Funny Thing About New Experiences

by Jonathan Hilton

change, growth, fearFor the past week I have been having a difficult time finding my voice to write again.  I remember fondly of the days last year when I could simply see a question, and quickly and easily organize my thoughts, and express my feelings about it.  Those were the days, two months ago.  Yet today I follow the same format and I struggle to form a sentence.

Change and Growth Change Everything

I have gone through a great experience that has left and unmistakable and long-lasting mark on me, yet I simply cannot seem to write like I used to.  This has been a frightening thing to realize.  I have tried approximately a hundred times to start writing about the thoughts, and views that I hold so dear, but after a promising first sentence or catchy paragraph, the ideas and creativity would simply vanish, into the either as if they never existed at all.  I have the drafts to prove it.  Poor ideas generated, developed and lost. It does not feel good.

You Aren’t That Person Anymore

change-quotesThis is when it dawned ideas and on me that one of the effects of experiencing new people and things in your life is that they change you in all ways.  They don’t make you better or worse they just make you different.  I know that it is called growth, and without the capacity to grow as individuals we are going to wither and die, either literally or figuratively or both.

Of course the flip side of change is that a whole new level of thought and insight is at your disposal. Like coming to the end of a tunnel and busting through only to find a cache of rooms full of ideas never considered or understanding which what impossible before.

My Past Travels in Writing

Reading through my writing from the early part of the year, I can mark my development and growth, like a road map to my thoughts and insights today.  It feels much like you do when you look at old pictures of yourself.  You remember the moments and they are special but that is not you anymore, you are now someone else.

inspirational_words_of_wisdom_quotesHere is to hoping that I can adjust to the new me and find the topics that are going to push my growth further along.  I am looking hard within to find the content that needs to be explored and the edges that need to be smoothed.  It should prove to be an interesting ride no matter what happens.

Sarcastically I say to all of those people I have met and worked with this summer, “Thanks a lot!”  Seriously though, I would never have reached these thoughts and ideas without you and the inspiration you brought me by your good and/or bad behavior.

So What Do I Do Now?

I-begin-with-an-idea-300x297Well it seems clear to me that my writing in this space has to move from the theoretical and move toward being more descriptive about my life and the experiences I have had in it.  That is a challenge, but a good one to try.  Only time will tell if my insights are interesting enough to take a look at or not.  All I can say is that all are welcome on this journey and I am always looking for the next person or situation to provide insight and creativity in any situation.

 

Nobody knows everything but everyone knows something!  The right song for this post.

14 thoughts on “Funny Thing About New Experiences”

  1. “Only time will tell if my insights are interesting enough to take a look at or not. ” – You, JD, will make them interesting. The way you write, the time you take to consider the details and what it all means, will make even the most mundane insight worth pausing to reflect upon.

    1. Thanks Matt, I am so grateful for you support. I am not sure about making the mundane sound interesting but I will hope to just express myself in a way that is relatively interesting. Thank you for the encouragement. You are one of the people who has been a constant support almost since I started this blog experiment last year. I also meant to comment on the Silverado movie quotes the other day, one of my favorite all time movies! I think it is a classic, the story, the action, the ending. All excellent!!

  2. I understand what you mean, Jon. I have had the same. If I look back to when I first started blogging (on another platform) to now, I have not really changed much but I have grown and sometimes I cannot put that in words. At times, when I really do need to tell something I start writing as though I am telling a best friend (my blog is that, my best friend) and then the words begin to flow. You though, have a specific way of writing which is always worth reading.

    1. Thank you Michelle! I am listening to all that you say here. Great advice and I can use all the help I can get to write in a more consistent manner right now. I have had a hard time in writing about personal stuff for whatever reason. I know that I have written a certain way, and I guess changing that is a fear of mine. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! I have said it before and I will say it again, you are awesome!! :-)

  3. We all go through some patches like this (at least I think so). You’ll get back in the groove of things whether in a new direction, more personal, etc. Especially writing about personal experiences, its always a challenge. I’m sure you’ll figure it out :)

    1. Thank you Kim! I am confident that I will figure it out eventually. I thought it was a shock that I had changed so much in such a short time, I thought I would just pick up and be relatively in the same place that I was before. Who would have thought that growth would need to be managed. So great to hear from you and to read your blog again. Loved the pictures of you guys with your family the other day. Looked like a great time!! Hope you are working on your dream job. :-) I am grateful for your comment my friend.

      1. It was pretty fun. I’ve been going through some problems of my own but that really took my mind off things for a bit :)
        Dream job is still just a dream but I’m inching towards it. Had a few chats with one of my friends and we might have a good idea that we might work on together. Business venture of sorts, just need to build the skills for it.
        Its always nice to read your posts Jon :) Just keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll find what you want to write about soon enough!

        1. I meant to mention and didn’t that I am sorry you are going through some problems. Feel free to get in touch with me if you want to vent or need any advice at all. I know you probably got it all handled but I am here if you need to talk. Hope you are well my friend!!

  4. IT’s amazing once you open your heart and say… I don’t know, BLAHAHAHAHA then BOOM you see something or hear something that brings you to your epiphany. It’s agony but usually once the lesson is learned your set! Another wonderful post about introspection!

    1. I am not sure what you will learn, but I am going to do my best to write what comes to me and I need to express. :-) It is always so good to hear from you and now I can sleep at night because I know you can leave comments on my blog!! I hope all is well in Holland and you are enjoying the experience of school. I enjoy reading all of your creative contributions. You can make a phrase bite a person. (in a good way) You are a fantastic person!

Let me know your thoughts.