Encouraging Word of the Day

Honest-free of deceit and untruthfulness; sincere.

There seem to be many layers of human behavior I can’t seem to grasp, in others and in myself and why we are simply not more honest is one of them. I was told once that all people lie at least once every day. I of argued against that but after analyzing my own behavior I can see that there are times we are all less than honest.  They may be white lies to not hurt someone’s feelings but an untruth is an untruth.  So The hope is that after reading this you will be conscious of how honest you are in thought, words, and actions.

White Lies

The first honest thing we must agree on is “we are all experienced liars.” Everyone has done it for various reasons, but honesty about that is a good place to start. White lies are the “harmless” lies we tell others to avoid causing unnecessary pain.  This may be a good practice, but personally, I would rather know the truth.  When you lie in this fashion, you are making the choice for someone else, what they can deal with and what information they need.

What is the limit when it comes to being dishonest? Where do you draw the line? Become conscious of your thoughts when it comes to honesty. Be aware of the words you choose and take actions to be more honest in life. I believe that even well-intentioned wrongs are still wrong.  Give people in your life the power to choose how to deal with things. That is how they will develop. It really isn’t your responsibility to hide the truth in any way.

Deception and Perception

All you need to do is look at social media accounts and you will see that honesteveryone is very talented at crafting a story of their life they want others to see. Many of our thoughts, words, and actions are less than honest because we are showing what we want the world to see.  It is natural to want to shine the most positive light on your life, but it is still not honest.  The things we omit are still not really honest.  What other people think really doesn’t matter. It is all just a thought in your mind of fear.

What kind of world would this be if people were honest all the time? I think that most people are guarded in this way because we are all afraid that we couldn’t possibly be accepted if people knew the truth. In relationships, this is also true. We all “hide our crazy”, in the beginning, because we fear that nobody could possibly accept us if they knew about the flaws.  Yet, I argue it is the flaws that create the masterpiece, the uniqueness that is beautiful in its own right.  People are afraid to be honest because they may be rejected by some.  Be honest about who you are and what you think in thought, word, and action.  Those who run from honest word or action,  make your life better by leaving. Let them go.

Value of Truth

If you took all the money in the world away, what value do we each have? The amount of honesty we bring to the world is the highest currency there would be. There is a comfort in being honest in life. If you do not accept lies from yourself, it is easy to spot them in others.  How honest someone else decides to be is their karma and their problem.  You can only worry about yourself and the level of honesty that you bring to the world.  I think that in order to be the best version of yourself, being honest about your actions and more importantly your feelings is a requirement.

Spend as little time possible worrying about how your thoughts, words or actions will affect others or their perception of you and simply be concerned about being honest.  In the end, your word is all that you have anyway.  Focus on the sincerity throughout your day. Note anything that is less than honest.  Correct it. See what happens.

The main reasons people don’t always tell the truth are:
  • Fear of harm: The easiest reason to understand why we lie is for self-protection, including self-deception, to prevent harm to ourselves. This harm can be either physical or mental.
  • Fear of conflict: To some degree, we all fear having an argument.
  • Fear of punishment: When growing up, how often did we lie about how well we did in school, or who started a fight? How often do we cover up our mistakes and transgressions?
  • Fear of rejection: Sometimes, our insecurities are the foundation of why we lie to each other because we want to remain popular in our relationships. Typically, it is harmless boasting to make ourselves appear more admirable to other people.
  • Fear of loss: This is usually the loss of personal objects, such as money or expensive valuables. Greed is the foundation for this reason and can be found in each of us. We often lie to make ourselves more desirable to other people too. Most common, people lie for fear of alienating their significant other. Other times, when our self-esteem starts to decline, we even lie to ourselves as means to prevent loss of morale.
  • Altruistic Reasons: We often lie to help our friends and loved ones. How often do we flattery someone just to make them feel better?  Or don’t tell the whole truth because we are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings?  This is the only selfless reason why we lie.

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” -Thomas Jefferson

“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.” – Spencer Johnson

“Honest hearts produce honest actions.”- Brigham Young

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