Although I have trouble sometimes with certain concepts, one thing has become abundantly clear. Being Confident in life is a choice.
Confidence stems from the conscious decision to accept yourself for what you are and to not let your weaknesses rule over your strengths. Can it really be that simple? The answer is apparently a loud and emphatic YES!
Let’s face it, we are all people, and all people are constructed to have a list of strengths and weaknesses that we are born with. Everybody is in the same boat.
But not everybody looks at the boat the same way. There is a clear attitude that those who become successful carry and one that those who fail wear like a badge. It all comes down to choosing how you are going to look at things.
How to Make Sure You Fail
If I want to make sure that I fail and lack confidence, I will focus on my mistakes, weaknesses and short comings. These issues become my focus, rather than looking at them for what they are, learning experiences that allow you to gain valuable information about you, your life and the world around you.
If you waste your time berating yourself for mistakes of the past, you are going to miss the future that is right in front of you. There are more than enough people out there that will gladly point out your short comings if you listen to them.
If you focus on the fact that yes, that was a mistake, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience, but what exciting opportunities does this present for me? Then you are on your way to success. Because it is all just a choice anyway.
Look at it. Yes. So. It happened. That’s life. Get over it.
Things happen to us all. These experiences are woven into the fabric that is who we are.
Some of these experiences have been great, some have been o.k. and some have been downright awful. That is the deal with life, it isn’t always going to be perfect, and you are never really in control of any of it.
You are one hundred percent in control of how you react to everything and how you let it affect your life and how you feel about yourself. Your level of confidence springs from this thought pattern.
When an event occurs you will do well to look at the event and understand it. You lost a job or a relationship ended, why did it end?
What could you do about it? Accept it, because it happened. You can long for the past, or feel sick over the loss, but in the end you are going to end up in the same place, either you are going to choose to accept it and move on with your life, or not accept it and choose never to be happy or successful again.
If you were at an amusement park and you got on a ride, you are stuck on that ride until it is over, you have the choice to enjoy it or not. To choose to not enjoy the ride seems like a waste of time, but many people take this option every day.
The ride will eventually end, you can’t go back to the beginning and experience the same thing exactly. You can try, but every time the ride will seem a little bit different.
Every experience in life is like that. The ride is life and you are on it, whether you enjoy it or not. There will be twists and turns, ups and downs, good and bad, that we will all experience. And at some point that experience is going to end.
Dealing with all of these things in a generally positive way is the first step toward feeling good about yourself and becoming more confident. Don’t let bad experiences define who you are, get over them and see what they have taught you about yourself, others and the world around you.
You Control What You Think
Be confident in yourself and know that you have abilities and talents that make you unique and one of a kind. The world would not be quite what it is if you weren’t in it.
Let’s say that you are in a crowded restaurant, you stand up to go to the restroom and right in front of everyone you knock your plate on the floor, it smashed into a million pieces and makes a mess.
How you think at that moment defines how you feel about yourself. A person who is comfortable with themselves might react with thoughts like this, “Wow, that was clumsy! I just made a mess. I am sure everyone here has made a mess before. I have probably given them a great story to tell. I will help clean this mess up. I don’t know any of these people anyway. ”
Another way to react would be, “God that was such a stupid idiotic thing to do and I am worthless and stupid and ignorant and no good and why am I like this and God I hate being me and when will I ever learn……..etc.” You can see the difference. If you choose the self-loathing path, is it any wonder that you are not happy?
The only person in the world who can control what you really think about in any situation is you. If you choose to delve into unhealthy, self defeating attitudes that is the surest way to be miserable I can think of.
The good news is that choosing healthy self promoting thoughts is just as easy, anyone can do it and it is the pathway to feeling great everyday. The greatest thing is that you have total control of your thoughts, you can’t blame anybody else, you can’t say that you “got a raw deal”, you are the maker of your thoughts and you will have to live with them no matter which type of thought you choose.