Tag Archives: Judgment

Following The High Road

What Road Are You Traveling? 

high-roadAll of us are duplicitous by nature. There is the person we allow the world to see, and then there is the one we keep hidden from ourselves. All people live in this duality, and for many, it causes a constant struggle. Two paths are presented to us. One is the high road, and the other is low, based on the moral decisions we make every moment of every day.

The Direction is Clear

Positive moral decisions based on the energy of caring, love, honesty, understanding, etc., are made on the high road. Whereas the negative moral decisions are guided by lying, cheating, intolerance, rigidity, hate, or judgment are found on the low road.

dotherightthingIt has always been peculiar that there is no middle ground. Whether you are traveling the high or the low road, the middle road is like riding on a picket fence; impossible to get there and more challenging to maintain balance.

Sometimes the choices are easy, and doing the right thing is transparent and beneficial to you.  Unfortunately, the low road is far easier and looks like it will be so beneficial that you can’t resist the urge.

“I’ll only do this just this once,” you say, with a froth of good intentions on your mind.  But it’s a funny thing about traveling the low road. Once you get that path, it is harder to get back up than we could have imagined.

The high road may appear complicated, and I wish I could say I always clung Integrity-Is-Doing-The-RIght-Thing-When-No-One-Is-Watching1to it.  I haven’t and have paid the price dearly.  As I get older, though, I strive for the high road more and more in almost everything I do.

I am not perfect, but I strive for it.  You don’t have to be perfect, be honest, treat people well, and not be cruel to others.

Remember, we live an existence of duality, and the struggle is constant between good and evil, right and wrong, the high and the low.   Be vigilant, and you might stick to the high road. No matter what happens, you are guaranteed to have the opportunity to learn something.  Or you can choose to live in ignorance. 

“To every man, there openeth a way, and ways and away. And the high soul climbs the high way, and the low soul gropes the low: And in between, on the misty flats, The rest drift to and fro. But to every man, there openeth a high way and a low, and every man decideth the way his soul shall go.”   ~ John Oxenham

 

 

Leaving Judgement behind

judgementWhy We Judge

It can be easy to look at someone else’s life and quickly dissect all they are doing wrong or at least be doing better. Their lives seem like a simple puzzle; they are too lazy, too rich, too poor, don’t care enough, or care too much. People look so quickly and coldly that they never really see the harm that judgment can do to their lives.

It is negative energy, which will never be a good thing. Acceptance is the key to positive relationships in life. If you are looking for happiness, then judgment needs to be avoided at all costs. Who are we to judge someone else? There is no more precise definition of where you are in your journey than how you judge someone else. Or perhaps how much you misjudged someone else. 

Hiding In Plain Sight

So why do we all have such an inclination to participate in something that is clearly detrimental to our lives in every way? One of the reasons is that when we direct our attention and others’ attention outward toward someone else and their behavior, the poor decisions and mistakes you have made are overlooked. Isn’t there a safe feeling inside when you say, “I may be struggling, but I am not struggling that much?”  So our judgments are constantly distracting attention away from our weaknesses. Does that make your weaknesses any less real?

Putting someone else down with judgments automatically puts you in a position above whomever decisions are being thrown at. It defines you because you focus on distractions rather than working on your problems and becoming a better person yourself. Your concerns are still simmering in the background, waiting to boil over.  It is impossible to be happy when you know an explosion is coming. And there is an explosion of chaos coming your way.  

Defining Ourselves

It will come down to the choices that we make each day when it comes to judgment. You have the option to be more accepting of others and their challenges because, in reality, it is not any of judgment 3456your business.  The choice to look at yourself honestly and work on your decisions, thoughts, feelings, and actions is a daily struggle that you need to start to pay attention to.

We define ourselves for the world in each thought we have and each word we speak. There is an illusion that nobody sees our weaknesses in our minds if we create a big enough cloud of dust by speaking in judgment about others.  Not your circus, not your monkeys. You will decide whether your meanness and judgment define you or kindness, love, and acceptance. It is that simple. When you judge someone else, you are clearly defining yourself, and you are ignoring your areas that are in significant need of improvement.

I used to worry a lot about what other people thought of me. Now I am much more concerned with what I think of others and how I look at their behavior and try not to take their terrible actions personally. It is a reflection on them and has little bearing on me.

When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.~ Wayne Dyer

Are you judging or accepting today?

 “When someone judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their insecurities, limitations, and needs.” Lulu

“Never judge someone by the opinion of others.” Anonymous

“Be curious, not judgemental.” Walt Whitman

 “Everyone has untold stories of pain and sadness that make them love and live a little differently than you do. Stop judging; instead, try to understand.” Anonymous

“I don’t judge others.” Sarah Jessica Parker

 

At The Mercy of Other’s Opinions

The concept of judgment has always been a fascinating one for me. We live at the mercy of others’ opinions or try to force others to live their lives under the negative thoughts we carry about them. Either way, the process is decidedly negative and costly to those judged but, more significantly, to those doing the judging. Judgments limit your thought patterns and your possibilities of what someone else can be and what you can accomplish. If you live under the yoke of someone else’s opinion, you will never allow your true self to rise. It is in that true self that your power lies. To be free to grow as you should, you need to free yourself from the shackles that judgment will place on you and live your life based on the ethics of what is suitable for you and not based on what other people would have you be. Letting go of judgment, incoming and outgoing, allow you to be free to become the best version of yourself possible.

Subconscious Behavior

First, it is essential to understand much of the behavior we see in ourselves and others directly from our subconscious. These are decisions we make based on our experiences in life and the beliefs we have chosen to add credibility to. These thoughts can create judgments of others very easily and quickly. Essentially unconscious behavior is repeated over and over because it is easier than spending time on conscious thought. The thoughts we entertain, consciously or unconsciously, lead to the emotions we feel, the words we speak, and their actions. When running on autopilot, we let our unconscious behavior dictate how we treat others and represent ourselves.

It can be easy to judge someone’s subconscious choices and confuse them with who they are. You can say this because most people with conscious thought added will make less judgemental choices. We occasionally place our subconscious thoughts onto another and mistake that for who they are. Try to notice when someone is operating at this level and bring them back into their consciousness by asking simple questions. It usually works to snap someone out of judgment.

Recognizing The Process

When people act without consciousness, there are chances for misunderstanding and other damaging behavior that can hurt you or others. The words you speak come from reaction rather than thought, and the anger, judgment, and fear

Shining a light on unconscious behavior allows you to recognize and not react to it.

You feel associated with someone else, or their behavior will do damage somewhere and to someone. Be conscious of all things you think and speak about other human beings. Everyone is a few different decisions or circumstances in life to being exactly like you. Try not to judge people too harshly because you are judging yourself.

Recognizing this dark habit will allow you to see this process play out in others. It enables you to know what is happening rather than react to it. Instead of fighting the problem unconscious judgment brings, you will help cure it and improve things. You see the situation clearly, and doing that will allow all people you encounter to live as they are and not under the subconscious judgment of you or someone else.

“Life is beautiful. Suffering is due to the unconscious following.” ― Amit Ray.

“Allowing a negative sentence in your head to end itself forms the very nucleus of negative thoughtforms!” ― Stephen Richards.

“Elite competitors manage their unconscious minds by mastering their conscious thoughts.” ― Stan Beecham

Try A Little Kindness

It is part of life. Most people experience some pain daily because of the selfish, thoughtless behavior of others, and this phenomenon has been

Be aware of your imprint on the world daily. It exists.

occurring throughout time. Just as there have probably been people like me, who have realized the pain that we might have caused others, not only by what we said to or about someone but also by the things we didn’t say or the small acts we didn’t do when they might have made all the difference to someone else’s outlook on life and experience, it amazes me so much anger and unhappiness could be avoided in life if we would take a moment to say the kind word or do the thoughtful act for someone. These are the little pieces of hell we perpetrate on ourselves and others throughout our lives. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We always have a choice. We can always practice kindness

Be Responsible for Someone Else’s Smile

It is estimated that 90-95% of a person’s behavior is completed without the benefit of conscious thought. We react based on patterns and stimuli that have been ingrained in us through experience. So when we are faced with a situation where our kindness needs to be consciously shared,

smile
You can be responsible for someone else’s smile with just a little effort.

We fail to do it because we are reacting rather than caring.

Our daily lives provide opportunities for growth and kindness regularly, and our ability to see this chance and seize upon it can change someone else’s life in a better way and improve your life as well. When choices are made that honor ourselves, the enjoyment derived from our lives increases. The simple things can do the trick to speak kindly, forgive a transgression, allow someone to feel valuable, and celebrate the smallest of accomplishments with enthusiasm. Still, someone else’s happiness and well-being are ahead of your own. It can be as simple as smiling.

You cause a little hell in someone’s life when you deprive them of this experience because you are too busy or wrapped up in your own life or just unaware of how your kindness could make a difference in someone else’s life. What kind of world would it be if being kind and caring to others were the focus of our lives? What kind of difference can you make?

Accepting of Things

Our thoughts are as dangerous for creating small hells as our words or actions. How poor, different, short, tall, beautiful, or ugly someone is

be a good person
To Be A Good Person, or at the least, don’t be a jerk.

It shouldn’t be the first thought that comes to your mind. Your negative ideas about others will lessen the positivity in your life, and each view that demeans another diminishes your reality.

This doesn’t mean that you accept the poor behavior of others. Never tolerate behavior that is against common sense or decency. But don’t follow that act with one conscious choice that is just as harmful to you. Judge the action but send understanding to the people. Even the worst criminal was once an innocent person with hopes and dreams, but their experiences led to poor choices that didn’t honor themselves.

All actions and consequent blanket judgments of others are not honoring thoughts. They bring negativity to your life and diminish the positive capability of making a difference in the world.

Final Thoughts

Consider your actions, thoughts, and words in all situations and evaluate them honestly. Do they bring a benefit to the lives of anyone? Do they honor you? If they don’t, it is best to focus on other things. Every day, we all have this choice in each thought, word, or action to extend a little heaven or a little hell to someone.

We are unique people, and our value to the world is not determined by how much money we make, the size of the house we live in, or the status of our social circle. The value we bring to the world is in the little acts, thoughts, and words we speak each day. Each person, from the richest to the poorest, leaves the proof of a person’s ideas, ideals, and character in their wake. There is either a garden or mangled wreckage left in someone’s path. Which have you left behind you?

“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.”  -Franklin D. Roosevelt.

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can see.” -Mark Twain.

“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson.

“Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.” -George Sand.

“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” -William Arthur Ward.

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” -Albert Schweitzer.

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.” -Princess Diana.

 “Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver.”  -Barbara de Angelis

 

F.E.A.R.

Fear– an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

FearOne of the most challenging things that people face in life is fear. It is a formidable foe because it can rise in any area of your life at any moment.  Any experience in life can cause pain, and we are designed to avoid pain. So a traumatic experience at any age can cause fear to arise in your mind and affect your life. Fear can either be a motivator or a limiter to what you can and will accomplish in life.  Once you have been harmed, most people go to great lengths to avoid a repeat performance.  Raise your consciousness today, noticing the fear in your life. Look at where you are limited and the fear behind it in your thoughts, words, and actions.  By recognizing the fear and understanding its cause, the fear can be overcome and even eliminated. Try to be fearless. (See Video here)

Eliminate Fear

People often believe that the opposite of love is hate, but that isn’t true. Love’s opposite is fear.  All things seem to come down to a choice between love and concern.  To eliminate fear will, therefore, allow you to experience more love in your life.  Love should be your goal in all things. Not just the fearidealized version of attachment but the caring for others in the world, making your experience more positive.

The thoughts of fear are always in contrast to the ideas of love. Like two sides of the coin, they are there waiting for you to make a conscious choice of which one gets your attention.  There is a Cherokee parable about this battle in our hearts. Each of us has two wolves inside of us, fighting for control. One is love, and one is fear. Which one wins is the one you feed.

The thoughts of love are joy, peace, acceptance, hope, kindness, empathy, humility, and truth.

The thoughts of fear are anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, dishonesty, judgment, and ego.

Which one do you choose to feed? It is essential because overcoming fear will allow you to become a better human being. You are making your life and the lives of those around you a better experience only by consciously choosing the positive thoughts, words, and actions of love over those of fear. Be fearless.

Action Kills Fear

If you asked most people what they would like to do, they would tell you, but then follow it up with a list of reasons they can’t possibly do that right now. Lack of funds, time, freedom, acceptance, fearunderstanding are all reasons to keep dreams at a distance. These are all words of fear of talking.  The truth is behind the excuses is a fear of failure. A doubt has arisen in all of us since the beginning of our lives. But one that cane destroyed as quickly as all others.

The remedy to fear is action. Fear will kill your dreams, and work will open the doorway to achievement. Taking a vision from thought to action is scary because of all the things that can go wrong.  It is courage that allows you to move forward, take action, and see what happens.  No matter what happens, there are answers on the other side of action. Those answers will make your goals and dreams a reality or provide you with a roadmap of getting where you want to go.  Be brave and take action toward whatever it is you want to achieve. Be undaunted by potential failure. To do anything else is to cower in the darkness, hoping someone will stumble across your greatness.  Develop your excellence through action and defeat your fears.

Fear the Constant Companion

Fear is a constant companion in life. It is the brain trying to keep you safe.  But it is just a thought, and you have to decide what kind of life you will live. Life comes with no guarantees, and there are going to be situations that hurt you. That is life.  Learning to muster the courage to keep living fearfully, even though pain may happen, is how great experiences are created.  The only person who can be brave for you is you, so developing this talent will allow you to have the potential to accomplish anything.

So be conscious today and every day about the fears that are controlling your life. Where do they come from? What action will overcome it?  Become aware of your thoughts, words, and works around fear, and strive continuously to overcome it.  This conflict between your mind and your concern is the most significant battle we all face in life. Everything you dream about is on the other side of your victory over fear.

Questions about fear

What fears cause anxiety to you?

How do you deal with the emotion of fear?

What fears are most challenging for you to face?

How does fear help you in life?  How does it limit you?

Quotes About Fear

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.~Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. ~Marcus Aurelius

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.~Japanese Proverb

Be Fearless

 

 

Kindness

2664d0e2789d58be9784c145b6b47963It is in our nature to judge others. We do it naturally, judging someone else’s behavior, actions, motives, or past. It is a biological need to do this because it will help protect you from harmful situations and people, and of course, this is important to your survival.

It really jumps out at you when you observe people being judgmental about the behavior of others. It seems that today the judgments of others are high, and the reactions to others are based on blind judgment and hate. It stands out and makes you wonder why it is that way. When you judge someone else in this manner, you define yourself, not them. I think it is important to remember this.

Judgments are Easy

It is easy to look at one action a person takes and judge their entire lives judgment 2because of it. The deed may be terrible and unforgivable, but does that void all the good that they might have done in their life? What were the circumstances that led to this event?  It is effortless to judge the behavior of others in a vacuum devoid of all the facts.  This is being done all the time, and most of these judgments lead to hate. It is important to remember that we are all human beings with an equal disposition for both darkness and light, and it is our experiences, intentions, and choices that move us toward one or the other.

When facts are learned and the whole story is revealed, humanity is often revealed by people that can be understood. Understanding is not acceptance; it knows that faced with different circumstances, you might make such a poor choice yourself and there but for the good fortune of your life, go you.  You can judge all of our lives in a vacuum, and you can be made to look insensitive, cold, and uncaring. It is a matter of perspective.

Acceptance Is The Cure

The opposite of judgment is acceptance. This does not mean that you agree with everything a person does regardless of morality. It means that imagesyou can accept that people make mistakes, do mean things, cheat, lie, or commit any number of sins in their lives.  Acceptance means that we understand that we ourselves have made poor decisions at times, and none of us want to be defined by our worst moments.

Each person has a moment in their life that is unquestionably positive. These actions and events have made the world a better place in even just the smallest of ways. It is up to each of us to show kindness to others as best we can. Show compassion and understanding to people who need it so that they will do the same when they have the opportunity.  You do not have to condone someone’s behavior to show compassion and acceptance of their humanity.

You have to have a little kindness in your heart.

It is with our judgments as with our watches: no two go just alike, yet each believes his own.”   Alexander Pope

Hesitancy in judgment is the only true mark of the thinker.”  Dagobert D. Runes

In our judgment of human transactions, the law of optics is reversed. We see most dimly the objects which are close around us.”  Richard Whately

One cool judgment is worth a thousand hasty councils. The thing is to supply light and not heat.”Woodrow Wilson

Men are often biased in their judgment on account of their sympathy and their interests.”

Worst Question Yet

 Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

by Jonathan Hilton  Day 40

37When I read this question I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. My answer is neither  but not because I have anything against genius or even anything against a simpleton, (whatever that means).

 I assume the question is designed to make you feel like genius comes with worry and if you are a simpler person you will experience joy. I reject the question as biased and borderline offensive.  Here are my thoughts.

Worry is a Choice

First lets look at the word worried. This is always a choice, you don’t have to do this.  This question seems to assume that only intelligent people worry and only people with no 923246_642439195781583_1059462715_nintellect are happy. This if offensive to me as a human being who strives to find a way to be happy, am I merely a simpleton looking for my natural state or am I a genius doomed to failure?

Worry has never made anyone more successful in anything.  No matter how much you work something over in your mind, dread it or want to avoid it, you still can’t stop it from occurring.

Any random, run of the mill genius should realize this, so if you are spending your life as a worried genius then you are, in my opinion only half right.  There are choices every day that people of all intellectual levels have to make which directly reflect on the experience they will have.  Just like kindness is a choice and what thoughts about life you pay attention to are choices as well.  I do not know much but I do know that  an intelligent person would be able to choose a better recourse than to waste their time worrying.

Why Judge?

There is a judgment in this question that should be ignored and pointed out. Who am I to differentiate between a genius and a simpleton. Suppose I am a member of the latter

I like these guys.  Am I a simpleton? Or just a fan of comedic genius?
I like these guys. Am I a simpleton? Or just a fan of comedic genius?

group, I assume I would lack the skills to understand the question.

If I were in the former I suppose I would be too worried to function and display my genius appropriately.  I guess I don’t know why anyone would ask such a question.  These distinctions are all relative anyway to the intellect of others.

 I may be a genius to some and a simpleton to others, that distinction has absolutely nothing to do with what type of person I am, or how much I worry or am happy.  Not one bit.  We spend too much time in life labeling others and placing them in categories to feign some sort of understanding.

 I may be a simpleton which means I would be a little slow on the uptake but I know that we are all connected and the more time we spend dividing us the unhappier we are going to be in the end, no matter if we think mighty thoughts or nothing more significant than the batting average of a baseball player.

I have been fortunate to know many great people in my time, and intellectual ability has never been a factor in how I felt about them.  It was the kindness, the giving,  and the value they provided.  I have enjoyed conversations with people all of my life there is no intellectual entrance level of intellect.

The Worst Question in The World

Just reading this question I think makes the world just a little more of a difficult place.  I

I can't bear to listen.
I can’t bear to listen.

apologize to anyone reading it, because I feel like just considering the labels of genius or simpleton makes us all a bit more narrow-minded.

 I hope to embrace all of my fellow human beings, not just some endowed with high levels of intellectual capacity, but all of them.  The phrase joyful simpleton is along the lines of ignorance is bliss.

 They are designed to demean portions of the population. Who are these simpletons? Where do they live? All of us have parts that are intellectual and others that enjoy the simpler things in life.  There is no reason to intellectually slander anyone for this.

Accept all people regardless of their intellectual capabilities,  if you think yourself a genius then start hanging around with smarter people.

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

We Are All Awesome!