Monthly Archives: May 2022

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Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

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The conversation occurs subtly behind the actions of

self-talk-head-1the day. It is one conversation that we should have a massive interest in, but we rarely take the time to analyze the tone or tenor of which our inner voice is speaking. This discussion is called self-talk, an ongoing dialogue inside your head that contributes commentary on the happenings of your experience.

Too often, people accept the exchange without inquiry, and it is often decidedly dripping with negativity. This negative spin will tend to cause one to be tough on themselves and give harsh criticism to their lives. Often crushing our confidence and self-esteem. All is not lost. Once a person becomes aware of this talk, they can make a conscious effort to change their inner dialogue and build a more positive inner world. If you can make this adjustment, it will change the way you look at yourself and how others look at you. It is one of the most critical skills a person can learn.

Why So Negative and Hard on Yourself?

In the development of life, there is programming Negative-self-talkthat takes place. All people learn beliefs or programming through the early experience of their lives. Interactions with parents, siblings, relatives, friends, teachers, and the media, combine to let us know the rules of this game called life. Most of the messages we learn through pain, we learn to want to avoid pain and seek pleasure. The talk in your head is generally geared toward preventing evil, painful things, but things go haywire. We ignore most of the positives in life, ignoring many positive things. People choose to focus on the negative.

The programming we experienced occurred when we were between 5-10 years old and has become obsolete, outdated, or just plain untrue. When you start to notice this voice and see how negative it is, you can then choose to change your programming and not allow negative, stubborn, or defeatist thoughts to rule your mind. You have the power to create change, and it starts with a personal awareness of your thoughts. You will undoubtedly be if you believe you are incapable of doing something. It is self-defeating, and most aren’t even aware it is happening.

Be Kind to You, Change the Self Talk

Self-Talk-2As you look at the conversation and hear the comments your mind is producing, ask yourself with each one, “Is this true?”, “Is this kind?” “Is this necessary?”  If the comments are not all of these, you should probably pay no mind to them.

How you treat yourself will be relevant to the experience you have in life. If a person will not treat themselves with respect, encouragement, and understanding, then who will?

Take a moment today and listen to re are your self-talk and decide if the conversation needs to change. All change talkpeople are capable of quick and dramatic change in this area only by choosing to treat themselves better. Let the negative thoughts and opinions slide by and introduce more positive thought patterns into your mind. Or to just let the voice be silent.

If you are not going to treat yourself in a caring and loving manner, why would anyone else?

Change from I can’t to I CAN

Change from No to Yes

Change from I have Doubts to I have no Doubts.

Change from Impossible to Possible

Change from I’m Unable to I Am Able

Stop expecting the worst and Demand the Best!

There is a positive opposite waiting to be noticed and used for every negative, self-defeating phrase you have ever spoken. You are capable at any time of making these changes.

Mindfulness and being aware of what is happening right now, at this moment, can force the voice in your head to be quiet because your awareness is focused on so much happening now there is no room for a talk. Focus your attention on what you see right now, what you hear, or the things you feel, taste, or smell. Each of these inputs brings you.

The Benefits of Positive Self-Talk

Choosing to be more confident in the way you speak to yourself in your mind will provide many positive benefits. First, of course, your confidence will increase because you are not listening to the adverse judgment in your mind. Secondly, you will enjoy life more because when you eliminate the constant negative self-talk, you have room for more positive thoughts, ideas, and creations. Third, you will find you are just happier in your life. Positive reviews bring with them a higher vibration, which feels right. These thoughts multiply, and soon you are feeling great all the time.

Understanding that we are not perfect, there are things we still need to learn. Falling short at something and recognizing our faults allows us to reevaluate and try again with better information. Positive self-talk will enable us to enhance our success in all our efforts. It lets you become your highest, most positive supporter. Staying optimistic about your ability to develop will move you through problems you face in life. The ability to practice positive self-talk will allow you to stick to a process of accomplishing a goal rather than just quit at the first sign of initial failure. You will build an immunity to the negative messages your mind creates to save you. Positive self-talk will give you the power to accomplish many vital goals you make. If we don’t learn to support, like, and be kind to ourselves, we can’t expect those things to be generated by others. We are 100% in control of our actions and not in control of anyone else. Why put our confidence, happiness, and ultimate success in the opinions of others.

There is nothing wrong with liking who you are and appreciating the skills you possess. To me, this is just common sense. You can be a massive fan of yourself and enjoy your life without being arrogant or condescending. Nobody is perfect, but everybody is perfectly able to be the best version of themselves. In accepting our talents and skills, we are then more able to recognize and appreciate the things other people can do and understand they are valuable. Listening to negative self-talk,  our mind often sees the accomplishments and skills of others as threats, and they are not. There is room for everyone to shine. Positive self-talk allows you to appreciate this in everyone.

Controlling the negative self-talk starts with an awareness of the voice and precisely what it is saying to you. This voice is not who you are, and you are the listener, the observer of the vote, through meditation and learning how to be in the present moment by observing our breath or repeating a mantra. You are capable of flipping the script in your mind from negative to positive any time you choose.

“Be mindful of your self-talk. It’s a conversation with the universe.”- David James

“Be very careful what you say to yourself because someone very important is listening . . . YOU!”–John Assaraf

“Relentless, repetitive self-talk is what changes our self-image.”-  Denis Waitley

“Evidence is conclusive that your self-talk has a direct bearing on your performance.”  –  Zig Ziglar


	

	
	




	
	

				

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Every Day Has Purpose

		

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Everything and everyone were created for a purpose. 


Seeking purpose in life is the journey we are all on. Some look for it in money, others in a family, others in religion, but the only place you will find your purpose is inside yourself. It can be challenging to believe that you are all here for a purpose when you are experiencing the ups and downs of life, especially when it seems just survival and feeling “normal” is a challenge from day to day.


People can easily believe that the things in nature were created for a purpose; the seasons continually happen in perfect order. The sun rises and sets with clockwork precision. Ecosystems function with symbiotic excellence creating vital life cycles that benefit the area and the world in creating beauty and growth. Delicate balances are made just as they should be. It is much more challenging to see ourselves as one of these perfect creations. But we are. We were all created with a purpose, but unlike most other players in the game of life, we have a choice that allows us to move closer to our goal or move further away. What choices are you making today? What choices have you made in the past six months? Have they helped or hindered your growth and reaching your purpose?


Battle of Choice


I believe that when we are young, we are very close to our purpose. As life’s experiences pour over us, and we try to rationalize where we fit and accept the beliefs we are taught, we lose sight of what our purpose is.   What makes you feel a connection to the world and life itself? What is it that you lose yourself when you participate in it? As we entertain more and more choices between good and evil, pleasure and pain, instant satisfaction or delayed gratification, our life patterns form. Either they are taking you closer to your purpose or further away.


If you are moving no closer to your purpose, you will experience some emptiness inside. You may have collected many material things, large sums of money, or whatever looks like a success on the outside. But inside, there will always be a yearning to find your purpose or what makes you come “alive.” A choice is a funny thing, we make a million of them every day, but when we are far from what we are, subconsciously, we create options taking us back toward doing the things that constitute our purpose. Having a choice and free will means you can do anything, including making bad decisions. Become more conscious of your intention, and if you don’t, take steps to get there.


Know Your Purpose


To know your purpose in life can be like reading a good mystery novel. You try to guess what happened, and then it is revealed as you get toward the end of the story. Seeking your purpose will take a lot of trial and error and a bit of fearlessness. A lucky few people have known and remembered their senses all their life. But most choose to follow a path determined by others, parents, family, or society. As they do what they think they should do, they move further from who they are. It is never too late to move back toward your purpose.


I wish I could say exactly what your purpose was and where you can find it, but all of us are different, and so is our purpose. That journey is as individual as each of us is. One of the best methods to find yours is to create. Creativity provides us with the power to connect with our souls. Whatever you are making will tell you which way to go. If you paint, paint! If you write, write! If you carve things out of wood blocks, cut things out of blocks of wood! Creating something that didn’t exist before you had the thought and took action to make it is powerful. It will lead you to the doorway of who you are. If you feel you are not creative, evaluate your efforts. Something in your life is done with a unique thought pattern and activities which belong to you and resonate with your soul. You will know it when you lose track of time when doing it.




 


Seeking a Fit


Consciously or subconsciously, we are all looking for the puzzle piece we are in the world and where we fit in perfectly. Where do we belong, and what is our purpose? Some get so far away from it that they feel empty, and that is where we try to fill that emptiness with drugs, alcohol, food, material possessions, or some other thing that we hope will allow us to feel whole. But the only thing that will do that is to keep looking for what we are meant for until we find it.


All of us have a purpose inside of us, and finding that will allow us to experience more happiness in life if we can live it. If things are chaotic and seemingly moving out of control in your life, you are probably not following your purpose. If you are pursuing your goal, things flow, work in harmony, and fill the fulfillment of doing what you were meant to do. Never stop looking for your purpose or following it when you find it. Trying to become the best version of yourself and be happy in the world will involve recognizing your drive and taking steps to practice it to the best of your ability.


Understand that you the only one that can do what you were put here to do what you are meant to do. Like the sun is one of a kind and each star in the sky are different and original, so are you. Find your purpose and bring your light into the world. 


“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.”- John F. Kennedy


“Everyone has a purpose in life and a unique talent to give others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” -Kallam Anji Reddy


“Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.” -Ayn Rand


Whenever I hear this song, I think of people finding their purpose. Ain’t it Beautiful??




 

	

	
	




	
	

				

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We Stand The Same

		

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It is not unusual for someone to create a judgment of someone based on what you see on the outside. It is in our instinct to categorize people and organize them into easy-to-digest pieces where we can make assumptions about their background, financial situation, and motives. Is someone a threat? Are they someone it would be valuable to make an ally? These thoughts rush through your mind, and they are expensive in the short term to attempt to control your life. But life is not controllable, and judging people in this manner causes you to be short-sighted, closed-minded, and, most importantly, judgemental of others.


The problem of judgment is that we tend to accept our initial thoughts about someone as reality when, in fact, they are based only on our views with no factual basis whatsoever. This scenario creates a line of separation between us and others, which can be dangerous. In the least, it can be cruel to someone, and its worst forms can lead to dehumanizing other people, leading to hate, mistrust, prejudice, discrimination, and all sorts of negatives. A more comprehensive view is my challenge to you. Look at all people you meet from this moment forward on the inside. Because on the inside, you will see much more of what you have in common than what separates you. Look on the inside.


Alone Time


We all have a fundamental need to be a part of things and be understood for the person we are, the thoughts we think, and the feelings that result. Some people are more independent than others and enjoy more alone time. I like to have time to myself, but I also need time with other people. To some degree, we are all the same. Through our interactions with others, we find experiences of growth and development. I value the perspective of people who are different from me. Each time you meet a new person and have a conversation, you will grow slightly. And growth is the point of this existence.


Sometimes, it seems easier to put up walls and isolate yourself from others. They can be challenging, and understanding others can take some effort. Once you build walls to keep yourself safe from others, it is difficult for anyone to get in. So you are quite literally sitting by yourself, and that is where loneliness and isolation can influence you. Being lonely is dangerous because it skews your vision of the world and yourself. You feel something is lacking within yourself and your life, which is human interaction. Through this, we know we are not alone in this process, and we can take another perspective on things. Weigh that vision and make the parts of it that resonate with us. There is a feeling we all have inside of belonging and being accepted. It takes others for this to happen. We are all feeling lonely and separated in our lives sometimes. Be kind where you can and help someone else contact a little less alone. It takes very little to let someone know you see them and their humanity. Find a situation where you can do this today.


Our Thoughts


On the inside of every person, I see two rivers continuously running. One is of thought, and the other is our emotions. They are connected and continually flowing throughout our lives. Our mind is a tool that helps us navigate problems and create things, and that river of thought will help you. Even though many of the ideas flowing by us are repeated or unnecessary, the amount of attention we give them provides them with any power. Placing your focus on the wrong thing will affect how relevant it is in your life. As human beings, we all function the same way. Our thoughts are created in our minds and our experience and programming. It is up to us to be open-minded to seek new experiences and people to bring new ideas into our river of thought.


A mind is a great thing to have because appropriately used. It can help you master your life and existence and bring happiness and joy to the lives of others. Your mind can bring suffering and despair to you and all those you encounter during the day. The direction of your influence comes from conscious decisions we make about the thoughts we pay attention to in life. We all have the same choices here. Focus on the ideas of love or focus on the ideas of fear. This choice dictates everything we experience in personal relationships, friendships, and every aspect of life. Do you dare to reach out? Or do you pull back in fear of rejection or looking foolish? We are all the same inside, and there is a river of thought flowing through all people. Some have a deeper stream than others, and all we can do is test the waters and see if we can positively expand our minds or not.


Emotions


The other river is one of the emotions tied directly to our thoughts. They go hand in hand. The views we choose to focus on will dictate the feelings we experience. It seems to be a cause-and-effect relationship we have been experiencing since birth and will until we leave this life. The difference is that you can become more conscious about this relationship and change the thoughts we choose to focus on and their corresponding emotions.


It is essential to know this because you are not unique in your emotional functions. All people are working on the inside in the same way. The differences come from our programming and experiences. One experience can change our lives for the better or present an emotional challenge. How we choose to deal with them will dictate our happiness at the moment and our effectiveness in life.


It is essential to realize how understanding our emotions and thoughts can lead to a more productive life. We have made connections through our experiences and joy, sadness, anger, frustration, longing, love, or any other emotion. Our thoughts can take a situation that is just a little bit similar to something from our past and interject positivity or despair into it based on programming. Understanding this emotional connection, we can evaluate what we are feeling and why. Are you angry at what just happened, or is it connected to something from your past? The difference is immense. Why get all upset and angry over something which occurred 20 years ago? That event is long gone and can’t be changed. It is up to you if you let the experience control your life today. When you look at someone else and their emotions, understand they are just like you on the inside and have some compassion and empathy.


Compassion and Empathy


Since we are all the same on the inside, we all have thoughts and emotions running nonstop for all of our lives. Take a little time, and work it into your life. Look at other people through the lens of connectivity rather than the view of separation. Allowing yourself to step inside of the shoes of another and see their thoughts and feel their emotions can give you an insight into life. The value of this is to adopt a philosophy of compassion for the struggles and difficulties faced by other people and make your little corner of the world a little bit brighter. Show some kindness even when you don’t have to. Compassion is the international language of caring, and it is never a lousy time for it. Judge others less and accept their differences more because, on the inside, they are just like you. A human being deals with their two continuous rivers of thought and emotion.


Empathy is the ability to understand the situation another is experiencing, and I think to be accepting of their circumstances. All people are capable of great kindness and caring but can also be just as mean and uncaring. We can make the conscious choice of being empathetic or judgmental, and that decision will dictate our effect on the world and what kind of person we will be. Consciously practicing empathy allows you to put a small positive influence on the planet and those you encounter each time. There is no telling where this little positive flow you create will affect the world.


Each of us is in this experience of life and looking for meaning. Sometimes it is easy and others more complex. There are nonstop moments, and each has value. What precisely that value is will be determined by our ability to look at others and see that everyone is the same basic stuff inside. Experiences and programming have led to how a person thinks and feels about things. In all things, we have much more in common than the differences we could ever carry. Take time today to look at all people with empathy and compassion. Practice kindness and understanding, and see how your rivers of thought and emotion are affected.


“Whatever is my right as a man is also the right of another.” – Thomas Paine


“I believe in equality for everyone.” – Mahatma Gandhi


“When I look at a person, I see a person – not a rank, not a class, not a title.” – Criss Jami


“Don’t let your luggage define your travels, and each life unravels differently.” – Shane Koyczan


“You can’t make a difference unless you are different.” – Chris Hodges




 


 


 

	

	
	




	
	

				

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The Moments That Matter

		

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Your perspective on life will determine your success, and that is the way of it, whether you like it or not. How you look at the experiences you have will choose your thoughts on life, the people in your life, the places you go, and ultimately which goals are achievable and which are not. Even the most talented and motivated people will not be at their best every day, and if you are not functioning at your highest capacity, are you contributing in every moment? Does every minute of your life matter to the results of your experiences and accomplishments?


My philosophy is that every minute in your life matters, and those who take the time to evaluate themselves, their efforts, and where their place in the world can find value in each moment. We are limited in the number of minutes we have in life, and it is up to us what we do with them. The choice of enjoyment or boredom is yours and yours alone each day. And, of course, who is to say what one seemingly little minute in your life will lead to? Every minute is the gateway to the best version of yourself. Do you walk through it, stand in front, or walk away from it?


Life Is Short


Our human experience is valuable because there is no clear ending to the journey. It could be many years, or it could be in five minutes. Nobody knows. Yet most of us live our lives as if all the time in the world is at our disposal. It isn’t, and the acceptance and understanding that at some point, this life is going to end give all experiences, moments, and minutes a meaning. Each one will matter before the end, for sure, and often to others around you. What are you doing with your time?


Most people do not live life consciously thinking about the value of the minutes, but if you take a minute and think about it, you can find ways to make each of your minutes a little more valuable. Just as gold or diamonds have a perceived value because of their rarity, should your minutes be treated. Each one is unique and will never come again. Spending time doing what makes you come alive is the most meaningful way is the best way to make your moments last. You get the choice to appreciate what you have in your life or not.


You Choose The Value of Your Minutes


The choice is the action that makes our lives uniquely our responsibility. We choose the value of all things in our lives. We decide how valuable the people we spend time with are or are not. Is this day disappointing, or is it the gateway to something beautiful? That is a choice only you can make about your own life, and you make it every minute. Don’t accept that some minutes are better than others because of factors outside of yourself. That makes you the victim of circumstance and not the master of your fate. You choose on the inside the value that any activity has to you. That is being proactive and will lead to greater enjoyment. If you are reading, decide to value it.


Some would question if you find value if you are not contributing to something or building toward something. But I think your life is something and each moment has a chance to be built into whatever you want. You may not see the value now, but two years from now or a week from now, you will realize the foundation you have started today. If you are not currently building toward something, then you have the power to create a purpose for yourself. Start a new project. Look for a place you can make a difference. Move your sphere of awareness to what you can contribute to the world to make things better in a small way. Helping others provides a feeling of contributing to the world and building a better life for yourself. You are the only one who can choose to value each minute you have.


Responsible for Meaning


Who is to say what value is. It may be one thing, and another person may find something different to be of value to them. Personal choice is going to play a role in this. Look at the last year of my life. Some moments were better than any I have ever known and some worse than any I could imagine. For sure, both of them were valuable for different reasons. Significant change inside of myself has been the result of both extremes. Goals have been reached, which could never have been achieved in any other way. My perspective on life has adjusted more positively because of these learning moments.


Each moment good and evil forced me to change how I looked at myself and dealt with my emotions. All of life is a learning experience, and in this classroom, you are the one who decides if you “pass” and take something significant into the next moment of your life. Or if you “fail” and sit around, feeling sorry for yourself. You are the only one who can choose the value of your life and the moments in it. If you decide to be more honest, open, and understanding because of your experience, it has value. In each moment you live. We are responsible for ourselves and our happiness. You can’t blame anyone else, and you can’t wait for that job, person, or experience to provide value to your life. You have to do it yourself.


Never Underestimate Your Value


We are all connected in this journey of life. We create barriers to separate ourselves from everyone else, but still, there are far more things that join us all. We are all searching for the meaning of one sort or another. Each person we come in contact with has an impact of some kind on them and us. Even if it is minimal, it is still an influence. You can decide how you let that influence affect you. Some people measure the value of their life through degrees earned, awards won, or even material possessions collected. But none of these things truly define a person’s worth. That can only be determined by the positive manner in which they affect the lives of people they come in contact with.


Look at your life and see what positive things you have contributed to the lives of others. Are people better off for your being in their life? If you doubt your contribution, then make a conscious choice to be more of an influence. It doesn’t take money, and it takes a conscious decision to make your life meaningful every minute. Simple things like honesty, encouragement, gratitude, appreciation, and joy of experience can change others’ lives. In looking to make others’ lives better, the life you really will change is your own. The answers to any problem you face might appear at this very minute, and I can’t think of anything more valuable than that.


    

  • “While we are postponing, life speeds by.” Seneca
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  • “If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.” Benjamin Franklin
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  • “Spare moments are the gold dust of time.” Bishop Hail
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  • “I’ve always believed in savoring the moments. In the end, they are the only things we’ll have.” Anna Godbersen
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  • “To do two things at once is to do neither.” Publilius Syrus
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  • “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” Marcus Aurelius
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  • “When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.” Shannon L. Alder
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  • “If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” Bruce Lee
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A Challenging Game

		

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The Hard Game of Life


Life is a challenging game, sometimes. No matter what you do or how you try to find the gentler 8235367099_8230f69c0cside of life, the easier the hard times seem to seek you out. When I look at people in their late teens and early twenties today, I have a hard time not telling them to be careful. There are some dark times in every life. Don’t worry too much, though, because they will bring you a lesson that will help you learn a valuable lesson. DO NOT BE AFRAID!


Look for the tough times that are inevitably going to come. But you know the warning is going to go unheeded. These words of caution are summarily dismissed as the rants of someone too old to understand the world today.   Yet, I know that that conversation will be quite different in twenty years.   Some of those “hard times” will give you your greatest gifts and allow you to stretch to lengths that you would have never reached without them.


If Experiences Didn’t Hurt, You Wouldn’t Pay Attention.


Every day, the experiences we have are not meant to be either easy or hard. Enjoyable or unpleasant. They are simply experiences that we apply our labels to based on our 304291_403371469749477_15828334_nexpectations of life and our limited knowledge of everything.


It is challenging to address hard things that way because if they are unpleasant or not desired, how can you not dislike that moment? If you had a broken arm or found out that you had cancer or any other experience that is on the negative side, who wouldn’t wish that away. Yet, our natural character and strength are revealed in these moments of despair and testing. Your strength will be tested, and your power revealed.


Personally, my dark times were not welcome, and I blamed everyone for the fact that things were taken from me for a long time. There was a lot of time wasted because, in the end, those experiences I detested and wanted to avoid allowed me to become more than I ever dreamed I could be. There is a well of kindness in your soul that needs to be released to do good, and sometimes the hard times provide the method.


Life doesn’t have to be challenging, but the lessons that are harder to learn to provide the whetted stone on which our talents are sharpened to their most helpful existence. You know in a more meaningful way than you ever have before. You may find hidden talents that would have never risen to the surface without the painful and necessary letting go of the past, who no longer carry the ideas and thoughts that now embody your personal experience.


One Constant in life is, It Goes On.


The everyday experiences of our existence are only opportunities for learning everything, from our way of dealing with people to accepting how we feel about and view ourselves. I look at those young people who dream of a comfortable life, and I understand why they think that way. It would be nice to sail calm seas for life. But that is not the way for any human being. Challenges are coming your way and to expect you can avoid them is to become delusional. They will be here waiting for you.


Yet to be tested and to find that you pass and that you are made of sterner stuff than you ever would have imagined is a priceless lesson. Don’t fear the hard times. Accept them as the learning experiences they are, and do what all successful people do, keep on moving forward with the lessons you have so honestly earned. Lay claim to your power and don’t give it away to people who don’t care about you or only care about themselves.


It seems that life needs to have moments of difficulty for us to examine our souls’ contents and value our actions. Things that are difficult to endure allow you to appreciate the little things in life that you have forgotten to pay attention to.


You are a wonderful human soul with unlimited possibilities, and the fences around your thought only limit the greatness you can achieve.




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They Make Life Interesting

		

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There is something about a baby that brings out the emotions in everyone. Some get downright giddy and gushy about the overall cuteness of a newborn. They are tiny and helpless and seem to be a literal bundle of joy. Most people like seeing and being around babies because it brings them joy. Some do not. They shy away, make sarcastic comments, at least to themselves, and try to move on with their lives.  The difference between these two reactions makes me look at my feelings when faced with the prospect of interacting with a newborn.  I am honestly in the middle of these two reactions, but I am more concerned with understanding what is ahead of any child as they start on the journey of life.  Some are going to be fantastic, and that is exciting, but life is not all about sunshine and rainbows, and there are going to be things that are unpleasant, challenging, and downright painful in the future of even the cutest baby.  So I look at any life to understand the almost necessary hardships and challenges that are ahead.


But There Will Be Sunshine And Rainbows


On the positive side, there will be sunshine and rainbows to experience in any life.  All people will have enjoyable times with you and make you feel happy, excited, powerful, strong, loved, understood, accessible, and many more positives.  These can happen every day, and I wish everyone more of these things than their opposites.  With youth comes a lack of understanding that all items are changing, and nothing will last forever.  I know my appreciation for something of this tenor is far greater now with the understanding that times in your life are never going to come back again.  The person I was and my experiences as a younger person only live in memories.  I have been fortunate to have great victories, creations, joys, kindness, and adventure.


 


Your perspective on things and attitude about them is the most important factor a person will develop, determining how they will enjoy life.  One person can look at something and only see the wrong things, and another looks at the same thing and sees what is right.  Being able to see the good and appreciate it will make life much more enjoyable. But as I look into the face of a newborn baby, I know much of choice in this area will be made by the programming they receive over the early part of life.  What tools will they get from life? How will experience mold them? How many hard lessons will be left for adulthood and experience to drive home in the most potent way?  There are many great things in every life, but a person has to grasp ahold of them and enjoy them.


Dark Clouds and Pitfalls


All people who think at all realize there will be things in life that are not so pleasant. There are times when we will all suffer. There will be losses, disappointments, rejection, failure, unfair treatment, and bad choices, which will color your life differently.  When I see an innocent child, I have a small amount of pity for them because they have no idea what is coming. Like a tidal wave rolling through the ocean, you can’t see it right now, but inevitably it will bring destruction to a shore somewhere.  There are waves in the future.


I have seen my share of these, and they shape your thoughts, reactions, and view of the world.  The fear of this suffering can stop you from growing and cause you to play a small, safe game, and they never push to achieve anything inside their thoughts.  Some will use their difficulties to spring into a more fantastic version of themselves.  Which will this child be?  Every day, every person you encounter in the world is making this decision and living it out.  What have your difficult experiences done to you? I have had experiences that have caused me to suffer.  All were my doing, and their effect on me was self-induced.  After all the pain life can give you, I have found that there is a chance to become a deeper, more understanding, and better person.  I envy people who come to these realizations without the experience of broken things to teach them.  Each dark cloud that passed my way and every pitfall I was trapped by has taught me something. I am hoping I have learned the proper lessons.


Clean Slates and Hopes


A friend told me that looking at a child and looking in their eyes is like seeing a clean slate with the hope that all the good things in life are in front of them.  Children are always learning, and we should all maintain that aspect of childhood because we never stop being taught by experience. The blank slate of a child doesn’t last long as they are taught the morals, expectations, and fears of their parents, relatives, institutions, and society in general.  All of these factors weave their way into a person’s mind and influence how they think and what role they should play to fit into society and the world in general.  They may be buried under a pile of expectations and painful experiences of disappointment in life.  Has everything been handed to them in life? Or have they had to work for what they want?


Each slate will quickly be covered with life’s experiences, lessons, and thoughts and how they can be applied to other people in life. Each child will start to make their own decisions and develop an attitude. Some will make the world better through their light and laugh, and others will bring darkness to the world, which is the hard truth. Most people will do both at different points in their lives. Based on the experiences they are having at the time.  Without an opportunity to process and evaluate experiences positively, it is hard for someone to learn valuable lessons and not let the suffering harm them permanently. Each story of life is unique, and there are no guarantees for any child about what the future holds. And that knowledge is in my mind when I look into the eyes of a child, and it is my fear for them that rises to the surface.


But that Is Life


Regardless of my fears and feelings about life, it is still the game we are in, and we have no choice but to play it.  It is a game that can’t be “won.” It can only be processed and played out to its conclusion. So many of our experiences are directly in our control, and we have nobody to blame but ourselves for the outcome. It comes down to a simple choice, and all people have to make it for themselves.  Be responsible and proactive about your options or be reactive and blame everyone and everything else for where you are.  Wherever you choose to focus will determine the level of joy you experience and how you play your game.


Life is a package deal that will bring you a pretty equal measure of sunny days and those filled with rain. It is the way you approach each which makes you who you are.  It will challenge you, push you, and grow because when we are young children, it has a potential for greatness within us, and if we aren’t moving ourselves toward it, life will nudge us in that direction.  Those nudges can hurt.  So when you observe any person today, as you walk down the street or drive past them in a car, or sit near them at a local coffee shop, recognize the young child in them, with a blank slate that has been written on with the chalk of their life experiences.  Understand they are processing their challenges and pain.  I believe we are all doing the best we can.  In the end, I have hope for every person; it will all turn out OK in the future.  What is your story going to be?


So should you find yourself face to face with a newborn on this day, think to yourself of the challenges that will inevitably face this young innocent. Then remember that your journey has been the same and that you are doing the best you can in your journey.  Wish the child and yourself the best on the trip through life, and remember it is a relatively short game.


“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”– Duke Ellington




“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”– Thich Nhat Hanh




“Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.”– Leroy Satchel Paige




“It is only in our darkest hours that we may discover the true strength of the brilliant light within ourselves that can never, ever, be dimmed.”– Doe Zantamata




“Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want.”– Jim Rohn




“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.”– Og Mandino 



	

	
	




	
	

				

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Day of Hope

		

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 It is only natural to look back and reflect on the events of your life and attempt to give them meaning in your life. Positive and negative things happen in life, and there is always a lesson to learn. I have had many of these over the past year, some big and some small but all significant. This writing is a short attempt to list these lessons hoping someone else will benefit from my experiences.  Each is a wish to you that you will find joy every morning when you wake up and carry that feeling throughout your day.  Life is full of situations that take our happiness. You deserve to be joyful and have a heart that sings in the light of hope, which breaks in every new day.


 Life is too short to be unhappy.


It doesn’t matter if it is in your job, your relationship, or just living life from day today. If you are unhappy with something continually, you need to make changes. Our experience is finite and short and could end at any moment. It is too valuable a time to be spent doing something you don’t enjoy or with people who are toxic or make you feel bad.


Choose the activities and people who build you up that make you feel valued and happy in your daily life. Once you find them, enjoy them while they are there because they may not be there forever.  One day at a time is the only way to live.  Enjoy things at the moment and understand that is all there is. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone. Yesterday is gone, and you can’t get it back.  Enjoy the moments. Life is too short to be unhappy all the time.


Taking Action Will Change Your Life


Taking action is one of the essential igniters of positive change. You can plan all you want, weigh all the options, and compare the pros d9239926ad454b109a067852b7c854e5and cons for weeks and months, but only through action can you find out what will work and what will not. There is a power in this knowledge that empowers you, and it defeats fear because what is fear but a thought, worrying about what might happen?


With action, you know what will happen, which will change your life. Actions don’t always work out the way you envision, but they still bring answers, and in the knowledge, there is power and in power is an inner strength that guides a joyous life. It takes courage to take action, but the alternative to brave decisions is to live a half-life of thought. You will never know, dreaming continually of what might happen or what you could be. Take your action, place your bet, push your chips to the middle of the table, and see what kind of cards you get.  At worst, you will learn. At best, you will become that person of your dreams.


Gratitude should be a part of Life.


I know that gratitude is supposed to be a part of your life. Here are the things I experienced with gratitude this year. First, taking a moment to be grateful for things builds a genuine appreciation. You realize that you have great things in your life and your mindset naturally moves from one of lack to one of abundance. You never know when something will change, turning your life upside down. Some things you love will leave, and it is up to you to carve happiness out of the life left behind you. Be grateful for what you have right now and the joy it brings you.


Begin each day with a mental list of all the people and things you are grateful for today. That mindset will allow you to look more objectively at life. Too often create an automated list of all the problems we are facing and difficulties in life, and we are taking our focus on the issues we have. Where focus goes, energy flows.  Like all people, there were difficulties this year for me, but maintaining my gratitude for what I do has, allowed me to survive. It was not easy at times, but I am still here.


We Must change limiting Beliefs


I have been on the trail of my own limiting beliefs for many years, and this year I have had experience changing them and seeing that change play out in my life. Our limiting beliefs are built as we develop early in life, and they work to create our experience in life and lead to what we expect from that experience. It depends on the message we received and how it was delivered. y We are taking in a lot of


Limiting beliefs lead to the same old thinking and disappointing results, a closed-loop or negative feedback mindset. Change is up to you!!


Information and figuring out where we fit in the world. As children, the conclusions we come to are hard-wired into our subconscious and rule our actions for the rest of our lives, unless we change them.


Changing a limiting belief can be a challenge. You can do it through hypnosis, repetition of affirmations, and sometimes direct old willpower. (Having enough)  I have changed my own beliefs to some degree and want to see what I want in life. I have also experienced setbacks and heartbreaks because of the limits I placed in my mind.  You can change.  You can do this new way, and it doesn’t have to take a long time to do it. You have to be willing to change how you think about things and desire a change in your life experience.


People are Doing the Best They Can


Many people have come into my life over the years, some for a short time, and 652679b6410f79187f23594de87c42e8some seemingly for the duration. Each one has brought a lesson of some kind because all people come ready-made with addresses attached. How to live, how not to live, do this, or don’t do that, this is how you treat others, and how never to treat someone else. These lessons have been there throughout my life, but I have never really seen them with the clarity I do now.  Pain is a great teacher, and it has ingrained its lessons in my life.


Even the meanest, least pleasant person you meet has a lesson for you. It might be as simple as don’t ever make others feel the way this person makes people think.  Or it could be more complicated, but look for the lesson in each person you see each day and be conscious of the class that you are teaching others each day. The lessons you teach others are your legacy and the things that will be revisited you in your life. When you have a choice, be kind, understanding, and considerate of the needs of others. But never compromise who you are to please someone else. When you do, you cease being you, which is a crime.


Everyone Sees Life Differently


The reality experienced in life is different for everyone. You and I can share the same thing and have two different 1b465430941f2e3e0320f04192a70ebcinterpretations of the event. Our biases, beliefs, understanding, and experiences will color every event that happens. People generally believe what they want about people, events, and things. Two individuals can look at a star-filled sky. And one sees the wonder of the universe, and the other sees darkness. Be understanding of these differences and talk about them with those you share things with.  Through communication, your experience can be broader, and you can, in turn, make someone else see more.


Over the past year, I have seen more of this. I have learned that it doesn’t do any good to proclaim the correctness of your perspective because if others have a different experience, no words you say can change their minds and vice versa. Be open to the views of other people. They may teach you something. Things don’t always have to be labeled as right or wrong, but they all can teach you something. Growth is the purpose of this life, and other people will allow you to grow.


Questions are Our most Powerful Tools


when you ask a question, your mind seeks an answer. It is a natural way to gain information, but items work in moving your thoughts and mind toward places you want to go and things you want to accomplish. How can it get better than this? How can this work out better than I could have imagined? What lesson is in this experience for me? What should I do next? What are the actions I should take now?


These are just some of the questions, and then the secret is to let the answers keep coming to you. The first one might be the best, but it might not, and it might just be easiest. Keep seeking answers because once you have accepted the solution, the possibilities are ended too, and there is nothing else you can create from that.


If you examine your answers but keep seeking them, you will find there are others. I have learned that as learners, we have been conditioned to accept the first answer we come to and file it away. Ask questions in the new year, and never stop looking for the answers for the rest of your life.


Some of My Favorite Books


For me, there is a list of books that have influenced me and my thoughts this year. Each of these added to my life and will add to yours, and I highly recommend them. Reading expands your mind, makes you think, and allows you to change your life.


    

  1. The Alchemist- Paulo Coello
    2. 

  2. The Four Agreements- Don Miguel Ruiz
    3. 

  3. The Biology of Belief- Bruce Lipton
    4. 

  4. The Greatest Miracle in the World- Og Mandino
    5. 

  5. Being You! Changing the World- Dain Heer
    6. 

  6. Awaken the Giant Within- Tony Robbins
    7. 

  7. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success- Carol Dweck
    8. 

  8. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People- Steven Covey
    9. 



Reading is the best way to take in information and expand your mind. You can learn from the mistakes of others and glean wisdom from their experience. Often you can find your way through troubles and get a positive compass reading to avoid the pitfalls of your journey.


No matter what you have been through, life will continue, and what you learn from your experience is up to you and the story you tell yourself about it. The report will create a belief, and that idea will work in your life.  Whether those stories are positive or negative is up to you.


“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”– C. S. Lewis  Trust God Quotes


“It takes strength to step enthusiastically into each day of our lives. This strength comes more readily on some days than on others, but every day makes demands on us.”— Karen Casey, The Promise of a New Day




“Every day that you open your eyes is a new day and another day to get it right.” Jean Renee Porter, A New Day




 

	

	
	




	
	

				

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You Are Not Stuck

		

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“If You Don’t Like Where You Are, move! You’re Not a Tree.”


you-are-not-a-tree-cropSo many times, we feel stuck. In a job, in a relationship, or in the town we live in, stuck in our current circumstances, which are not fulfilling. We feel stuck where we are with no hope of moving on to something else that provides a challenge, contentment, or happiness.  The truth is that we are only as stuck as our mind decides that we are. As people, we have been given the talent to make new choices and take new paths, which lead to new beginnings and an unlimited future of possibilities.


The Problem with Being a Tree


Tree problems
Tree problems


Trees have it rough. They are stuck standing exactly where they were born, day after day, year after year, with no hope of change. This attitude subjects them to the dangers of the weather, as winds blow, snowfalls, and rain pelts them unmercifully throughout the long years of their lives. Many people feel like they are trees as they stand deeply rooted in their beliefs, which many times limit your potential.  We believe there is no other way to be as the winds of life and the world abuses us.


Yet we can move. We can go anywhere we want to go, and we have to choose to go there. Movement allows for new experiences and provides an endless opportunity for growth, and growth is what keeps life interesting. You are not a tree, and you can move away from your past’s deeply rooted limiting beliefs.


Your Choice to Move


What can stop us once we choose to move and take control of our destiny? We can jumpin_riverstretch ourselves into a new life, experiencing a new type of energy. We can dance to the music that moves us in our souls. We have the talent to carry anywhere, and by being able to go anywhere, we can do almost anything. You are blessed with the ability to choose your life experience.  It may seem like there are too many details to work out or other blocks to moving along and finding a new situation.  Don’t let them stop you.


If you are unhappy where you stand, then it is time to find a new forest. If you understand your unhappiness and choose to make no changes, you have only yourself to blame for the unhappiness that comes from living in a situation that isn’t kind to you.  You are not a tree, and moving on is always an option.


It Only Makes Sense To Move On


walking-away_2So here, you are living a life that is not making you happy or providing an incredibly fulfilling experience all people deserve.  If you don’t feel appreciated or valued, don’t you think it is time to move to find your value. Not all situations are the same, not all people are mean, and not all people are unappreciative. You are not a tree and can move your life to greener pastures where the water is plentiful and the weather is soft and kind. It is all up to you.  Go out and look for a better tomorrow.


Usually, that journey, no matter how long for you, will start on the inside.  In your soul, which will tell you what you need to be happy.  Moving on is the final step in letting the past go.  Any pain or regret is left in the rearview mirror, where it can’t burden your current mission. You deserve to be happy, and the world needs your gifts, whatever they are.


“If You Don’t Like Where You Are, move! You’re Not a Tree.”




 

	

	
	




	
	

				

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Know Your Focus

		

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What do you think and talk about Expands


Do you want to know what is important to someone?  Anyone at all? Look at their lives, and you will see the things in them that describe what they are thinking and talking about.  It never fails. This process means listening and observing below the surface of the conversation.  If you are living from your ego, then you are a fixed mindset person, which will dictate your focus on making sure your image is protected rather than nurturing who you are.  What you think and talk about expands, and what you ignore and keep to yourself does not.  Where is your focus today? Choose it wisely.


Focus on Growth through Change


I hope to develop a continual focus on growth as a person, which means embracing changes.  This philosophy is not straightforward because sometimes change hurts emotionally.  To face a difference in your life may require you to leave all you know and move to a new location. You may have to leave a loved one behind.   It may require you to abandon some beliefs you have held on to.  Growth is a process that embraces change, and change can only be accepted and influential if you focus on it as a benefit.  Attitude is everything, and when push comes to shove, most people don’t want to change a thing in their lives. Either they like something in their lives and fear losing it. Or, if things are bad, they might worsen if change happens. Dislike of change can be an instinctual reaction.


Every day there are changes from the day before. Sometimes the changes are subtle and almost invisible. Other times they are monumental and life-altering. Change is inevitable and constant; learn to embrace the changes coming to you.  Focus on accepting the changes happening in your life. See them become better and speak about them that way.  Focus on the growth you see in your life as a good thing, and it will be. Look at difference as a painful loss, and that experience will be yours just as easy.  Your focus will determine the growth of an idea in this genre.


Challenges Are Great


The same mental attitude applies to the challenges we face. Focus on the positive things a problem brings. Learn to embrace them. An issue will pop up all the time, and some people try to avoid them at all costs.  It is much easier to drift down a river unencumbered. But no matter how much you try, eventually, rocks will be in your way, and either you learn to navigate around them or get crushed on them.  That is a matter of mindset.


Look at successful businesses but never look at the terrain ahead.  What works today may not work tomorrow.  Embracing the challenge of the effects of new technology or a societal shift in purchasing will be the difference between failure and thrive moving forward. How you focus your mind will determine the fate of your business. There is little chance to grow if your focus is where you are. Focus where you want to go, allowing you to handle what rocks are in your way.


Do you Think People can Learn things, or are they born with the talent?


Ego tells us talent is everything. But is it?  Where is your focus? There will be cases where a person is just gifted with a God-given ability to do something, but to be great, you can’t have a fixed mindset. A limited perspective will lead you to make attachments in your mind to a particular outcome of any activity, limiting the number of experiences. There is a near unlimited list of possible issues that exist, some you may never have thought of and would enjoy the best. Limiting your experience is also a sign that you live through your ego.  Challenges are avoided, and if you would instead give up than be proven wrong,  you are anchoring your experiences to a fixed point.


 


Most people, including me, have a narrow focus when we approach some things with a fixed mindset. I catch myself all the time having thoughts that could come from growth.  Noticing these thoughts for what they are will allow you to make a different choice and grow from an experience. Skills can be learned, developed, and mastered over time.  Decide what you want to do, and then pursue it. Ask questions, and learn from all sources that make sense.  Do not be afraid not to know something because you will find the answers once you know you don’t know.  Other people will help you become better, which is not bad.


The first sentence of this writing tells a story about what you think about and talk about as life expands. If you focus on your problems, guess what you will have more of?  If you focus on the good things in life, imagine what you will have more of?  It is all up to you and your focus.  Look long and hard at the decisions you are making that direct your attention. Then look at your life and what you are getting out of it and see the connection between them. If you don’t like it, change your focus to something more growth-oriented, making a difference.


“That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it because once you get there, you can move mountains.”- Steve Jobs.


“The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.”- Brian Tracy.


“The successful man is the average man, focused.”




 

	

	
	




	
	

				

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Can You Think??

		

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“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason, so few engage in it.”

 ― Henry Ford


thinking
At the very least, you think, my friend.


What It Means To Think


The ability to think is a craft that has been too often disregarded by most people today. We let so many other things fill our minds rather than pure, sober thought. When we use our thoughts, they are often twisted, harmful vines of gossip or judgment that do no positive good to ourselves or anybody else.  The good news is that it is not too late to learn how to focus on the moment, allowing your thoughts to lead away from the negative and toward the positives of creativity.


Conformity Is A Cage of Mediocrity


From the moment I was born, people seemed to push me into a box of conformity.  We are all persuaded and made to “just fit in”  and not be different because when someone is conformity is the jailerso bold as to be different from the crowd, there is no reward, only ridicule from peers and teachers.


The problem with conformity is there is no originality, and without original thought, there can be nothing new, and nothing new will change.  It is a paradox that people strive to fit in when anybody who ever did anything worthwhile stood out, was different, and had original thoughts.  So the first thing you should do is stop being one of the crowd and start being yourself.  When you see a question, don’t just look for the answer; look for the process to get the answer.  Think outside of the box, and don’t be afraid.  Your greatness is just one thought away because ideas do become things.


Choose Your Thoughts Wisely


Choose your thoughts? A perfect friend of mine once told me that there was no way he could choose his studies because his brain just worked too darn fast to try to control.  That may be true. I have no way of knowing, but even my quick-thinking friend can choose which thoughts he gives credence to and which ones he lets float away.  Your mind is a you are what you thinkmachine that works hard to allow you to understand the world. It will think about many things. Some are positive about things you like and support.  Then there are the negative thoughts of gossip, anger, hatred, discrimination, greed, etc.  You choose what to do with your thoughts, entertain them, or dismiss them entirely.  Which direction you decide to go in will determine much about the quality of your life and what you experience.  So always choose your thoughts wisely. What you think will determine the pleasure you experience in life.


What You Put In Your Mind Matters


An old saying is that what you put into your mind is exactly what you will get out of it.  Today we are a society of easy answers and quick fixes.  There is instant entertainment available virtually everywhere now, thanks to smartphones and tablets.  This modernization is all wonderful, except that many people choose mindless games to play and programs to watch with little intellectual value.


Some entertainment can be great, but there are so many negative messages sent through the media and on the internet that it can become difficult to feel even the slightest bit positive about ourselves.  This manipulation is because marketers figured out a long time ago that you will do almost anything to feel good if they can make you feel bad about yourself.  This most often involves buying whatever they sell, making you prettier, sexier, thinner, or more attractive.


Even the shows that should be educational, like the news, drive their programming on negative stories designed to instill fear or spread cheap gossip. Suppose you want to be able to think then, for at least a small portion of time every day read an actual book.  Read about philosophy or ideas that might broaden your mind.  Reading is an interactive process that increases your ability to think. The more you do it, the greater your power.  If you don’t believe me, put down the phone, turn off the computer or television, and read for just half an hour a day.  The results will astound you.  Reading is the key to the doorway of thought, be brave and open it.


Keep Your Mind Open


Once you start thinking, you will think you know it all and are pretty sure open mindabout how the world works.  The most intelligent thing that anyone can do is to understand that no matter how smart they are, they do not, nor will they ever know it all.  There is always something else to learn, some theory to try, some perplexing problem to solve.  Every thought is a step on the path of growth, and you can’t be too surprised when today’s fact turns into a stepping stone to help you reach tomorrow’s truth.


Thinking is a lot like building a pyramid. You can create the top until you place all of the concrete stones at the foundation, then the next level, and then the next.  Keep your mind open to give credence to thoughts you haven’t considered, test them, question them, and evaluate their merits.  Only then can you glean the wisdom or folly of every idea you encounter.  A closed mind will never shed any light on the world, whereas an open mind may provide an opening as bright as the sun.


Someday, You May Need This


When you read this, you may not pay attention right now, which is OK. You may want to hold on to your entertainment, and you may not like to read. Maybe you don’t want to stand out from the crowd because people might talk about you.  That is your choice, and I respect that.  At the moment in life, you think, “ Is this it?”  or “what is life all about?” I want you to come here and read this.  Those questions are the spark of all proper thought, and you will have a hard time finding happiness until you learn to evaluate the messages from your mind.




“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”

― Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader