Change is Coming, Like It Or Not

By Jon Hilton

How I often approach change. It can be scary!

How I often approach change. It can be scary! I need to perfect the art of laughing!

There is nothing more frustrating on the surface than change. It comes along in life whether we want it or not and forces us to do something other than what we have been doing whether we are ready to stop doing it or not.

Many people if not all people have at least a passing disdain for change and I think there are good reasons for this, yet I think we also all are well aware that change is also good! How to deal with this mystery of inevitable and painful movement from one phase of life to another? That is what I am hoping to tell you.

Why Change is Hard

As humans I think it is natural that we find comfort in routine.  It is always safe to get up at the same time, follow the same routine.  Depart for work at about the same time each morning and so on throughout whatever you do during the day.

accepted or changedWe do this because it is safe, we do this because it represents order, we do this because it is reassuring. If you don’t think so, disrupt someone’s routine even for one day, and watch their reaction.

Our minds are always seeking safety and the ability to know where our place in the world is.  The world will not end if you do something different, but it may just feel like it.

Choosing to Change

process not eventIf you  are making the choice to change then something must be significantly amiss. In my life these choices of change have been around wanting to get into shape, or a different job, but deep down they were because I was not happy with life as it was and the only chance to find happiness was to change.

It could be a new work out routine, a new job or a new relationship. New is a nice word for change and makes you feel better about what you are doing.

One of the great things about making the choice to change, is that at least you feel like you have some sort of power in the decision-making process. It may be an illusion but it still provides you with a great chance to feel empowered.  Enjoy that kind of change because the other kind isn’t so very nice.

The Other kind of Change

change 1This is the change that comes on you from nowhere and doesn’t give you an option. It simply gives you change.  A death of a loved one, an accident, an illness, a spouse leaves you, or you are laid off from a job.

There are a ton of examples of this and these are the changes that will kick your teeth in and jump up and down on you gut until you don’t think you can take it another second.

Unwanted change is like the tide, inevitable and like surgery, painful.  Often times the changes required of us are so big we get swallowed up by them for a time. There is an almost numb feeling like life is happening and you are there, but you are not a part of life. This is most often a temporary feeling.  Until you get your bearings back.

Hope of Change

change sailsYet still even though this change stuff can be pretty awful to experience it is not the end of the world.  Although it may seem like it.

When you are able to look at change from the experience of surviving it, then you can start to appreciate the growth you have had.  The pain of loss or suffering has faded and now is replaced with wisdom.  This is the type of learning that life will give you one way or another.

It can be a scary proposition because if things are going great, you should appreciate them for all of their nuances and uniqueness. The hope in change is that it will always bring us closer to where we should be, meaning to me, closer to our authentic selves.

In my own journey there were times I was satisfied yet unaware that I was many, many miles away from where I needed to get. In order to be myself.

My Choice of Change

I am promising myself that I am going to go easy on my fear of change and realize that it is just a natural reaction and emotion. People often will stick with a job, relationship or life that clearly isn’t working because even though they may not be ideal, they are known and therefore less scary than the unknown coming down the road. Even though the unknown may be perfect.

Cast off your line and let your ship move into change seamlessly.  There is no avoiding the specter of change, your only choice is to fight and resist it or to ride the wave-like a surfer.

If there was no change nothing bad would ever get better at anything!

Songs of change:

Changes- David Bowie  Click to listen

Times They are a Changing Bob Dylan

Changes- Yes

More songs about change?

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15 thoughts on “Change is Coming, Like It Or Not”

  1. Holy cow I was driving along yesterday thinking about changes that are going on in the world today. Don’t necessarily like them, but am powerless to stop them. Kind of scary because I like to have control over things.
    Better learn to “Roll With The Changes” REO Speedwagon

    1. I know what you mean Ann, I am the same way! I think everyone is to some degree, change can be a scary thing. I love that REO Speedwagon song, It reminds me of junior high! I was thinking about it yesterday after an article I read about struggling with everything in their life changing. I am Rolling with the changes today I think, but they are still difficult. Thanks for reading and commenting Ann!

  2. And then sometimes, things change so slightly all the time and we don’t realise it until we look back and see how much everyone and everything has changed and continues to change. Loved reading your thoughts as usual Jonathan :)

    1. That is a great perspective! I should add that because that is so true. Subtle change is always affecting our lives, and you can’t see it until you look along the road you have traveled. Thank you Michelle for reading and contributing I always look forward to it :-)

  3. I’ve always been terrified of change. I hate it unless I’m the one initiating it. I don’t mind the occassional furniture rearraging, in fact, I encourage that. But big life changing changes. That’s what gets me! I’ve learned a lot this past year and I’m learning to accept changes. Ones I can control and ones I can’t. Once I get past the scary, things always seem to work out for the best!

    1. You know what? Your writing the past few days was the motivation for this! So there! That shows you what influence you have on me. I know change is a bitch but also needed to move you forward. You will never stay at the exact moment you are at so enjoy that moment and know the next one will have at least minuscule differences. Things will always work out the way they are supposed to. We might as well enjoy them.

  4. I’ve been slammed by that “other kind of change” a couple of times, Jon. I love how you say that sometimes when we are satisfied, we are miles away from where we need to get, to our authentic selves. Life is so intelligent. It slammed me when I started counting the years until I retire. I was just thinking about how this huge change has made me a more loving, compassionate, and empathic person, so in a sense, I am richer for the change.
    Great post, as usual. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo
    p.s.
    you know I was on board when you mentioned surfing a wave. :)

    1. Ha, ha Kozo! I know I had you with that reference. I have never been surfing in my life. Someday I will have to try it. Thanks so much for sharing your change story. I have been slammed as well and it is not a pleasant experience yet, necessary some times. Sometimes we are guided gently by the shoulder, and sometimes we need a kick in the butt to get us going. The universe knows what we need.
      Always great to hear from you and read your comments and thoughts. You are the man!

  5. In a way this ties into your post from yesterday too… If there was no change life would be very boring indeed.
    At work, they try and instil the notion that we view change as an opportunity… I think that’s very smart of them, I also thinks that’s definitely easier said than done.
    On a day to day basis, I tend to fight against change. I like my routines, I like my current comfort levels and activities (or I wouldn’t be doing them). I don’t subscribe to the grass is greener on the other side theory and am always fine with finding ways to be content with what I currently have. Change is the unknown, and the unknown is scary because it could be worse than where I’m currently at. Why take that risk? Then again, not wanting to change is also just me being lazy, because I know that no matter what the change is I will find a way to make it work in my life – and there’s the word I like to avoid: work. It takes effort to make changes come out for the best.
    In the end, I know it is essential. I know it is what of those constants in life (death, taxes, and change). And because I am gumby, I am very good at bending with the changes and figuring out what I need to with each of them. I just don’t always go seeking out change as often as I should.

    1. You are right! This does go with the post from yesterday. I am in a theme rut. Can you tell I am contemplating changes? Or preparing to accept them? I know that when I wrote this I was thinking of the different kinds of change I have seen. It is a good thing that you are gumby when it comes to change. That is a form of adjusting your sails and riding it out. Life will challenge you, and change is most often the vehicle. I have been reflecting a lot over the changes that I have seen and preparing for others coming down the line. Thank you as always for taking the time on a busy Friday to read and comment. I have been saving the Kingdom for a down moment when I have time to contemplate the laughter. :-) Have a great weekend.

      1. We’ll be here when you get a minute, no rush. ;-) Have a good weekend too. And know that you’ve got loads of people around you to help you through whatever changes you are contemplating; you do not face them alone.

  6. “When you are able to look at change from the experience of surviving it, then you can start to appreciate the growth you have had.” I was forced into change and then I made some voluntary changes. I can’t say I’ve enjoyed it, but I have certainly grown from it.
    Good luck with what changes face you.

    1. Thank you Melanie for commenting. I know your changes have been significant. I send positive thoughts to you every day. It sucks that growth has to come in painful ways. I know I have certainly felt my share of it. I also appreciate your support and am always grateful for your comment. It makes my day! :-)

  7. I used to rush headlong into change, which was totally out of character when I come to think about it. Since I’ve experienced a change at work which had not been planned very well and I had to deal with the fallout I have become very cautious. I inch forward trying to peer over the edge of the precipice. I find myself consulting the tarot cards as part of the weighing up of options process.

    1. That has been the consensus, that when you are a bit younger you are less cautious but experience makes you shy away from change and the things that come with it. I am not sure about your situation at work but I bet the next time you are faced with similar circumstances you will handle them much better. :-) I think that may be a post in the future. I feel the same way about inching toward the edge and kind of looking for a landing spot rather than just plugging my nose and jumping and accepting what comes. I have never consulted tarot cards but I am not opposed to it. Every bit of information from all sources can only help! :-) I am grateful for your comments INFP, thank you so much!!

Let me know your thoughts.