Facing Fear

by Jon Hilton

fear 1I am afraid. There I said it, I admit it. Now most of you reading this look at yourself and see how true that statement is for you. Fear is so ingrained in our society that sometimes it is difficult to even recognize it anymore.   If you are like me then it is time for you to get onto common ground with your fear and face up to it. 

What is Fear?

To me, this is the feeling that something or someone is going to cause us harm resulting in pain and/or suffering.  It begins from the time we are small children as adults in our lives try to warn us against the harm the world can cause.  It has its place in the learning curve because otherwise, kids would walk in traffic, set the house on fire and just do all kinds of harmful things.

So what’s the problem, fear becomes more than this. Fear is the root of all evil. All of the negative emotions of the world stem off from fear. Hate, anger, jealousy, judgment all come from fear based beliefs and all cause irreparable pain.

Can Fear be Good?

fear lightSome people believe that fear supplied in a small dose can be used as a motivating factor for some people. I believe that is initially true, however it is not a successful nor long-term solution. What are you trying to motivate yourself to do?  Fear may get you there once, but what then? Is it going to take something even more scary to get you to reach further?

The best motivator is creation.  A person working from fear will work hard as long as the threat is behind them, when it is removed they will let up.  The person who is working for the motivation of creation is going to keep working until the creation is made regardless of what other factors surround them.  Fear will keep you from walking out into traffic, but common sense does that as well.

Fear Control

patriot actIt has become common place for leaders to use fear as a mechanism for control.  Leaders learned long ago that having a common enemy would hide many of their own faults and even help push their agendas.  After 9-11, there was an intense fear of terrorists, which justified many bad things.  Constitutional rights were wiped away by the Patriot Act, there only had to be the suspicion of wrong doing and all that our constitution stood for was wiped away. Why? Because of fear?

Media Fear Is Worst

The biggest proponent of fear is the mainstream media. They have learned that if they talk incessantly about things that might hurt you, then ratings go up. It is sickening.  About a year ago, I implemented my own boycott on all mainstream media news.  I haven’t missed a news story, and I am less afraid that the person in the car next to me is going to take meth, jump out the window, smash my windows in with a baseball bat and try to kill me. media fearSo I think it worked out ok.

Sadly Fear Sells

In all seriousness, fear is used to sell everything from acne treatments to life insurance.  I refuse to buy anything that is marketed through fear. I refuse to be afraid of stuff that doesn’t make sense.  Otherwise, we end up locked in our homes afraid of every sound.  Can something happen? Of course it can, that is life.  Being afraid only makes you miserable.  Buy what you need, not what you are afraid you might need.

Fearfully The End

urlIn closing I will say this, in the beginning I stated that I am afraid and I do have a bit of fear, and this is the most significant one to get rid of, that is a fear about yourself.  We all have a fear of failure to some degree that we have to overcome.  I have this in spades.

Why? because I am afraid that if I try something I might fail.  The purpose of writing this post is to put my fear in public.  It is my sincere hope that this act will allow me the courage to follow through with my plans.  I am going to write them out. I am going to work on them every day, unafraid of what will come. Because it was pointed out to me that to do anything else was practicing limiting thinking.

We are a result of the thoughts that we entertain and they will each have the power that you allow them to have. So from now on this is a no fear zone.  Or at least that is my hope.

What are you Afraid of? 

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34 thoughts on “Facing Fear”

  1. Very good post! There’s too much fear being used to influence us and I am sick and tired of it. I don’t watch the news, either. To me it has become synonymous with “how people screw up their own lives and the lives of others.” It’s too much. That’s why I come on to WordPress – to hear about happier things :)

    1. Oh I agree, WordPress if the most positive environment I have come across, I have met such wonderful people with so much talent here. It is a supportive community and I just love the creativity and different ideas that so many people have!! thank you so much for commenting and reading, it really makes my day. You have commented on both of my blogs, so you should get a prize! My undying appreciation! :-)

      1. :) I saw a comment you posted to Melanie with the donkey blog when she wrote that someone looking at her home wouldn’t know she was a mom. It was beautiful. Please know that people appreciate seeing the compassion you show!

  2. I will join you. I am afraid too. And it’s something that I am really trying to work my way through. My fears are of supporting my son and I in the coming years. How we are going to afford to live, pay rent etc. With his autism the hours I can work are limited, so it’s a challenging situation.

    I look forward to reading more and gaining inspiration and insight from you.

    Meg

    1. Hey Meg, I am touched that you shared your fear. That is a big step. I wish I had the details for you, but I do know that you will find a way. As you know there are no guarantees for the future, all we have really is today. Get through that and take a step toward where you want to be, that is all you can do. Enjoy what you do have today! It is a challenging situation you are in. A lesser person might be stuck hiding under the couch never daring to go outside. You are not afraid, you face it bravely every day! You will do it Meg! Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it, if you get any inspiration from my writing then I am a success.

  3. You can do it Jon! *cheering you on* Put those fears behind you and conquer them!
    Its true though, I think everyone has a different degree of fear of failure…hey, I can tell you I got hit a huge dose of that in the last few years, but slowly, we gotta dig out of the ditch and move on. It still hits me now but in mild doses. Maybe that is my greatest fear and never even thought about it…but I think or I still believe that fear of loneliness, which I used to possess (or might still do) is the most poisonous…of course I’m afraid of the normal things, like spiders or extreme heights..
    Great post as always :)

    1. Awww Thank you Kim, I always feel so blessed when I see your comments. I know the fear is there, and my hope in this post was to address the honest fact that I do experience some fear, and to take actions to address it. I agree I think we all have that fear of failure in the back of our mind. I have dug out of many ditches in my life. I think a fear of loneliness is a natural fear for many people to face. I am going to die old and alone, that kind of stuff. That is not one of mine but I can relate to it. Remember this. Fear is just a thought and it doesn’t really exist unless you let it. I know that is some advice coming from a guy who just admitted he has fears of his own. Watch the most motivational video in the world on my Facebook page,and I quote from it, ” Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ” Worth watching for four minutes. Psyches me up every time! Thank you so much for contributing, I always love to hear your thoughts!

    1. Wow, thanks for sharing. I used to have those as well so I can relate there. I said it before in comments, human beings are such whacky creatures. Spend half our lives building up defenses and the rest of your life working through the very minefields we have made. Thank you so much for the comment, I am grateful for the contribution. I hope that your anxiety is better now.

  4. I’m definitely seeing more honesty in your posts. I think you’re doing well to overcome your fears. You’re right though, fear is a common ground for us all. We all have our own fears, but we all fear something.

    I don’t ever read the news anymore unless is on discovery because I’m so tired of bad news and being afraid of what’s out there. Screw the bad news, I’m honing in on the good!

    1. Thank you Hope Rose! I know that if anyone can assess the honesty part it is you. You must be kind of proud to have been a bit responsible for it. I know I am grateful for all of your influences. This project has been a good one, fun and great for creativity. You are awesome Hope, I think you are a tremendous writer and a better person. :-)

  5. Oh I have a hard time with fear. It rules to much of my life. I’ve been working on it and hope to find a good balance soon. Mine may be off set by some self loathing but working on that to LOL! GREAT POST!

    1. We all have those feelings. I think that is where my fear comes from. Human beings are a complex, crazy group of creatures. I know that you will be successful, because I see the personality that you have. It is infectious and people naturally like you. Keep dreaming and working toward those dreams. You are going to be able to do whatever you want! I know it. It is ok to have fear, I think learning how to deal with it and function is the secret to life. I am grateful for the comment and I hope you are feeling healthy and happy in cheese country.

      1. mmm cheese…
        I am trying to we keep getting punched. It’s so hard to keep a chin up when people keep taking pot shots at it LOL!
        I have to SMILE or I would melt. I’m trying to achieve balance. As you said fear is a good thing and I feel If your not afraid you don’t care!
        So TRYING to balance it all out. I know I’ll figure it out.
        I cant tell you how sweet your comments are I really needed to hear something positive and you comment really teared me up.
        Thanks so much for your kind heart and words!
        ~ J

        1. You are welcome and it is true. Remember that the power to create in any form is a window into who you really are. If you focus on creating you will find all the motivation you need. Those things are inside of you just looking for an outlet to come out. :-)

    1. It is good to know that you are behind me!! The media is evil! :-) I am not kidding, almost the moment I stopped watching that stuff, I felt happier about life. I am always grateful for your comments BBQ, Makes my day!!

  6. Lovely article outlining all the fears that any person would face. I can’t tell you just how much I like the format of your posts. So organized and slotted into sections that are easily readable.

    I am afraid of death, snakes, being alone(not for too long), never achieving my dreams. But I have a feeling that all of these fears(except snakes ofc) will slowly subside as I realize where my life wants to take me. It is juts a matter of time. :)

    1. I agree Amba, as you grow, you will see them shrink. Thank you for the thoughts on the format. I try to organize them like that so you will not be overwhelmed by words and each little section can be a thought for you to think about. I am so appreciative of your comments. I also dislike snakes, I do not like them at all. I don’t think that will ever change!

  7. Awesome post! I like the idea of making our fears public. This reminds me of a quote by Osho, he said whatsoever you hide goes on growing, whatsoever you expose if its wrong it is evaporated in the sun if it is right it is nourished. :-)

    1. That was the exact idea I had. If I admit it even in the smallest of spaces, then it will be exposed for what it is. That was my thought anyway. I will let you know if it actually works or not. :-) I was following your lead and the limited thoughts I was allowing myself to not only have but live by. Time to put them all away for good.

      1. I’m with you!! The other day I was thinking that I would start a blog to help people find themselves and instead creative-guru became a way for me to expose my own fears and identity traumas. I’ve learned that Fear and ego go hand in hand, so I’ll be working on exposing my ego in hopes to get rid of it once and for all. March ego madness lol.

        1. I like that March Ego Madness. That is the truth. All of my fear comes from that voice. Time for him to go. Don’t worry about “exposing” your fears and identity trauma. If not one other person read your blog, and that is certainly not the case, know that your ability to share has assisted me more than I can say. I have read and thought a lot about how life works and what I needed to do your little contribution here has helped me to begin a forward momentum. Slight as it may be, it is moving forward. I may crash and burn, but I don’t think so. Thanks for all you do!

          1. I’m really happy to hear that, and don’t worry there will be no crashing and no burning and if there were to be I’d have my water hose ready :-). thank you also for all you do. Your work is always well written, has plenty of meaningful content, and truly inspiring.

          2. Shucks. I am blushing now! I was working on something for today and haven’t gotten anywhere. Hopefully you will inspire something good.

  8. Thanks for this post. I think I have a fear of negative critique, and I have a good talent for procrastination. For me it helped a lot when I discovered the works by Steven Pressfield, like Do The Work, and The War of Art. He has also written Turning Pro, which I can recommend. I found these books very helpful.

    Greetings from Sweden

    1. thank you very much for the comment, and the suggestions for reading I will look into them. I appreciate you taking the time to read this article. I think that is awesome. :-)

  9. You have nothing to fear. You are talented, and wise, and one of the rare talents that can accomplish whatever you set your mind to; you just need to set your mind to it, and go after it! Unrestrained. Go and make it yours.

    At the moment, I have more fears than I can name… But, I won’t let them change me, I won’t let them control my actions. I don’t know what the next month, the next year, the next 18 years are going to be like. I don’t know how we are going to do everything we want to do. I don’t know how all the pieces of this puzzle are going to come together and that unknown, that mystery, is very scary indeed. But, I trust in myself and my wife and the great team we make and I know that we too will find a way for it to all work out okay in the end.

    1. Thank you for the encouragement and I send it right back to you. I think that the unknown in life makes it interesting. Also learning to deal with the fear and doubt in a positive way is a talent that makes life much easier. I am sure that you will do a great job when the little Matticus comes into your life. As you already know a great team makes the game of life easier to play. You seem to have assembled a good team there. I am sure you will have a great experience building a family. I appreciate the contribution. I had time to read your post about finding 10,000 since I may never make it back there today, I think you showed great judgment. I would go out to breakfast because it is one of the simple pleasures in life, and then follow your plan the rest of the way. Enjoy the parenthood ride.

Let me know your thoughts.