Tag Archives: Resentment

Avoiding the Negative Loop

This human experience can be confusing. As we try to figure out where we fit in, something changes, and we are left looking for a new equation that will lead to our success, acceptance, and happiness. But we spend time choosing and creating narrow attachments and expectations for the outcomes. If something doesn’t work out just like we think it should, that is bad, and we choose to be unhappy. When I let go of how I think the world should be and accept it, I can also find the good in each moment.

Suffering

Life is going to bring its share of challenges. No person will live for an extended period, having everything go just perfectly. If they did, there would be no opportunity for personal growth or self-development. You would be stagnant, just as you were. It w, and it is like continually being a child with no developing maturity. Suffering comes from the thought that what is happening in your life is not as you think it should be. Something is wrong and needs to be fixed. This can result from any challenge which shakes your reality.

It can be a relatively minor thing, like an annoying co-worker, to a big something like a loved one’s death. The idea you need to fix things because they are wrong will lead you to fear, worry, insecurity, resentment, criticism of others, criticism of yourself, tensions, stress, and all things which lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

What if you didn’t do that?

The alternative is to open your mind and develop a broader vision of life and the things it brings your way. Perhaps the experience you are having, no matter how unsavory or harmful, is precisely what is best for you now. You don’t have to like it, but not wanting something won’t make it go away. Dealing with the present moment will allow you to become better.

Living in the present moment, not worrying about what the future will be, or regretting the past, will allow you to make choices that honor the present and see where true fulfillment comes from. It isn’t attached to the events swirling around your life. A “good thing” here makes you happy. A “bad thing” makes you unhappy. Realizing they are all just things to which you give meaning through your mental conditioning, expectations, and attachments.

Your Power

This doesn’t mean you accept someone treating you poorly; when this occurs, you don’t take it personally as an indictment of your value and see it as a clear issue of the person mistreating you. A loved one’s death is a sad occasion, but feeling bad won’t bring anyone back to life; the reality of the situation is what it is. How you deal with it, move on from it, and see your gratitude for the departed person’s influence on your life will allow you to grow and develop your power despite the loss.

Shift of Perspective

It is not an easy shift, moving your perspective from one of the ego-defined expectations to source-centered acceptance. If a life of fulfillment is your ultimate goal, then some movement in this direction is warranted. It will allow you to not drift to and from happiness to sadness based on the things occurring outside of you. Living like this gives all the power to those things. Never knowing from moment to moment if you will have the rug pulled out from underneath you or not.

Learning to see events as things outside of you and not letting them define your happiness is a rare power. Not identifying with our conditioned expectations, we can approach all situations with an open mind and heart. This will bring on feelings of acceptance, well-being, and ease about the events of your life. They are things that happen, not defining points of your character. In this understanding and practice, one will probably realize that life is, in fact, OK, just as it is. What if our most feared moments are just opportunities to grow?

F.E.A.R.

Fear– an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

FearOne of the most challenging things that people face in life is fear. It is a formidable foe because it can rise in any area of your life at any moment.  Any experience in life can cause pain, and we are designed to avoid pain. So a traumatic experience at any age can cause fear to arise in your mind and affect your life. Fear can either be a motivator or a limiter to what you can and will accomplish in life.  Once you have been harmed, most people go to great lengths to avoid a repeat performance.  Raise your consciousness today, noticing the fear in your life. Look at where you are limited and the fear behind it in your thoughts, words, and actions.  By recognizing the fear and understanding its cause, the fear can be overcome and even eliminated. Try to be fearless. (See Video here)

Eliminate Fear

People often believe that the opposite of love is hate, but that isn’t true. Love’s opposite is fear.  All things seem to come down to a choice between love and concern.  To eliminate fear will, therefore, allow you to experience more love in your life.  Love should be your goal in all things. Not just the fearidealized version of attachment but the caring for others in the world, making your experience more positive.

The thoughts of fear are always in contrast to the ideas of love. Like two sides of the coin, they are there waiting for you to make a conscious choice of which one gets your attention.  There is a Cherokee parable about this battle in our hearts. Each of us has two wolves inside of us, fighting for control. One is love, and one is fear. Which one wins is the one you feed.

The thoughts of love are joy, peace, acceptance, hope, kindness, empathy, humility, and truth.

The thoughts of fear are anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, dishonesty, judgment, and ego.

Which one do you choose to feed? It is essential because overcoming fear will allow you to become a better human being. You are making your life and the lives of those around you a better experience only by consciously choosing the positive thoughts, words, and actions of love over those of fear. Be fearless.

Action Kills Fear

If you asked most people what they would like to do, they would tell you, but then follow it up with a list of reasons they can’t possibly do that right now. Lack of funds, time, freedom, acceptance, fearunderstanding are all reasons to keep dreams at a distance. These are all words of fear of talking.  The truth is behind the excuses is a fear of failure. A doubt has arisen in all of us since the beginning of our lives. But one that cane destroyed as quickly as all others.

The remedy to fear is action. Fear will kill your dreams, and work will open the doorway to achievement. Taking a vision from thought to action is scary because of all the things that can go wrong.  It is courage that allows you to move forward, take action, and see what happens.  No matter what happens, there are answers on the other side of action. Those answers will make your goals and dreams a reality or provide you with a roadmap of getting where you want to go.  Be brave and take action toward whatever it is you want to achieve. Be undaunted by potential failure. To do anything else is to cower in the darkness, hoping someone will stumble across your greatness.  Develop your excellence through action and defeat your fears.

Fear the Constant Companion

Fear is a constant companion in life. It is the brain trying to keep you safe.  But it is just a thought, and you have to decide what kind of life you will live. Life comes with no guarantees, and there are going to be situations that hurt you. That is life.  Learning to muster the courage to keep living fearfully, even though pain may happen, is how great experiences are created.  The only person who can be brave for you is you, so developing this talent will allow you to have the potential to accomplish anything.

So be conscious today and every day about the fears that are controlling your life. Where do they come from? What action will overcome it?  Become aware of your thoughts, words, and works around fear, and strive continuously to overcome it.  This conflict between your mind and your concern is the most significant battle we all face in life. Everything you dream about is on the other side of your victory over fear.

Questions about fear

What fears cause anxiety to you?

How do you deal with the emotion of fear?

What fears are most challenging for you to face?

How does fear help you in life?  How does it limit you?

Quotes About Fear

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.~Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. ~Marcus Aurelius

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.~Japanese Proverb

Be Fearless

 

 

Fight the Dark Side

Focus On the Force

Each of us has a power that we either use to help move us toward our goals or provide an excuse for not achieving what we want.  I think it is much more similar to life in the Star Wars franchise than we would probably admit. All people contain within themselves a duality. These two sides have a high potential to do things perceived as an excellent good or something representing evil.

All people contain this power within them, and that is the force of life.  It is not by magic that people end up living an authentic life. It is by conscious decision.  The choices we make in every moment dictate the nature of the force within us.  These choices are a refreshing combination of how we think about ourselves, the world, and everything in it.  Focus honestly on how you feel about things and your conscious thoughts today.  Notice the emotions that arise in you because of an idea. Then see the words and actions that come from that.  This process determines the power and nature of the force in you.  It all starts with thoughts.

Operating on the Light Side

We would all like to think of ourselves as being the hero and doing what is right always. That is not a human experience. It is a constant struggle between our two sides. Here is the simple formula for working with the forces of light.  Put others before yourself, be kind in thought and deed, accept the differences of others, feel joy, peace, serenity, love, hope, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.  All of these exist within us, and it is our choice to practice them or not.

What a world we would have if all people were able to function in this part of themselves.  If you look at how you like to be treated, all of these things are probably on the list. Choosing these things and meaning allows the force within you to help others. It isn’t always easy to think this way when you see someone doing something say to someone else or you. It is human nature to want to fight back and take an eye for an eye. When we are hurt, we want to cut back. To put that instinct aside and treat a situation with love will allow the force in you to do great good in the world.

Welcome to The Dark Side

Welcome to the dark side, which needs no introduction, I am sure because we all have one of these.  Our darkness exists by our insecurities, pains, and fears of our lives.  Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, superiority, and ego contribute to our dark side. These are thoughts that lead to words and actions that will directly or indirectly harm others somehow.  But the person who is hurt the most is you. The dark side of the force does contain the power, but it is corrupting, painful and takes away the good in the world for selfish gain.

Many people I have known can harm someone by directly consciously speaking words that exploit the insecurity of someone.  Then fear is generated, or selfishness, and that person has been infected.  Look at the people in your life and how they speak to you and others. Where on the scale of the force does their intention come from in each moment?  The allure of the dark side is that you will not have to suffer again. But the truth is, of course, your actions are causing you to experience. These thoughts and emotions wear you down and hurt you. To feel these things is the dark side.

Your Force is Always there.

Inside of each of us, this force I am trying to define is always available to you.  It is there to call on when you need strength to face a challenge.  Even in the most desperate times in life, remember the force in you will be there to push back the adversity and allow you to thrive if you let it.  You may have to make a course adjustment, learn a new skill, create a new goal, or start over.  Whatever the task ahead of you, the power to move toward it every day is the force inside you.

Be conscious of how you can help yourself and help others see the good in the world through you.  Take advantage of opportunities to show this. Consciously practice kindness even when there is no apparent gain for you.  Create hope for someone in the world.  Don’t let mindless anger brought on by fear control you. It solves nothing but creates pain in the world. Pain and suffering are the calling cards of the dark side of the force within you.

Where does your force lie?

Every day, you have a choice to cause pain and suffering to others or create joy and kindness.  These choices develop in the thoughts you choose to entertain.  Are they from the dark side, or are they from the light?  The force in you will always be there working on the side that you choose.  So choose your thoughts wisely.  The world depends on it.  And it all starts with your thoughts, the corresponding emotions they lead to, the tenor of the words you speak, and the actions you take.  All things will affect the force in you and the effect that energy has on the world.  Which side of the line do you fall on here?

“We must wake.” -Yoda

“Always pass on what you have learned.”- Yoda

“The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.”- Yoda