No Approval Needed

I-AM-who-I-AMI was reminded today that I am grateful that I don’t really care what anyone else thinks about what I think and do.

I was reading a website which reminded me of all of the times when we are young that it becomes difficult to be who you are. Peer pressure, to be what and who society tells us we should limit us.  It can become a lifelong affliction if you aren’t careful. So today I am grateful that I don’t care what anyone else thinks about who I am and what I do.

Building Your Own Cage

l_32a839e0-91bc-11e1-99e7-f9ed17800001Worrying what other people think is a full-time job. When you are younger, you worry about everything. The way your hair looks, what you say, how you walk, the clothes you wear, and any other aspect of your existence that can be judged.  When you start to construct those things to be the least offensive or to give the least amount of fodder for others to pick on, you start to build your own cage.

This cage doesn’t seem too harmful at first.  The bars are constructed with every compromise you make with yourself about what you let the world see.  An opinion you keep to yourself to avoid a conflict up goes a bar.  Actions you take which go along i_don't_care_what-99410with the crowd, even though you don’t believe it right, up goes another bar.  Bars start to be constructed so quickly that you don’t have time to notice the cage you have placed yourself inside.  One of the expectations of others, the worry that you won’t fit in, the fear that your true self will be seen and then rejected.

Over time living in that cage is who you think you are, but that isn’t true.

Breaking Free

For me I lived in that cage for a lot of years, pretending not to notice the limitations on your life.  The worst part is that you forget the parts of yourself that you were hiding in the first place.

Something started to happen in life, events started to occur which reminded me of something that I couldn’t remember.  Who was I?  Why didn’t I seem to have a good answer for that questions.  That is the beginning of breaking out of that cage.

i-dont-try-to-get-other-people-to-approve-of-meRemembering who you are shouldn’t be as hard as it is, but when you start to remember, then you start see the cage disappear.  So easily that you wonder why you let them be constructed in the first place.

Today I am Free

This is because when it comes to what you think and how you behave you have to be yourself and I am living with that thought. I believe what I know in my heart is right.  I do what I know is right and I don’t let the thought of what someone else might think to stop me at all.

The fear that my authentic self will be rejected is almost totally removed because I realize that it isn’t my job to be liked and understood by everyone else in the world.  Their thoughts and issues are none of my business.

The type of person I am in my heart is my business and I take my business very seriously.

So hate me, love me, ignore me, it is your choice. I do give a flying fig newton what you think.  And I mean that in a good way.  I am grateful that I don’t care what others think of me. 

High School Never Ends

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3 thoughts on “No Approval Needed”

  1. Today I am thankful to see a little passion in your writing and for the timeliness of your post. Although my approval of and comment on your post is clearly unnecessary, you make a valid point. As much as one can aspire to be happy, kind and forgiving, there is only so much judgment of others a person can tolerate. Years ago a favorite quote of mine was “Be yourself, nobody else will know if you are doing it wrong.” Live your life as best you can for you and those you love, those who matter will appreciate it, those who don’t are not worth the energy spent worrying about their perceptions. Perhaps it is the realization of this concept that opens the door to true happiness…

    1. Thank you Julie for taking the time to comment on this. As you said I may not need validation for writing but it is always nice to hear someone else understands. I do appreciate that. Love the quote, “Be yourself, nobody else will know if you are doing it wrong.” So very true! I think that I spent way too much time wasting energy, worrying about what other people thought. Grateful for the comment.

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