Forgiveness has been a difficult thing for me. Realizing that learning to forgive is one of the most important lessons a person can learn. I am constantly analyzing why I have difficulty letting some things go and moving forward.
For most people who I carried low expectations, forgiveness comes easier. We are all learning the lessons of life. It is when someone who I expect more from fails me, I find it extremely difficult to forgive.
One of the best friends I ever had falls under this category. There are few people who I admired more and thought of him as a brother. We worked closely together and although I hold many different views than him, I always admired his commitment to do what was right. He was a moral rock that I could depend on. When I experienced behavior from him that was inconsistent with this, it was devastating.
You come to depend on certain people to be on your side and to support you, no matter what. It is a cold lesson to find them acting differently from what you have seen over years of experience. In fact, their hypocrisy is one of the most painful hurts there is because it is so unexpected. Like a sucker punch from the Pope. It hurts twice as much and is more difficult to forgive because a deeply personal trust has been violated. Someone that you could always count on, was now gone. If you can no longer trust them, who or what can you trust?
Forgiveness of the ones that you cared about the most is most difficult to grant, but in the end, it is most important. Your heart will never fully heal until you grant this forgiveness, deserved or not because your life needs to move forward and casting off all of the anchors of wrongdoing real and perceived is a must. Forgive and move forward, all people act the way they do because of their own individual needs. Those we care about are special for a reason, and even though it is hard, forgiving them is a vital step in living a happy life.
Time to sail on to the future.