Writing has been a great experience but I continually find myself staying away from personal stories or experiences because I was afraid. Sharing your inner thoughts about things that you feel is like exposing yourself to the world and in that showing, there is the chance that what you think or feel will be exposed as a weakness.
The core of my writing here has been about the lessons that I have learned but rarely about the experiences that have taught the lessons. I think that in order to get to an honest place in my writing and in my life there needs to be a complete reckoning of the experiences that have led me to this place and caused me to be insightful, understanding, stubborn and a real pain in the ass to some people.
I understand that to many people who have met me I am a mystery because I show exactly what I want to and keep the edges of myself neatly tucked in revealing nothing of the weakness or doubt that makes up 90% of my daily existence. So this is the day that I declare that I am becoming open and revealing the questions and challenges that I have faced in this crazy experience of life. Like most, I have had high highs and low lows but have in the end worked to look at the tragedies and the triumphs for the lessons they taught about myself and the way the world works. It is my sincerest hope that by pulling back the curtain there will be a real look into what changes a person as they experience life. The choices between dark and light and the power that each individual possesses but rarely understands.
It amazes me that so many people spend so much time ignoring who they are and hiding their experiences. None of us are perfect and most of us are just figuring this whole life thing out. I know I need to relax and understand that I will more than likely not have all the answers. The best I can do is to look at my experiences honestly, glean the lessons and keep moving forward.
The Song of today is Nothing Stays the Same by Luke Sital-Singh because it seems appropriate on a day like this. “We all hurt, We all lie and nothing stays the same.”