I Do Not Like Mean People

Why Mean People Are MeanI don't like Mean People

One of the things I like the least in life are mean people.  Mean people exist and thrive on crapping on the attitude, accomplishments,  interests or well being of someone else, with the sole purpose of making themselves feel more powerful or to increase their own self-esteem.  In a word these people are toxic and need to be avoided at all costs. They can leave you feeling worn out, tired, depleted and negative about everything but most importantly about yourself. It seems that they spend all day thinking about how to be mean to people.

Now I understand that most acts that can be considered mean come from people who need to make themselves feel better about whatever is happening in their lives and because they feel a lack of power, self-esteem or everyday ordinary goodness in their own lives.  This makes them feel the need to treat others poorly.   What bothers me is that it takes very little effort to NOT be mean, and perhaps some of the inadequacies they see in themselves would be alleviated if they just tried to be less judgmental and inconsiderate once in awhile.

Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

I don't like Mean People

Negative Choices Can Make You Mean

People’s actions may be done without the intention of being mean to others, but when you gossip, put others down, ridicule, judge or make fun of someone else, you are stepping into the dark side of mean.  So often in our social media society do people make fun of others, it has become an accepted form of expression.  Look no further than Youtube.  You can look at almost any video on there and if you bother to read the comments left, there is always someone who has gone out of their way to leave a not so positive comment, often using foul language and almost always to put down the content of the video or the creator.   I often wonder how bad their lives must be to spend their time to be so negative.  It is really unnecessary, if you don’t like something you see, why don’t people just not watch it?  I guess that to do that would rob them of an opportunity to be a jerk, and being a jerk and getting noticed is better than not getting noticed at all.  On Facebook, people go to all kinds of lengths to make negative pages about people, for the sole purpose of hurting them.  There are numerous cases of cyber-bullying that have even led to suicide.  Why?  I just don’t seem to be able to grasp the concept of being that hurtful to someone else.

Being Mean To Celebrities, Still Makes You Mean

I don't like Mean People
Charlie is deep
I don't like Mean People
Snookie is Nice

It has become the right of everyone to be negative about everyone who is a celebrity.  We all seem to have a licence to judge them and their situation simply because they are well known.  In reality, we know nothing about the issues facing these people and the facts about their circumstances.  It all comes from jealousy, we as a society, build people up and seem to relish in tearing them down.  Charlie Sheen is a great example.  Does he have issues?  Yeah, he does.  I don’t think that I know enough about him as a person to make a judgement about whether or not he is an addict or mentally unstable.  I have never met him and I don’t know any more about his character or values than I do about someone who cleans windows for a living.  Most people don’t.  That hasn’t stopped our society from judging him and ridiculing his decisions like we are so much better a person than him.  Really we know nothing and a train wreck, real or imagined makes people feel good, because it’s not their train wreck.  Just say the name Snookie and people will immediately let you know their judgments about this person.  I don’t know why people like to judge her so much, but she has gotten rich and famous because of it.  I personally don’t know Snookie and how she chooses to live her life is her business and that of MTV.  I think people criticize her because they see a part of themselves in her that they just don’t like.

In life there are going to be people we deal with that we may not like or appreciate.  It happens, people are different and not everyone is going to get along.  But does that give us a license to be mean to them?  It takes little effort to be courteous and accepting.  If people put in as much effort into being kind and accepting as they did into being mean and judgmental the world would be a much better place.

Here are a few ideas for those of us working on living a positive lifestyle and Stop Being Mean:

I don't like Mean PeopleMost mean people have a sarcastic edge….arm yourself with a few funny one-liners that you can use when faced with a negative person.

Don’t take what a mean person says personally…it is their problem, definitely not yours!

If you have a friend that has a mean streak and tends to say things that hurt you or others, try saying, “Ouch” out loud and never allow yourself to get sucked into the behavior. Always know it is okay to not continue the friendship.

Don’t go running away scared from a mean person, walk away with a stronger sense of yourself, knowing that you made a good decision not to get sucked into the negativity!

The ultimate victory for us is not to fight back, get even, be vindicated, nor ever to bring the Mean Person to justice. The ultimate victory is to render this person irrelevant.

Some helpful hints on how NOT to be mean:I don't like Mean People

  • Before doing anything quickly ask yourself: “Will this thought/action/comment make the world a better place for me, or anyone else?” If not – don’t do it and save yourself the repercussions. There’s no point expending effort in making yourself or others unhappy. Ever.
  • Tell yourself constantly that you’re a nice person so that your mind begins to accept that you are. Change your behavior accordingly to fit these new standards. Thinking you’re one of the “good people” instead of a “bad person” can really make a difference to how you act. Your mind will react positively.
  • Resist judging people if they are not nice to you. You shouldn’t judge people anyway. There is always someone nice inside everybody, even those whose insecurity causes them to be mean to you.
  • Like all habits, this one will be hard to stop. With perseverance, however, your defensive meanness will change.
  • Smile. A smile will let people know that you are pleasant and inviting. If you smile at someone, look them in the eye.
  • Ask people how they are doing. Take the time to ask someone how things are going in their lives, without being nosy or intrusive. If they seem resistant to talking, just let them know that you’re always around to talk to, and that you want them to be alright.
  • Be a good listener. Listen when other people are talking to you.
  • Be courteous, patient, observant, and considerate. And be positive. Don’t be negative or critical. Keep looking for the positive in any given situation.
  • Be humble. The key to being nice is remembering that you are not “better” than someone else. You’re an individual, but everybody has their struggles, and being nice to one another makes life better for everyone.
  • Be sincere.  Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what.
  • Don’t lie. You will go on to do good things if you refrain from lying.

 

20 thoughts on “I Do Not Like Mean People”

  1. I agree with much of what you write in this blog. What I have a bit of issue with is when you discuss celebrities. In my opinion they put themselves out there. They act out in public as well as in private. They have to expect to be judged. They KNOW they will be judged yet still do outrageous things in public.

    I am not saying that people should swear or give inappropriate comments but they choose to live their lives in the public, especially the 2 examples you gave. They have to expect to hear negative mean things. And if you have read quotes from them, they give as good as they get.

    There will always be mean people as long as their are people not happy with their lives and do not know how to love themselves. Sad but true.

  2. People throw insults in order to make people be absorbed into their dynamics and to gain power over you. In my mind, that is exactly what mean people want to do (hence why insults is their main weapon). Beating mean people doesn’t mean being better at their own game – as you suggested – it is not being sucked into their taunts.

    I never quite understood why celebrities (or just known people) get so many haters for no apparent reason. It definitely shows how judgemental we are as a society. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t care about Justin Bieber in my social circle. It seems like you can’t sit in the middle and have to be either a hater or a lover for most of these celebrities.

    Great post Jonathan!

    1. Thank you Jason, very grateful for the response. I think many people don’t see the connection between talking bad about anybody else and diminishing their own experience. It is easy to be a hater, but it is even easier to say nothing. Have an outstanding day.
      Jonathan

  3. This is so true! I hate mean people as they just treat others the way they want even if they have no idea what that person is going through. Whether a celebrity or just an average person, we should learn how to look on ourselves first and see that even us are not perfect. Nice blog, by the way! I am looking forward to read more of your posts. More power, Jonathan!

    1. Thank you Vianney, I appreciate your visit and your comments. Please visit and comment all that you feel moved to. I have read through your blog as well and appreciate your positive outlook on life! Have an outstanding day!
      Jonathan

    1. Thank you food the thought. I am sure I deserve criticism often. I appreciate your comment, and respectfully disagree. Have a great day. 🙂

  4. Stunning post and I totally agree with all you said. There should be “love it” buttons on your WordPress blog. 🙂

    1. PS: I loved Charlie Sheen as an actor. He was great and he always made me laugh in “Two and a half men”. I for one don’t care what people say about actors and celebrities. 🙂

        1. You are very welcome Jon and I am only mean to people who abuses animals, kids and elderly folks. Then the QB in me comes out very easily. 🙂

  5. Great post and such a true one. I did research on bullying for a photo series and cyber bullying has become the top most type of bullying today – because adults do it to people, kids do it and there is no face to face conflict it has become the “easy way” way to bully.

    I have even seen on a page where a group of adults took on a mob mentality on FB in a post and was posting a teenager’s personal information after that teen had done something minor ( believe it was he parked in a handicap space and wouldn’t move for an elderly gentleman). They went on and on what should be done to him etc and like I said was giving his personal information (phone number, address) – one lady even went as far as to call his home and harass him.

    To me this should be illegal and all bullying should be. To many people, more today it seems then in my day but then that maybe my way of seeing things. People are becoming more self absorbed and less neighborly which is causing a lot of “mean mindedness”.

    Meanness is one of my pet peavess.

    Thank you for posting such a wonderful post as always,

    T

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read and write such a positive comment. I think that people of all ages need to take some time and consider what their actions actually mean for those in their lives. I hope that people look at situations like you describe with love and acceptance rather than ridicule and intolerance. I don’t know much but I know that result won’t be positive for anyone. Hope all is well with you my friend. Great to hear from you and wishing you well this cold winter day!

  6. 1. AWESOME layouts you have created. 2. I could hug you for this post….it is like you read my mind this week. I’ve had some horrid experiences with very mean people. But, you know what? I will survive–and not just cuz I have to. and 3. just another hug!!! :o)

    1. Aww thanks Kris! I appreciate the encouragement! I am glad that you got something out of this. People can provide horrid experiences and I know you will survive. Even though it doesn’t feel like it, their bad behavior has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Keep your chin up and keep being the awesome person you are!!

Leave a Reply to Jon Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge