Tell Me Who Do You Love?

Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

who-do-you-love-what-are-you-doing-about-it by Jonathan Hilton

Love is a difficult topic to discuss because there are so many parts inside of us that can be exposed through this discussion, that it is easier to brush it off and make a joke of it, to distract from the fact that love is a huge part of being human and being happy on the face of the earth.

This straight forward question is kind of fascinating because it forces you to declare where the love in your life lies.  I realize that there are many different kinds of love we experience during the course of a life.  Love brings with it a wide variety of experiences from the fantastic to the horrible and it can all come from the same relationships.

I Love Everybody

love everyoneEveryone in existence loves someone. There is no way that you can’t.  It might be unrequited love, or unfortunate love or bad love but we all love someone.

With that premise in mind I answer that I have a feeling of love inside for everybody.  How can that be? Easy, because I believe that we are all connected and although our physical experience is different, there is a similarity that we all share.  Therefore to hate someone else is to hate myself.

There were many times when I looked at people with a much harsher eye. I judged people with a cool and unemotional dislike,  not liking those who were not doing what, in my mind they should have been doing.

It is easy to judge others because it diverts the attention away from yourself.  Most things that you find annoying or as shortcomings in others are the weaknesses you generally recognize in yourself.

I know that every person is living their life the best they can.  I can’t judge their personal decisions because I have not experienced the pain or joy that has influenced them.  All that I can do is to be accepting of people just for what they are because inside of them is a person who is very similar to me.

Even if they are mean, uncaring or cruel to me or others, I do not let their bad behavior and poor choices dictate how I am going to think or feel. I forgive them, that is all there is to do.  I would rather that then carry hate or resentment in my heart.  Hate is a virus and will destroy your soul and make life quite joyless. I have carried that load enough.

But You Gotta Love You

lucy loveOf all the people you spend time with in your life, you have to be the most important.  It is difficult for many people to consider that they love themselves, let alone to tell the world that they do.

For many years I can say that I never forgave myself for the smallest of mistakes.  I didn’t love myself, in fact I didn’t like much of what I felt or thought.  Yet in the end it is true that you can’t give love to someone else unless you first feel it for yourself.

I believe that each of us has a gift inside that makes us special.  When we were young we felt it and had hope for the day it would come to light.  Yet for me as for others, life pushed that gift aside and made us forget what we had.  Replaced by a chorus of  “you should”, “You Could have” , “You must”, “If only you would have.”

None of these regrets push you closer to your true self, in fact they push that truth deeper inside and make it harder to find.

I am not sure if or when I will ever find that light that existed in me, but I remember that it did at one time and I am searching for it feverishly because I know that it is fantastic.  The possessor of such a gift must be worthy of love no matter who it is, and therefore the first love I feel must be for myself.

What Am I doing About It

end loveWell anyone who has been reading my writings or talking to me in person will know that I am trying to live in a way that is representative of the best of me. I know that I have fallen short in many ways in my life and without the help of others I never would have  been able to start this journey. I never would have known what to look for.  So I follow the path that is laid out in front of me. One day at a time and experience what is placed in front of me. I accept others for what they are and try to accept myself the same way.  Love is the most powerful emotion in the world and all good things are an offshoot of this emotion.  I am doing the best I can to follow the feeling of love.

 

Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

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15 thoughts on “Tell Me Who Do You Love?”

    1. Opening your heart to everyone is a hard thing to do. Easier if you are younger I think. I used to hold grudges and all of that, but in the end the only person you are limiting is you. It is a waste of time to feel badly because of the bad actions of someone else. You can’t control them, so I try not to let them change me. I try to keep this in mind. I have weak moments but then come back to this. I have decided on my next step. At least for the summer. Or should I say, the next step revealed itself to me. 🙂

  1. Jonathan, great post. And I actually do believe that you have love in your heart for everybody. Which is an odd statement coming from because that is the polar opposite of my past experience with most people. You have a gift of making people feel cared for and you ROCK as an encourager 🙂 And I completely agree with the quote about every person that we meet having a purpose for our lives! Thanks for the reminder to love myself…ugh…I kinda stink at that…getting better though!

    1. Keep it up Kira! You are clearly pretty awesome yourself and I see how you are taking strides to find real happiness in life and that is what it is all about! Reading your posts it is easy to see how far you have come but what you have to offer the world as an encourager yourself. 🙂 I am grateful for your kind words, I want to help encourage you to find the authentic person inside of you, there is something great there! Forgive yourself. That can be very hard, believe me, but once I started doing that honestly forgiving myself for all of my shortcomings, life has become easier and relationships have become easier. Keep on focusing on the good things you are doing and finding out about yourself! Any encouragement you need just let me know. Life is too short to be spent being anything but happy!

      1. You’ve got that right! And yes, I too believe forgiving ourselves is the most important step in healing. Thank you for your inspirational blogs…keep them coming!

  2. Love is a very strange thing. I think 80 – 90% of parents can say they truly love their children, that for me is one of the most natural loves one can get, but there are so many variations and degrees of love. I love, love. I love the harmony and vibration it caries with it. Love is positive. Cultivating and growing love in oneself is truly a most wonderful thing. In reply to your question though, I love my children and family…and then I love people who don’t love me back.
    Just one question though, Jon, is there something special in the water in Maine that makes special people like you? 🙂

    1. 🙂 I am not special I don’t think. I have come to my thoughts because of my experiences and they were not all very good. But they led me to think a more positive way so in the end I guess they all were good! I agree with you that cultivating and growing your self is a wonderful thing. I think learning on a self discovery level is the most exciting education there is. It really is amazing. This project asks a lot of personal questions that make you think about what you feel and how you live. I like that. 🙂 Thank you Michelle for all of your great comments and thoughts, there must be something fantastic in the water in South Africa as well because you are quite an amazing person yourself. 🙂

    1. Ha,ha!! I would never take it in a creepy way. You are super and you make me smile all the time. I send it right back to you, in even less of a creepy way! 🙂 I appreciate the thoughts but I am not that great a person. I am just a person trying to figure out this crazy game called life, live it and be happy doing it. What you give is what you get I think. I am grateful for your contribution MFE!!

  3. Lotta love for you, Jon. I love how you have love for everyone, especially yourself. I can’t think of a better way to live life. {{{hugs]}} Kozo

  4. Again, another stunning post Jon. You say everything so straight up and honest and very easy to read and understand and that’s what I love most. Everything you said is so true and it’s wonderful to meet another lovely person like you in this world. Thanks for sharing another great post. 🙂 *hugs*

    1. Thank you Sonel, I am loving that you comment on my posts it makes my day! I try to write from the heart and tell it like I feel it. That is all I can do. I am happy that you appreciate it! 🙂

      1. I am very glad to hear that Jon and I truly enjoy your posts. You are a great writer and it’s lovely to read posts like yours. If I could write like that you won’t be able to get me away from the pc. LOL! Keep going. 🙂

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