that to someone. It can be a simple smile or providing privacy in a moment of sadness, and having compassion is free. You don’t need a dime to practice it. Being aware of the problems others face allows you to show the best of yourself by putting the concerns ahead of your own. Be conscious of all the other versions of you in your life today and give to them what you would want to receive.

How to Show Compassion

Some people live and believe differently than they do in the world. Rather than judge them, dismiss their lives as wrong and need to be changed. Take a moment and understand that all people don’t practice things the way you do. Religion is often a place where the judgment of others is encouraged.  If a person doesn’t believe the same way they do, they are wrong. When you see someone in need or in trouble, let your emotion help and make it better kick in.

Imagine what simple measures of compassion you can show in your daily life that will make the world a better place and the experience of another more enjoyable in a small way? Just being kind and compassionate to someone when they need it can bring light to the world that will remain dormant without your participation.  Don’t judge the circumstance, but accept the humanity of all people and see what you can do to make life better.  We all Have the power to do this.  Try not to put others down, especially to make yourself feel better. Lift others, and you will rise naturally.

Examples of Compassion

There are over 7 billion people today, each with unique stories of life. There is more of a need than ever before for compassion.  Through the practice of compassion, you can minimize differences, and we can accentuate our similarities.  The significant problems of Compassionthe world of war, poverty, starvation, and a general disregard for the lives of others are all fear-based, and it seems they could all be erased if everyone thought to practice compassion.  Fear is the cause of all of these things, fear of losing something, fear of being harmed, fear of others.

Compassion eliminates fear because, through our hearts, humanity in all others is recognized and celebrated.  Having a concern for the well-being of others and doing something to promote that would start by making your own life more fulfilling and enjoyable.  Who knows where that might spread if given a chance? One act of compassion could change someone’s life for the better and forever. You don’t know for sure. But acting out of judgment, selfishness, and fear, you can be confident that the world will not get better today.  Be compassionate to the suffering of those around you.

Take just a moment today and raise your consciousness about the compassion that you have shown in your life for others.  Put understanding squarely in your consciousness by focusing for a short time on it in your thoughts, words, and actions.  See what difference you can make with this simple action in the world.

Compassion Quotes

“The purpose of human life is to serve and show compassion and the will to help others.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

 “A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” Steve Maraboli

 “Compassion and tolerance are not signs of weakness, but a sign of strength.” Dalai Lama

 “There is a nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.” John Connolly 

“Compassion is about giving all the love that you’ve got.” Cheryl Strayed

 

22

Letting Go Of Anchors

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Why don’t we say all the things we want to say? Sometimes it is in deference to someone’s feelings. Often we hold back because we are afraid of how we will look to others.  But most often, I think I hold back on things I never say because it is an invitation to see our inside, which is a person’s most safe place. Once you let someone into that space, what else might they see? So we remain silent, guarded, and closed off. But that is no way to live life.

The Beginning

When we are young children, we experiment, showing parts of ourselves to the world. What we think is funny. What we think is brilliant. Mistakes are made. Sometimes, we are chastised, laughed at, and made to feel wrong about who we are, which hurts. So our little growing egos start to express themselves very carefully. We begin to hide parts of ourselves from the world because we are afraid of how they will be received.  The list of things we hide inside of ourselves only grows.

Over time these lists of things we can say and do and those we can’t form our personality and provide the window we allow the world to see us through.  But it is only a tiny, prefabricated version of who we are.  Every person in the world has this window created due to the things they can’t say to the world.

Mountains Out of Mole Hills

This is one of my favorite sayings because all people seem to create the greatest tragedies out of the tiniest of mishaps. A person’s imagination is massive when it comes to potential difficulties, but we are often marked by overreaction pushed by fear. The real problems we face are pretty small.  The things we repress and hide from the world about our thoughts and how we feel do not disappear like a rabbit from a magician’s hat. No, their energy stays with you blocking your health and ability to move forward.

To free these blockages, a person needs to express themselves freely, at this to themselves. Let the actions, thoughts, and happenings of your life be expressed freely. This freedom will allow current problems to be viewed through a scope that is not clouded by past events.  Each new event will be judged on its merit, regardless of the past.  These energies will move through you and allow more room inside for new and creative creations to come from you.

It is Less Work to Just BE

Look at the effort it takes a person to constantly edit themselves and decide what is inappropriate to say and do.  It is unhealthy for the mind and spirit, but it is also just a much more difficult life.  It isn’t easy to have an opinion today because it seems there is always some tiny person in the world who will disagree, but don’t let a small-minded person limit your great message.  State your truth clearly and loudly for the world to hear, and never apologize for it.

It is your right and gift as an individual to have thoughts, ideas, a sense of humor,  or a philosophy of honor.  Expressing this is the most honorable form of creation.  Be that creation of a product, thought, or philosophy.  Stop hiding your uniqueness behind fear.  It is fear that stops anyone from expressing themselves in the first place. It is better to be yourself than to live life behind a cloud.  Express the things you never spoke of and let the repressed thoughts and feelings go.

My experience is that if you don’t consciously release these things, they will find a way to free themselves, which may not be a way you would like or enjoy. Making the whole “stealth behavior” in the beginning a terrible choice.  Emotions like sadness or anger flash out of nowhere, and you wonder what that is all about.  Be conscious of your words and feelings and let them come out and express yourself.  Be healthy and express yourself and say the things you never say.

 

22

Learning about Myself

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There are a variety of experiences a person goes through in the course of life. I have been through many different things, being very fortunate to meet and know many people and to visit some places.  Most of our experiences are similar, for the most part, and yet we still have a hard time talking about some things which cause us pain and heartbreak.  These are the things we have difficulty telling anyone.  The emotions are hidden, been too far inside.  It is time to recognize each and let them all go.

Sadness

One of our staple emotions is sadness. We feel this all the time, from the loss of something in many phases of our lives. But if you acknowledge your grief and say it out loud to people, you are perceived as weak and undesirable.  This fear has caused me to hide my sadness whenever it has arisen.  Push it aside, hold it down where nobody can see it, and it will go away. As if by magic.  For these reasons, sadness is uncomfortable and makes you feel there is something wrong with handling it.

The emotions we try to bury will always rise back to the surface, like a diver coming back up for air; these emotions will charge again to our consciousness at some point.  Often when you would least expect it. They come when any event has any remote to connect with a past sad event.  I have had tears rise to the surface saying good night to someone because it reaches into the experience of permanent loss I have felt earlier in life.  Sometimes it comes when you look at who you are, and it doesn’t match up with what you perceive others to think of you.  Being sad is a part of life. It provides the contrast to joy, which gives power and desirability to that emotion. There would be no joy if there were not any sadness.  It seems we should be more willing to talk about that.

I Hate Loss

As a child, I never liked the idea of loss.  When you have a thing, then you no longer have this thing. It is a part of life to learn to deal with the grief associated with a loss, but often, we are instructed as young men to “toughen up,” and as an adult signature on the path of life, I should have a higher handle on the losses.  But it still hurts when things and people are removed from my life. It can be a break-up, a job change, the passing of a loved one, or any loss of something once here that is now gone.

We all desire life to be controllable, predictable, and in our control.  Life will never be one of these things, and loss comes to us because we forget this hard truth.  That is why my goal is to enjoy everything that happens and not to build an attachment to that thing.  Events, ideas, and people will come into your life and deposit what you need to learn. Some will stay for the whole story, but most are just there for a chapter or two. Make those chapters the best they can be, and then turn the page and allow the following stages to come to you.  Losing things and people happen more and more as you get older; learning to deal with this process in a healthy manner is one of the most significant challenges we all face.

I Don’t Forget

One of my weaknesses hinders me from dealing appropriately with the last two things in my memory. It has a grasp of the times I enjoy that I can’t escape. If my thoughts are left to run on their own, to those happy things, they will run.  What is the harm in this? You ask. Our minds are a great tool but inaccurate. They remember things in a way that is not the most accurate—often stressing the good and moving the bad or painful to the background.  Soon we are nostalgic for past experiences and places, and those memories are false, and we remember things from our perspective.

There are many things, especially time spent with people, I never want to forget. No matter what happened, positive or negative, the value of that person is something you hold onto because you want to remember the places you went, the things you shared, and even if you got lost on the way, were late. The park closed before you got there, and it was still a valuable, memorable experience.  The problem exists because looking to the past brings a natural feeling of regret, which is not going to do you any good.  It is impossible, in my experience, to move forward until you put your past clearly and completely behind you.  Hold your memories in your heart, but don’t visit them; it is an unhealthy pastime.

There are many other things I cannot talk about, like love, hurting, disappointment, etc.  But this is an excellent place to start. The hard truth is that we all have these disturbing things inside us.  They are leftovers of our past, as far back as our childhoods.  They are essential because our subconscious mind uses this programming to run our lives when we are not paying attention to the events in front of us.

The trick, I think, is to learn to let the energy of the negative emotions pass through us and face our pain from the past.  Let the sadness move through us and pass away.  The fear of loss can cause many problems, but you can learn to master it by understanding that nothing lasts forever. Nothing.  We are just passengers on this planet for a short time, and our ultimate joy and enjoyment of life will come from how we live in every moment—putting the regrets of the past behind us and worries about the future,  which will cause anxiety, out of our minds.

 

22

Being Outside the Norm

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Outliers- a person or thing differing from all other members of a particular group or set.

You were born an original, don’t be a copy.

I have always been an outlier in my life, a person who is different from everyone else. This observation isn’t to say I am any better or worse than anyone else, I just am myself, and that person seems to not quite fit into the molds others so quickly pour themselves into. I have felt something wrong with me for a long time, a shortcoming of intellect or the things I enjoy.  Some people look at my differences and see a weakness that needs to be fixed so I can fit into their ideas of “normal” and find their version of happiness and safety. That would be a crime.  My greatest strength and most valuable commodity are that I am an outlier, and I see the world differently than everybody else. I don’t ask anyone to think like me, speak like me or act like me. I ask only for my true self to be on full display, which differentiates me from others and is my value.

Thoughts of an Outlier

The older I get, the more I learn, and the more I understand, the less I know. But there are a few nuggets of knowledge this outlier has found to be accurate and helpful.  We are all in control of a large part of the reality we experience, and it is done through the beliefs we carry around in our subconscious minds.  What we believe about ourselves and life tells us precisely what types of things we will accept from others and what we expect from the experience. The level of success you will reach and the value you see in yourself are all dictated inside of you.

You can change your programming through a consistent effort of conscious thought and action in your life. It begins by examining how you talk to yourself and noticing what you say to yourself. If you are critical, cruel, judgmental, or unaccepting of who you are on the inside, what chance do you have in the outside world of finding success?  Reworking the inner dialogues, you listen to and your beliefs about yourself will take work but will lead to a version of yourself that can accomplish almost any goal. This outlier believes we are in total control of what we ultimately experience. If it doesn’t make any sense, you have to accept responsibility for whatever it is and change your thoughts and expectations about who you are.

Actions of an Outlier

Actions are the things we do. I have developed a list of things I like to do and experience.  I enjoy time by myself, writing, learning, and thinking about life. But I have found my favorite thing is to have an honest conversation with someone about the things in life, I guess.  Not a debate but a discussion about the validity of my thoughts, where they are weak, where they are stable, and where they are in between. Finding a partner as an intellectual equal is a gold mine of creative juice and thought provocation.

I also think as an outlier. I enjoy creating adventures in close-by places and spending time with another who wants the small things in life. A good meal, a beautiful natural spot, a movie, a concert, time spent just quietly together talking about our hopes and dreams. Finding these adventures in life has been a great find and one I think is unique to me. It seems like people are looking for other things that are more complicated or refuse to see the joy that can come from sharing small thoughts, a stop for ice cream, or hiking a mountain. I know people who look at me, the outlier, as if I am crazy because I am not like them.  I look at them and feel sorry for them, understanding they are limited by their vision and expectation.

Company for an Outlier

Just being an outlier, by definition, is going to involve some lonely moments. You are not like the whole group, and although I am OK with the way it is, there are moments when you wish there were more companies. When a company comes, it is delightful and painful to realize the potential fellow outlier was a fake—just stopping by to see how you lived because it looked interesting.  But then they retreat into the comfort of society.

You have no choice here because you are what you are, even if the person judging you is someone you care about.  The judgment is like all others, a reflection of themselves, not of you. They must live with that, and you have to be true to yourself and be the best person you can be.  This outlier believes in honest and open communication. If I do something, I am going to explain why. That is the responsible thing to do if you care about someone. Anything else reveals a character flaw that will negatively affect your life until you rectify it.  I have carried many mistakes out into the edges of my existence, allowing them to change me.

Become an Outlier

I will encourage you to find your path in the world that is different from those walked by any others.  I know people who pay verbal homage to this idea but in action don’t follow through; their lives are empty and lost. They wish they had the strength to become a real outlier, but the leash of their programming has them caught entirely in their little lives. No matter how big their dreams are, they will never take the steps necessary to achieve them because, deep down, they think being an outlier is too dangerous and wrong.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Thinking differently, and acting uniquely like yourself is the most critical decision you can make. Finding your style can be hard to do and open you up to the judgment of others, but that is where greatness comes from and a real contribution to the world.  Become an outlier today and be yourself; you are the only person you can be.  It will start with being more conscious of the thoughts you think, the words you speak, and your actions.  Look around and see just how far from the group you have strayed and know that it is precisely where you need to be, an outlier. I am the outlier.

“Achievement is talent plus preparation. The problem with this view is that the closer psychologists look at the careers of the gifted, the smaller the role innate talent seems to play, and the bigger the role preparation seems to play.”

“Hard work is a prison sentence only if it does not have meaning. Once it does, it becomes the kind of thing that makes you grab your wife around the waist and dance a jig.”

“Hard work is only a prison sentence when you lack motivation.”

“Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.”

 

22

Shooting for the Moon

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goal settingHow many times have you allowed the opinions of others to limit your potential?

When I think of the beautiful people I meet each day, I find myself amazed by the potential success in all people they can’t see in themselves. It is like looking at Michael Jordan, who doesn’t realize that he is a great basketball player.  Greatness exists within everyone in one form or another, and learning to listen to your heart and following your interests is all it takes to start to see this.

Set Your Goal

goal settingIt all begins by knowing what you want out of life. That may sound like it should be common knowledge for each of us. I know that I have been in a position where I could do anything I wanted, and I had no idea what I wanted to do.

I have talked to many others who have had the same experience. Set your goals and start to dream about your dream. Imagine what it will look like and feel like when that goal has been achieved and is a part of reality.

Action will Take YOU There.

It is then up to you to take responsibility for your dream and take makethingshappenaction. Actions are the keys to achievement, and until you choose to take action, nothing will happen. You may be talented in some area of life, but if you never do anything, that talent and greatness will atrophy and die away.

Developing an action plan and taking those steps will allow you to defeat and eliminate fear from your life. There is no time for concern when you act, and the fearful thoughts will fall away as you succeed or fail. At least you will know. Take action in all phases of your life, and see what comes to you.

Shoot For That Star

There shouldn’t be any limits on your dream. Dream the vision in your way. Want to sing on Broadway? Dream it and shoot for it. If you have a terrible voice that will come out, you may need to take some extreme action to get this done, but who can tell you that you can’t do it? Give it a shot, and maybe setting goals and taking action will put you on a different path, where possibilities exist.

Shoot for the moon, and you won’t limit yourself. If you want to be rich, set a goal for it. If you’re going to fall in love, set a dream, and take action. If you want to be healthier, make a plan, take action, and see what happens. Anything is possible for you.

 

22

Being an Original

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“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”– Raymond Hull

sseuss

When I first saw the question, who do I compare myself to? I spent a few moments thinking of who I compare myself to. It was challenging because I didn’t compare myself to anyone. Not because I don’t want to grow and aspire to the positive traits of others, but instead, I like who I am quite a bit and can’t see myself being anyone else.

I do not care where I am in life, instead of someone else. I don’t care how much money I have compared to anyone else.  I don’t care about the car I drive, my clothes, or a particular hairstyle. I wear what I like, go what gets me there, and cut my hair the way it feels comfortable. How somebody else thinks about how I look or what I have is really out of my hands.

So I came up empty when it came time to answer this. Then it hit me. I am constantly comparing myself to someone, and I worry about how I do concerning that individual.  It is not anyone famous or rich or successful or that you would ever have heard of.   I am constantly comparing myself to the person I was yesterday.

I Don’t Want to Be Anyone Else.

henri_quote1Although I admire many people in the world, many of you reading this are definitely among them. Yet, I do not want to be you or anyone else other than myself.

I am the only person qualified to be me.  Nobody else can see things the way that I do or will think the thoughts that I do.

I am a unique, one-of-a-kind, original human who is creating things in the world that has never existed before and would never have existed if I didn’t come along.  That is the same for you as well as for me.

I Can’t Compare.

be originalThis makes it impossible for me to compare myself with anyone else, and I have read enough to know that there is a world of fantastic, thoughtful, creative, and talented people doing precisely what I am. Trying to get through this complicated game of life and still feel optimistic about how things are going and what we are contributing to others.

How do you compare one tremendous and unique human being with another?  We are all our stars, performing our parts the best possible.  That should be enough for anyone! It certainly is for me on this fantastic summer day!!

Quotes about being yourself

“You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.”- John Mason

“Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.”- Julius Charles

“There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your way.”- Christopher Morley

“If you don’t like my words, don’t listen. If you don’t like my appearance, don’t look. If you don’t like my actions, turn your head; It’s as simple as that.”- Anonymous

“Why live to please others? I mean, it’s your life. If you aren’t happy with it, what’s the use in living?”- Anonymous

“I never wanted to be different; I just wanted to be me.”- Anonymous

“Originality is a by-product of sincerity.”- Marianne Moore

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”- Anonymous

“The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.”- Anne Morrow

“Love who you are. Don’t hate yourself for what you aren’t.”- Anonymous

“Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess and to gain applause which he cannot keep.”- Samuel Johnson

 

22

What’s on the Inside?

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character traitsEvery person contains within them the same capacity for good and evil. Our life experiences and our reaction to them dictate which character traits are dominant in our lives. Knowing that change is always possible is an essential factor. If you don’t like a particular aspect of your life, you can change it by adjusting your focus on things, which will change who you are on the inside.

Your perspective is the most crucial facet in facilitating positive change in your life, and that means that you have to understand, believe that you are capable of change, and desire to change to a more positive mindset. Know what type of person you want to be and develop those character traits.

Seven Positive Character Traits

There are many character traits that all people possess to character traitssome degree or another, and I am focusing on curiosity, optimism, gratitude, social intelligence, self-control, enthusiasm, and perseverance.  Looking inside yourself, you will see these things existing, and how much you contain each is determined by your personality and life experience so far.

Honestly, look at yourself and what you bring to the table, and you will see that all of these things exist in you, but you have different proficiency levels in them. You may be very adept at following your curiosity but need to work on your perseverance. All of these traits can lead to your success, and knowing where to focus your energy will help you grow and become the person you desire to be.

What is your Mindset

It is a simple choice of a mindset that will determine how much and how easily you will grow. Do you have a fixed mindset? Or do you have mindseta growth mindset?

A fixed mindset will tell you that the skills and talents are all you get. You fail at something; then you will give up and conclude that it isn’t in the cards for you to do that. This mindset is limiting, and people maintain this to protect themselves from the pain of failure, self-doubt, and insecurity.  Yet we are only as limited as our minds tell us we can be. If this is your predominant mindset, don’t give up. Work to change it. You can grow!

The growth mindset is that all things are continually changing, and you may not be able to do something at this moment. Still, you are capable of developing the skills and talents needed to accomplish almost anything. This mindset opens all doors and allows you to look at the character traits discussed above and know that any you are weak at right now can become strengths with focus and work.

Growth Allows Possibility

Developing a growth mentality is the most important step a person can make. Growth will bring hope and love into your life, while any character traitslimits you place on yourself will lead to more lack in your life. Your mind is an incredible tool that you can put to work for you by learning how to allow it to grow. For any positive character traits mentioned above, a person has to look for areas that need improvement and then focus on things that develop that area.  Be more enthusiastic about what you are doing, or persevere in pursuing your goals.

Whatever you need to work at, work at it, and allow growth to come. When you are not growing, you are dying. That is the simple choice we make in life each day. There is no middle ground where we stay the same. Seeking to develop positive character traits in yourself will allow higher personal growth.

All people are born with the potential for greatness in some way. How much you believe this statement often dictates how much success or failure you experience in life.