Wouldn’t it be nice if all we had to deal with in our lives was a success in all we do and happiness in all experiences? I think everyone would feel the same way, no sadness, loss, or grief, just happy things that are easy to deal with, yet we all know that life isn’t going to come as quickly as that. We all must go through some difficult times, and I think that is OK because you will never appreciate the good in life unless there is the opposite aspect to compare it to in life. There is always a flip side. How do you know that life is giving you what you need now? You are experiencing it. Please take a moment and focus your conscious thought on this very thought of how opposites teach you lessons and see what words and actions arise from it. It will probably be a better version of yourself, and you will value the joyous times and good experiences all the more when they happen.
Sunshine and Rain
No matter what your preferred weather is, there is difficulty enjoying it thoroughly without having experienced the opposite of your desired temperature. For me, it is the weather of the fall in the northeast.
We are blessed with pleasant temperatures and cooler weather at night, which is perfect for sleeping. Each day it seems that there is a different and wondrous color scheme on display. Fall has a feeling in your heart that you can’t explain, feel. Yet the appreciation I have for this season is deepened by the hot, uncomfortable summer weather and the oncoming extreme cold and snow of winter. Those intense experiences help you tune into the perfection of September/October that you are experiencing in the perfect dance of autumn.
If the weather were as you like, all of the time, you would eventually find that you lose the special appreciation you have for it. It would be more difficult at any rate to find that appreciation for the beautiful autumn days, and they would be “days.”
I think this is true about all things in life. We need to have what we don’t want to know what we do want and, more importantly, appreciate it when it is in our lives and seek it out daily if you can.
Being Alone Leads To Growth
Most people long for comfort and company, yet many have this in their lives and manage to throw it away because of a bit of moment or slight that they perceive. If you
have ever been without someone who “gets you” and is forced to live your life truly on 
your own, then it is difficult to appreciate it when you have that connection partner in your life.
You would be much less likely to throw that relationship away if you knew what real loneliness felt like inside. The warmth of happiness and connection should stop people from cheating and taking their partners for granted. The opposite side of this coin would help many a relationship find its way through rough waters.
Empathy for another and understanding the feelings, dreams, and ideas that make someone else tick is, to me, one of the most critical features of any relationship. It allows you to understand and be understood, give accordingly, and receive. When empathy is gone, and people start worrying about their own needs without concern for the needs of the other, trouble is not far away.
Sometimes you need to be alone to allow yourself to grow into the person you are meant to become. Much like a seed needs to be in the ground alone, you may need the same situation to allow yourself to grow in understanding and ideas. Life is a tricky game, and none of us have all the answers at the outset. That is why it is so damn impressive. You do not have to be lonely to appreciate the company of others, but it certainly does make it a lot easier to remember and keeps your empathy at the surface.
Loss Makes You Appreciate What You Have
If you have never lost everything, you do not appreciate everything you have quite as much. Everything is a subjective word that can apply to anyone and their situation. You may lose your family, friends, possessions, or guiding principles and strand you in life with no clear guidance or a place to call home.
Whatever it is that you lose, a friend, a family member, a relationship, it is through this loss, you will learn to appreciate what you do have. When you evaluate the things you have lost in your life, remember to include equal time thinking about the good that you have in your life and the appreciation you have for it — practice gratitude to some degree every day.
Sometimes the wounds of the loss are too big, and we can never move past them. Sometimes the pain of loss or the idea of the damage has engulfed us and our identity to the point that we can’t see around it. My experience tells me that once I have let something go, there is an appreciation for the people and things that are in my life that I would never have known.
You don’t have to lose everything to find this appreciation, and you have to look at what you have in your life and be grateful for it.
Seeing the Dark Side
To be human is to possess the ability to be very, very good, but each person also comes equipped with a dark side. Much like Darth Vader in Star Wars, we all have to choose which side of life our thoughts, choices, and actions will take us. There is power in being positive, helpful, honest, kind, and a decent human being society would fall without this attitude is prevalent. But there is a dark side in all of us.
One of the things that make good people so beautiful is that we make a choice each day to be that way. Sometimes, it can be a natural choice to follow the voices of fear and separate, ridicule, lie, gossip, or be selfish. Each of our actions balances out in our vibrational energy and just what you are putting into the world mentally, and with your efforts, you will get back to you. If you are not happy with where you are, look at your mental game and see how it is playing out. Take affirmative action, and positive will happen. Follow the light side of the force.
Look at the Flip Side of Everything
So my final urging is to look at the flip side of everything that you experience each and
every day. Noticing that there is something positive for you to appreciate in every situation. Enjoy moments of downtime as well as deserved respites from the whir of activity that often rules your life.
Appreciate the moments of being by yourself as opportunities to grow. Nobody knows who you will end up with, but remember that making yourself the best person you can, will bring the person into your life who will make you better. With the heart-wrenching bitterness that death and loss of a loved one get to your life, there is an appreciation for those you live with still that can envelop your heart and touch your soul if you look for them.
That is why we should always look for and appreciate the flip side of the coin because we would never understand the value of moments in our lives without it. Light without darkness, happiness without sadness, love without fear, the experiences that we live define us by our ability to appreciate our journeys.
“Belief systems thrive in circumstances of the collision. Their opposites energize them.”– James P. Carse
