Everyone feel like this sometime
Everyone feel like this sometimes

For many people, including myself, there are times in life where we are not sure what to do next.  A new situation confronts us, we have to move left or tack right, something is headed right for us! What do we do?

Now for me, either because of the way I was brought up or because I am just a very stubborn person asking anyone for help or advice is almost always out of the question because, it would reveal to the world, gasp,  “I don’t know everything.”

OK, I am sure that the world doesn’t care if I know everything or not, so then why would it bother me so much to ask for help?

Recently I have contemplated this mystery because someone recently asked me if they could help me.   My initial reaction was pretty typical I think, “No, thank you, I am fine.”

Then I stopped to think about it.  I am not perfect, I don’t have all the answers, perhaps there is some assistance that I could get from someone else’s insights, experiences or knowledge.  I then remembered two things.  There are people who I knew were in deep

Look to give a helping hand.
Look to give a helping hand.

trouble and I offered to help them and they said: “No thanks, I am fine.”

The second thing I remembered was when I was at the lowest point of my life.  Where I was struggling to make it through each day, and if anyone needed help or encouragement it was me and continually I would pretend that everything was fine, I was OK. When in reality, I was really in distress, and just too proud or stubborn to let anyone know about it or help me navigate through this difficult time.

In retrospect, this was very foolish behavior. I could have had the smartest person in the world at my disposal and it wouldn’t have mattered because I was intent on keeping my problems to myself.  No point in burdening anyone else with my problems.  The result is needless suffering.

Help is not a dirty word.  It doesn’t mean you are weak if you lean on someone else for advice, assistance or support.

In fact, it shows two things.  First that you are intelligent and

It would be nice if this guy showed up when you had questions, but life usually chooses more accessible messengers. Listen to them!
It would be nice if this guy showed up when you had questions, but life usually chooses more accessible messengers. Listen to them!

recognize that you need some information that you don’t have to move forward in the most efficient manner.  Secondly, it gives others a chance to help you.

Most people have great intentions and want to make your life a bit easier by sharing their wisdom.

This doesn’t mean that you have to listen to every person you meet in a coffee shop, rather I think it means that if you need help, don’t be too proud to ask or too stubborn to accept it when it comes to you.

 That is how the world works best, with all of us working together.

The Beatles had it right……………

6 thoughts on “Help!”

  1. It’s my stubbornness that always gets me. I like to be self-reliant, and grew up in a family that taught me the importance of being able to do things for myself, so I will stubbornly stumble forward and muddle through until I can either figure it out, or I get so lost I am forced to ask for help.
    It’s interesting though, because while sometimes these things would have worked out for the better if I had asked for help to begin with, other times i walked away from the situation having learned something valuable about myself and about the world and had a little more confidence a little more self-esteem because I was able to do it on my own. Sometimes, we should face challenges alone.
    So, how do we know which is which? How do when know when we should go it alone and when we should ask for help?
    Those are questions that we each have to figure out on our own, and on a case by case basis too. Every situation is different. Every day is different. My truth, my abilities, my knowledge today may mean nothing at all tomorrow.

    1. Great thought Matt, I agree that sometimes there are situations that I have learned a lot and gained confidence by doing things myself. That is a part of being self reliant and I too was raised that you should manage your own problems and obstacles. Yet there are times when perhaps a person comes into your life that can give you a bit of guidance in a situation that can save you pain or trouble. Sometimes the troubles are just too much to handle or you have never encountered them before. I think that wisdom would be able to decipher which situations we should handle ourselves and which we should look for help on. Grateful for the thoughts Matt.

      1. I rarely turn away truthful offers of help. If the person is just asking to be polite then I say, “No, I’m good.” But, if they really care, and have the means to offer assistance without it causing them any problems, then the more the merrier.
        Except, of course, when I can’t tell who is being real and who isn’t…

        1. Wisdom and experience can help to determine who is being real. It is difficult because to ask for help you have to share at least a part of what is bothering you, so that can be difficult to admit weakness or even discomfort. For me it is even hard to accept advice on which way to turn or simple directions because I am afraid people will realize that I don’t know everything. 🙂

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