Today I fought my greatest enemy. They seemed to be following me throughout my day and gleefully took each opportunity to point out my apparent shortcomings. They railed against me for the decisions made in the past and created an almost maniacal worry about the future. It was a non-stop assault that had its desired effect on me, I felt let down, angry, upset and I wanted to fight back. So I engaged my greatest enemy with the truth which always seems to be the best weapon.
The Past Doesn’t Matter
I calmly explained that the past is basically an illusion that we all choose to remember our own way. All people tend to have selective and prejudice memories about the events of our lives. Sometimes making them bigger and more terrifying than they actually were, in order to justify our behavior today or to use them as motivation. Sometimes we tend to wax nostalgic about the past and make people and moments more significant than they were. This is due to emotional behavior at the time or the need to experience it again today. Both are not entirely true, the past is a game of memory and you remember most of it exactly how you want to.
As I explained this to the enemy, there was an immediate recap of the events he perceived as mistakes in my life, all brought one thought of truth.
“Accurate or not, there is no way a thing can be changed today.” It is all history and it is done and over. The best any of us can do with our past is learn the lessons it teaches, then put it away and move forward with an optimistic outlook on the potential that each new day brings to us.
The Future is Never Known
Then almost immediately defeated in bringing up the past, the enemy moved to worry about the future. Throwing all catastrophic scenarios that may just occur if I didn’t start to take some specific action that the enemy condescendingly called, “Common Sense”. Yet, I was able to fight this battle with the thoughts about the future. Nothing is written in stone. All things are continuously changing and no matter how much detail you plan things with, the results may be totally different from what you ever expected. Worrying about the future is taking away the capability for happiness today. It robs you of the ability to enjoy the moment. My enemy revels in this type of victory, but today was not his day, I was resolute in my convictions. Plan for tomorrow as best you can, and let tomorrow take care of itself because in the end it always will.
The Victory is In Today
So as my enemy, frustrated and angry at not being able to raise my anger, silently questioned himself. I started to think about the only thing left and that is this moment right now. Sitting here, typing this, right here and right now. Not even my greatest enemy can disturb the truth and wonder that this moment contains. As I breathe in and out, and contemplate the moment I realize that the enemy is gone.
For the day, the victory was achieved, but there will be more struggles in the future because the greatest enemy lives, smugly, arrogantly and completely within myself. Waiting to remind me to: Accept the past, don’t worry about the future and to live in the moment. To do anything else seems like a losing battle.