Tag Archives: be kind to yourself

Building Some Greatness

All people have greatness within them. Don’t believe me? Then I challenge you to do the following five things and see what you can learn about yourself.

With the powerful messages from the media, we get inundated with each day of perfect-looking people always happy. It sends the Message that you won’t be satisfied unless you look like them.

This Message is ridiculous because every person has weaknesses, shortcomings, unique likes, and thoughts, and the ideal of perfection is unattainable. The media tells you what you should think is attractive and what beauty you should aspire to reach, and no person on the face of the Earth can live up to that expectation of perfection.

When you look at yourself with complete objectivity and recognize that you have unique physical characteristics, thoughts, and talents that make you unique, how could you possibly exist any better than that? You are you, and beauty in being imperfect should be celebrated and not chastised or ignored because it is not what the media perceives to be perfect. The truth is that there is no such thing as usual. It is time to recognize your greatness!

Don’t Judge Others

This means YOU!

Every person evaluates and judges things every day. That is how we keep ourselves safe and moving in directions that we feel are good for us. Judgments are a  part of being a human being, and the skill is to help you determine safe situations from harmful ones. However, when your judgments start to label people’s values, they tend to force you into isolation and make your life experience less fulfilling. This negativity is because if you begin to judge someone else’s behavior or beliefs. We tend to look at the world through a tainted lens through which we evaluate others. Unfortunately, we tend to see a part of ourselves that we don’t like and are unwilling to come to terms with. For example, if you judge poor people as bad, perhaps it is not the people who are “bad,” “lazy,” or “freeloaders.” Maybe your fear of poverty creates these judgments and forces them to be expressed through your decisions.

When you look at someone who dresses differently than you, it is easy to criticize them as strange, but really inside of yourself, you may feel exactly like they look and don’t dare to do anything about it. We all fear that people will “find out “what we are like and therefore reveal ourselves as the “strange” dudes and dudettes we are.

The secret is that everyone is strange. This uniqueness results from the fact that we are all individuals with unique experiences that are ours alone. That is why we all have unique ideas, thoughts, and feelings about everything. When you start accepting others who have different views and lifestyles from you, that is a significant step towards making yourself and all that you think and feel. People are strange, unique, and unusual, and so are you. Accept it and enjoy life. When you judge someone else, you are judging yourself and your fears.

Look for the Gold

look for beauty
This Starts Inside of You

In these differences we all possess,  you may focus on how strange someone else seems to you. They may have different religious views, cultural influences, or lifestyles, and it is up to you to learn what you can from them and find the attractiveness of their situation. That doesn’t mean that you have to accept their beliefs as accurate; it merely means that you understand why the thoughts and behaviors are what they are. Who is to say what is right?

Too often, I have kept people who are different at arm’s length or dismissed their thoughts without consideration because it is much less scary to reject something than to investigate it and consider its validity. There might be some nuggets of information that you can use in your life.

Like digging for gold, there might be thoughts a person different than you can teach you. Your mind may expand and learn to accept the good in others more readily. There is a chance for good in all people. It lives pretty deep in some, but the capacity for good is hiding like the future.

Be Kind To Yourself

Of all the judgments we make, the harshest are saved for ourselves. Why is it that people are so hard on themselves? How many people go through a day, a week, or a month without thinking about how great they are?

The answer is many, many people. A critical voice in our heads works to help us survive, and if you listen to those thoughts exclusively, you will never be satisfied or happy with who you are. (Ego)  How often do you look at yourself in the mirror and see a unique talent that is you? Or do you only know the weakness, the age, your physical self’s imperfect physical self? e many years when these thoughts never even entered my mind. I never saw my strengths, weaknesses, or talents as a part of me. I only saw them as I thought others observed them, good or bad.

I have unique talents, as you have particular expertise o see this because then what do you do? You will have to develop it somehow, and being kind to yourself is a great place to start. If you don’t treat yours lf with some understanding and love for the things you bring to the table of life, who will?

Be Better Than You Were Yesterday

Don’t waste time comparing yourself to others in behavior, actions, talents, or weaknesses.  Comparison is a slippery slope that will only detract from your abilities and stop you from reaching your potential.

You can always find someone who can write better, think sharper, jump higher, run faster, is more robust, or whatever than yourself. That is not the point of having talent.  It would help if you ap excited about what you could do.  Your talent is yours and is meant to be precisely what it is, and your only responsibility is to use it.  Comparing what you do t someone else will only lead to you judging your talent, better or worse.   Look at others and appreciate their skills, but don’t compare them to your own; it wastes time.

You can evaluate something objectively and learn from it without comparing yourself.  There is no reason to d this other than to either make yourself feel bad because you don’t perceive that you measure up or build yourself up by trashing someone else.  Be the best, most origi l you can be; that will have to be enough. Focus on being a better person than you were yesterday.

Embrace Your Uniqueness!!

There is only one you in this world, regardless of what has happened in the past. Or, what anyone else thins s, you should be proud of who you are.  It would help if you were glad that you are you and have all of the tremendous physical and mental talents you possess. Your gifts will offer so ething to the world that can’t come from anywhere else.

You always have the choice to explore these talents or to let them lie dormant and waste away.  That doesn’t mean that you will still be perfect or always make the best choices; it merely means that you will share your talent with your talented you and let the chips fall where they may.

There is beauty in this imperfection that makes you perfect. Being “Normal” is overrated and dull; being you is an exciting adventure that will last you the rest of your life. Be the best you that you can imagine!

“Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in t is the notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.” —Wilma Rudolph.

“People do not decide to become extraordinary, and they decide to accomplish extraordinary things.” —Edmund Hillary.

“Mediocrity will never do. You are capable of some ing better.” —Gordon B. Hinckley.

Looking Inside

There exist many different ideas of who we are inside. Identity seems to change as people move from one social situation to another. But the person we should be looking for inside us is our higher or best self. To achieve our best is the version of you that resonates inside yourself with joy and love. There is no fear in this inner upbeat version of you. This best version has the potential to exist in all of us and can be accessed following some simple steps. A quick change of focus and consciousness will point you in the right direction.

Know Where You Are

The first thing we have to do is acknowledge where we are right now on our journey. Honestly and completely. Are you working a job that fulfills you? Is there room for growth? Are you doing what brings you joy? Are there things in your life you have to change? Or need to change for your health’s sake? Acknowledge it all and bring it into the front of your thoughts and awareness. Too often, let things slide and ignore the habits and situations we put ourselves in daily, which do not resonate with us. See what you want to change, and then be still and envision what the perfect job will look like for you. Knowing where you are will make your destination a lot easier to find.

Be Kind to You

How we treat ourselves and speak to ourselves will determine how easy it is to connect to our best selves. It is easy to say that loving yourself is the first step. You are sending compassion and love to yourself rather than focusing on blame or shame in any situation. Things done in the past are in the past, and you can’t change them. Rather than beat yourself up for it, tell yourself that you did the best you could. Know that you will react more positively when faced with the same circumstance. Love yourself at this moment and let your best self rise to the surface.

Notice Your Thoughts

Not only the thoughts about yourself but your thoughts about everything. See your thought patterns and honestly evaluate the negativity and positivity of each thread of thought that exists. Your thoughts will control your emotions and, ultimately, your behavior, so it is vital to be conscious of the pattern of thinking. Beliefs that have been ingrained in you since you were young influence specific patterns of thought and can be harmful without conscious recognition. See your ideas for what they are when it comes to your perspectives and beliefs, and that will provide an opportunity to transform them into something that will represent the best parts of you.

How to Speak to Yourself

When you talk to yourself in your mind, speak as if you were talking to a best friend or a valued, loved one. The way you talk to and feel about yourself sets the tone for how you view yourself in the world. There were times when I was not so lovely to my reflection in the mirror—cutting down my physical appearance—avoiding the right parts, and focusing on the things about my body that I didn’t like. Now I hope to be a little more compassionate to myself. We should all speak to ourselves with compassion. Your best self will rise from this and become apparent.

Do things that connect with you and make you feel good about your life and who you are. It could be exercise, art, or writing. When you are your best, accept who you are, what you are doing, and where you are going. Your best self will rise and enter your life.

There is only one corner of the universe you can be sure of improving, and that’s your self.– Aldous Huxley

Work on yourself more than you do on your job.– Jim Rohn

The goal is not to be better than the other man but your previous self.  – The Dalai Lama

 

My Enemy

My own worst enemyMy own worst enemy is almost always in my mind, that voice that tells me I can’t, shouldn’t, or couldn’t possibly achieve what I would like to do. This message is an outdated survival mechanism left over from childhood. Where it once served a purpose but now only limits my potential.  As I grow older, the voice of criticism that I hear and entertains works to destroy my confidence, lower my self-esteem, and significantly limit what I can achieve. It is time to Get rid of that voice or, at the least, pay very little attention to what it says. Here are a few of my favorite methods for limiting or eliminating my own worst enemy and learning to listen to positive self-talk.

My Worst Enemy Speaks Harshly

It would be best if you started paying attention to what the voice is saying about you, my own worst enemyyour appearance, and your abilities. Ask a question, and you will hear an answer in your mind: How do I look?

Will I be successful on that project?

How will that date go?

Will I get the job?

Or any of a thousand other questions, then listen to the answer. If it gives you a list of negative attributes that limit you, you have your answer. How do I look? You are too old. You have gray hair. You are too heavy. You have a scar on your forehead that nobody can find attractive. You are ugly. You are not appealing to others.  This coding is a replay of things that I have thought about myself at some point in my life. See all negative and all need to be challenged and changed. My own worst enemy uses them to limit the chances of feeling the pain of rejection and disappointment. But it is essential always to realize that the opposite, more positive thought is still available to your mind. You have to pay attention to it.

Defeating My Own Worst Enemy

The way to change your thoughts is by paying attention to how you value yourself. Recognize that negative self-talk leads to negative emotions. It is challenging to build a positive image if you’re continually telling yourself how positive self-talkawful you are, how untalented you are, or how ugly and worthless you are. Change that around by focusing on your relevant personal characteristics. The great question is to ask yourself, would I speak to a young child this way? If you wouldn’t, then don’t talk to yourself in that negative, degrading tone. Changing is as easy as choosing a different thought. If YOU aren’t going to be optimistic about yourself, who is?

I think it is important to decide what you want in life. If you’re going to feel powerless and feel bad, then continue to listen to your own worst enemy. If you are ready to destroy the enemy within, start creating some positive affirmations that have truth and emotional attachment to them.  I am talented. I am good with money.  I am attractive.  Whatever point you usually destroy yourself on, build yourself up.

My Own Worst Enemy is Defeated

You are in control of the thoughts that you entertain and give the power to guide you. To raise your self-esteem and personal energy, you have to learn to speak to yourself more loving and accepting. Your greatest enemy and greatest ally are simply a  voice in your head, and you dictate the tenor and level of kindness that voice brings to your life. You have the pure power to turn your own worst enemy into your most trusted and valued supporter. It is a simple matter of what thoughts you are going to pay attention to.

 

The Message

 

what messageWho hasn’t wanted to spread a valuable message to a large number of people all at once?  That is the draw of blogging and writing.  It is alluring to share advice because you hope all of your mistakes and bad experiences can help others.  It would be great to have my thoughts and ideas broadly help other people.

I am stating my message. I want to make it one that a reader might remember and might have a positive effect on them.  We can only deliver the news, and it is up to others to decide if they want to hear what we have to say. Here are three big messages from me to you!

1. You Have Greatness In You

post-4502-Motivational-Quotes-The-Greatn-j0b6Every person in the world has the seed of greatness planted inside of them when they are born.  Life spends a lot of time trying to make us forget this greatness, but it exists inside each one of us.

 If you are not feeling great right now, don’t worry because, although this power can lay dormant for years, it is never too late to develop the talent that you have and allow your light to shine on the world.

 There are countless examples of people who lived much of their lives only to find a latent talent in their later years and to not only use it but to excel at it.  All of you have this authentic power inside of you, and the talent only has to be remembered and applied.

 How do you remember?  That is where creativity comes in. Engaging in something creative seems to allow you to creep behind the veil that the years have raised to hide your talent.

 Being creative and allowing yourself to become completely involved in something, like writing, drawing, fence building, architecture, or any creative activity, will allow you to remember your authentic power and talent.  It is there, it always has been and always will be, just waiting for you to remember. You possess greatness, and I can’t wait to see how it manifests itself in the world.

2. Be Kind to Yourself

You need to be your own best friend. Treat yourself the way a loved one deserves to be treated. We spend much too much time being critical about our looks, behaviors, choices, relationships, or any other aspect of life.

Don’t spend your time berating yourself for mistakes you have made or for things you haven’t accomplished yet. The past is the past, and it can’t be changed. Learn from it, but don’t let it beat you up and take away your happiness.

There is no need to spend time worrying that life is passing you by.  Life is never passing you by. Life is just passing.  When you are young, it is often like jumping from stone to stone to cross a river, and you concentrate so much on the path you have to take to get across safely that you can’t kind to yourselfappreciate the road until you are safely on the other side and look back.

 Chastising yourself too harshly for where you are now is being mean to yourself unnecessarily.  You may be setting things in motion with your actions, that ten years from now will allow you to be a millionaire, or famous, or the inventor of a new gadget that we don’t even comprehend yet.

 If you are not happy with your relationships, change them. If you don’t like your job, as soon as you can, change it!  If you want to live somewhere else, move there.  Nothing is stopping you from doing these things but you. We are all full of reasons we can’t, should, could have, but in the end, the only thing stopping you is you.

 Be kind to yourself, you are doing the best that you can, and we all lack the vision to judge our situation correctly accurately.  Time will reveal the wisdom or folly of any decision, and that is the beauty of life.

3. Be Grateful For What You Do Have

It never ceases to amaze me the power that gratitude possesses.  We all want to achieve things and have things in our lives.  Money makes it easy to do anything we want. Yet many of us focus on the money that we don’t have and dream about that, rather than be thankful for the amount we do have that allows us to survive.

230937_368883386533410_1322779775_n There are entire philosophical movements and religions based on this premise.  I can only speak of what I have experienced and to be grateful for what you do have, seems to open the way for more of the same.  It can be health, wealth, or wisdom, whatever you want, be grateful for the amount you have, and more will come.

  Unlike a magic genie, nothing is going to happen instantaneously, you have to do it with sincerity and feel grateful for things.  There is no faking this in your mind or your heart.  It is a feeling and thought that you experience every day.

That is the quick message that I would give, but I could make it a much longer message if I had to.  I would hope the kindness and the heartfelt concern would come through, and hopefully, others will not only read this but listen to the message.

“If you put your fears and doubts behind you, you would surely discover that you too have the seeds of greatness in you.”― Edmond Mbiaka

“You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head, be kind to yourself. ”  

“Be kind to yourself, you are doing the best you can.” 

“Being grateful for what you have will keep you happily busy while waiting for your other heart desires.”

A message to YOU!