Painful experiences in life affect people in significant ways. They can cling to you and invade everything that you do each day coloring your existence with doubt and questions about your self-worth and value. Some people and/or events have hurt us down to our core and it seems we may never get over it, but we need to in order to move on and be the productive people we were meant to become in life. There are valuable life lessons to learn here.
It may seem that forgetting the person or thing that hurt us is impossible and perhaps it is, but one thing is for certain; until you do stop dwelling on it or them, bad experiences will be following you around, sapping your energy and stealing your happiness until you decide to put it in the past and move on.
I Can’t Possibly Forget Life Lessons
You may believe that whatever hurt you was so vast, so large, so massive, so traumatic that of course, you can never forget it. Isn’t this a choice? What if you did forget it? What would change? Just for a moment imagine how your life would change if this “thing” wasn’t with you anymore. Would your life be happier?
Some good advice I got was that once we have released the energy of things which are bothering us, we make room in our lives for other things to enter that will fill those spaces. Since we are wiser and have learned our lessons then we are only going to let things in that are there to serve us.
Letting go of the thing that hurt us can be very difficult because the pain has become a part of our lives. I guess that we just learn how to deal with it and that coping has given us some strength. Remembering the painful things that people have done gives them power and takes power from us. Maybe a better way to say this is to change your focus, onto the positive decisions that you can’t make. One horrible and painful experience doesn’t define you or diminish the power, strength, kindness, caring, and love that exists in you all the time. It just makes it hard for you to see it in yourself.
We Have No Choice About What happens to Us
Sometimes we have absolutely no choice about what happens to us, people lie to us, steal from us, take advantage of us, or hurt us physically. That is their choice, how we respond to that is our choice. It always will be. If you choose to remember a wrong and carry it with you as a reminder of how poorly people can behave, then you will be isolating yourself from so much of the good that people can be.
Because there is always an opposite side of all things. Where there is violence there is peace. Where there is stealing there is giving, where there is hate there is always love. I think that when you let a bad situation pervade your life forever and become a part of your story, there is no room for healing. Healing can’t come until you put your focus on the healing and not on the person or thing that hurt you. You alone decide what defines you in your life. There is no way anyone else could.
Remember The Life Lessons
The lessons we are taught through pain are there to allow us to avoid being hurt in the future. The lessons that pain teaches are vast and deep. Being hurt provides a chance to grow and change our lives in a positive way if we decide to move that way. Each of the scars I have accumulated has gone a long way in developing a wisdom and understanding that was not there before. I would like to have been able to avoid them, but they happened and I can’t go back and change the past.
The best I can do is to take the lesson and move forward with a positive attitude and understand that I did the absolute best I could. Most other people are doing the same thing. Learning in the school of life is not a clear curriculum. The lessons can come from the strangest places and experiences are always trying to allow you to see a path to becoming your best self. Perhaps you will find this person right there, just on the other side of a painful lesson.
Time to Forget……………….