On Halloween 2019 it seems appropriate I look at ways to get rid of the ghosts in my life. The past is a constant companion, it is always there, reminding, motivating or maybe even taunting us. The ghosts of things done, actions taken or not taken lead to the behavior we undertake today. Reflection on these things allows a person to choose between being swallowed by the past, never able to move forward or to release the past and move forward with new experiences.
There is a continual connection between you and your past. Hopefully visiting the ghosts of your past will allow you to put them behind you and move forward into the best version of yourself. Letting go of the past will set you free. These are some trips to the past that have haunted me on my journey and I need to put to rest once and for all.
The Ghosts of the Past
These are the most prevalent visitors from the realm of shadows. Haunted by the thoughts of events, things, people, and relationships that occurred years ago, yet are as dead today as they can be. These apparitions come in the thoughts about what we used to be, how we used to act and where we used to go.
I have been visited by these ghosts more often than I would like to admit. The reminders of youth, love lost, words that should have been said and mistakes made. They can be painful and they can provide you with a wonderful, escape from today to a time in the past when things were less confusing or less trying and we felt closer to the best version of ourselves.
If you keep the ghosts from the past in proper context they aren’t bad for you. There is no problem with remembering times of happiness and learning the valuable lessons that the past teaches you. The trouble comes when you idealize the past and feel that those ghosts are somehow real. They are not, they are gone and they are never coming back as you remember them.
This can be a painful realization for some people because the past has become such a utopia for us but there is a liberation in understanding this as well. The past is gone, so there is room for new adventures that will give us the platform to become the best version of ourselves.
Love is the worst and most powerful of these memories.
As time goes by you tend to idealize those people that you loved in the past. When those that are currently in your life, do something that doesn’t live up to expectations, you remember someone else from the past that would never treat you that way in your mind. The reasons the relationship didn’t work out are pushed aside and replaced with an idealistic memory that no person could ever live up to.
The thing to remember is that all of those ghosts are just thoughts in your mind and have no more power over you than any other ghost. They can’t grab you or make you feel bad about the way things are now unless you allow them to.
Leave the ghosts in the past where they belong. You will never be that young again, you will never have a relationship like that again, you will never be in that situation again. Accept this as a good thing, learn from the ghosts of your past, but do not give them any power over your feelings and thoughts today, because they are not real.
Look honestly at the experiences you have had. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come to the surface. Let them go. That is about all any of us can do. Once you let them go, room is created for new things.
Psychologists: Scrooge’s Transformation Parallels Real Life-Changing Experiences