Tag Archives: Honesty Is The Best Policy

Honest Soul

There seem to be many layers of human behavior I can’t seem to grasp, in others and myself.  Why we are not more honest is one of them. I was told once that all people lie at least once every day. I argued against that, but after analyzing my behavior, I can see that there are times we are all less than honest, despite one’s good intentions. They may be white lies not to hurt someone’s feelings, but an untruth is an untruth. So my hope is that after reading this, and thinking about our behavior, one will be conscious of how honest they are in thought, words, and actions every day of life.

White Lies

We must agree on the first honest thing is, “we are all experienced liars.” Everyone has done it for various reasons, but honesty about that is an excellent place to start. White lies are the “harmless” lies we tell others to avoid causing unnecessary pain. These fibs may be a good practice, but I would rather know the truth. When you lie in this fashion, you choose someone else, what they can deal with, and what information they need.

What is the limit when it comes to being dishonest? Where do you draw the line? Become conscious of your thoughts when it comes to honesty. Be aware of the words you choose and take action to be more honest in life. I believe that even moral wrongs are still wrong. Give people in your life the power to decide how to deal with things. That is how they will develop. It isn’t your responsibility to hide the truth in any way.

Deception and Perception

All you need to do is look at social media accounts, and you will see that honesteveryone is very talented at crafting a story of their life. They want others to see. Many of our thoughts, words, and actions are less than honest because we show what we want the world to see. It is natural to want to shine the most favorable light on your life, but it is still not honest. The things we omit are still not accurate. What other people think doesn’t matter. It is all just a thought in your mind of fear.

What kind of world would this be if people were honest all the time? Most people are guarded in this way because we are afraid that we couldn’t be accepted if people knew the truth. In relationships, this is also true. We all “hide our crazy” initially because we fear that nobody could take us if they knew about the flaws. Yet, I argue it is the flaws that create the masterpiece, the uniqueness that is beautiful in its own right. People are afraid to be honest because some may reject them. Be realistic about who you are and what you think in thought, word, and action. Those who run from simple words or actions make your life better by leaving. Let them go.

Value of Truth

If you took all the money in the world away, what value do we each have? The amount of honesty we bring to the world is the highest currency there would be. There is comfort in being honest in life. If you do not accept lies from yourself, it is easy to spot them in others. How correct someone else decides to be is their karma and their problem. You can only worry about yourself and the level of honesty you bring to the world. I think that to be the best version of yourself, being honest about your actions and, more importantly, your feelings are a requirement.

Spend as little time possible worrying about how your thoughts, words, or actions will affect others or their perception of you and be concerned about being honest. In the end, your name is all that you have anyway. Focus on sincerity throughout the day. Make a note of anything less than truthful. Please correct it. See what happens.

The main reasons people don’t always tell the truth are:
  • Fear of harm: The most straightforward reason to understand why we lie is for self-protection, including self-deception, to prevent damage to ourselves. This harm can be either physical or mental.
  • Fear of conflict: To some degree, we all fear to argue.
  • Fear of punishment: When growing up, how often did we lie about how well we did in school or started fighting? How often do we cover up our mistakes and transgressions?
  • Fear of rejection: Sometimes, our insecurities are the foundation of why we lie to each other because we want to remain popular in our relationships. Typically, it is harmless boasting to make ourselves appear more admirable to other people.
  • Fear of loss: This is usually the loss of personal objects, such as money or expensive valuables. Greed is the foundation for this reason and can be found in us. We often lie to make ourselves more desirable to other people too. Most conventional, people lie for fear of alienating their significant other. Other times, when our self-esteem starts to decline, we even lie to ourselves as a means to prevent loss of morale.
  • Altruistic Reasons: We often lie to help our friends and loved ones. How often do we flattery someone to make them feel better? Or don’t tell the whole truth because we are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings? Telling something you don’t think is true to make them feel better is the only selfless reason we lie.

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” -Thomas Jefferson

“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.” – Spencer Johnson

“Honest hearts produce honest actions.”- Brigham Young

 

What I Like About People

What is the most desirable trait another person can possess?

What_I_Like_About_You_title_cardI think it is impossible to pick one trait another person can possess. So many factors contribute to a personality and allow you to get to know someone in a real and genuine way. So many people I have met don’t show you their true selves anyway because you would stay far away if they did.

 To narrow the multitude of traits to one would be much too difficult to do in the short time I have to write this to give five traits I think are desirable in others.  I could probably come up with twenty without working too hard, but the list of five will have to do. I am sure they are easy to find.

Be  Positive Or Go Home

Many people spend so much time worrying about the things they don’t have that they miss out on all of the great things right in front of them. The great thing 05d3a5f9a3a2203c98679a3a91b88b66is that this behavior is all choice.

 It is raining out.  One person complains incessantly and lets it ruin their day and everyone around them.  The other looks at it as a great opportunity to wear that colorful raincoat and those new rain boots.

 Being positive is a state of mind, and the negative person is always a chore to spend time with.  Being with a positive person makes the time fly by because it is enjoyable no matter what happens.

 Life is only going to give you a finite collection of experiences, and it is your decision if you want not to enjoy them.  I prefer to enjoy each of them to the best of my ability, and positive people make that happen. So you really have to choose your company well. If someone does not see the positive, think about finding someone who will.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

There are few people in the world that you can trust to be honest about important things. That doesn’t mean little white lies should always be frowned on because Honesty 22sometimes people don’t need to know your opinion. However, open and honest communication must build any type of relationship, romantic or friendship.

 The big things have to be dealt with honestly.  From your hopes and dreams to financial matters, honesty is not only the best policy but the only policy I think leads to long-term success in building a relationship that will last longer than a short six months.

Just because you haven’t been “caught” in a lie, once you lie, the relationship changes; usually, you are lying because you are hiding something. Whatever that is. Something you did or something about yourself: dishonesty is a hurtful, painful thing to impose on someone you theoretically care about.

 Once you start hiding things from someone you love, the list of things you are hiding will continue to grow.  Soon you won’t be able to remember which things you should be hiding.

When the truth comes out, and it will eventually, no explanation can work. So always be honest, stop doing things that you would have to lie about, and be much happier. But, more importantly, so will all the people in your life.

Laughing with Me Not At Me

222333Being able to laugh at life and, more specifically, at my sense of humor is one trait I look for. In addition, I enjoy laughing and sharing a laugh with someone else.

There is no way you can do that with someone sober in thought all the time.  Laughter is the best medicine for almost any problem.

 Some believe that laughter can lower your blood pressure and help you lose weight.  All I know is that laughter makes you happy and makes you feel good. Have you ever been mad when you have laughed uncontrollably? Of course not.  There is nothing to do but appreciate the humor of the situation.

 There are only so many moments in life, and it seems like we shouldn’t waste the funny ones spending time with people who have little to no sense of humor. Or spend too much time worrying about themselves to see the joy in many moments. So I don’t judge them, I prefer to leave them sitting in a quiet, dark house, and I will enjoy the laughter that comes naturally with life.

The Smart Choice

beauty-9Intelligence is another trait that I look for in others.  I do not know where I would rate myself on the scale of intelligence, but I know that I value the brains and want to spend time with these people. The intellect of the company you keep will determine how much you can gain from those interactions. Intelligence is one of the most attractive qualities I have seen in a woman. The ability to think, theorize, teach, and grow is the ultimate in individualism.

 Perhaps I hope it will rub off on me, but I know that intellect and intelligence are desirable.  There is something about a smart woman that makes my knees go weak.  I am not sure if intelligence is that way for everyone, but it is definitely for me.  There is always time for silliness in life, but also there is a time for serious discussion and thought. It is nice to have someone around who can share competently in both.

I could probably list many more traits like kind, caring, loving, punctual, accepting, tough, athletic, talented,  and that is without much thought. The fact of the matter is that there are many great people in the world, and they all have a unique set of traits that make them special, and I appreciate them all. But that still leaves the question for you:

What is the most desirable trait another person can possess?

One other trait must appreciate Dire Straits…