Tag Archives: Empathy

Beliefs

Emotional Intelligence Development

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Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify, understand, and manage one’s own emotions and the emotions of others. It is a critical skill that can help individuals to navigate social interactions, manage stress, and build positive relationships.

There are several ways to develop emotional intelligence:

  1. Self-awareness: Developing self-awareness is the first step towards improving emotional intelligence. This involves awareness of your emotions, understanding their triggers, and how they affect your behavior.  Knowing how you will react to things and why is a strength that will allow you to be proactive and understanding in your life. Other people will not so easily be able to push your buttons.
  2. Self-regulation: Once you know your emotions, you can learn to regulate them. This means managing your emotional reactions to situations and learning to control impulsive behavior. Rather than reacting to situations, your will be able to respond to people and situations with thought and steadiness of purpose.
  3. Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. This involves paying attention to nonverbal cues, listening actively, and showing genuine concern for others. Through concern and understanding of other people’s emotions, your wisdom will grow, and you will be able to help people manage themselves better.
  4. Social skills: Developing social skills involves communicating effectively, building positive relationships, and constructively resolving conflicts. Through Emotional intelligence, you will be able to communicate in a more meaningful way. This strength will help you grow existing relationships and to establish powerful new ones.
  5. Continuous learning: Emotional intelligence is not a fixed trait but a skill that can be developed over time. This involves being open to feedback, learning from your experiences, and seeking opportunities for growth and development. We all are growing every day, and each interaction and experience is a chance to grow into a better human.

Actively looking for ways to develop your emotional intelligence in your daily life will lead to personal growth.  You need to try to add some strategies to your conscious thought. Some strategies for developing emotional intelligence include:

  • Practicing mindfulness and self-reflection
  • Seeking out feedback from others
  • Engaging in activities that promote empathy, such as volunteering or community service
  • Building positive relationships with others
  • Reading books or attending workshops on emotional intelligence
  • Practicing active listening and practical communication skills.

By developing emotional intelligence, individuals can improve their personal and professional relationships, increase their resilience in the face of stress, and enhance their overall well-being.

22

The Benefits of Your Stillness

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The stillness of life is going to provide all people with significant benefits. No matter where you go to find it, the peace and tranquility of time spent relaxing your body and retreating in your mind from the hustle of everyday life can calm your nerves and revitalize your brain. Seek out the places that are special to your heart and your soul. Quiet contemplation is essential for all people’s development as human beings. Finding a balance between time with others and time for yourself is one of the significant learning challenges of life. Here is a look at the benefits that can come from moments of meditation or simple stillness when we breathe more deeply, see more fully, hear more acutely, and find an understanding of who we are.

Reboot the Brain

One of the most significant benefits of time alone is that it allows you to reboot your brain. Thoughts are coming at you in rapid-fire succession, and being able to step back and look at the ideas you have been entertaining allows you to stop focusing on the ones that are not serving you and your life and focus on the things you want to be a priority. Unwinding and revamping are great uses of time for yourself.

This will also allow your brain to improve its work by increasing your ability to concentrate and focus your thoughts. Hone in on the ideas that resonate with you and move you toward the experiences you want. A higher level of productivity will result from having some alone time. Goals are created, and the path to accomplishing them is formed in these moments spent in quiet contemplation of our lives.

Creates Better Relationships

Having time to yourself makes your relationships better. Without time to create and think about ways to improve your life, stagnation is the only other option. Interacting with others brings new perspectives into your life, and time to yourself helps you evaluate all your views. By knowing yourself better and liking who that person is, you have much more to bring back to a relationship in caring, kindness, experiences, thoughts, and words. All are increased by having time to think by yourself.

Alone time allows you to increase your ability to practice empathy toward other people and their situations in life. In times of deep thought, an understanding can help you know what will make you happy and allow all things in your life to move with more synchronicity. When problems do exist, this is time to work through them from the thoughts you have, the emotions they elicit, and what action to take to alleviate the pain you may be in. Bringing these discoveries back to your relationships creates more honest and powerful connections with others.

Finding Your Balance

This can be a difficult thing to do. Either we spend too much time with others, allowing no time to ourselves, or we are trapped in a seemingly endless cycle of being by ourselves, looking for more connections. There is a healthy balance I think we are all striving for. It all begins, I believe, with accepting who you are and liking that person. Never feel wrong about the things you enjoy doing. If they don’t hurt anyone, do them freely and joyfully. Follow your interests, and you will also meet people with similar interests.

For all things, there is time. A time to be alone and a time to have company and understand what works for you will lead to your happiness. Society would like to tell you what they think, but I urge you not to listen to societal messages. We are all individual programs; what works for someone else and makes them happy will not work for me. Too often, people feel something is wrong with them if they don’t fit into a specific mold. Fit into your mold. Be yourself and find the time to develop your person and the life you want to live. Find the stillness and listen to the voice within you when you are there.

“All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness.”-Eckhart Tolle.

“The stillness in stillness is not the real stillness; only when there is stillness in movement does the universal rhythm manifest.”-Bruce Lee.

“Empty yourself of everything. Let the mind become still.
The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then return to the source. Returning to the source is stillness, which is nature’s way.”-Laozi.

 

22

We Stand The Same

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It is not unusual for someone to create a judgment of someone based on what you see on the outside. It is in our instinct to categorize people and organize them into easy-to-digest pieces where we can make assumptions about their background, financial situation, and motives. Is someone a threat? Are they someone it would be valuable to make an ally? These thoughts rush through your mind, and they are expensive in the short term to attempt to control your life. But life is not controllable, and judging people in this manner causes you to be short-sighted, closed-minded, and, most importantly, judgemental of others.

The problem of judgment is that we tend to accept our initial thoughts about someone as reality when, in fact, they are based only on our views with no factual basis whatsoever. This scenario creates a line of separation between us and others, which can be dangerous. In the least, it can be cruel to someone, and its worst forms can lead to dehumanizing other people, leading to hate, mistrust, prejudice, discrimination, and all sorts of negatives. A more comprehensive view is my challenge to you. Look at all people you meet from this moment forward on the inside. Because on the inside, you will see much more of what you have in common than what separates you. Look on the inside.

Alone Time

We all have a fundamental need to be a part of things and be understood for the person we are, the thoughts we think, and the feelings that result. Some people are more independent than others and enjoy more alone time. I like to have time to myself, but I also need time with other people. To some degree, we are all the same. Through our interactions with others, we find experiences of growth and development. I value the perspective of people who are different from me. Each time you meet a new person and have a conversation, you will grow slightly. And growth is the point of this existence.

Sometimes, it seems easier to put up walls and isolate yourself from others. They can be challenging, and understanding others can take some effort. Once you build walls to keep yourself safe from others, it is difficult for anyone to get in. So you are quite literally sitting by yourself, and that is where loneliness and isolation can influence you. Being lonely is dangerous because it skews your vision of the world and yourself. You feel something is lacking within yourself and your life, which is human interaction. Through this, we know we are not alone in this process, and we can take another perspective on things. Weigh that vision and make the parts of it that resonate with us. There is a feeling we all have inside of belonging and being accepted. It takes others for this to happen. We are all feeling lonely and separated in our lives sometimes. Be kind where you can and help someone else contact a little less alone. It takes very little to let someone know you see them and their humanity. Find a situation where you can do this today.

Our Thoughts

On the inside of every person, I see two rivers continuously running. One is of thought, and the other is our emotions. They are connected and continually flowing throughout our lives. Our mind is a tool that helps us navigate problems and create things, and that river of thought will help you. Even though many of the ideas flowing by us are repeated or unnecessary, the amount of attention we give them provides them with any power. Placing your focus on the wrong thing will affect how relevant it is in your life. As human beings, we all function the same way. Our thoughts are created in our minds and our experience and programming. It is up to us to be open-minded to seek new experiences and people to bring new ideas into our river of thought.

A mind is a great thing to have because appropriately used. It can help you master your life and existence and bring happiness and joy to the lives of others. Your mind can bring suffering and despair to you and all those you encounter during the day. The direction of your influence comes from conscious decisions we make about the thoughts we pay attention to in life. We all have the same choices here. Focus on the ideas of love or focus on the ideas of fear. This choice dictates everything we experience in personal relationships, friendships, and every aspect of life. Do you dare to reach out? Or do you pull back in fear of rejection or looking foolish? We are all the same inside, and there is a river of thought flowing through all people. Some have a deeper stream than others, and all we can do is test the waters and see if we can positively expand our minds or not.

Emotions

The other river is one of the emotions tied directly to our thoughts. They go hand in hand. The views we choose to focus on will dictate the feelings we experience. It seems to be a cause-and-effect relationship we have been experiencing since birth and will until we leave this life. The difference is that you can become more conscious about this relationship and change the thoughts we choose to focus on and their corresponding emotions.

It is essential to know this because you are not unique in your emotional functions. All people are working on the inside in the same way. The differences come from our programming and experiences. One experience can change our lives for the better or present an emotional challenge. How we choose to deal with them will dictate our happiness at the moment and our effectiveness in life.

It is essential to realize how understanding our emotions and thoughts can lead to a more productive life. We have made connections through our experiences and joy, sadness, anger, frustration, longing, love, or any other emotion. Our thoughts can take a situation that is just a little bit similar to something from our past and interject positivity or despair into it based on programming. Understanding this emotional connection, we can evaluate what we are feeling and why. Are you angry at what just happened, or is it connected to something from your past? The difference is immense. Why get all upset and angry over something which occurred 20 years ago? That event is long gone and can’t be changed. It is up to you if you let the experience control your life today. When you look at someone else and their emotions, understand they are just like you on the inside and have some compassion and empathy.

Compassion and Empathy

Since we are all the same on the inside, we all have thoughts and emotions running nonstop for all of our lives. Take a little time, and work it into your life. Look at other people through the lens of connectivity rather than the view of separation. Allowing yourself to step inside of the shoes of another and see their thoughts and feel their emotions can give you an insight into life. The value of this is to adopt a philosophy of compassion for the struggles and difficulties faced by other people and make your little corner of the world a little bit brighter. Show some kindness even when you don’t have to. Compassion is the international language of caring, and it is never a lousy time for it. Judge others less and accept their differences more because, on the inside, they are just like you. A human being deals with their two continuous rivers of thought and emotion.

Empathy is the ability to understand the situation another is experiencing, and I think to be accepting of their circumstances. All people are capable of great kindness and caring but can also be just as mean and uncaring. We can make the conscious choice of being empathetic or judgmental, and that decision will dictate our effect on the world and what kind of person we will be. Consciously practicing empathy allows you to put a small positive influence on the planet and those you encounter each time. There is no telling where this little positive flow you create will affect the world.

Each of us is in this experience of life and looking for meaning. Sometimes it is easy and others more complex. There are nonstop moments, and each has value. What precisely that value is will be determined by our ability to look at others and see that everyone is the same basic stuff inside. Experiences and programming have led to how a person thinks and feels about things. In all things, we have much more in common than the differences we could ever carry. Take time today to look at all people with empathy and compassion. Practice kindness and understanding, and see how your rivers of thought and emotion are affected.

“Whatever is my right as a man is also the right of another.” – Thomas Paine

“I believe in equality for everyone.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“When I look at a person, I see a person – not a rank, not a class, not a title.” – Criss Jami

“Don’t let your luggage define your travels, and each life unravels differently.” – Shane Koyczan

“You can’t make a difference unless you are different.” – Chris Hodges

 

 

 

22

Spiritual But Not Religious

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People define themselves in many different ways, spiritual but not religious is a way I have thought of my relationship with God for about half my life. Nobody has ever asked me what the definition of this statement means to me until today, and it was astonishing to me I had never really written it down. I am stating my views in this way to define spirituality and why it has little to do with religion for me. The tableau of results depicts my path, and like most trials in life, I am on it due to my choices.

Being Conscious of Choices

The first thing I will explain about myself is that I have become more conscious of my choices in life over the years and the subsequent repercussions each decision will bring to your life. We are all programmed from the time we are born to the actions and beliefs which will help us become accepted in our culture and to belong. If you are not aware of your choices, then this programming will make the choices for you.

I was raised by my parents and family religiously, and I went to church every Sunday for my entire childhood. I believed what people told me wholly and blindly. As I grew in life, I noticed inconsistencies between what they told me and the life I experienced. When I started to question these things, the answers I found moved me away from my upbringing. But not away from God. We are all gifted with the ability to ask and choose for ourselves, and I think that is a skill that makes us uniquely human.

Nobody Excluded

One of the teachings I found most incorrect was that if someone didn’t believe as you did, they were wrong and probably going to be denied a trip to heaven in the afterlife and sent to an eternity of punishment in hell. As a child with a pure heart, I never understood how a God, who is love, would ever make anything like that happen. The conclusion I came to was that they wouldn’t.

I have found there is the ability to be a great person and the ability to be the opposite of that inside each of us. You have to fight to be the best person you can be because it is far too easy to drift into the negative. Since we all have goodness inside them, all people deserve redemption. I think a person’s actions demonstrate how they are living life right now. Most people are doing the best they can at this moment, and they deserve our encouragement, not our condemnation.

I Am Responsible

So to be spiritual means to me that I am responsible for my choices and the reactions I have in life. If I fight to continually act in kindness, understanding, empathy, sympathy, joy, and love in dealing with all people, then I feel I am on the right path in life, doing what I can to make things better.

On the other hand, should I choose not to live that way and give in to the easy decisions of being hateful of others who think differently from me, judging others, indifferent to the difficulties of others, acting from a place of fear, then the harm I cause is my responsibility in life. I have found that which choice I make leads directly to my experiences in life.

In Conclusion

To sum it up, I believe being spiritual is my relationship with God and what that means. Seeing that all people are connected, even those we may not like. Through our common humanity, we are here in this life together. To judge someone negatively because of their religion, nationality, ethnic heritage, skin color, or other factors is not Godly.

On the sunny side of Sunday, I have met many people who preach love, but in the shade of the rest of the week speak hate about those who are different from them. To be exclusionary, judgmental, and hateful are not positive traits of any Godly organization or people I want to be associated with within my life.

We all can choose which road we take. Acceptance or judgment? Kindness or meanness? Giving or taking? Love or fear? You will decide for yourself as I have and continue doing for yourself. That is what defines spirituality to me.

“Spirituality is not running away from the battlefield of life. Spirituality is blossoming every dimension of life with love, responsibility, equanimity, creativity and compassion.” – Amit Ray

 

 

21

Both Sides Now

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the flip side of lifeWouldn’t it be nice if all we had to deal with in our lives was a success in all we do and happiness in all experiences? I think everyone would feel the same way, no sadness, loss, or grief, just happy things that are easy to deal with, yet we all know that life isn’t going to come as quickly as that. We all must go through some difficult times, and I think that is OK because you will never appreciate the good in life unless there is the opposite aspect to compare it to in life. There is always a flip side. How do you know that life is giving you what you need now? You are experiencing it. Please take a moment and focus your conscious thought on this very thought of how opposites teach you lessons and see what words and actions arise from it. It will probably be a better version of yourself, and you will value the joyous times and good experiences all the more when they happen.

Sunshine and Rain

No matter what your preferred weather is, there is difficulty enjoying it thoroughly without having experienced the opposite of your desired temperature. For me, it is the weather of the fall in the northeast.

sunshine without rainWe are blessed with pleasant temperatures and cooler weather at night, which is perfect for sleeping. Each day it seems that there is a different and wondrous color scheme on display. Fall has a feeling in your heart that you can’t explain, feel. Yet the appreciation I have for this season is deepened by the hot, uncomfortable summer weather and the oncoming extreme cold and snow of winter. Those intense experiences help you tune into the perfection of September/October that you are experiencing in the perfect dance of autumn.

If the weather were as you like, all of the time, you would eventually find that you lose the special appreciation you have for it. It would be more difficult at any rate to find that appreciation for the beautiful autumn days, and they would be “days.”

I think this is true about all things in life. We need to have what we don’t want to know what we do want and, more importantly, appreciate it when it is in our lives and seek it out daily if you can.

Being Alone Leads To Growth

Most people long for comfort and company, yet many have this in their lives and manage to throw it away because of a bit of moment or slight that they perceive. If you

have ever been without someone who “gets you” and is forced to live your life truly on lonely makes you appreciate relationshipsyour own, then it is difficult to appreciate it when you have that connection partner in your life.

You would be much less likely to throw that relationship away if you knew what real loneliness felt like inside. The warmth of happiness and connection should stop people from cheating and taking their partners for granted.   The opposite side of this coin would help many a relationship find its way through rough waters.

Empathy for another and understanding the feelings, dreams, and ideas that make someone else tick is, to me, one of the most critical features of any relationship. It allows you to understand and be understood, give accordingly, and receive. When empathy is gone, and people start worrying about their own needs without concern for the needs of the other, trouble is not far away.

Sometimes you need to be alone to allow yourself to grow into the person you are meant to become. Much like a seed needs to be in the ground alone, you may need the same situation to allow yourself to grow in understanding and ideas. Life is a tricky game, and none of us have all the answers at the outset. That is why it is so damn impressive. You do not have to be lonely to appreciate the company of others, but it certainly does make it a lot easier to remember and keeps your empathy at the surface.

Loss Makes You Appreciate What You Have

If you have never lost everything, you do not appreciate everything you have quite as much. Everything is a subjective word that can apply to anyone and their situation. You may lose your family, friends, possessions, or guiding principles and strand you in life with no clear guidance or a place to call home.

Whatever it is that you lose, a friend, a family member, a relationship, it is through this loss, you will learn to appreciate what you do have. When you evaluate the things you have lost in your life, remember to include equal time thinking about the good that you have in your life and the appreciation you have for it — practice gratitude to some degree every day.

Sometimes the wounds of the loss are too big, and we can never move past them. Sometimes the pain of loss or the idea of the damage has engulfed us and our identity to the point that we can’t see around it. My experience tells me that once I have let something go, there is an appreciation for the people and things that are in my life that I would never have known.

You don’t have to lose everything to find this appreciation, and you have to look at what you have in your life and be grateful for it.

Seeing the Dark Side

To be human is to possess the ability to be very, very good, but each person also comes equipped with a dark side. Much like Darth Vader in Star Wars, we all have to choose which side of life our thoughts, choices, and actions will take us. There is power in being positive, helpful, honest, kind, and a decent human being society would fall without this attitude is prevalent. But there is a dark side in all of us.

One of the things that make good people so beautiful is that we make a choice each day to be that way. Sometimes, it can be a natural choice to follow the voices of fear and separate, ridicule, lie, gossip, or be selfish. Each of our actions balances out in our vibrational energy and just what you are putting into the world mentally, and with your efforts, you will get back to you. If you are not happy with where you are, look at your mental game and see how it is playing out. Take affirmative action, and positive will happen. Follow the light side of the force.

Look at the Flip Side of Everything

So my final urging is to look at the flip side of everything that you experience each and

Superman is not as great without a villain to compare him to.
Superman is not as great without a Lex Luther to battle against.

every day. Noticing that there is something positive for you to appreciate in every situation. Enjoy moments of downtime as well as deserved respites from the whir of activity that often rules your life.

Appreciate the moments of being by yourself as opportunities to grow. Nobody knows who you will end up with, but remember that making yourself the best person you can, will bring the person into your life who will make you better. With the heart-wrenching bitterness that death and loss of a loved one get to your life, there is an appreciation for those you live with still that can envelop your heart and touch your soul if you look for them.

That is why we should always look for and appreciate the flip side of the coin because we would never understand the value of moments in our lives without it. Light without darkness, happiness without sadness, love without fear, the experiences that we live define us by our ability to appreciate our journeys. 

“Belief systems thrive in circumstances of the collision. Their opposites energize them.”– James P. Carse

“All colors are the friends of their neighbors and the lovers of their opposites.” – Marc Chagall

 

 

21

F.E.A.R.

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Fear– an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

FearOne of the most challenging things that people face in life is fear. It is a formidable foe because it can rise in any area of your life at any moment.  Any experience in life can cause pain, and we are designed to avoid pain. So a traumatic experience at any age can cause fear to arise in your mind and affect your life. Fear can either be a motivator or a limiter to what you can and will accomplish in life.  Once you have been harmed, most people go to great lengths to avoid a repeat performance.  Raise your consciousness today, noticing the fear in your life. Look at where you are limited and the fear behind it in your thoughts, words, and actions.  By recognizing the fear and understanding its cause, the fear can be overcome and even eliminated. Try to be fearless. (See Video here)

Eliminate Fear

People often believe that the opposite of love is hate, but that isn’t true. Love’s opposite is fear.  All things seem to come down to a choice between love and concern.  To eliminate fear will, therefore, allow you to experience more love in your life.  Love should be your goal in all things. Not just the fearidealized version of attachment but the caring for others in the world, making your experience more positive.

The thoughts of fear are always in contrast to the ideas of love. Like two sides of the coin, they are there waiting for you to make a conscious choice of which one gets your attention.  There is a Cherokee parable about this battle in our hearts. Each of us has two wolves inside of us, fighting for control. One is love, and one is fear. Which one wins is the one you feed.

The thoughts of love are joy, peace, acceptance, hope, kindness, empathy, humility, and truth.

The thoughts of fear are anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, dishonesty, judgment, and ego.

Which one do you choose to feed? It is essential because overcoming fear will allow you to become a better human being. You are making your life and the lives of those around you a better experience only by consciously choosing the positive thoughts, words, and actions of love over those of fear. Be fearless.

Action Kills Fear

If you asked most people what they would like to do, they would tell you, but then follow it up with a list of reasons they can’t possibly do that right now. Lack of funds, time, freedom, acceptance, fearunderstanding are all reasons to keep dreams at a distance. These are all words of fear of talking.  The truth is behind the excuses is a fear of failure. A doubt has arisen in all of us since the beginning of our lives. But one that cane destroyed as quickly as all others.

The remedy to fear is action. Fear will kill your dreams, and work will open the doorway to achievement. Taking a vision from thought to action is scary because of all the things that can go wrong.  It is courage that allows you to move forward, take action, and see what happens.  No matter what happens, there are answers on the other side of action. Those answers will make your goals and dreams a reality or provide you with a roadmap of getting where you want to go.  Be brave and take action toward whatever it is you want to achieve. Be undaunted by potential failure. To do anything else is to cower in the darkness, hoping someone will stumble across your greatness.  Develop your excellence through action and defeat your fears.

Fear the Constant Companion

Fear is a constant companion in life. It is the brain trying to keep you safe.  But it is just a thought, and you have to decide what kind of life you will live. Life comes with no guarantees, and there are going to be situations that hurt you. That is life.  Learning to muster the courage to keep living fearfully, even though pain may happen, is how great experiences are created.  The only person who can be brave for you is you, so developing this talent will allow you to have the potential to accomplish anything.

So be conscious today and every day about the fears that are controlling your life. Where do they come from? What action will overcome it?  Become aware of your thoughts, words, and works around fear, and strive continuously to overcome it.  This conflict between your mind and your concern is the most significant battle we all face in life. Everything you dream about is on the other side of your victory over fear.

Questions about fear

What fears cause anxiety to you?

How do you deal with the emotion of fear?

What fears are most challenging for you to face?

How does fear help you in life?  How does it limit you?

Quotes About Fear

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.~Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. ~Marcus Aurelius

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.~Japanese Proverb

Be Fearless

 

 

21

Fight the Dark Side

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Focus On the Force

Each of us has a power that we either use to help move us toward our goals or provide an excuse for not achieving what we want.  I think it is much more similar to life in the Star Wars franchise than we would probably admit. All people contain within themselves a duality. These two sides have a high potential to do things perceived as an excellent good or something representing evil.

All people contain this power within them, and that is the force of life.  It is not by magic that people end up living an authentic life. It is by conscious decision.  The choices we make in every moment dictate the nature of the force within us.  These choices are a refreshing combination of how we think about ourselves, the world, and everything in it.  Focus honestly on how you feel about things and your conscious thoughts today.  Notice the emotions that arise in you because of an idea. Then see the words and actions that come from that.  This process determines the power and nature of the force in you.  It all starts with thoughts.

Operating on the Light Side

We would all like to think of ourselves as being the hero and doing what is right always. That is not a human experience. It is a constant struggle between our two sides. Here is the simple formula for working with the forces of light.  Put others before yourself, be kind in thought and deed, accept the differences of others, feel joy, peace, serenity, love, hope, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.  All of these exist within us, and it is our choice to practice them or not.

What a world we would have if all people were able to function in this part of themselves.  If you look at how you like to be treated, all of these things are probably on the list. Choosing these things and meaning allows the force within you to help others. It isn’t always easy to think this way when you see someone doing something say to someone else or you. It is human nature to want to fight back and take an eye for an eye. When we are hurt, we want to cut back. To put that instinct aside and treat a situation with love will allow the force in you to do great good in the world.

Welcome to The Dark Side

Welcome to the dark side, which needs no introduction, I am sure because we all have one of these.  Our darkness exists by our insecurities, pains, and fears of our lives.  Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, superiority, and ego contribute to our dark side. These are thoughts that lead to words and actions that will directly or indirectly harm others somehow.  But the person who is hurt the most is you. The dark side of the force does contain the power, but it is corrupting, painful and takes away the good in the world for selfish gain.

Many people I have known can harm someone by directly consciously speaking words that exploit the insecurity of someone.  Then fear is generated, or selfishness, and that person has been infected.  Look at the people in your life and how they speak to you and others. Where on the scale of the force does their intention come from in each moment?  The allure of the dark side is that you will not have to suffer again. But the truth is, of course, your actions are causing you to experience. These thoughts and emotions wear you down and hurt you. To feel these things is the dark side.

Your Force is Always there.

Inside of each of us, this force I am trying to define is always available to you.  It is there to call on when you need strength to face a challenge.  Even in the most desperate times in life, remember the force in you will be there to push back the adversity and allow you to thrive if you let it.  You may have to make a course adjustment, learn a new skill, create a new goal, or start over.  Whatever the task ahead of you, the power to move toward it every day is the force inside you.

Be conscious of how you can help yourself and help others see the good in the world through you.  Take advantage of opportunities to show this. Consciously practice kindness even when there is no apparent gain for you.  Create hope for someone in the world.  Don’t let mindless anger brought on by fear control you. It solves nothing but creates pain in the world. Pain and suffering are the calling cards of the dark side of the force within you.

Where does your force lie?

Every day, you have a choice to cause pain and suffering to others or create joy and kindness.  These choices develop in the thoughts you choose to entertain.  Are they from the dark side, or are they from the light?  The force in you will always be there working on the side that you choose.  So choose your thoughts wisely.  The world depends on it.  And it all starts with your thoughts, the corresponding emotions they lead to, the tenor of the words you speak, and the actions you take.  All things will affect the force in you and the effect that energy has on the world.  Which side of the line do you fall on here?

“We must wake.” -Yoda

“Always pass on what you have learned.”- Yoda

“The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.”- Yoda